


“From the Beginning” Yamachii Fiction Collection

by Jumping_Girl_Juliet



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Cute boys in love, Dear. Concert Setting, Discovery of Love, Falling In Love, Friendship to Love, Growing Up, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Love Story, M/M, NSFW, Party Monster, Unrequited Love, YAMACHII - Freeform, concert setting, explicit - Freeform, stupid antics abound, sweetness and precious and I love them hope you do too!, totally sweet romantic cute relationship, yamachine - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2018-11-13 16:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 92,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jumping_Girl_Juliet/pseuds/Jumping_Girl_Juliet
Summary: PLEASE NOTE:This is a Yamachii Romance/Home Life and features the boys in a romantic/intimate relationship with one another.This is MOST DEFINITELY rated NC-17 for language and explicit sexual content!A few notes about the drabbles/oneshots:--When I write, nicknames are a must, and I feel like Ryosuke would definitely be into nicknames, thus in the story his “common” nickname for Yuri is “Ree” and his affectionate/loving nickname for him is a play on words: “Chiisana” which is 小さな (Chīsana): small, little, tiny; young, little in Japanese--despite references to real life events such as Ryosuke’s back pain and such, I did NOT verify the timeline, just added these details where they worked for the story--so no, I wasn’t THAT conscientious of timing, sorry!--there is never underage sex in my stories.





	1. Timeline

**Author's Note:**

> The parts of this collection are written out of order but will be PLACED here IN ORDER. You will need to rely on the chapter titles and descriptions to be sure you are reading the newest one (or subscribe and it will tell you which chapter I have added most recently)
> 
> Here are the current parts of the story:
> 
> Part .5 Halloween Candy (Yamachii as children fighting over Halloween Candy)
> 
> Part 1 One Day (2008-2010 Growing Up, October/November 2013 Coming of Age Ceremony Planning–includes all 4 members of 7)
> 
> Part 2 It's Enough (November 30, 2013: Hey Say 7 celebrates Yuri's 20th Birthday, 2013–includes all 4 members of 7)
> 
> Part 3 Death by Chinen (December 18-20, 2013: Ainoarika Video Filming, includes Yuto)
> 
> Part 4 Together (January 13, 2014: Coming of Age Ceremony Evening aka "he stayed the night and never left" )
> 
> Part 5 REAL (January 13-14, 2014: Post Confession 24-hours)
> 
> Parts 6 & 7 It's Always Been You (Dialogue prompts: January 26, 2014: "I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention." & March 8, 2014: "Yes, I watch you sleep. No, not in a weird way!")
> 
> Part 8 You're The Monster (November 12-15, 2014, Filming Ryosuke's guest appearance as Zekki in Jigoku Sensei Nube & the results of being on set with Yuri) (NSFW) 
> 
> Part 9 DEAR. Party Monster x29 (aka 29 times Chinen did not die from performing 'Party Monster') (DEAR. concert series, 2016) (NSFW)
> 
> Part 10 Canada (October 2017, Yuri goes to Canada for work, leaving Yama-chan alone) 
> 
> Part 11 Love Letters (November 2017)
> 
> Part 12 Your Fault (October 25, 2017: Dialogue Prompt, "I worked all day, and I want to go out to dinner, go get dressed, you slacker.") 
> 
> Part 13 Resident Expert (December 2017, Yamachii host a family dinner at home) (NSFW)
> 
> Part 14 & 15 You Have To Sleep Sometime & Coordinated (June 2018, Features: Hey! Say! 7--A cold shower for Yama-chan and Pillowfight retribution--features Okajima)
> 
> Part 16 Buzz Rhythm (July 27, 2018 Yamachii getting ready to perform Cosmic Human on Buzz Rhythm, features Hikaru)
> 
> Part 17 Inside The Tent (August 2018, Jump camps on Itadaki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the timeline I am building the entirety of this collection around. It's a loose interpretation just so I can have things sorted in my mind, cause I am so stupidly extra that way haha

##  **Story Notes & Timeline after the READ MORE**

* * *

**This is a work in progress and is still incomplete (the timeline and the story haha)–but if you are the sort who likes to see these kinds of details you might enjoy it.**

##  **Please note–there are _MAJOR SPOILERS_  in the timeline for chapters I have  _NOT PUBLISHED_  yet! **

I use this timeline to plot my story and to keep things straight–so it’s really a tool I use to write the collection better–but I know others might enjoy seeing the visual but I can’t be responsible if you get something completely ruined because you look below! haha MMMWAH!

**Proceed at your own risk!**

**A few notes about the collection:**

–When I write, nicknames are a  **must** , and I feel like Ryosuke would definitely be into nicknames, thus in the story his “common” nickname for Yuri is “Ree” and his affectionate/loving nickname for him is a play on words: “Chiisana” which is 小さな: small, little, tiny; young, little in Japanese– **BY THE WAY:**

**In my mind the nickname is _very relaxed_ , like the way they drop off bits of words when they talk casually–so when I hear Ryosuke say this nickname I don’t actually hear the whole word…it would be more like “Chiisa” or “Chiisan”, rarely if ever saying the “ah” on the end. Sorry, just wanted to clarify that!**

–despite references to real life events such as Ryosuke’s back pain and such, I did NOT verify the timeline, just added these details where they worked for the story–so no, I wasn’t  _THAT_ conscientious of timing,  _sorry!_

–there is  **never**  underage sex in my stories, and I will  **never** write that. In fact, I will go out of my way to ensure the reader is fully aware these are ADULTS and that NO sexual contact happens  **until** they are adults–in this case 20, as that’s the age of consent (legally throughout the country despite different prefectures having their own laws) in Japan–and I would rather be conservative up front than apologize after!

The Timeline featured here DOES have spoilers so if you’d rather not see them please don’t scroll down–otherwise, you can check out the timeline for a better understanding of when story events take place!

Items marked with a @ are guesses on my part to have an idea of where something might have fit in alignment with other parts. I  **DID NOT**  research these, just put them in line with the other events to have a general idea. If you do know the specifics it would be wonderful to have them! MMMWAH!

Items that have parts of the story written for them already in this collection are  **bold** and linked to the page here on AO3 so they are easier to identify.

 _Parts that are planned but not yet written_  are placed the same way but are denoted with an *.

* * *

##  **1993**

* * *

April 1, 1993 Keito born

May 9, 1993 Yama-chan born

August 10, 1993 Yuto born

November 30, 1993 Chii-chan born

* * *

##  **2007**

* * *

September 24, 2007 Johnny & Associates announced the formation of Hey! Say! JUMP @  _Johnny’s Junior’s Hey Say '07_  Concert

November 14, 2007  _Ultra Music Power_ CD debut released, Japan’s Volleyball World Cup Relay 2007 theme song  

December 22, 2007   _Hey! Say! JUMP Debut & First Concert Ikinari!_ (youngest group ever to perform in Tokyo Dome)

* * *

##  **2008**

* * *

April 4-6 Spring Concert 2008

April 30, 2008  _Hey! Say! JUMP Debut & First Concert Ikinari! in Tokyo Dome _DVD released **  
**

May 3-6, 2008 Spring Concert 2008

May, 2008  _Dreams Come True_  single released

July 2008  _Your Seed_ single used in Kung-Fu Panda _  
_

August 2-September 5, 2008 Summary

October 2008  _Mayonaka no Shadow Boy_  single released, theme song for  _Scrap Teacher_

December 20-21, 2008 Hey! Say! JUMP-ing Tour

  * **[2008 Sleepy Boys @ hotel (Posted: _One Day_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31408848)**




December 27-28, 2008Hey! Say! JUMP-ing Tour

* * *

##  **2009**

* * *

January 3-5 2009 Hey! Say! JUMP-ing Tour

March 21-22, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (Hey! Say! 7)

March 24-25, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (Hey! Say! 7)

March 31, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (HSJ)

April 3-5, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (HSJ)

April 19, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (HSJ)

April 26, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (HSJ)

April 29, 2009  _Hey! Say! Jump-ing Tour '08-'09_ DVD released **  
**

May 3-5, 2009 Spring Tour/Concert (HSJ)

July 23-29, 2009 Tengoku Concert Tour

August 4-5, 2009 Tengoku Concert Tour

August 14, 2009 Tengoku Concert Tour

August 25-27, 2009 Tengoku Concert Tour

September 13, 2009 Tengoku Dome

October 3, 2009 Yamada Ryosuke stars in  _Hidarime Tantei EYE SP_  as Ainosuke Tanaka

@October 2009 “Memories” was used as the theme song for the SP

October 17, 2009 Yamada Ryosuke cast in  _左目探偵EYE / Hidari-me Tantei EYE_

  * [**October 31, 2009 Yama-chan and Chii-chan fight over Halloween Candy (Posted: _Halloween Candy_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378055)



November 25, 2009  _Hey! Say! JUMP First Photobook_  released

December 19-20, 2009 Winter Concert Tour

  * [**2009 Chii-chan’s bad dream (Posted: _One Day_ ) **](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31408848)



December 23, 2009 Winter Concert Tour

* * *

##  **2010**

* * *

January 2-6, 2010 Winter Concert Tour

January 2010   _左目探偵EYE / Hidari-me Tantei EYE_ begins airing

February 24, 2010 “Hitomi no Screen” released, theme song for the drama  _Hidarime Tantei EYE_

Hey! Say! 7 song “Kagayaki Days” used for Lotte commercial

March 2010  _左目探偵EYE / Hidari-me Tantei EYE_ finishes airing 

March 2, 2010 Yamada Ryosuke and Chinen Yuuri will be debut as NYC

April 2-4, 2010 ten JUMP Tour

April 24-25, 2010 ten JUMP Tour

  * [**2010 Yama-chan says his name (Posted: _One Day_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31408848)



May 2-5, 2010 ten JUMP Tour

May 16, 2010 ten JUMP Tour

July 7, 2010  _JUMP NO.1_  album released

July 19-August 29, 2010 Summary 2010

September 15, 2010  _Hey! Say! 2010 TEN JUMP_ DVD released

December 15, 2010 “Arigato (Sekai no Doko ni Itemo) _”_ released

December 25-26, 2010 Winter Concert

* * *

##  **2011**

* * *

January 2-6, 2011 Winter Concert, Yokohama Arena  

January 12, 2011  _Summary 2010_  DVD released

January 15-16, 2011 Winter Concert

February 4, 2011 Okamoto Keito chosen for the final episode of  _Kinpachi Sensei_

March 11, 2011 Earthquake and Tsunami hits Japan

March 15, 2011 Hey! Say! JUMP with NYC Spring Concert tour 2011 canceled due to earthquake and tsunami

March 27, 2011 Okamoto Keito appeared in  _Kinpachi Sensei_

April 1, 2011 Johnny & Associates created the earthquake relief project  _Marching J_

April 10, 2011 JUMP & Yuuki 100% Concert with NYC

April 17, 2011  JUMP & Yuuki 100% Concert with NYC

April 24, 2011 JUMP & Yuuki 100% Concert with NYC

May 3-5, 2011  JUMP & Yuuki 100% Concert with NYC

May 8, 2011  JUMP & Yuuki 100% Concert with NYC

May 28-29, 2011 JUMP & Yuuki 100% Concert with NYC

June 6, 2011 Yamada Ryosuke and Chinen Yuri appear as voice-actors for  _The Smurfs_

June 28, 2011 Johnny & Associates announced that Morimoto will be suspended indefinitely

June 29, 2011  _OVER._  single released

July 14, 2011 “Magic Power” announced as theme song for “The Smurfs”

August 7-September 11, 2011 Summary 2011, Tokyo Dome City Hall

September 18, 2011 Johnny Kitagawa presented with two Guinness World Record awards. Hey! Say! JUMP received the award in their SUMMARY 2011 concert with Guinness World Records representative Frank Foley. 

September 18, 2011 Summary 2011

September 21, 2011  _Magic Power_  single released

September 24-25, 2011 Summary 2011

November 6, 2011 Arioka Daiki will star in  _Chushingura, Sono Gi Sono Ai_

November 23, 2011 Chinen Yuuri will star in a new drama with Yamashita Tomoshita.

* * *

##  **2012**

* * *

@January 2012  _Chushingura, Sono Gi Sono Ai_  starts airing  

@January 2012  _Risou no Musuko_  begins airing  

January 2, 2012 Yamada Ryosuke stars in historical drama  _Shirarezaru Bakumatsu no Shishi: Yamada Akiyoshi Monogatari_

January 1-4, 2012 New Year Concert

January 6-7 New Year Concert

  * **February 17, 2012 Yamada Ryosuke, Nakajima Yuto, and Chinen Yuuri graduate from high school ***



February 22, 2012  _Super Delicate_  single released

@April 10, 2012 recording studio for  _JUMP World_  album

May 3-9, 2012  _Asia First Tour_ , Yokohama Arena (14 shows)

May 26-27, 2012  _Asia First Tour_ , KITEC Star Hall, Hong Kong

June 6, 2012  _JUMP World_ album released (“Arigatō (Sekai no Doko ni Ite mo)”)

July 8, 2012 Jump World Tour

July 21-22, 2012  Jump World Tour

August 4-5, 2012 Asia First Tour  _Asia First Tour_ , Nankang 101, Taipei, Taiwan   

August 15, 2012 Jump World Tour

August 18-19, 2012 Jump World Tour

August 28-29, 2012 Jump World Tour

September 23, 2012Jump World Tour

  * **@August 11, 2012 Ryosuke records _Mystery Virgin*_**



@August 15, 2012  _The Files of Young Kindaichi – Lost in Kowloon_  begins filming with Ryosuke in Hong Kong

@November 3, 2012 Ryosuke filmed video for “Mystery Virgin”

November 10, 2012 Johnny’s World begins (103 performances)

November 28, 2012 Ryosuke premieres “Mystery Virgin” @ Best Artist

November 28, 2012 JUMP perform Special Medley @ Best Artist

December 5, 2012 Ryosuke performs “Mystery Virgin” @Shounen Club

December 9, 2012 Ryosuke performs “Mystery Virgin” @School Kakumei

December 31, 2012-January 1, 2013 Johnny’s Countdown

December 31, 2012 Ryosuke performed “Ai no Katamari” with KinKi Kids on Johnny’s Countdown Live

* * *

##  **2013**

* * *

January 9, 2013 “Mystery Virgin” released (Ryosuke)

January 9, 2013 Ryosuke appears as guest star @Shounen Club

January 12, 2013 The Files of Young Kindaichi – Lost in Kowloon airs

January 12, 2013 Ryosuke guest starred @Music Japan

January 27, 2013 Johnny’s World ends (103 performances)

March 3, 2013 The First Jump to Thailand, Parc Paragon of Siam Paragon

March 16-17, 2013 Johnny’s World

March 30-31, 2013 Johnny’s World

April 13-14, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

April 28, 2013   Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

May 3, 2013  Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

May 9, 2013 Ryosuke turns 20

May 11-12, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

May 25-26, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

June 22-23, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

June 26, 2013 “Come On A My House” released

June 30, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

July 14-15, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

July 20-21, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

August 11, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour

August 23, 2013 Zenkoku e JUMP Tour Final Show

@August 2013 Ryosuke’s Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo Gokumon Juku Satsujin Jiken films in Malaysia (with Daiki)

@October 2013 Yuri filming Samurai Hustle (Yoshinosuke Suzuki)

  * [**October 6, 2013 Boy’s meeting about Coming of Age Ceremony (Posted: _One Day_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31408848)



@October 2013 filming for “Ride With Me”

  * [**Nov 30, 2013 Yuri turns 20 (Posted: _It’s Enough_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31409022)



@December filming for “AinoArika”

  * **[December 4, 2013 Boy’s meet to discuss Kamon and kimono choices (Posted: _One Day)_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31408848)**


  * [**December 18, 2013 The phone call from Chii-chan (Posted: _Death by Chinen_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31409139)


  * [**December 19, 2013 “AinoArika” Practice (Posted: _Death by Chinen_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31409139)


  * [**December 20, 2013 “AinoArika” video production (Posted: _Death by Chinen_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31409139)



December 25, 2013 “Ride With Me” single released

* * *

##  **2014**

* * *

January 4, 2014 Ryosuke’s Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo Gokumon Juku Satsujin Jiken airs

  * [**January 13, 2014 –coming of age ceremony –stayed, never left (Posted: _Together._ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/32976063#workskin)


  * **[January 13-14, 2014, the 24 hours post confession (Posted: _REAL._ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/32975970)**


  * **[January 26, 2014 stay forever, 2 weeks (Posted: _It’s Always Been You_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/32976090)**



February, 5, 2014 “AinoArika” single released

@March rehearsals for Tokyo Dome shows begin

@March 2014 Yuri filming Hissatsu Shingotonin Special

  * **[March 8, 2014 —waking up pictures– (Posted: _It’s Always Been You_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/32976090)**



@April 2014 Ryosuke filming Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo N (neo)

May 10-11, 2014 “Live With Me” shows @Tokyo Dome

@May/June rehearsals for tour begin

  * **June 1 2014 Ryosuke begins filming for Okaasan, Ore Wa Daijoubu (Role: Sasaki Ryohei, lost 6kg in week)***



June 18, 2014 S3ART album released

June 21, 2014 Samurai Hustle (Yuri) released

@July 2014 filming for “Weekender”

@June 2014 Yuri films Jigoku Sensei Nube

  * **@June 2014 Ryosuke films his part in Jigoku Sensei Nube with Yuri***



July 7, 2014 Hissatsu Shingotonin Special aired with Yuri as Ryusei

  * **July 7, 2014 Ryosuke begins filming Grasshopper***



July 19, 2014 Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo N (neo) aired (Ryosuke)

August 2, 2014 S3art Tour begins Osaka Hall

August 3, 2014 S3art Tour Osaka Hall

@August 2014 Ryosuke begins filming of Assassination Classroom

August 17, 2014 S3art Tour (2 shows) Marine Messe Fukuoka

September 3, 2014 “Weekender” single released (through the night?) (asu e no YELL)

September 20-21, 2014 S3art Tour (3 shows) Shizuoka Ecopa Arena

October 11, 2014 Jigoku Sensei Nube airs with Yuri as Kurita Makoto

October 11-13, 2014 (5 shows) S3art Tour Yokohama Arena

@October 2014 recording JUMPing Car album

December 6, 2014 Ryosuke’s guest appearance on Jigoku Sensei Nube as Zekki airs

December 13, 2014 last show airs from Jigoku Sensei Nube airs (Yuri)

  * **December 29, 2014 Special episode of Itadaki High Jump airs featuring–part 1: challenge from KanJani8’s Tadayoshi Okura: Explosive Power – Run 50m immediately after being woken up and part 2: challenge from Kayoko Okubo: Sweaty idol appeal – Work together to beat the 5km world record of running 5 km through treadmill***



* * *

##  **2015**

* * *

  * **December 31, 2014/January 1, 2015 Me & You (proposal–this is being rewritten at the moment to fit the timeline properly)***



@January 2015 filming Koro Sensations  _ **(*nr)**_

  * **Jan 13, 2015 1 year anniversary (discussion about government’s plans, what it means to them, decision made “someday soon”)***



_February 2015, the district of Shibuya (in Tokyo) announced plans for a procedure of the recognition of same-sex couples for situations such as hospital visits and shared renting of apartments. This procedure would allow couples to get a “proof of partnership” paper, which is not based in Japanese law, but can help in, for instance, getting access to a partner who is ill and in the hospital._

  * **February 14, 2015***



February 18, 2015 S3ART tour DVD released

  * **February 27, 2015 filming Chau#***



@March 2015 rehearsals for JUMPing CARnival tour begin

March 21, 2015 Assassination Classroom released (Ryosuke)

March 15, 2015 Koro Sensations released

@April, 2015 record

April 29, 2015 Chau# (我 I Need You) single released

June 11, 2015 Yuri featured in Itadaki High Jump episode with Yuya and Hikaru where they try to help a child get over their aversion to paprika in a dream world, Ryosuke is featured with Keito, Kota, and Kei in a segment to revamp a local superhero show

  * **July 8, 2015 Itadaki High Jump first episode (Ep 1) airs featuring Ryosuke (with Kei) as a “father” for a day for a girl who grew up without one***



July 22, 2015 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 3) Yuri, Yuya, and Hikaru try to help a child get over their aversion to the family dogs in a dream world

  * **June 24, 2015 JUMPing CAR album released (Pet Shop Love Motion, 3.14)***



July 25, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour begins (Sekisui House Super Arena, Miyagi)

July 26, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (Sekisui House Super Arena, Miyagi)

July 29, 2015 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 4) with Ryosuke, Kota, and Daiki replicating a traditonial dish for a homesick Angolan using Japanese ingredients

July 31-August 2, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (5 shows) Osakajo Hall

August 5, 2015 Yuri, Kei, Yuya, and Hikaru are featured in Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 5/6) to help Utsunomiya Zoo practice for an escaped animal crisis

@August 2015 filmed Kimi Attraction

@August 2015 Yuri filmed Hissatsu Shigotonin Special

August 5-6, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (Marine Messe Fukuoka)

August 12, 2015 Yuri, Kei, Yuya, and Hikaru are featured in Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 5/6) to help Utsunomiya Zoo practice for an escaped animal crisis  

August 12-13, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (Hiroshima Green Arena)

August 18-19, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (3 shows) Nagoya – NGK Hall

  * **August 19, 2015 Yuri and Keito in Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 7) where they believe they are trying to discover a new species of ant–but really Kota is sending them to known haunted spaces with a medium to check their response ***


  * **August 22, 2015 Okaasan, Ore Wa Daijoubu airs (Ryosuke)***



September 12, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (Hokkaido – North Sea)

@September 2015 filming for Gold Medal Man begins @Yuri as Senichi Akita

  * **October 1, 2015 Application to Shibuya government ***



October 9-12, 2015 JUMPing CARnival Tour (7 shows) Yokohama Arena

October 15, 2015 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 11) bowling episode with all members

October 21, 2015 Kimi Attraction (ChikuTaku) single released

  * **@end of October 2015 (others in Nov) certification in Shibuya***



@November Ryosuke begins filming Assassination Classroom: Graduation

  * **November 4 & 11 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 13/14) airs featuring Daiki, Yuri, Ryosuke, & Hikaru in the first Haikaropa Dekamori–eating a giant portion of food to find the best calorie to price ratio***



November 9, 2015 Rysouke’s Grasshopper Premieres

November 9, 2015 Hissatsu Shigotonin Special airs with Yuri as Ryusei

November 25 & December 12, 2015 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 16/17) Solving issues in studio

December 16, 2015 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 19) members share what secretly bugs them about one another

December 23, 2015 Ryosuke @ 24Hr TV: Ryohei @ Okaason Ore wa Daijoubu released on DVD

  * **December 30, 2015 Ryosuke & Kota in Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 20) where they find the scariest suspension bridge in Yamagata***



* * *

##  **2016**

* * *

Dec 31-January 1, 2016 JUMPing CAR Countdown @ Kyocera Dome (youngest group from JE to hold their own countdown–broadcast part live to Johnny’s Countdown Concert)

@January filmed Sayonara Sensation

  * **January 13, 2016 2 year Anniversary (no longer celebrated as primary anniversary)***



January 13, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 21) Yuya and Ryosuke catch deep sea fish to see if they’d be suitable for sushi

@February 2016 filmed Maji Sunshine

@February 2016 record “Dear.” album

February 10, 2016 JUMPing CAR Tour DVD released

February 10, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 25) Yuri and Daiki look for the biggest dog in Chiba

  * **February 14, 2016 1 Year Anniversary***



February 17 & 24, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 26/27) Kei, Yuto, and Ryosuke determine the scariest thrill ride from Nagashima Spa Land vs Fuji-Q Highland

March 4, 2016 Ryosuke Newcomer of the Year @ 39th Japan Academy Awards Ceremony (Assassination Classroom) @Grand Prince Hotel New Takanawa in Tokyo ( * )

  * **March 5, 2016 Ryosuke filmed Onee Episode for SK***



March 16, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 30) Yuri, Kei and Ryosuke try various methods of cheating to beat Reversi and Billiards world champions

March 23, 2016 Sayonara Sensation Released

March 25, 2016 Assassination Classroom: Graduation premiere (Ryosuke)

  * **@April 2016 film “Masquerade” video***



April 20, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 32) Keito, Yuya, & Ryosuke help out at Sumida Aquarium

  * **April 27, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 33) Yuri, Yuto, and Keito try to help a child get over their aversion to tomatoes in a dream world***



May 4, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 34) Yuya, Kota, and Ryosuke try various methods of cheating to beat quiz and Shogi masters

May 11, 2016 Maji SUNSHINE (Eve, Party Monster) released

May 11, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 35) Daiki, Yuri, & Ryosuke investigate different spots viewers have heard mysterious stories about

May 24, 2016 @Ryosuke announced as Ed in FMA

  * **May 25, 2016 Ryosuke Rookie Actor of the Year @ Japan Movie Critics Award in Tokyo (Grasshopper)***



@June 2016 Yuri films Samurai Hustle Returns

  * **@June 2016 Ryosuke begins filming FMA in Italy***



June 9, 2016 Little Tokyo Life, Yuri & Kota

June 23, 2016 Little Tokyo Life, Ryosuke & Yuto

June 1, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 38) Yuri, Yuto, & Keito try ot help a bicultural child get over their aversion to steak in a dream world

  * **June 8, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 39) Daiki, Yuto, Hikaru, & Ryosuke try to find a way to make wedding traditions more exciting***



June 15, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 40) Daiki & Yuri look for the biggest dog in Kanagawa

June 22, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 41) Yuya, Kota, & Ryosuke try various methods of cheating to beat Karuta and Street Fighter champions

  * **June 29 & July 7, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 42/43) Yuri, Kei, Yuto, & Ryosuke participate in Haikaropa Dekamori (Summer Edition) featuring Nakayama Yuma***



@July 2016 Yuri films Hissatsu Shingotonin Special

July 13, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 44) Yuri, Kei, & Hikaru help a child learn to jump rope by pretending to be a fairy from another world

July 21, 2016 Little Tokyo Life, Yuri & Kota

July 23-24, 2016 FNS 27 HR TV (features IHJ and Kisumai Busaiku collaboration special) Itadaki High Jump episode (Special #5)

July 27, 2016 “Dear.” album released

July 27, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 46) Yuya, Kota, & Ryosuke try various methods of cheating to beat a Puyo Puyo Tetris champion

  * [**July 28-31, 2016 First DEAR. concerts Osaka-jo Hall (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)


  * **@August 2016 record “Fantastic Time” single***



August 3, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 47) Yuri, Daiki, & Hikaru try various methods of cheating to beat typing and goldfish scooping champions

August 7, 2016 Ryosuke’s Onee Episode of SK airs

  * [**August 12-14, 2016 DEAR. concerts, Yokohama Arena (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)



August 20, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Summer Vacation) Review past episodes related to children

  * [**August 20-21, 2016 DEAR. concerts, Marine Messe Fukuoka (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)



August 26, 2016 Ryosuke’s filming for FMA finishes

  * [**August 27-28, 2016 DEAR. concerts, Sekisui Heim Super Arena (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)



@September, 2016 film “Fantastic Time” video

  * **@September, 2016 Ryosuke begins filming Cain & Abel***



September 1, 2016 Little Tokyo Life, Yuri & Daiki

September 7 & 14, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 52/53) members solve issues in studio

September 10, 2016 Samurai Hustle Returns released (w/Yuri)

  * [**September 17-18 , 2016 DEAR. concert, Hokkaido Prefectural Sports Center (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)



September 25, 2016 Hissatsu Shigotonin Special airs with Yuri as Ryusei

@October record “Give Me Love” & “Over The Top” single songs

  * [**October 1-2, 2016 DEAR. concerts, Hiroshima Green Arena (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)


  * **[October 7-10, 2016 DEAR. concerts, Yokohama Arena (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)**



October 17, 2016 Cain & Abel Airs (Ryosuke)

October 19, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 55) Yuya, Kota, & Ryosuke try various methods of cheating to beat darts and Gomoku champions

October 22, 2016 Gold Medal Man released @Yuri as Senichi Akita

October 26, 2016 “Fantastic Time” single released (Never Let You Go)

October 27, 2016 Little Tokyo Life, Ryosuke & Hikaru

October 29, 2016 Buzz Rhythm

@November film “Give Me Love” video

  * **[November 2-3, 2016 DEAR. concert, Nippon Gaishi Hall (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690)**



November 9 & 16 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 58/59) Daiki, Yuri, Kei, & Yuto find exciting ways to take selfies to get the most likes

  * **[November 15, 2016 – Post-tour meeting (end of Dear. when reveal with BEST takes place) (Posted: _DEAR. Party Monster x29_ ) ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/24981690) *relationship status: @3 years living together, married for almost 2**



November 23, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 60) Yuri, Yuto, & Kota help a child ride a bicycle by pretending to be a fairy from another world

November 27, 2016 School Kakumei Yamada says sorry to a fan

November 30, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 61) Yuya, Kota, & Ryosuke try various methods of cheating to beat parking & calculator champions

@December 2016 film “Over The Top” Video

December 1, 2016 VS Arashi, Cain & Abel cast

December 2, 2016 –Ryosuke cast in Miracles of the Namiya General Store

December 7, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 62) members try various methods of cheating to beat soccer dribbling & tug of war champions

December 8, 2016 Little Tokyo Life, Kei & Yuri

December 14, 2016 “Give Me Love” (Glorious, Ashita Hallelujah, Baby I Love You) single released

  * **December 14, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 63) Yuri, Kei “support” Ryosuke as he faces his fear of natto, frogs, and haunted houses to win the chance to join a segment that helps children***



December 24, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode preview of special episode

  * **December 29, 2016 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 64) Kei, Yuto, & Ryosuke help a child learn to ride a bicycle by pretending to be a fairy from another world***



##  **2017**

  * **December 31, 2016-January 1, 2017 DEAR Countdown***



@January 2017 Ryosuke begins filming of Miracles of the Namiya General Store

February 1, 2017 Little Tokyo Life, Yuya & Yuri

  * **February 1 & 8, 2017 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 68/69) Valentine/Winter Haikaropa: Heavyweight Sweets Party! featuring: Yuto aka Yuuko onee-chan, Yuri aka Yuu-chan (aka Hirose Suzu-chan), Hikaru aka Mizuki-chan, & Yuya aka Yuuko Mama***


  * **February 14, 2017 2 Year Anniversary (the gift)***



February 15, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 70) Daiki, Yuya, & Ryosuke try a luxurious hotel, limo & food with only 1000 yen to spend

February 15, 2017 Little Tokyo Life, Yuya & Yuri

February 22, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 71) Daiki, Yuri, and Hikaru help a child learn to flip over a horizontal bar by pretending to be a fairy from another world

February 22, 2017 “Over the Top” single released (PARTY!!, Our Days, Funky Time, Vanilla Ice)

February 24, 2017 Buzz Rhythm

  * **@March compose “H.Our Time”***



March 1, 2017 Little Tokyo Life (:)

  * **March 8, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 73) all members battle for a chance to eat Ryosuke’s home cooked meal***



@April 2017 record “I/O” & “H.Our Time”

April 12, 26, May 3, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 75/76/77) Koredore Donpishana: ask questions to guess identity

@May 2017 Yuri filming Kids on the Slope (Kaoru Nishimi) (in Nagasaki)

  * **May 10, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 78) Yuri, Yuto, and Ryosuke help a girl cook for her father to show her gratitude and ask him to trust her to live on her own***


  * **June 18, 2017 School Kakumei Class President Election***



June 14, 21, & 28, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 83/84/85) Koredore Donpishana: ask questions to guess identity

July 1, 2017 Mumon: The Land of Stealth released @Yuri as Nobukatsu Oda (starring with Satoshi Ohno lol)

  * **July 5, 2017 _Precious Girl / Are You There?_ single released (Smile in Summer, Sweet Liar, Start Days, Shakunetsu no Yume)***



July 5, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 86) Yuya, Kota, and Ryosuke help support an aspiring K-1 champion on his journey

  * **July 9, 2017 School Kakumei Yamada President PV Making***



July 19 & 26, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 87/88) all members solve issues in studio

July 26, 2017 “Hey! Say! JUMP 2007-2017 I/O” compilation album released

July 27, 2017 VS Arashi, Hey! Say! JUMP appear

August 2 & 9, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 89/90) Koredore Donpishana: ask questions to guess identity

  * **August 11-12, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***



August 16, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 91) Yuya gives a boy advice on basketball layup while Ryosuke gives advice

  * **August 16-17, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***


  * **August 19-20, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***


  * **August 25-27, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***



August 30, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 93) Yuto helps a boy learn to play catch with Yuri giving advice

  * **September 9-10, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***



September 13, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 95) members and issues during problem solving

  * **September 15-18, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***



September 23, 2017 The Miracles of the Namiya General Store premiere

  * **September 20-October 1, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***


  * **[October 1, 2017 Yuri flies to Canada for World Gymnastic’s Championships from October 2–October 8, at the Olympic Stadium in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. (Posted: _Canada_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/31409262)**


  * **October 8, 2017 School Kakumei Yamada “Destroyer of Relationships”***


  * **October 9, 2017 The Red Bow***


  * **October 14-15, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Tour***


  * **@October 15-20, 2017 HSJ watches FMA together ( * picture shown on November 2, 2017 by Inoo-chan)***


  * **October 21, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 97) Yuri and Ryosuke help a child overcome their fear of going to the bathroom by pretending to be an invisible friend***


  * [**October 22, 2017 Ryosuke arrives home to a napping Yuri (Posted: _Your Fault_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378127)


  * **October 25, 2017 FMA is opening film of the 30th Tokyo International Film Festival, films world premiere, first time in 10 years a Japanese film opened the festival, and also the first time in history for a Japanese manga-based film: red carpet***



November 2, 2017 Inoo-chan shows selfie of Jump watching screening of FMA together on his morning program

November 8, 2017 Little Tokyo Life 10th Anniversary Special

  * **November 11, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 100) Yuri, Kei, Hikaru and Ryosuke help a bride’s parents express their feelings by creating a video to be played at the reception***


  * **November 14, 2017 “Ultra JUMP Party ~ shin no Hey! Say! JUMP wa oreda!!” @Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium (same venue as Vollyball World Cup 2007)***



November 18, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 101) Daiki and Yuri help a child learn to ride a bicycle by pretending to be a fairy from another world

November 19, 2017 Yamada appears on Gyouretsu Dekiru Houritsu Soundajo with Honda Tsubasa

  * [**November 22, 2017 Yama-chan and Chii-chan express themselves in writing (Posted: _Love Letters_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378073)



November 28, 2017 Best Artist 2017, “White Love”   

November 30, 2017 VS Arashi, Full Metal Alchemist cast

December 1, 2017 “Fullmetal Alchemist” released

  * **December 1, 2017 The boys host a family dinner at their home (Posted: _Resident Expert_ )**



December 2, 2017 Itadaki High Jump episode (Ep 103) Yuto and Yuri help a child learn to ride a bicycle by pretending to be a fairy from another world

December 8-10, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Dome Tour

December 20, 2016  _White Love_  single released, theme song of the movie “Miseinen Dakedo Kodomo Janai”  

December 23, 2017  _Miseinen dakedo Kodomo ja Nai_  Yuri as Isuzu Ebina

December 23-24, 2017 I/Oth Anniversary Dome Tour

December 29, 2017-January 1, 2018 I/Oth Anniversary Dome Tour

December 31, 2017 Appearane @68th NHK Kouhaku Utagassen

##  **2018**

  * **January 1, 2018 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 106) Daiki, Hikaru, and Yuya try to find Blue Grotto lookalike, Yuto, Yuri, Kota, and Keito try to find Uyuni Salts flats look alike, Ryosuke makes a welcome home meal for them all***



January 13th 2018 Momikeshite Fuyu: Wagaya no Mondai Nakatta Koto ni airs

January 20, 2018 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 107) problems the members had with New Years episode, Ryosuke cooking

January 27, 2018 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 108) Ryosuke, Kei, and Kota participate in Haikaropa Dekamori in Chofu, Tokyo

February 10, 2018 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 110) Ryosuke, Yuri, and Kei getting recipes from local farmers

February 12, 2018 Ryosuke wins Best Newcomer Actor at 91st Kinema Junpo Awards ceremony for The Miracles of the Namiya General Store & Fullmetal Alchemist (Bunkyo Civic Hall)

February 14, 2018  _Mae wo Muke_  single released

February 16, 2018 Buzz Rhythm

March 10 & 17, 2018 Itadaki High Jump (Ep 114/115) All members solving issues in studio

  * [**June 1, 2018 Yuri, Keito, and Yuto prank Yama-chan while he’s in the shower (Posted: _You Have To Sleep Sometime_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378202)


  * [**June 4, 2018 Yama-chan seeks retribution in the form of a pillow-fight (Posted: _Coordinated_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378202)



June 27, 2018  _I/Oth Anniversary Tour_  DVD Released (includes bonus  _JUMPing CARnival Countdown 2015-16_ ,  _DEAR. Countdown 2016-17_ , and  _Making of I/O_  DVDs)

  * **[July 27, 2018 Jump Perform "Cosmic Human" and Yuri reacts to Yama-chan's white pants ;oP (Posted: _Buzz Rhythm_ )](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378331)**


  * [**@August 2018 Jump films Itadaki camping episode (Posted: _Inside The Tent_ )**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188737/chapters/37378403)



* * *

Still need to place and finish:

Commercials, Precious Girl, vs Arashi, promo appearances, ect.

“Stars In Heaven” with Ryosuke Yamada (the song is also known as “Future Earth” or “Mirai no Chikyu ni Mukatte”)

School Kakumei! (スクール革命!) (Hikaru Yaotome, Ryosuke Yamada, Yuri Chinen)

Shōnen Club (ザ少年倶楽部 Za Shōnen Kurabu) (All members)

Little Tokyo Life (リトルトーキョーライフ) (All members, alternates with Johnny’s WEST)

Itadaki High JUMP (いただきハイジャンプ) (All members) – Their own show.

Hirunandesu! (ヒルナンデス！) (Hikaru Yaotome, Daiki Arioka)

Meringue no Kimochi (メレンゲのきもち) (Kei Inoo)

Mezamashi TV (めざましテレビ) (Kei Inoo)

Commercials

Hey! Say! JUMP

Wii Sports

Vermont Curry

Bourbon Popcorn

KOSE COSMEPORT

Hey! Say! BEST

Ozack

Wii Sports

Hey! Say! 7

Wii Sports

Lotte Ghana

Lotte Fruitio

Bourbon Jelly Series

Bourbon Almondrush

Radio

Monday~Friday—22:00~22:30-Hey! Say! 7 Ultra Power (Hey! Say! 7)

Starting 4/9~4/13–22:00~22:30-Hey! Say! 7 Ultra Power (Ryosuke Yamada)

Every Friday-24:30~24:57-JUMP da Babe!(JUMP da ベイベー！) @ bayfm (Yuya Takaki & Daiki Arioka)

Every Saturday-20:05~20:55-Radirer Saturday @ NHK Radio 1 (Kei Inoo & Hikaru Yaotome)

Every Thursday-16:00~17:46-Music Bit @ FM Oh! (Yuya Takaki)

Yuri:

Samurai Hustle (2014)

Samurai Hustle Returns (2016)

Gold Medal Man (2016) as Akita Senichi

Shinobi no Kuni (2017) as Oda Nobukatsu

Miseinen dakedo Kodomojanai (2017) as Isuzu Ebina

Kids on the Slope (2018) as Kaoru Nishimi

Sprout (NTV, 2012) as Narahashi Sōhei[12]

Yorozu Uranaidokoro Onmyōya e Yōkoso (Fuji TV, 2013) as Shunta Sawazaki

Hissatsu Shigotonin 2014″ (TV Asahi, 2014) as Ryū[13]

Jigoku Sensei Nube (NTV, 2014) as Kurita Makoto[14]

Hissatsu Shigotonin 2015 (TV Asahi, 2015) as Ryū[15]

Hissatsu shigotonin 2016 (9/25) as Ryu

Hissatsu shigotonin 2018 as Ryu

 


	2. .5 Halloween Candy (children)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt request for Yamachii fighting over Halloween candy when they were children

 

The two boys had dumped their bags full of candy on the floor, having agreed before they left to go trick-or-treating that they would divide the goodies up evenly. They both squealed over all of the treats in the pile of candy.

"That has to be like fifty pounds of candy!" Ryosuke cried out, running his fingers through it.

"I know!" Yuri agreed, his hands moving through the pile, his fingers wide as they slid through all the treats.

They began dividing the candy up after they'd dreamed of what it might be like to have a swimming pool full of candy. Deciding that it probably wouldn't be as much fun as it sounded as it would be very hard and heavy.

They took all of the candy that matched and divided it evenly, going bit by bit to sort it out fairly, getting down to about twenty pieces of assorted candies, and the tension in the air was palatable as they both realized that there was only one of the small boxes that contained chocolate covered strawberries from the Yamada's neighbor.

Ryosuke's eyes widened, looking up at Yuri, "Where's yours?"

Yuri stared at the treat, then tilted his head, his eyes narrowing as he looked up at Ryosuke, "Where's my what?"

"Your chocolate strawberry," Ryosuke repeated, "Where's yours?"

"That is mine," Yuri stated, pointing to the boxed berry.

"No, that one is mine," Ryosuke reached forward to pick up the box, but Yuri's hand snapped out slapping his hand causing him to squeal and draw his hand back to his chest.

"That is not yours," Yuri repeated, "I remember specifically getting one in my bag!"

Ryosuke frowned, "I know I got one too, and I didn't take mine out of the bag, what did you do with yours?"

Yuri didn't like the way Ryosuke was looking at him, like he was misleading him or making something up, his voice level and steady, "I told you, that one is mine. I dumped it out with the rest of my candy."

Ryosuke huffed, leaning forward, his hands landing on the floor, "And I told you, that one is mine! I never took mine out of the bag until we just dumped the candy!"

Ryosuke might have been able to predict many things, certainly, he felt at this stage he knew Yuri fairly well, but what he wasn't prepared for was the way that Yuri came across the small pile of candy like a spider monkey, slamming into him, and throwing him backward as he yelled for him to get off of him.

Yuri was sitting on his chest, "Don't you lie! I know that is my berry! What did you do with yours!?"

"Get off me, Yuri!" Rysouke hissed, "That is my berry, I didn't do ANYTHING with my berry except put it in the pile of candy like we'd agreed! I pulled it out and sat it there carefully."

Yuri was so angry, "I didn't do anything with mine! That one IS mine!"

"It's not yours!" Ryosuke huffed, shoving Yuri's chest, and had he not grabbed onto Ryosuke's pirate shirt he would have went tumbling backward, "Get off me you jerk!"

"Not until you admit you hid your strawberry!"

"I what?!" Ryosuke was livid, "I never did any such thing but maybe I should check YOUR pockets!"

Ryosuke's hands started patting Yuri's legs and chest, not actually having any pockets in his costume, he slapped at Ryosuke's hands, and then huffed, frowning, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout, "That's my candy."

Ryosuke stared at him, frowning, and then sighed, closing his eyes. growling, then he opened them, "Fine, take it, it's yours, just get off of me."

Yuri scrambled off of him, grabbing the berry as he moved past the pile to put it with his candy. He sat back down but things didn't feel the same now, the fun atmosphere felt cold now, and he looked down, sad as he watched Ryosuke push the last few pieces of candy over to him.

He wanted to stop him but didn't know how to say it, and he couldn't help the way it felt like tears were swelling up inside of him as he watched Ryosuke open his bag and begin to carefully set his candy inside of it.

"Everything's fine," Ryosuke murmured, his eyes lifting to look at Yuri who was clearly wearing his feelings on his sleeves, "Stop being worried, everything's fine, I'm sorry–the candy isn't important, okay?"

Yuri took a shuddering breath, trying to stem the tears that were threatening to flow, "Okay."

He looked down, blinking as a tear fell, reaching over to drag his bag over to him and Ryosuke's hand shot out to grab his wrist, causing him to look up at him, another tear falling, "I want you to have it, Yuri. It's okay."

Yuri studied Ryosuke and could find no lie in his words, nodding as he gestured for him to finish putting his candy in his bag. He opened his bag, widening the loop so he could get it wide enough to set the treats in and then his breath caught in his chest, as he felt something left in the bag.

_Please, no. Please, please, no._

He reached into the bag, groaning when he felt the sharp points of the corner of the box that held the berry in it. He clenched his eyes shut, wondering if he couldn't just hide it, just not say anything but then he thought of what Ryosuke had just done...and he knew he couldn't do that to him.

"Yama-chan?"

"Hmm?" 

Yuri's eyes popped open, finding Ryosuke looking at him curiously. He lifted the box out of his bag slowly, and wasn't surprised when Ryosuke's eyes widened, his mouth popping open for a moment before he could school himself.

Ryosuke cleared his throat, and then looked down, and Yuri's voice shook when spoke, "I'm sorry, Yama-chan–it was in my bag the whole time."

Ryosuke looked up at Yuri, watching a tear slide down his cheek, and then he shuffled forward, his hand reaching past Yuri to grab the other box that held the berry. He sat on his heels in front of Yuri, who reached forward, pressing the box with the berry into Ryosuke's tummy, "Take it. Take them both."

"Hey," Ryosuke grabbed Yuri's wrist, forcing his hand back, "Stop."

Yuri bent over, crying softly, "I was so selfish, I'm sorry!"

Ryosuke took the berry from his hand, setting it beside the other one as he drew Yuri into a hug, "It's fine, everything is fine. I'm not mad at you, it's fine, I want you to have them."

Ryosuke laughed lightly, "I just...I didn't know you even liked chocolate covered strawberries."

Yuri sobbed, his breath shaking as he spoke, "I don't. Not really."

"Wh-what?" Ryosuke was so confused, "Why then?"

Yuri pulled back and Ryosuke released him, he scrubbed his eyes trying to clear the tears from them, "I just...they remind me of you."

Ryosuke considered this confession carefully, "But...it would go bad if you didn't eat it."

"I was going to eat it."

"But...you don't like them?"

"No."

"Then...why were you going to eat it?"

Yuri was exasperated, "I told you! They remind me of you!"

He shook his head, knowing that Ryosuke couldn't understand how his mind worked, or why he saw things the way he did, "I just wanted to know what you liked, that's...why?"

"I see."

Ryosuke stood up, "I'll be right back."

Yuri didn't say anything, just watched as Ryosuke left the room, and then he reached over to pick up the two boxes with berries, he unwrapped the ribbons, then carefully fashioned it into a bow that held the two berries together.

It was only a few moments after he'd finished his gift for Ryosuke that he walked back into the room. He moved quickly over to sit down in front of Yuri, holding his hands behind his back. His eyes moved down to the two berries now fixed into a single bundle that Yuri pushed forward toward him, and he smiled, his eyes soft when he looked up at his friend.

He brought his hands forward in front of him, and Yuri's eyes widened as he took each of his hands which held a boxed berry in the palm.

"Where'd you get those!?"

"I went next door and asked if I could please have two more, and they were happy to allow me to have them."

He sat the boxes down, and then he undid the ribbon, quickly fashioning a new design the held the two berries together and then he lifted it, admiring his handiwork, "There."

"For you," he grinned, holding the berries out to Yuri.

When Yuri took the berries from his hand he lifted the boxes that Yuri had given him, smiling at how carefully he'd put them together to make sure there was enough ribbon left to put a bow.

"Thank you, Yama-chan," Yuri whispered, putting the berries carefully in his bag.

"It's okay, Chii-chan," Ryosuke smiled at the boy, always wanting to make him happy, "That's what friends are for."

Yuri looked up at him, smiling brightly, and then nodded, because he knew–at least when it came to Ryosuke, that was most certainly what friends were for.

 


	3. One Day (2008-2010 Growing Up, 2013 Coming of Age Ceremony Planning–includes all 4 members of 7)

 

 

##  **2008**

* * *

It was yet another late night after a concert, in a strange town, in a cold hotel room bed, and Yuri had climbed over into Ryosuke’s bed, nestling down in the covers there, not liking to feel alone, his voice soft in the darkness, “One day we will be able to do lots of things, won’t we?”

“Sure,” Ryosuke agree sleepily, “Lots of things, Chii-chan.”

“Like we can buy cars, and drive them, and we can buy our own houses, and all kinds of things.”

“Yep.”

“Adults can do lots of things that kids can’t do…”

“That’s true,” Ryosuke murmured, rolling over to face the direction Yuri was laying, his body already turned toward Ryosuke’s.

“I think it’s exciting to think about it, I’ve never been to one of the ceremonies, have you?”

“Nope,” Ryosuke admitted.

“I think it’s probably perfect.”

“I guess,” Ryosuke yawned loudly.

“Are you excited?”

“For what?”

“To become an adult?”

“I guess so,” Ryosuke wasn’t entirely sure, he didn’t mind being young and letting other people handle all the boring details in reality, but maybe being an adult has some good points, he just hadn’t really considered it—though it was clear enough that Yuri had most certainly done so, “I will be glad to become an adult with you.”

Yuri smiled broadly, “Me, too.”

It didn’t take long for Ryosuke to drift off to sleep, and Yuri watched him carefully, his mind going through all of the thoughts about what his future might look like. How it might be the day they became adults, and maybe that would mean they could make their own choices—and maybe Ryosuke would feel the same as he did—finding it necessary to have him in his life.

Not yet sure what that meant, but positive that Ryosuke was as vital to his life as the air he breathed. Maybe he’d be the same to him one day.

_Maybe._

_I’ll pray hard for it._

_It seems to me that the prayers on that day—with so many voices, surely those prayers are heard loudest of all._

_Yes, I’ll pray hard on that day that Yama-chan will feel the same way I do._

_I don’t really know what it is, this feeling, but I just know I want him with me always._

* * *

##  **2009**

* * *

“Yama-chan?” Yuri whispered, and Ryosuke rolled over, groaning, “What Chii-chan?”

“I had a bad dream,” he whispered, his voice wet with tears.

Ryosuke tried to open his eyes, the burning causing him to clench them shut, “C’mere.”

He shifted in the bed, scooting backward, lifting the cover so Yuri could climb in with him.

Yuri scooted over curling up into Ryosuke’s embrace, his arms wrapping around him, his hands stroking his back softly, “You’re okay, it wasn’t real.”

“It felt real,” Yuri shuddered, not willing to close his eyes out of fear he’d see the images again. Bodies broken and mangled, beyond recognition–but he’d survived the crash and no one else had. He knew who was who, and he knew who was next to him. He whimpered at the thought, pressing his face into Ryosuke’s chest.

“I’ve got you,” Ryosuke whispered softly, pulling his head against him with his hand, holding him there, “You’re okay, nothing can hurt you now.”

“O-okay,” Yuri whispered, trying to believe it. 

Ryosuke started to sing softly, a lullaby that Yuri knew from when he was very young, and he was surprised that Ryosuke remembered something like that, but his voice was like an angel in the room with him, bathing him in security and comfort, and somehow he felt himself drifting off to sleep, safe there in Ryosuke’s arms with the sound of his voice ushering him to much gentler dreams.

He wanted to answer, to thank him, to say something but couldn’t–just smiled as he fell into the darkness at the sound of Ryosuke’s voice over his head.

“I will always take care of you.”

 

* * *

##  **2010**

* * *

The hotel was quiet, and Yuri had spent an extraordinary amount of time staring at Ryosuke while he slept. His mind had been very active lately in creating scenario after scenario of their future. He’d become increasingly agitated as a result, since their press managers kept leaking stories about Ryosuke with actresses and other singers, just to keep the fandom stirred up.

_Well, it keeps me stirred up too._

_I hate it. I don’t want to think about it._

Yuri sighed, frowning deeply as his eyes struggled to memorize Ryosuke’s contented face in sleep.

_One day someone else will see this vision._

_It’s just a matter of time, surely the moment he will find a girl and fall in love is coming—I should prepare myself._

_I don’t even know where to start, how to begin to harden my heart to that kind of pain._

His hand shifted, moving up to rest on his chest where it felt to him that even the thought was causing it to restrict and clench in pain.

_I might not be able to get over it. I don’t know how I will survive it._

Yuri’s eyes were tender on Ryosuke’s form and he closed them, listening to the soft breathing from the boy next to him, the gentle cadence like the rhythm to the universe’s eternal song.

_I love him so much. I don’t know how to be any different._

_I’ll support him, I love him enough to want him to be happy, don’t I?_

_Can I be that kind of person?_

_Maybe…I guess…but…no, not really, I want him to myself._

_I really am a spoiled brat._

_If I can’t have him, if I can’t and he doesn’t care about me…and he falls in love?_

_I have to be happy for him, that’s how those things are done, isn’t it?_

_I know it is. I have to figure it out._

_Or…I need to make him see how much I care about him, how much I love him._

_Somehow._

_How can I do that?_

_How do people do that?_

_Falling in love seems so simple in stories and movies and things…like…the most natural thing in the world, but is that how it really is?_

_I don’t know…I’ve never seen people fall in love before._

_All I know is that I can’t not love him._

_I can’t stop thinking about him._

_I want to tell him everything first…and when I’m sad he’s the only thing that can make me happy._

_When I hear his voice, everything is better…and when he touches me, it feels like all of the universe falling into alignment…everything is right._

_He probably doesn’t feel that at all…I’m just…’Chii-chan’ to him, a cute little kid who is a mascot maybe…a cute thing to protect and take care of—but that’s not love, right?_

_No, love is like…electric…and fire…and sparks._

_Like I feel, this is love, but he’s never looked at me like that, he’s never seen me like that._

_I’m just cute and his little brother._

_I need to grow more._

_I need to show him I’m not just some cute little brother._

_I need him to see me, really see me._

His eyes popped open when Ryosuke mumbled in his sleep, a common occurrence, as Ryosuke tended to talk in his sleep, and he was always fascinated by the words he could make out, the idea that he was privileged to hear his unfiltered thoughts—usually words of activities and stresses, song lyrics and such.

“Yuri…”

Yuri’s eyes widened, his name falling off Ryosuke’s lips in a sigh, and his heart suddenly began to race, his hand moving to grip his own shirt, trying to ensure his heartbeat didn’t shake the bed, the very foundation of the earth, as it felt that loud and strong to him.

_He said my name._

To Yuri, surely, he knew it could be some residual left over from the concert—Ryosuke could be dreaming about anything in the world, but somehow, in Yuri’s mind, he couldn’t help but imagine that in that moment, maybe Ryosuke was thinking of him in a different way.

A way that would be like how he saw Ryosuke.

When Ryosuke shifted, speaking his name softly again, Yuri bit his lip, his breath caught in his throat because he’d heard his name spoken from him many, many times, but this was different, and all he could think was how beautiful it was, how melodic, how undeniably sexy it was to have Ryosuke a foot away from him, his hair tousled and his face soft with the peace of sleep, and his name a whisper from his beautiful lips.

_One day, when we’re adults, when it’s safe, and Johnny’s can’t tell me what to do anymore…I’m going to tell him._

_I’ll tell him the truth, and maybe he’ll feel the same way._

The plan he’d long been formulating, the one that included their Coming of Age ceremony, the prayers at the temple that he just knew in his heart would see to his confession being accepted…so many things to look forward to, and he believed in the idea that one day, when they were older, and the time was right, they’d be together, somehow, he just felt like it could happen.

_It’s a state of delusion I prefer to live in._

_It’s far better than the reality that says he will probably be engaged to a lovely young woman whom he loves and adores by then._

_Shut up. I’m dreaming here._

_Just saying._

_Shut up. Right now, he’s here…he’s with me. I still have him, he’s still mine now._

_That’s all I care about._

_One day, I still believe he’ll hear my heart and answer._

_I have to believe it._

_When we’re older, things will be simpler._

_I’ll help him see._

_See the truth._

It didn’t take long for Yuri’s imagination to run with the thought, all of the ways that scenario could play out and when he thought of the words he would use to confess, and then the image of Ryosuke kissing him flitted through his mind he couldn’t help but groan, his entire body feeling like it was being engulfed in flames as he opened his eyes to see Ryosuke there, his face so serene, his profile so beautiful, so perfect, and all he could think in that moment was how much he wanted to find out how soft his lips really were.

_What would they feel like?_

_Are they really as smooth and soft as I think?_

Yuri struggled with the desire to act out the fantasy playing in his mind, and then Ryosuke moved again, and he panicked, worried that he might reach out for him, like he so often did to drag him over to him, a thing that Yuri would normally encourage—but not now, not when here he was in the bed with him, with undeniable evidence of his attraction something that would be impossible for him to hide or explain away, and with that thought, he jumped, bolting out of the bed.

Ryosuke startled awake as the bed shook, opening his eyes to see Yuri scrambling out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Ryosuke whispered sleepily, his hand reaching out next to him, as if to grab Yuri and pull him back to him.

Yuri jumped, his head whipping around to look at Ryosuke, his eyes wide, “Nowhere! To…th-the bathroom! Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.”

_Weird._

Ryosuke blinked, his eyes blurry as he watched him scramble through the dark to the bathroom, then shook his head as he pulled the covers up over his head, burrowing down into the softness and falling almost immediately back to sleep.

* * *

##  **October 12, 2013**

* * *

“We should all match!” Yuri was excited over the thought, the discussion about their Coming of Age ceremony in the new year a highlight of their talks these days, pulling his knees up in the chair and leaning over the table, “What do you guys think?

“Did BEST wear matching outfits?” Keito wondered, looking around at the others.

“It really doesn’t matter if they did or didn’t,” Ryosuke reasoned, “The truth is, we can do what we want, it’s our ceremony, right?”

“True,” Keito nodded, glancing over at Yuto who had remained silent.

“What do you think, Yuto?”

“I agree,” he responded shaking his head, “I’m sorry, I’m preoccupied with some details on a shoot,” he shook his head, sitting his phone down on the table, “What shall we do then?”

Yuri held up a picture on his phone screen of a place there in Tokyo that created custom kimonos made in any design or pattern and the others leaned forward to look at the images as he slid through them.

They all glanced up when one of the managers came in, hopefully to give them their schedule for the next month.

“Boys!” the man nodded at them, sitting down a stack of folders, and then quickly giving them to the boys. He quickly went down a list of events and special arrangements for the next few weeks, and then snapped his folder closed, “Any questions?”

“No?” he nodded, “I’ll let you guys get back to whatever you were discussing then.”

“Aiko-san, what kind of kimono did you wear to your coming of age ceremony?” Yuri asked him curiously before he could leave.

“Oh, wow…that was a long time ago…”

“A reallllly long time ago,” Yuto laughed and then apologized for making a joke on the man’s behalf, especially since he wasn’t actually very old at all.

“I wore a traditional kuro mon-tsuki actually,” the manager responded, smiling at the memory, “Why?”

“We were deciding what to wear to ours,” Yuri answered with a smile on his face, though his expression froze when he saw that the manager’s eyes widened, and he looked around at the group of boys.

“What’s wrong?” Yuri asked, frowning, “Did I say something?”

“No…no…that is to say…” the manager took a deep breath, and then shook his head, “I guess no one has talked to you all about the Coming of Age ceremony then?”

“What?” Yuto sat up, glancing at the others, “What about it?”

“You have to understand,” the man stepped closer to the table, his fingertips resting there as if to hold himself up, “There’s a delicate balance between keeping you boys safe and doing as much as we can to ensure you live as normal of a life as possible.”

“What is  _that_  supposed to mean?” Ryosuke sat forward, his manner curt, his hands crossing his chest, already not liking the tone of this conversation and where it was going.

“It means—management has decided it was in the best interest of each of you, and that of the public interest to restrict your attendance of the Coming of Age ceremony,” the man’s eyes moved, but refused to lock on any of theirs.

“What!?” Yuri’s legs flew out, his palms slamming into the table’s surface, the chair crashing backwards, “Of course we’re attending our ceremony!  _Of course_ , we are!”

The manager shook his head, “I’m really sorry, I’ll send in the documentation on it—but there’s already been inquiries from people to the temples about the fact there are four of you at the same time, and there’s…it’s a mess. They looked at all of it and felt the best course of action was for you to not attend.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, you get someone in here right this minu—”

“Chii-chan,” Ryosuke’s voice was soft, his hand resting on Yuri’s on the edge of the table, and Yuri’s head turned, his eyes snapping to Ryosuke as he continued to speak, “It’s okay, it will be okay.”

“No! It won’t be oka—”

“Yuri!” Ryosuke didn’t shout, but his tone was enough to make Yuri frown, not liking this at all, especially not the fact that Ryosuke didn’t seem as upset as he was—since he couldn’t count the number of nights they’d fallen asleep talking about how amazing it was going to be that day, his eyes softened when Ryosuke squeezed his hand, “Yuri, it will be okay, trust me.”

Yuri stared at Ryosuke for a moment, whatever he finally saw there enough to convince him to let Ryosuke handle it, stomping across the room and throwing himself dramatically down on the couch, face down into a pillow.

Ryosuke watched him and then looked back at the manager, “This was  _clearly_  not handled properly, and I think while the whole of Johnny’s was discussing our Coming of Age ceremony, well, I think it might have been wisdom to  _include the four of us_  in the dialogue.”

The manager twisted his hands, “I wasn’t a part of the discussion, I didn’t have anything to do with it, I’m sorry.”

“Well, here’s the thing— _how_  do they intend to  _reinforce_  this edict that we can’t attend one of the most important ceremonies of our lives?”

The man swallowed thickly, his eyes apologetic, “I believe they expect you to obey them without question.”

“I see,” Ryosuke narrowed his eyes, “We’re meant to  _do as we’re told_.”

“In a manner of speaking,” the manager affirmed, clearing his throat, “I have another meeting—but I’ll make sure to send in the proper information to you, I’ll see to it immediately.”

“ _You do that_ ,” Ryosuke’s voice was dismissive, somehow scalding and arrogant in it’s tone as he nodded, waving the man off as he stood up, the chair making a loud screeching sound as he walked away, rudely to be sure, from the manager to check on Yuri.

He frowned when the door closed and Yuto hissed at him from across the room, “Yamada! You can’t talk to management like that!”

Ryosuke stood still, turning to look straight into Yuto’s eyes, “I certainly can when they’re actively disrespecting us, they can’t make these kinds of choices for us! God! I mean we’re discussing our Coming of Age ceremony where we’re officially  _adults_ for God’s sake!” Ryosuke snapped, knowing he would have to apologize to the manager and set things right but too irritated to consider doing so at the moment.

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Yuri lifted his head from the couch, tears in his eyes, to stare at Yuto, “He asked questions, ones that I know we were  _all_  thinking, so don’t get mad at him just because you weren’t brave enough to call them out on this—this… _stupid decision_!”

“Okay, okay…everyone needs to take a deep breath,” Keito whispered, standing up and shrugging as he moved around the table to get between the boys, his hand reaching out to rest on Yuto’s shoulder, shaking his head when Yuri growled loudly in frustration, burying his head back in the pillow “We all care about this, obviously, and we all are fully aware that Johnny’s doesn’t take no for an answer, so we might as well accept that we won’t be a part of the ceremony.”

“That sucks,” Yuto crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair, frowning deeply, “You’re right though…they won’t change their minds.”

Before they could continue their talk, the door opened, and one of the clerks from down the hall walked in, “Excuse me, they told me to bring this to you.”

Ryosuke watched as Yuto took the file, nodding at the clerk, thanking him as he turned to leave, sighing as he turned to glance back at Ryosuke, “Anyway, I didn’t mean to snap—"

“It’s fine,” Ryosuke waved him off, closing the distance between himself and Yuri, squatting down by where his head was laying, his hand reaching out to touch the back of his head, his voice soft, soothing, “Hey…everything’s gonna be alright.”

Yuri turned his head, his eyes remaining closed, frowning, “It won’t be…I was really looking forward to this…we… _we_  were…”

Ryosuke could hear Keito and Yuto mumbling about what was in the folder, and he tried to ignore them, his eyes fixed on Yuri’s when they popped open, full of sadness, “…this and then the party and everything, and now—what? They don’t even want to let us go to the temple?”

“Ryosuke,  _we have to go to the temple_!” Ryosuke frowned as he watched a tear fall across Yuri’s cheek onto the couch. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was that made this such a big deal to Yuri, despite them talking about it a lot as they grew up, it never seemed like a ‘do or die’ thing to him, but apparently, it surely was for Yuri.

He turned when Yuto called his name, finding him holding up one of the papers, “It really does say here we are forbidden from attending any of the ceremonies, or visiting the temples in our region. I-I just…I can’t believe it.”

“Me either,” Keito frowned, looking at the other pages in the folder.

Ryosuke clenched his eyes shut, trying to think, needing to fix this, make things right for Yuri, then he rustled Yuri’s hair when he spoke, “Listen, we’ll go to the temple, Yur,” Ryosuke glanced back at the others.

Yuto tilted his head, and was clearly concerned that Ryosuke shouldn’t make promises he might not be able to keep, Ryosuke didn’t pay attention to the warning, looking back at Yuri who had opened his eyes to stare at him, “Even if it’s just you and I, we’ll go to the temple, I promise.”

Yuri nodded, believing this, and in that moment Ryosuke wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Yuri look so small, so child-like, and yet, so trusting in him. He was going to see to this. He was going to make it happen no matter what, smiling softly at him, “We’ll  _all_ be there.”

“Really?” Yuri whispered, his eyes filled with hope.

“Yes,” Ryosuke nodded, shifting around to lean his hip against the couch, his hand moving onto Yuri’s back as his arm enveloped his head, “Read me that part you just talked about, the way it’s written?”

“Okay,” Yuto flipped the page and then read out loud, “There’s a bunch of stuff about the city’s concerns…stuff about internal dialogue…ahhh…umm…oh, here it is! The members shall not be permitted to attend any of the Seijin no Hi within the Kantō region, including the Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, Saitama, Tokyo, Chiba, and Kanagawa prefectures. Likewise, they will be expressly forbidden from attending prayer service at any of the temples within the the Kantō region, including the Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, Saitama, Tokyo, Chiba, and Kanagawa prefectures.”

“That’s fine,” Ryosuke’s eyes lit up, and he smiled broadly, “That leaves forty other prefectures where we  _haven’t_  been forbidden to attend.”

Keito blinked rapidly, and then he laughed loudly, “Oh my gosh, he’s right!?”

Yuto didn’t answer, just looking through the papers frantically, and then he looked up at Ryosuke who was watching him in his search to find a reason it wouldn’t work, smiling, “It doesn’t say anything else, it doesn’t say anything about any other regions or prefectures.”

“So…we obey, we won’t attend one in the Kantō prefectures…but we’ll pick one somewhere else, and we’ll attend there.”

Yuto was considering the idea carefully, and Ryosuke was prepared to defend his idea, but Yuri’s hand reached up, touching his cheek and forcing him to turn to look down at him, his voice soft and small, “Are you serious?”

“Totally,” Ryosuke smiled softly, “We’ll have our own ceremony if we have to, but we’re participating in the Coming of Age ceremony, and we will be going to the temple, I promise.”

Yuri smiled then, his hand sliding up around Ryosuke’s neck to drag him down, so he could hug him, “Thanks, Yama-chan!”

Ryosuke smiled as he wrapped his arms around him to hug him back.

_I’d do anything for you._

“You’re welcome, Yuri,” Ryosuke smiled despite his head being twisted in a weird way, and his ankles crying for him to stand up and his face being filled with mostly Yuri’s hair—because Yuri was hugging him.

_I’d do anything to make you smile._

 

* * *

##  **November 1, 2013**

* * *

 

“I really like this pattern!” Ryosuke pointed to one of the swatches that had a pattern of thin and short lines made from small hash patterns on the fabric, a vague light grayish-blue tint to part of the fabric, hardly noticeable, but they’d all agreed it would be kind of nice to have a bit of flair to the outfit, despite it being traditional in every other way. The part would hardly be seen in fact, but they’d know it was there..

“I like that one, also,” Yuto agreed, reaching forward to pull a different swatch out, “I’m tied between that one and this one.”

Yuri nodded, “Me, too.”

“Well, I think Keito will be the deciding factor,” Ryosuke glanced at his watch, “Where is he? Anyone heard from him?”

The words had no sooner left his mouth than the door flew open and Keito entered the room carrying a box, “Sorry! Sorry, I’m late guys!”

“Need help?” Ryosuke asked, stepping around the table, but Keito shook his head, and moved to set the box on the table.

“I got it,” Keito responded, sliding the box away, and then looking at the swatches on the table, “For the obi with our mon-tsuki?”

“Yes,” Ryosuke nodded, laying out all the swatches in a row, “What do you like?”

Keito looked over them carefully, pulling a few forward to compare with one another and then slide one out by itself, “I like this one, it’s subtle but still decorative.”

The others nodded, and Ryosuke slid the one they’d been debating about forward, “This was the one we were tied with.”

“Ah,” Keito put the two side by side, “They are not very different, I do like this one,” he gestured to the one he’d chosen, “only because it will add a small amount of color without detracting from the formality.”

“Good,” Ryosuke grabbed the swatches and tucked the ones not chosen away into a bag, “Now that’s decided, we have only to see our crest!”

“I’m so excited!” Yuri leaned forward on the table, “I am so excited!”

Yuto nodded, “Me too!”

“Okay, okay,” Keito laughed lightly, “I have it here!”

“Thank you again for designing the kamon for us, Keito,” Ryosuke smiled at him, “We all really appreciate it.”

“It was my honor,” Keito bowed slightly, his cheeks flushed, “I am thankful you all had faith in me that I could do something worthy of us. I really hope you like it.”

“I’m not worried at all,” Ryosuke smiled at him, “But I am excited!”

He pointed to the box and Keito laughed as he pulled it over to sit in front of himself.

“Okay, I’ll show you how it will look on our kimono and haori first.”

Ryosuke glanced over, laughing softly at the way that Yuri was practically vibrating in place from his excitement, watching as Keito opened the box, careful to not reveal the contents before he was ready.

He drew out an image, moving it over the table upside down so that all the boys could see was a black surface, and then he quickly flipped it over to lay it on the table, his eyes soft and hopeful, holding his breath.

“That’s amazing!” Yuri gushed, leaning to get a closer look!

“It’s so cool!” Ryosuke said, shifting around the table to pat Keito o the back, “You did amazing, this is amazing!”

“It really is, Keito!” Yuto exclaimed, pointing at the design, “It’s so unique!”

Keito blushed at the praise and he was grinning so big his cheeks were aching, nodding, “I worked very hard to make something that represented the four of us.”

Ryosuke pulled him into a side hug, “You succeeded, it’s fantastic.”

“Eh, it’s alright,” Keito mused, knowing that they didn’t really get it,  _not yet_ , and then he shifted, reaching into the box, and quickly drew out a large frame with another version of the symbol in color having been matted behind the glass, thrusting it into Ryosuke’s hands.

Ryosuke looked down at the frame, his eyes wide as he took in the symbol, realizing that the ‘cool’ symbol he’d seen before was in fact, deeply profound in the design and what it meant, the other boys falling silent as Keito handed them their frames.

“I…Keito…” Ryosuke’s words were choked, emotion flooding him, “it was…amazing the way it will show up as our crest on our clothing…but this…this is… _perfect_.”

“Thank you,” Keito responded, humbly, glad that the boys loved his design this much, glad he’d been able to capture who they were in in a single symbol.

“You did great,” Ryosuke smiled, sniffling, trying to hold back his tears, and Keito grabbed him into a huge hug, causing him to laugh and cry at the same time, the words muffled, “Really, thank you.”

They’d talked for a while longer, adding a few ideas and such to the plans, and as they were leaving Ryosuke handed them each a business card, “I’ll take the crest to the shop this week, so they can create the dye for it. By Thursday all of you need to go there and get your measurements done so they can start working on your mon-tsuki!  _Don’t forget!_  They are waiting for those measurements!”

“Wait,” Yuri stopped, looking down at the card, “I thought we were each goin—”

“I took care of it,” Ryosuke spoke softly, yet firmly, his eyes imploring the others to understand why he wanted to do this, needed to do it, “I just…it’s…please don’t argue with me. I just really…I wanted to do it—we’ve all talked about it for so long and now that we’re close I am feeling very…sentimental about it. Just…let me do it, okay?”

It wasn’t really in any of the boys to accept such an extravagant gift under normal circumstances, but things being as they were this wasn’t really ‘ordinary’ at all, and a such, it was as if the thought of how kind and generous and warm and loving this gesture was had hit them all at the same time—and resulted in a large mass of laughter, tears, arms, in what could arguably have been the longest group hug ever.

 

* * *

Also, in my research I discovered that there was a lot of buzz about whether or not 7 was allowed to attend their ceremony, and no images have surfaced at all–and there were statements from Johnny’s and such. I used the idea in my story, though I can not confirm or deny if they really did attend one.


	4. It's Enough (Hey Say 7 celebrates Yuri’s 20th Birthday, 2013–includes all 4 members of 7)

* * *

Yuto was making his way through the streets toward Ryosuke’s neighborhood, having been the designated driver, he was making sure everyone got home safely. It had been a good idea as it turned out, since despite having been out with Keito a few times, he had never really seen him drink more than a single drink with his dinner—and tonight he found out that it didn’t take much to send him into alternate fits of giggles and uncontrollable tears.

At one point he’d burst out into tears from how pretty the strawberry was on the top of his drink, sobbing as he lamented how it was ‘the prettiest strawberry I’ve ever seen in my whole life’.

_Drunk people though._

On the other hand, the guy they’d taken to the bar to purposefully get trashed, Yuri, seemed to hold his alcohol fairly well. They’d all been pretty impressed until he admitted he’d carb loaded before showing up, and was drinking slower than everyone else.

As it turned out, once the food slowed down and the drinks kept coming they’d all pulled out their cellphones to document his slow slide into inebriation for the first time. The glazed eyes, the way he started hugging everyone, and sitting in their laps like had when he was twelve.

They’d had a good laugh, and then when they’d tried to cut him off he pitched a holy fit and Ryosuke had ended up tricking him into leaving by telling him that he was going to take him dancing.

“Will you dance with me, Yama-chan?”

“Sure,” Ryosuke laughed as he held Yuri up, handling him carefully across the parking lot.

“You promise?”

“Yes,” Ryosuke laughed, “I promise when we go dancing I will dance with you, Yuri.”

“Ca-can I pick the song?”

“Sure, of course.” Ryosuke couldn’t think of a reason at all he shouldn’t make these promises to him since they weren’t actually going dancing, and odds were that Yuri wouldn’t remember any of this anyway.

Yuto had supported Keito to the car, buckling him in the front seat and laughing when he pulled his knees up to his chest and burst into tears because he was cold. He grabbed a blanket out of the trunk and wrapped him up in it, which caused him to weep more, as he told him how much he loved him and what a good friend he is.

Ryosuke had managed to convince Yuri that the dance club was not in the same neighborhood—which got him excited, so he jumped clumsily into the backseat and hit his fists on the front seats screaming for Yuto to ‘get your ass in here and take me to dance with the hottie!’

They had no idea who the ‘hottie’ was, at least no one was willing to guess, and when they’d asked him, Yuri’s face had flushed a dark red, and he’d barked orders at Yuto about what club he wanted to go to and told him to get them there ‘stat’.

Yuto started the car, glancing over at Keito before he pulled out of the parking lot, intending to give him control over the radio only to find him sleeping soundly, snoring softly with his head pressed against the window, then his attention was drawn by the escalating racket from the backseat. He paused, still stopped at the exit, turning in his seat to try to get a feel for what was going on back there.

He discovered Ryosuke trying to wrangle Yuri into the seatbelt—but their somewhat belligerent newly christened now exceedingly drunken twenty-year old—had apparently thrown his arms around Ryosuke’s waist with a death grip, murmuring an ongoing monologue about how much he loved him.

Yuto stifled a laugh when he heard Yuri’s voice, slurred, and sloppy, still fading in and out, his eyes making contact with Ryosuke who was smiling, looking down at Yuri while he continued to express his undying love and affection for him, “I love you, Ryo-chan. I really, really love you!”

Ryosuke laughed, “Well, if you love me you need to do what I’m asking you to do right now. You have to sit down and let me put the seatbelt on you. It’s dangerous to not wear it, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Okay, only cause you asked, just for you,” his head wobbled as he nodded, his eyes seeming to bounce with the motion.

“Then sit back and let me fix it.”

“I still want to hug you, can I?”

“Sure, sure,” Ryosuke nodded, pushing into his chest with his shoulder to get him into the position to finally get the belt around him, releasing his breath when the belt finally clicked into place.

He pulled back grabbing his own seatbelt, having to thread it between Yuri’s arms because he was  _not_ letting go, now leaning over onto Ryosuke’s side of the car, still holding him around his midsection.

“We good?” Yuto asked, raising his eyebrows in amusement, still trying not to laugh at the scene.

“Yeah,” Ryosuke nodded, shrugging, “Sorry.”

“No problem, who knew he was going to be that kind of drunk, right?”

“Truth,” Ryosuke nodded, watching as Yuri shifted, twisting in his belt and then ending up with his head laid on his lap, one hand still resting between his back and the seat, the other stretched out across his legs and tucked underneath his thigh.

“I love you Ryo-chan…” the words were soft, and Yuri had shifted his head, blinking dreamily up at Ryosuke, a smile on his face.

Ryosuke shushed him gently, his hand moving through Yuri’s hair softly, trying to soothe him, “Sleep now, Chii.”

“But…but…I need to tell you.”

His tone was comical, like he was telling a long-held secret, despite his voice being far too loud for such things, and Ryosuke couldn’t help but smile as he watched Yuri trying to lift his head, but it was no use, instead his head just lolled to the side, and his eyes twitched where he was trying to open them, sleep demanding to be taken, Ryosuke’s voice soft as he leaned over him, “Tell me what?”

“How much I love you,” the words were messy, but Ryosuke knew what he was saying, and he felt his heart clench—not really having thought that him being around a drunk Yuri would mean him saying things that he so desperately longed to hear, but that he didn’t even know he was saying.

_If only he meant it the way I wish he did._

“I love you, too, Yuri,” Ryosuke frowned at the bittersweet feeling swelling in his chest when he said the words, the meaning so much more than the way he knew that Yuri would hear them, pushing the hair off his forehead, his fingers moving through the silky strands, smiling down at him, “Sleep now.”

“Okay,” Yuri murmured, and Ryosuke couldn’t help but laugh quietly as he felt the weight change, Yuri finally having drifted off to sleep nearly instantly after so much protesting.

Yuto had pulled out on the road leading to Ryosuke’s house, familiar with the route, his eyes glancing in the rear-view mirror, a smile spreading across his face at the scene in the backseat.

Ryosuke had his head leaned against the headrest, eyes closed, and despite having drank a bit, he wasn’t too far gone, he was a little wobbly, and certainly, his eyes had been glassy and his face flushed, but mostly his aura was serene, no worries, no concerns there, and Yuto was glad. This had been a strange night, a weird turn of events given the way the two of them had talked, admitted a lot of past issues they’d had with each other.

It felt like a new page had turned in the book of their lives and he was glad to have all that unpleasantness put away for good now. He was so thankful, felt relieved, and he understood Ryosuke finally, and he knew he understood him, too. Things would never go back to the way they were, they’d grow together now, and nothing could make him happier, nothing in the world.

_Well, maybe one thing…_

He reached up, quietly as he could to not disturb the others, twisting the rearview mirror to try to see what Yuri was doing, his eyes widening when he discovered Yuri was also sound asleep—shocked first that the kid could fall asleep so fast after his manic episode of ordering him around, and then secondarily about how he was sleeping.

He couldn’t help but wonder, about Yuri, about him with Ryosuke…the image they presented, they looked like they belonged there, the two of them together, despite the picture being one of decided disarray—it still looked somehow… _right_.

_It is right._

_I know it is._

Ryosuke’s legs were stretched out in front of him, a contented smile on his face, and Yuri was sprawled out across him, seemingly passed out, his arms wrapped around Ryosuke, and Ryosuke’s arms were wrapped around his shoulders, holding him there against him.

Yuto left the mirror, just so he could see the two of them, enjoying it on a secret level that he wondered if he dared to admit to either of them. He focused back on the drive, turning the song on the radio up just a bit louder so he could sing along quietly.

Ryosuke’s head lifted when they’d made a turn, blinking sleepily as he remembered where they were, what they were doing. His eyes widened, staring down at the boy in his lap, the swell of emotions rushing through him as he took in his appearance, and normally it would be the time he’d run through his list of all the reasons why loving Yuri was the worst thing he could possibly do—but tonight, thanks to the fuzzy glow around him from the alcohol that was still warming his skin—without any further thought than how much he truly loved this boy—he leaned over, kissing his forehead gently, his lips pressed against his warm skin, lingering there for a moment as he let himself imagine, to pretend that this was real, that this was something that wasn’t impossible.  

There in that moment though?

With the sound of the wind against the car, the soft lull of the motion, and the feeling like the whole space was safe and made for declarations and terms of love and endearment—all of the world seeming a little kinder, a little gentler around him thanks to the alcohol whirling through his veins, it felt like it could be real.

_Like, somehow, something like this could really happen._

He sighed softly, kissing him again, and then pulling away reluctantly, a smile spreading across his face at the thought, impossible as it was, he couldn’t be shaken, his eyes moving to look out the window as store lights passed by and then his eyes shifted, and his heart stopped.

Yuto’s eyes were fixed on those facing him in the rearview mirror, and then he hastily looked back at the road, swallowing thickly, trying to figure out how to pretend he hadn’t seen what had just happened.

_I’m right!_

_I knew it!_

Ryosuke couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t think of how to explain his actions to Yuto.

_Maybe he didn’t see…_

Ryosuke was still trying to figure out whether Yuto might have seen the kiss when the car came to a stop, Yuto sitting still in the front seat, “We’re here.”

He glanced over to see Keito still unmoving, and then turned to look at the backseat, his eyes apologetic as he looked into Ryosuke’s, pointing at Yuri, “Do you want me to take him home first?”

“No,” Ryosuke shook his head, “He drank too much, I don’t want him to be alone, it’s dangerous, he can stay here, and I’ll take him home in the morning.”

“Okay,” Yuto agreed, getting out and then opening the door for Ryosuke.

“Yuri?” Ryosuke shook him a bit, “We’re at my house, we need to go inside.”

Yuri didn’t move, didn’t stop the soft puffing sounds that were coming out every three breaths.

Ryosuke looked at Yuto who shrugged.

He shifted, trying to crawl out of the car to get loose from Yuri’s grasp, finally managing, standing outside the car with his hands on his hips. He reached in his pocket, handing Yuto his keys, “You get the door, I’ll get him.”

Yuto nodded, turning to walk up the sidewalk. Ryosuke was glad that Yuri was so small as he shifted him this way and that until he could finally get him lifted into his arms, careful to not hit his head as he pulled him out of the car. Yuto nodded, waiting until they’d cleared the door to close it, following Ryosuke into his house.

Ryosuke leaned over to sit Yuri on the couch, but he whined, a high-pitched protest coming out of his body, and Yuto laughed, his eyebrows raising when Ryosuke glanced at him, “I don’t think he wants to be alone.”

“Right…” Ryosuke shifted, turning to sit on the couch and he reached down, picking up Yuri’s head and shoulders so he could slide under him, settling him back down carefully on him.

Yuri rolled over onto his side, an involuntary action, as his entire body felt like it was operating of its own accord, his head resting on Ryosuke’s knee, his body heavy, and his consciousness begging to be set free, yet, he lingered, somewhere on the cusp between awake and asleep—the whole feeling disorienting.

“So…” Yuto drew the word out, swaying in place before his eyes connected with Ryosuke’s his meaning more than clear when he asked the question, “Are you going to tell him?”

“Oi!” Ryosuke scoffed loudly, surprised at the fact that Yuto was addressing the kiss so directly, “You meant it when you said we weren’t going to have any more walls between us!”

Yuto laughed, raising his eyebrows, “It was your idea, don’t try to blame me, you started it.”

Ryosuke laughed softly, shaking his head, and then Yuto joined him, the tone of his voice soft, “You should tell him, Ryosuke. You like him, he likes you…you need to talk about it.”

“You have no idea about all of it…” Ryosuke stated, not in an accusing or even dismissive way, in a way that said, ‘I’ll tell if you ask’ rather, that he needed someone to talk to about who could give him an open and honest perspective.

“I know more than you think, Yama-chan,” Yuto pronounced, plopping down on the footstool in front of Ryosuke, bending forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“What the hell does that mean?” Ryosuke asked, narrowing his eyes.

Yuto laughed, raising his hands up in defense, “Don’t get mad, it’s not my fault you guys are subtle as a bull in a china shop.”

“How so?” Ryosuke asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“I see how you have him labeled in your phone when you’re texting him…Do you know what he has you labeled at by any chance?” Ryosuke’s eyes widened a little bit, but that wasn’t really proof anything—still, he shook his head, because he didn’t know.

“’The one’,” Yuto whispered, “That’s what your name is in his phone.”

“That could be anything, you guys call me Ace all the time!”

“It’s not just  _anything_ , he isn’t talking about that…C’mon, Ryosuke, don’t be stupid! I shouldn’t have to convince you–I’ve seen you move other people’s designations so that he could sit next to you. I saw you go to management to make sure he would be a part of the show you were on time and again.”

“So…I’d do that fo—”

“Shut up, you wouldn’t—and he wouldn’t either, but he does all those things with you, too. You have no idea, do you?”

Ryosuke stared at Yuto wide-eyed, his eyes bouncing down to Yuri and then back again, “I—I don’t…I dunno…”

“Listen, I mean, who the heck spends  _four hours_  picking out the perfect gift for someone’s birthday? You don’t do that for _friends_.”

“I do,” Ryosuke answered defensively.

“Really?” Yuto smiled, “You spent four hours picking out the perfect gift card to my favorite camera store?”

Ryosuke frowned, knowing it was true, knowing everything Yuto was saying was completely true, but not feeling like talking anymore—the more that was said the more the nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach kept rising up, stronger and stronger.

“I just…listen, I understand—you should know that. I’m not trying to call you out here—but how long are you guys going to keep doing this? This…pretending?”

Ryosuke’s breath shuddered, and while he wanted to say something, he couldn’t think of what he could possibly say, his mind reeling.

“I saw the way you drew a heart around the date on your calendar for his birthday—when you’d opened it while we were in the waiting area—you were checking the date for the production they called you about yesterday.”

“I’m going to be honest, okay? I have four years of evidence, and we can spend all night going through it—and these are just things from this month, Yama-chan.”

Ryosuke’s eyes widened, and he realized maybe he’d become a little careless, if Yuto could discover so much about his feelings about Yuri.

_Or maybe you want Yuri to figure it out._

_No._

_That can’t happen._

“You are such a…” Ryosuke wanted to raise his voice but didn’t dare with Yuri sleeping in his lap, his voice a low hiss, “You’re such a nosey-ass bitch! I can’t believe you’ve been spying like that!”

Yuto shrugged, “It wasn’t hard, you weren’t exactly subtle, Romeo. Plus, I prefer the term inquisitive, thank you very much.”

“Whatever,” Ryosuke sighed, raising his hand up to press against his eyes as he closed them, “It doesn’t matter, things are what they are and I’m not going to mess things up just because I can’t let this go.”

“ _Why_  do you need to let it go?” Yuto asked, tapping Ryosuke’s knee so he’d look at him, “Why can’t you two be happy together?”

Ryosuke huffed, raising his arm up to pinch the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, “Listen, I don’t even know how he feels, I don’t even know if he…you know…likes…”

“Likes guys?” Yuto asked pointedly.

“Yeah,” Ryosuke felt stupid for not being willing to say that simple statement out loud.

It wasn’t like he didn’t talk about it.

His parents knew how he felt about Yuri, his sisters too, he’d told them a long time ago—but he’d explained to them that he was married to his job, and it was good that the possibility didn’t exist for them to be together. 

It made things easier for him to be an idol. That was his focus, that was his job. It was a blessing to him, that despite having been around thousands of people in hundreds of different situations, he’d never felt a particular attraction to  _anyone_.

_Except Yuri._

“It’s complicated for me…I have…I have so many responsibilities,” Ryosuke murmured, and for a moment Yuto was glad that he wasn’t the center of Jump, despite having wanted that coveted position, because now, he saw the weight of it in this moment, all of the facets of the job clear as Ryosuke sat raw and broken in front of him, his voice shaking when he spoke, “…nothing I do just affects me. _Everything_  I do has ramifications, for me, for  _everyone._ ”

“That may be true,” Yuto took a deep breath, leaning closer to him, “…but Ryosuke, you also have a responsibility to yourself, to you—to give yourself the freedom to be happy. This life is demanding, and I can’t pretend to fully understand your position, but I do know one thing— _no one_  should have to live a loveless life just because they’re in our profession.”

As Ryosuke contemplated this, Yuri had drifted into a strange awareness, feeling like he was floating in the room, as if his entire body was weightless and he was suspended in some in between place—not fully conscious, but not fully asleep either—and he struggled, hearing Yuto and Ryosuke talking, wanting to join the conversation, but not able to move, not able to force his eyes open.

“Yama-chan, sometimes, even as idols, I think it’s okay for us to push everything else aside and look at what’s best for ourselves. We can’t make everyone happy all the time, it’s not possible. Something like this? This should be something that works that way, that you decide how to handle it based on what is going to be the best thing for you and your life,” Yuto spoke the words softly, imploring him to listen.

“It’s not that simple.”

Yuri wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to see Ryosuke, because the words sounded pained, they sounded like he was suffering, and he wanted to help him, do whatever he could to make it better, but his body refused to listen to him, refused to do what he wanted, rather it felt as if more weight settled on him, and he cursed the drinks he’d had, wishing they’d warned him about this part.

“It  _is_  that simple, you’re just a dumb ass!” Yuto laughed softly, and Yuri could tell he was close by, and he wondered absently why they’d let him and Keito drink so much, “You like each other—it’s the simplest thing in the world.”

_What…what is he talking about?_

_Oh, God! Does Ryosuke like someone!?_

“Yuto,” Ryosuke’s hand moved across Yuri’s back, and even in his state it felt like there was affection there and he wanted to cry—he wanted to grab it and hold it against him, “It really isn’t. There are a lot of people who would be affected, Jump, our families, a lot of people who could be…hurt…not just me, and…I mean, _he_  could be hurt by them.”

_Him? Ryosuke likes a guy? Wait…Ryosuke likes a guy….whoa…_

Ryosuke glanced down at Yuri, his hand moving down his arm to rest on his back.

_Wait…wait…he likes a guy!_

“I just…protecting him is the most important thing. I don’t want him to be hurt. I don’t want him to ever be hurt.”

_Oh, NO! God! Please!_

Yuri felt his heart stop and he wanted to move, needed to sit up and stop this conversation, stop these words, he wanted to slap his hands over his ears, because if he heard more he was going to die, just die right there with his head on Ryosuke’s lap, his hands tucked under his legs, his arm resting back on his own now, his hand warm where it was laying, and he wanted to cry, he wished he could.

_Please, give me a chance, I need to tell you before you decide this!_

_I need you to know how I feel!_

“I mean,” Yuto’s voice was soft, and it was close, and Yuri heard movement, realizing that he was sitting on the stool that was in front of the couch, “I’m not going to pretend to know everything, but I…I’ve seen how he looks at you, Yama-chan, and I have heard the things he says, I mean, he doesn’t even try to pretend that he doesn’t see you like that—”

_Oh God, oh God…Ryosuke likes someone and they like him, too._

“—and the thing is, I don’t think it’s an act—you know how he is on shows and interviews and stuff…and…I just think, I’m right, okay? I think he’s crazy about you.”

_I’m crazy about you!_

Ryosuke didn’t blink, didn’t look away, didn’t mince words—he was deadly serious, “I can’t take that chance.”

_Please, please, give me a chance!_

“What chance?”

“The chance that you’re wrong,” Ryosuke whispered, his voice filled with pain, his eyes closing tightly at the very thought, “ _I can’t lose him_ , I can’t take that chance, I’d rather have him in my life as a friend, than to lose him—he’s always been a permanent part of my world, since we were kids. I can’t take a chance he’d walk away.”

_Who? Wait…who? Since they were kids?_

“I don’t think for a second that would happen.”

“ _I can’t take the chance_ ,” Ryosuke repeated, “I need him in my life, in whatever capacity,” Ryosuke’s hand clenched Yuri’s shoulder, “I can’t…I can’t even imagine losing him, okay? I mean it, I can’t…”

Yuri played the words over in his head… _wait…wait…are they talking…are they talking about me?_

“It’s just you—only you, that thinks there’s even a remote possibility that he doesn’t feel that way about you,” Yuto insisted, “I know I’m right. Yuri loves you.”

_I do love you!_

_I do!_

Ryosuke’s hand shifted, moving across Yuri’s shoulder, his eyes fixed on the boy in his lap and he tried to imagine it, imagine the chance that Yuri could feel the same way about him, that he could want the same things he did. His hand moved slowly across his neck, his fingers lifting as he drew them through his soft hair, wanting to kick his own ass when he realized he was kinda glad he’d passed out stone cold drunk, just because he’d had a little too much himself, and he found that despite him telling his hand to stop touching him—he couldn’t.

“I love him.”

_I love you!_

He didn’t mean for the words to come out, he thought them and then they spilled out, just fell out without inhibition.

“I know,” Yuto sighed, and he shifted, standing up, “You need to tell  _him_ that.”

The room was silent, and then Yuto shifted, “I’m going home, you need to go to bed, we shouldn’t have done this when we have work tomorrow.”

“At least we don’t have to be there until noon,” Ryosuke smiled, his eyes moving to the clock to see it was nearly eleven.

Yuri could hear Yuto moving around, and if he could have made himself laugh he would have at his words, “I’m taking Keito to my house since he’s still passed out in my car—the kid can’t hold his alcohol at all—you should have warned me, you idiot. At least I know all he’ll do is throw up and then cry—who can guess what Yuri is going to be like, besides—you only need one hung-over patient to deal with.”

“Thanks, Yutti,” Ryosuke whispered, “For…everything.”

“Thank you, Ryosuke, for everything too,” Yuto smiled, pointing to Yuri and then nodding, “Talk to him,” pulling the door closed behind him, having set the lock, and headed to his car to take care of Keito.

Ryosuke looked down at Yuri, feeling overwhelmed by his affection for him, wanting to tell him, wanting him to know, but he was plagued with doubts, with fears, with uncertainty—and he meant it, meant that he would die if he lost Yuri.

There was no world he could imagine without him in it. It made his chest feel weighted and crushed at the thought. He was a cornerstone in his world, a part of his very foundation and there would be no recovering from the void his life would become without him.

_I can’t lose him. I can’t. There’s no way, I can’t risk it._

He shifted, lifting Yuri up to move out from under him, and Yuri finally was able to make a sound, a low growl of protest coming out of him as he felt the cool couch pillow shoved under his head—desperately wanting to feel Ryosuke’s warmth again.

His eyes wouldn’t open so he just growled again, irritated at his own body.

“Calm down,” Ryosuke leaned close to him, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you some water to drink before you sleep.”

The sound of water made him frown, all he wanted to do was sleep, sleep and tell Ryosuke how much loved him.

_Either one or the other or both in no particular order._

He didn’t know how much time had passed, startling when he felt Ryosuke touch him, “Hey, I’m gonna help you sit up, okay?”

He groaned, not sure what that meant, but whatever.

He felt his body shift, and Ryosuke had an arm under his, lifting him up off the couch, and he felt like he wasn’t walking, though he knew he somehow was, and he blinked, watching as the hallway passed by, then he was laying down on a soft, pillowy surface and he smiled, humming in contentment, the scent of Ryosuke filling all his senses.

“Hey, hey, don’t fall back to sleep yet,” Ryosuke spoke quickly, pushing his arm under Yuri’s shoulders to force him to sit up, shaking him lightly, as he sat down beside him on the bed, supporting him.

“Tired,” Yuri whined, trying to flop backward but Ryosuke wasn’t having any of it.

“You can sleep after you drink some water.”

“Do not want.”

Ryosuke shook him lightly, shaking his head, “I don’t care if you ‘do not want’—you have to drink it, it will help you in the morning, just a few sips.”

Yuri fussed, most of the words incoherent but Ryosuke felt pretty sure he was cursing at him, which just made him laugh under his breath, as Yuri attempted to drink from the straw Ryosuke had pushed into his mouth, taking a few sips, and then crying out, pitiful, “Sleep?”

Ryosuke laughed, slowly lowering him back down onto the pillow before he shifted, starting to stand up. As he turned to move to the door, Yuri’s arms grasped tightly around his waist, “Don’t go.”

Ryosuke clenched his eyes shut, his expression pained, because it was just too much, he needed to think and get his head together, but Yuri was whimpering softly behind him, and Ryosuke turned slowly, pushing back on Yuri’s shoulders, trying to get him to let go, “I’ll be right out there.”

Yuri pulled him roughly, and Ryosuke’s knee hit the bed, his hand landing to the side of Yuri’s head, stopping himself from falling over on top of him, Yuri’s tone petulant, “No! Stay.”

Ryosuke had figured that he would either be a total brat when he was drunk or a weepy crybaby—and at this point, he wasn’t sure which he might prefer, and despite that, he couldn’t help but feel butterflies in his tummy at how close he was to him right now

“Please?” Yuri frowned, his eyes blinking as he tried to stay awake, his bottom lip jutting out, and there was a part of Ryosuke at war, wanting to just move the few inches forward and kiss him, his heart shaped lips so enticing, just do it, just get the whole sordid mess out in the open, but he’d never take advantage of Yuri like that, not when he was so vulnerable.

Yuri’s face crumpled, his words broken, “Please, stay with me.”

The words were soft and Ryosuke could tell he was working himself up into a frenzy, ready to burst into tears and he rolled his eyes, because of course, _naturally_ , Yuri was BOTH a brat and a crier.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Ryosuke whispered softly, “but you have to move over a bit, Yur.”

Yuri nodded, and he tried to move, but his body was clumsy, and he couldn’t really figure out how to move very well, but it didn’t really matter, because Ryosuke just slid in under the covers when there was enough room for him, his arms moving under his head as he laid there, intent on getting up the moment Yuri fell back to sleep.

That was the plan, until Ryosuke’s breath caught in his throat, his entire body frozen when without another word Yuri wrapped himself around him, curling his body against his. He immediately fell sound asleep, and Ryosuke could feel his heart pounding from the way his warmth was seeping from his small body onto his, and the way his arm was wrapped around his stomach, his fingers twisted up in his t-shirt, his face pressed against his neck, his soft breath tickling his skin there, and he could feel his heartbeat on his chest.

He leaned his head up to look at him, to try to memorize the picture, of his arm holding him him, one of his legs thrown across his own, like he was taking possession of him.

_I’ll be yours._

_Just ask me._

_I’ll be yours forever._

He drew his arms down, slowly, one of them wrapping around him to hold him there against him, the other trembling when he drew his fingers forward, brushing against his cheek, smiling when he snored softly in his sleep.

_He’s the most adorable human in existence._

_I love him._

_Say it. Just say it, one time, just say it to him._

_He’s sleeping. You can say it to him._

“God,” Ryosuke leaned up, the battle lost, a tear falling down his cheek as he pressed his lips to Yuri’s forehead, his hand gently stroking his cheek, “I love you, Chinen Yuri,” Ryosuke’s words were firm, spoken with conviction, as his eyes fluttered closed, laying his head back on his pillow, exhaustion spreading throughout all of his senses, “I will always love you.”

* * *

 

Yuri stretched, and then he jerked forward, his stomach lurching, and he stumbled as he flew off the bed, his leg caught in the sheet, and he didn’t know where he was, but then strong arms grabbed him around the waist and guided him to the bathroom, his eyes closed sharply at the stark bright light, and then the light was gone and there was just a soft glow, and then he was bent over, the contents of his stomach expelled violently.

He groaned, and then another wave hit him, and he dropped, his hands landing on the toilet seat as he retched again, and he realized that someone’s hand was touching his back, rubbing there softly.

“Take a breath,” Ryosuke’s voice was soft and Yuri felt soothed by his presence, realizing he’d helped him to the bathroom.

Ryosuke shifted forward, squatting down next to him as he reached over to run a soft, cool washcloth over his face, and Yuri hummed at the way it felt on his skin, his voice coarse and rough, “Whe—where’s my phone?”

“In the bedroom,” Ryosuke responded, tilting his head, “Why?”

“I need to dial 911. I’m dying.”

Ryosuke laughed then, covering his mouth so he wouldn’t be too loud, but it didn’t matter, Yuri still groaned at the noise and then shoved him causing him to lose his balance, landing sprawled out on the floor, not bothering to muffle his laughter which made Yuri slap his legs before he shifted forward, leaning over the toilet, worried he might be sick again.

Ryosuke moved next to him, his hand on his back, “You okay?”

The wave of nausea passed, and Yuri nodded, “For now,” he shifted, moving his legs out as he leaned against the cabinet, “I’m never drinking again.”

Ryosuke laughed, “That’s what they all say.”

“I mean it,” he reached up to hold his head, “It feels like my head is trying to explode, there’s no way it was worth it, I don’t even remember anything after you and Yuto talking about your feelings.”

Ryosuke’s eyes widened, his heart stopped, as he swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat, his mind fixated on the feelings that he’d discussed with Yuto the night before—the feelings he has for Yuri.

Yuri opened his eyes, shaking his head and then groaning, “I am glad that you two talked about all of that stuff from when we first debuted.”

_Oh, God…oh, God…thank you, thank you….thank you…_

“Yeah,” Ryosuke laughed nervously, “It’s good…really good.”

“You should talk about things before they weigh on you like that,” Yuri nodded his head, then frowned at how it made the room spin.

“I’m never letting you drink again,” Ryosuke teased, “Not if you’re going to be Dr. Phil the next morning.”

“Oh, shut up!” Yuri laughed lightly, reaching up to take Ryosuke’s hand as he offered to help him stand up. They walked into the bedroom, which gave Yuri pause as he glanced back at Ryosuke who was leaning against the doorway, pointing to the nightstand where Yuri had apparently been sleeping which held two glasses and some pills, “Drink half of the water, take those pills, then drink half of the juice. Do it slowly or it’ll make you sick again.”

Yuri looked over at him, “Alright, where are you going?”

“Shower,” Ryosuke glanced at the clock, then gestured behind him, “We’ve got two hours and I figure we need to go by your house to get your stuff, right?”

_He’s thought of everything._

_Of course, because he’s Ryosuke._

Yuri nodded, moving over to sit on the bed slowly as Ryosuke disappeared back into the bathroom to shower, taking in the drinks and pills and feeling like he was just about as well taken care of any guy could ever be all things considered.

He pulled the blanket up, wrapping it around his shoulders as he took a sip of the cool water. Trying to think about the night before, he couldn’t really find it in himself to be embarrassed, though he was sure he should be since he could have done or said anything.

_And I apparently slept in Yama-chan’s bed._

_We haven’t done that in years…like since we were sixteen, seventeen, or something…_

His heart stopped. The reason he’d insisted on them no longer sharing a bed coming to the forefront of his mind.

_Did I say anything? Do anything?_

_Oh my God. What if…what if…._

_Stop it._

_Nothing happened._

_I mean I read that thing about guys who are drunk…so yeah…nothing happened, and I probably didn’t say anything._

_No…surely not, since Yama-chan is acting normal, there’s no way._

He looked beside him, shifting to take in the bed, and he was positive that Ryosuke had slept there with him, the pillow beside his still holding the shape of someone’s head having been there—though he couldn’t make out any details in his blurry memories, which made him beyond frustrated.

In thinking over the night, all he really could come up with was a strong sense of contentment. Nothing else, not even really anything negative or worrisome, so he decided if he did anything stupid they would most certainly tell him, repeatedly, about them.

_God, there’s probably videos._

He groaned, not particularly looking forward to work now. Though, he felt a sense of happiness, sitting there feeling comfort and joy at being taken care of by Ryosuke.

_It’s almost is enough make me able to dream that he could really love me._

_Maybe not that kind of love, but his own kind, and that’s enough._

_It has to be enough._

_I’ll always be happy with him the way he is, friendship is happy._

_Yes, I’m happy with him as a friend._

_Well, happy…probably not the right description…maybe, just thankful is enough, isn’t it?_

He stared at the pillow next to him, rolling over and burying his face in it, inhaling deeply of the scent that was all Ryosuke, and smiling.

_It’s enough._

* * *


	5. Death by Chinen (Ainoarika Video Filming, 2013–includes Yuto)

 

 

 

Song Inspiration:

## 

## 

##  **December 18, 2013**

* * *

Ryosuke bolted up in bed, confused, rubbing his eyes, and then he realized his cellphone was buzzing on the nightstand. He reached over, his heart thrumming in his chest when he saw Yuri’s picture lighting up the screen.

“What’s wrong?” his didn’t try to temper the panic in his voice, his feet hitting the floor, ready to move, his breath caught in his throat when all he could hear was Yuri crying softly.

“Yuri!” he stood up, turning, his eyes darting around the room, trying to figure out where his wallet was, “What’s wrong, what’s going on?”

“I—I…something…happened….”

“What?” Ryosuke was rushing through the living room, grabbing his wallet off the kitchen counter, then his keys by the door, darting out the doorway to his car, “I’m on my way, are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you bleeding?”

“N-no…”

“Okay,” Ryosuke started the car, putting on his seatbelt and began driving toward Yuri’s house which was blessedly only about ten minutes from his, likely faster thanks to his concern and that there was no traffic on the roads at two in the morning, “I’m on my way, okay? What happened, Yur?”

“I…I didn’t think about it…and then they…and I thought…I just…it’s horrible,” Yuri wailed in the phone and all Ryosuke could imagine were the million tragic things that might have happened, his skin cold from sweat as he sped up.

“I’m almost there.”

“O-okay.”

When Ryosuke pulled into the driveway he tried to get out of the car, nearly choking himself on the seatbelt, cursing it as he disengaged and finally stepped out onto the driveway, moving quickly up the walk to the front door, knocking on it, “Yuri! It’s me!”

The door opened wide, and Yuri was standing there, his Cars pajamas loose, a knit cap on his head, and tears streaming down his face, “Yama-chan…I…I…”

Ryosuke stepped into the house when he burst into tears, pushing the door closed, and then pulling him into a hug, “I’m here, you’re okay, it’s okay, Yuri, shhh…calm down.”

Yuri just cried harder at the soft tone of Ryosuke’s voice, his arms moving up to hold him tightly around the chest, his arms locked behind him, and he felt Ryosuke sway softly, his hand gentle on his back as he rubbed up and down, trying to soothe him.

Ryosuke started to shuffle them into the living room, hoping to somehow figure out what was happening, his eyes flitting around the room frantically looking for clues but finding none, “Yuri, you gotta tell me what’s happening, please, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

His hands released him, when he took a shuddering breath, pulling back out of his arms to stand in front of him, and Ryosuke wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a more pitiful Yuri and he’d seen this guy when he’d woken up from horrible nightmares, when he’d lost loved ones, or beloved pets, when he didn’t win at something he had his heart set on, but this…this was the worst of all of them, and he couldn’t begin to imagine what could have happened to cause him to be so broken.

He watched as Yuri’s hand trembled, reaching up to grab the knit hat that was wrapped around his head, and slowly he pulled it off, and Ryosuke blinked, his head tilting slightly, and then, when Yuri whimpered softly, his head falling down on his chest, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yuri…”

“Shut up! Don’t laugh! It’s the worst thing you could do!”

Ryosuke cleared his throat, trying to school his response, his voice, “I wasn’t laughing at you, I promise…I just…are you upset because of your haircut?”

“Upset?” Yuri cried out, throwing his hands up in the air, “Upset? No! I’m devastated! LOOK AT MY HAIR!”

His hands flew up into his hair, grabbing at the short ends of it and yanking upward making it spike out from his head, and Ryosuke tried, he really did try, but he couldn’t help it when he laughed again, which infuriated Yuri.

He growled, turning away from him and storming through the house, “Get out! I don’t want you here!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Ryosuke called out, still laughing, “I don’t understand, you look fine, what are you so upset about?”

“THIS!” Yuri turned before he could enter the hallway, pointing to his hair, “It’s a travesty and I don’t know how to fix it because we’re shooting the video in two days!!! TWO DAYS!!!”

The picture was starting to become clear for Ryosuke and as he looked at Yuri, standing there completely disheveled in his Cars pajamas, tears still wet on his face, yet completely irate about the condition of his hair, he admonished himself for the thought that spun through his mind that he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen him look more adorable.

_Maybe on his birthday._

_Yeah, that’s true…his birthday._

Ryosuke moved across the room, Yuri’s bottom lip jutting out as he approached him, “I think your hair looks good.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Yuri hissed, his frown deepening.

“I don’t lie to you, Yuri, you know this,” Ryosuke stated plainly, “I don’t know what your problem is, it’s different, sure, but…I mean, it looks fine, you look really good.”

Yuri’s eyes snapped to his, “You don’t like me with short hair, you said that when we were filming ‘Ride with Me’ and they styled it with all of it pushed back and made it look short on the sides! You told me you didn’t like it!”

“I’m sure that’s not exactly what I said,” Ryosuke frowned, knowing precisely what he’d said, and that was pretty close to it, and he also knew why the words had blurted out but not really wanting to address it.

That entire shoot had been a challenge thanks to how absurdly gorgeous Yuri had looked in the white suit they’d put him in and then he had to dance some of the most engaging parts in front of him instead of behind—it just meant that he had to keep his head straight which put him in a solemn mood thanks to trying to keep his head in the game and do his job properly.

“You said, ‘I don’t know if I like it’ and then you left the room without another word!” Yuri snapped, reaching over to shove Ryosuke’s shoulder for emphasis.

_I did say that. I did…because he looked so much older, so much more mature, and I don’t want other people to see him the way I do. I don’t want anyone to see him as anything other than tiny Yuri—no one needs to see what I see._

_So selfish, so utterly selfish._

_I love him, it’s not selfish._

_I can’t even care, I don’t want to watch him fall in love with someone and die from the pain, I can’t imagine it._

“I…okay…I guess I did say that, but it’s not what I meant, I didn’t mean it like the way it sounded…”

“I don’t know how it could be misinterpreted,” Yuri stated firmly, “I didn’t misunderstand it.”

“You did, though, but…I mean…Yuri—I like you no matter  _what_ you do with your hair,” Ryosuke felt like his throat had closed up at how clearly the statement had come out of his mouth, and a fear swelled up in him instantly that he’d just gone too far, but it was like Yuri didn’t take the meaning at all.

“That’s not what you said, and now look at me! I could have shaved my head and it would have been better than this horrifying mess!”

_You’d still be gorgeous._

Ryosuke grabbed Yuri’s shoulders, dragging him over to the couch and pushing him so he’d sit down, then he slid over the ottoman in front of him, plopping down on it and then forcing him to look into his eyes, “I like your hair, you look great, and you can wear your hair any way you want it! Besides, your hair grows so fast it will be back to your normal style in a month if you decide you don’t like this style! It’s okay to try new things!”

_Just…please, don’t let others see what I do._

_Please, don’t let others see what I see in you._

“But the video is the day after tomorrow,” Yuri shook his head, “I meant to just have it trimmed, but she asked me about trying something different and I don’t know, I just thought…I hadn’t done anything new in a while—but I didn’t know she meant  _this!_ ”

“I think you look very good,” Ryosuke admitted, “I don’t mind it at all.”

“But…you like me with long hair,” Yuri whispered.

“And you like me with blonde hair, but I don’t leave it blonde all the time just because of that, right? It’s no different, is it?” Ryosuke couldn’t be bothered to dissect how weird this entire conversation was, he was too tired for that.

“Let me see,” Ryosuke leaned forward, pulling Yuri’s chin up, and then moving his hands through Yuri’s short hair, pulling and pushing and styling it and then leaning back to look at it, “Like I said, you look really good!”

_You always look really good._

Yuri stared at Ryosuke, looking for the lie in him and found none, “Really?”

“I promise,” Ryosuke smiled, “You look really good no matter how you wear your hair. This makes your eyes bright and shows off your cheeks, it makes you look a little older to be honest…not sure how I feel about that, but it does. I don’t mind it, you look great.”

“You really promise?”

‘Yes,” Ryosuke shifted, leaning forward, and despite meaning for it to feel more like he was making a sincere promise, the entire tone of the moment felt like something else, charged and electric with something between the two of him, yet he knew it was just wishful thinking.

Yuri held his breath as Ryosuke shifted forward toward him and in his mind, all he could think was how simple it would be to just close the distance between them, just let his feelings be known—but he knew that Ryosuke wasn’t thinking of him like that, pulling his lip between his teeth, biting it hard to keep from acting, feeling like the air was tingling against his skin.

Ryosuke’s eyes snapped to Yuri’s mouth where he drew his bottom lip inward, his top teeth biting into the plump, roundness, and he shifted, moving back before he did something he couldn’t take back, reaching up to ruffle Yuri’s hair, a playful gesture meant to dispel whatever strange aura was forming around them, standing up quickly and putting distance between the two of them.

Ryosuke stared at the floor between the two of them.

_I can’t keep doing this._

Yuri stared at the floor between the two of them.

_I can’t keep doing this._

* * *

## 

##  **December 19, 2013**

* * *

 

They’d been rehearsing the dance that for some reason management had decided, in all their infinite wisdom, it would make good sense to teach them the day before the actual video shoot for at least four hours. They were all exhausted and tired, but still excited because the dance was unique, and the costumes were gorgeous, and they were all very excited about the outcome…how amazing the video was bound to be as long as they could pull off the dance.

They were sprawled out across the practice room, drinking water and catching their breath. Ryosuke had backed up against one of the mirrored walls, drawing up his knees to rest his arms on them as he bowed his head down, tired from the late night before. Yuri had offered for him to just spend the night but to him, well, he couldn’t see how spending that kind of time together would make things any easier to deal with at this point.

He had no idea what he was going to do, but he needed a game plan because his feelings were slowly becoming nearly overwhelming. His mind drifted back, over and over again, to Yuri’s birthday, to that moment when he’d touched his lips to Yuri’s skin, when Yuri had curled around him, the way he felt, the way he smelled, the way he looked.

_Fuck. Stop it! You’re working._

He kept his head down, opening his eyes to stare at the gray floor, not looking up when he heard some of the guys talking, others moving, and the music started back up, someone moving in front of the mirror to practice the dance further.

It only took Ryosuke a moment to feel the connect, and he realized it was Yuri. He lifted his head, discovering him staring at the mirror with great concentration, pacing through his dance moves fluidly, the muscles of his abdomen stretching the tight white t-shirt he was wearing, the loose-fitting sweatpants falling down slightly as he moved, the tiniest sliver of skin showing between the two when he would raise his arms, and Ryosuke couldn’t stop the way he had to lick his lips, needing to feel some kind of sensation.

_Stop watching him, for the love of God._

He tried, he ordered himself in no uncertain terms to stop watching him, but he just couldn’t, his eyes fixated on his movements, on the way his hips moved, and then his body waved as he slid backward, and there was nothing more breathtaking in the world than when Yuri was dancing with confidence, watching him move his body in perfect precision with the music—clearly not needing any further practice, but determined to do this best.

The more Ryosuke watched the more convinced he became that the choreographers were actually trying to kill him between ‘Ride with Me’ and this…clearly there was a conspiracy of some sort because not only did they give Yuri a lot of really amazing dance moves, nearly all of them happened when he was in front of Ryosuke, not when he was in back.

_They’re definitely out to kill me._

_Death by Chinen._

_What a way to go, though…_

His head snapped to the side when someone bumped into him, having been so lost in his own thoughts he didn’t even notice Yuto approach. He watched as he slid down the glass to sit next to him, and when he turned his eyes to him he saw they were lit with amusement.

“If you keep staring at him like that,  _everyone_  is going to know how you feel about him,” Yuto whispered, laughing softly as he turned to look up at Yuri.

“Shut up!” Ryosuke hissed, shoving Yuto with his shoulder.

Yuto laughed, shoving him back, and then wrapped his arm around his shoulder, “Why haven’t you talked to him?”

“It’s not the right time.”

“When  _is_  the right time?”

“I don’t know,” Ryosuke admitted, sighing as he bent his head down.

“I’m no expert in things, so I mean, I can’t tell you what to do, but…Yama-chan…you need to figure out what the right time is…or…you may end up with no time at all.”

Ryosuke turned his head to look up at Yuto who was still looking at Yuri, his head slowly turning to look at Ryosuke, “I don’t want either of you to miss out on what could have been.”

Ryosuke nodded, looking back up at Chinen and part of him wanted to just scramble forward right then and there and wrap himself around his legs and beg him to love him. He knew it was impossible, but the need was so strong he had to clench his fists, turning to look at Yuto, his voice full of absolution, “I’m going to figure it out.”

Yuto studied him, and then nodded, “Good.”

* * *

## 

  
  


##  **December 20, 2013**

* * *

Yuri turned the corner, adjusting his tie, nearly slamming into Ryosuke, whose hands shot out to grab his arms to steady him.

“Yuri!” Ryosuke took a step back, and then his eyes moved across him, and Yuri felt like the look was so intimate, so telling, but then he admonished himself, because that was stupid.

Ryosuke couldn’t breath, his entire body frozen as he took in the way Yuri looked in the suit, the way his skin tone was contrasted so beautifully, the way the red brought out the soft blush that always seemed to be there, the way it fit him just so, and his hair–it really did look great, dark and styled with gentle spikes, a contrast to the swirling velvet material of the suit.

“I-I am due to record in a minute,” Yuri felt frustrated by the way he’d suddenly started sweating, his entire being wanting to just grab Ryosuke and hold him for some reason–speaking softly, not wanting to be dismissive, but knowing he couldn’t be late.

“Of course!” Ryosuke nodded, shifting to the side so that Yuri could pass, “We’ll catch up in a little bit.”

“Alright!” Yuri called out, moving down the hallway toward the auditorium, shaking his hands out trying to make the tingling feeling fade.

Ryosuke watched him walk away, his eyes bright with affection.

_I knew he’d look gorgeous in red._

* * *

Ryosuke was preparing to film the scene, the carnation in his shaking hands, he admitted to Yuto that he was really nervous, that he didn’t like these kinds of scenes. Yuto shut off the camera, moving quickly forward to get his attention. Ryosuke bent down when he gestured to him that he wanted to tell him something.

“You just need to find the right motivation, the right thought to focus your attention to,” Yuto whispered in his ear.

Ryosuke pulled back, his expression confused, and then his eyes widened when Yuto mouthed ‘Yuri’ to him.

He nodded, understanding, and then it was simple, of course that’s what he needed to do. As he walked up on the platform, the orchestra playing in the background he set his mind to think of Yuri, of how he might smile if he confessed, imagining what they might say, what they might do.

“He’s cute, huh?” Yuto asked, causing Yuri to jump, his eyes leaving the monitor to glance at Yuto.

“What?”

“Yama-chan,” Yuto nodded back at the screen, looking intently at it, knowing that Yuri was still staring at him, “He’s cute, huh?”

“Y-yeah,” Yuri agreed, his cheeks flushing red at being caught watching Ryosuke on the screen in the private area, blurting out nervously, “He’s always cute.”

It was Yuto’s turn to look at Yuri who was fixated on the screen again, “I wonder what he’s thinking about? Surely, he is thinking about someone special, don’t you think?”

Yuri’s hands shook at the thought, not able to hide the response to the idea he was thinking of someone else, and his eyes drifted to Yuto’s, a pain seeping out despite him trying to not show it.

“Y-you think so?” Yuri frowned, his eyes cutting back to the screen, praying internally that he wasn’t thinking of anyone at all.

“You should ask him who he’s thinking of, I think it would be interesting to know…”

“O-okay,” Yuri nodded, confused by the idea, not really understanding why Yuto didn’t just ask him himself if he wanted to know so badly.

_I can’t handle him telling me someone’s name._

_I’ll die right then and there._

Yuto smiled at Yuri, patting his back, “I’ll leave you to it.”

_I shouldn’t mess with them, but my goodness, they’re never going to confess without some help!_

  
  


Ryosuke jumped when Yuto touched his shoulder. He had found a corner where two techs had been watching the filming on personal monitors, now absent having been called to another part of the auditorium for a different job, and he’d become fascinated with watching Yuri film his part of the rap.

_He is so…so…hot._

There was no other word for it, he just was…somehow the attitude he was projecting, the way he was moving his body toward the camera, all of it—it just combined in a way that made him so hot it made Ryosuke practically tremble.

“Whatcha doing?” Yuto asked, leaning around Ryosuke to see the monitor, “Ah…I see.”

“What do you want, Yuto?” Ryosuke snapped, agitated at the interruption, refusing to stop watching the monitor, his eyes adamant that they would not be moved, “Don’t lecture me again, I know what you mean, I got it.”

“Actually, they sent me to find you because you have to film your rap part next,” Yuto laughed lightly, “But now that you mention it, I thi—”

Ryosuke turned, laughing, as he shoved Yuto out of the way. They walked down the hallway, a comfortable silence between the two, and Yuto discreetly turned on his camera. Filming when Ryosuke went through the doorway, walking down the aisle as Yuri was walking up, and there in that moment, Yuto’s breath caught, as they passed one another, their eyes connecting, and their hands reaching out, their fingers touching one another so quickly it was like it hadn’t even happened, but Yuto knew it did.

_Wait._

__What?_  
_

He stared, dumbfounded as Yuri brushed by him, turning to watch him walk down the hallway, disappearing into the room they’d just walked out of, realizing he was going to watch Ryosuke film his part.

_Okay, surely, they haven’t always been this way, and I have just been stupid and not seen it?_

_Just because of Yuri’s birthday?_

_Suddenly, I notice this? What?!_

Yuto clicked stop on the camera, and then clicked the buttons to replay what he’d just filmed, slowing it down, watching it carefully. His heart stopping in his chest when he saw the moment, as if a delicate dance that had been rehearsed many times to exacting perfection, their heads moved, so slightly, and then their eyes shifted, connecting, their hands gliding so smoothly through the space between them, their fingers brushing against one another’s, and then slowly they moved away from one another as one went to work, and the other went to watch.

_It’s like they don’t even know they’re doing it…like it’s so normal to them they don’t realize it._

Curious, Yuto moved into the auditorium, sitting in one of the seats, moving through the footage he’d taken that day, and then gasped when he saw a moment when they were practicing the dance in the back room.

When they’d finished, Yuri moved from between the others, like a magnet to Ryosuke, and Ryosuke smiled at him, his hand holding out the water bottle he’d just taken a drink from, and Yuri took it from him, drinking deeply. 

Ryosuke’s eyes remained fixed on him as he drank, then his fingers reached out, like a blur, and his hand stroked Yuri’s hip, as he shifted behind him, around him, his fingers moving across his back, and then tenderly squeezing the other side of Yuri’s hip as he moved past him. Yuri’s body swayed as he turned, his eyes following Ryosuke as he moved through the group, and then he smiled, and it was a smile that was so beautiful it was breathtaking.

_They don’t even know._

_Those two idiots don’t even see it themselves._

When Ryosuke moved back toward him, Yuri watched him, taking another drink  before he held the bottle out to Ryosuke, who took it and tipped it up to drink the last of the water. Yuri stepped forward toward him, his hand drawing up to move a bit of hair off of Ryosuke’s forehead, a small gesture, but his hand moved, slowly through the hair behind his ear, brushing down his neck to his shoulder and then whispered across his skin to the hand that was holding the water bottle, taking it from his hand and telling him he’d throw it out.

_My God._

_They have no idea._

As he moved away, Ryosuke watched him walk, a grin on his face as his eyes moved with him, only looking away when one of the other members asked him a question.

“Damn,” Yuto muttered to himself.

_How long have they been like this and none of us noticed?_

_How long have they been like this and THEY haven’t even noticed?_

He hit play on another video, one he didn’t recognize and laughed when Yuri was talking quietly into the camera, speaking softly as he took video of Ryosuke on the couch, his eyes closed.

“Here we find in its natural habitat a wild Ryosuke, a strong, beautiful creature who makes the whole world shine brightly. Perhaps we’ll approach the wild Ryosuke and reveal some of his hidden talents to the world? Yes…yes…let’s…”

The camera jiggled as Yuri moved across the room, turning the view-finder around to look at it, making a silly face, and then making the ‘shh’ sign over his lips. He carefully placed the camera down on the chair and then gingerly attempted sit down next to Ryosuke without waking him up. 

He gave two thumbs up when Ryosuke seemed to continue to sleep despite him sitting down on the couch. He grinned at the camera, moving his hands in a way like someone on a game show might to showcase the prize others would win.

He’d just moved his arm again under Ryosuke’s face when he shifted, his eyes blinking slowly and then he tilted his head over, his eyes barely open, “Chii-chan….what’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Yuri smiled brilliantly, “Nothing really…just…showing the rare, exotic, wild Ryosuke to the world.”

“I see,” Ryosuke laughed softly, tilting his head up to see the video camera there, “I’m sure the world is fascinated with my sleeping habits.”

“You’re the cutest when you sleep,” Yuri announced emphatically like there was no chance anyone would disagree.

“Okay,” Ryosuke laughed softly.

“Care to show them the side of you only those who see you in your natural environment have the honor of seeing?”

“Sure,” he murmured, catching on quickly to Yuri’s intention, leaning over nearly on top of him so their heads were very close together, “You do it and I’ll follow.”

Yuri made a face and Ryosuke instantly mimicked it, followed by another and Yuto burst out laughing because it was so absurd. It was like Ryosuke could predict what he was going to do before he did it. 

_This is totally getting sent in for the documentary!_

_Not the other stuff…but the faces…for sure._

_That’ll teach Yuri about filming with my camera._

Yuto watched as Ryosuke walked off the stage, his eyes cast to the floor and all he could think was how complicated his life was at this point.

_I want to help…I don’t know what to do._

That said, Yuto knew he’d be digging through all of his videos this weekend to see how long it had been and what he’d overlooked for so very, very long–his mind bent around the idea of figuring it out and doing his very best to help them in any way he could.


	6. Together (Coming of Age Ceremony Evening aka “he stayed the night and never left” )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evening of the boys Coming of Age Ceremony, aka “he stayed the night and never left” (January 13, 2014)
> 
> Most of the images in the graphic are all from magazine scans from January 2014 =) The visual was beautiful to me! <3
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING AND LEAVING KUDOS AND COMMENTS AND OH MY GOLLY MAKING ME SMILE SO BIG!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

 

 

* * *

 

> Take time to realize  
>  That your warmth is  
>  Crashing down on me

It was like the entire world stopped spinning–and to Yuri, it felt as if he were still falling against gravity, holding his breath, waiting for the impact, the sudden slam into the Earth.

Ryosuke had stepped toward Yuri where he was standing.

Yuri had been looking out the window in the kitchen while drinking a glass of water, trying to clear his mind, to make all the myriad of conversations in his head stop, even if for only a moment,

_Today._

_Our coming of age._

His fingers ached to touch the tiny strip of paper in his pocket that he’d ripped off of the prayer before he’d tied it in place at the Temple. He wanted to pray again, to offer anything, everything he was for the chance, just once, one single moment of certainty–of absolution, he wanted to grab the paper and grab Ryosuke’s hands and make him pray for it, too. Somehow, to make them be in the same moment, in the same head space with each other and he knew, in his heart, he was positive they’d make sense of it.

_It would all fit right._

_We were made for each other._

_I can’t be wrong about this._

He wanted to tell Ryosuke about waking up this morning, going to the temple by himself, having spent weeks painstakingly creating the  _perfect_ prayer, on the perfect paper, with the perfect words and writing and thoughts and meanings and left nothing to chance, nothing. He’d spent three hours, before dawn, praying, helpless, there in the silence of the temple with only his tears to keep him company. 

Seeking words, seeking methods–anything that would help him see to this very day.

_If he only knew._

_If he only saw me._

_I’m here._

He wanted to beg Ryosuke to see the truth–because he’d waited, and he’d convinced himself to wait all of this time, all of these years, by having a date, a clear, fixed point in time when he’d have an answer, one way or another–but now that he was here, now that they were living out the partial script he’d long been writing for them–he was positively terrified.

Then he’d felt it.

He’d felt Ryosuke, felt his eyes on him, felt him hovering there behind him, somehow radiating uncertainty, yet, there was a subtle power flowing through him that Yuri didn’t recognize, didn’t fully understand, and when he turned, there was a fire in his eyes that he’d never seen before, not in all of the experiences they’d shared together, not even once had he ever recognized something close to this fierce determination that was burning him from within.

> Take time to realize  
>  That I am on your side  
>  Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you?

Ryosuke shifted forward, and it was as if Yuri’s body had a mind of its own, gravitating toward Ryosuke on instinct, turning to face him, like it was moving to a melody that was yet unheard by his own ears but being composed as the steps played them out–and his eyes, they were frozen, locked with Ryosuke’s as he closed the distance between them, his voice a whisper, his name falling from his lips like the soft wind on mountaintops, “Yuri.”

> But I can’t spell it out for you  
>  No, it’s never gonna be that simple  
>  No, I can’t spell it out for you

Yuri couldn’t blink, couldn’t react, when Ryosuke’s hand reached up, gently taking the glass from his hand, sparks lingering as if they’d ignited across his skin when their fingers brushed against each other, Ryosuke’s eyes never breaking their gaze as he reached to set it down on the counter beside them, the soft sliding of the glass away from the edge the only noise apart from the pounding in Yuri’s head of his own heartbeat.

> If you just realize what I just realized  
>  Then we’d be perfect for each other and we’d never find another

Yuri’s breath caught in his throat, his eyes breaking away from Ryosuke’s, painfully, shifting over to look at his hand there on the counter where he’d reached out to steady himself from the overwhelming flood of emotions rushing through him, his legs feeling wobbly, acknowledging that it was indeed his hand, but blinking because it seemed impossible.

_Is this real?_

> Just realize what I just realized  
>  We’d never have to wonder if we missed out on each other, now  

He whimpered, when the fingers resting on his hand squeezed his fingers gently, the sensation like a million whispers across his skin, his eyes snapping up to look at Ryosuke who hadn’t moved even a fraction of an inch, the resolution within him seeming to grow in intensity even as he watched, his form riveted to the same spot, in fact, it was hard to tell if Ryosuke was even breathing at this point.

> Take time to realize  
>  Oh, oh, I’m on your side  
>  Didn’t I, didn’t I tell you?  

“Ryosuke?” his name faded off, a million wonders, a billion whys, a trillion questions fighting for the breath to be spoken into existence, somehow begging him to acknowledge that the only person who could ever answer them, ever calm all of the always present emptiness, the only person who could ever give him what he needed was a single breath away–standing right in front of him.

> Take time to realize  
>  This all could pass you by  
>  Didn’t I tell you?

He watched as the onslaught of conflicting emotions rushed across Ryosuke’s face, and then his eyes snapped closed, clenched tightly shut, shaking his head, and to Yuri it looked like he was fighting a battle with his own inner demons–trying to subdue them, talk them down, slay them.

_Please._

He couldn’t be sure who was winning–and part of him wanted to grab Ryosuke, shake him, make him see the truth– _force him to see the truth_ –but that’s not how he wanted it, because in all of his dreams, in all of the many years of pining for him–it had to be his heart that molded to his shape, not coerced, never made to do anything other than merely fall.

_Please fall._

_Please, God, let him fall._

_Let me have this._

_I waited._

_Please._

> But I can’t spell it out for you  
>  No, it’s never gonna be that simple  
>  No, I can’t spell it out for you

He gasped, a shudder running through his frame, when Ryosuke’s eyes snapped open, and within seconds he felt his body being pushed backward, his back hitting the kitchen wall, and Ryosuke was pressing forward into him, his face so close to his he could feel his breath rushing across his lips, and Yuri’s head hit the wall, his eyes blinking rapidly, his heart thrumming wildly in his chest as he tried to make sense of what was happening–terrified this wasn’t what he wanted it to be–what he needed so desperately for it to be.

> If you just realize what I just realized  
>  Then we’d be perfect for each other and we’ll never find another

Yuri struggled to breathe, tried to make sense of the world as it was suddenly spinning around him, and he tried to articulate it, tried to form words, needed to be sure, the question strange in his mouth, “Y-you…”

> Just realize what I just realized  
>  We’d never have to wonder if we missed out on each other, but  

“God!” Ryosuke’s voice was so loud, so abrupt, making Yuri flinch as his hand flew past him to slam into the wall beside his head with a crash, a unique incidence of loss of self-control, Ryosuke’s voice tainted with the pain of a man on fire, the words thick and heavy in the air between them, “Can you not see? See the truth? Yuri, please?”

> It’s not the same  
>  No, it’s never the same  
>  If you don’t feel it, too  

His head shifted down, resting on Yuri’s shoulder, his breath shuddering against his neck, and Yuri held completely still for a moment, trying to gather himself, his thoughts, and then suddenly he realized that was what was wrong with everything in his life now.

_Thinking too much._

_Worrying too much._

_Hyper analyzing things._

_Hyper analyzing EVERYTHING._

_I’m the thing standing in the way now._

_The prayer said “let me have this” and now…_

_I can have it._

_If I let myself._

_If I just will._

> If you meet me half way  
>  If you would meet me half way  
>  It could be the same for you  

_Be brave_

_Do it for him._

_He does everything for you._

_You can do this for him._

His hands lifted, shaking violently as he willed them to obey him, feeling like a man who was taking the first step on the moon. Moving forward into an unknown place, not just unknown or uncharted, but truly never experienced, never dreamed of, never even touched upon, and certainly, never entertained on any real level of understanding.

He bit his lip as he cursed his hands, for their lack of discipline, for the way they wanted to move away instead of forward, watching as if someone else was making them move in relief, as they came to rest on Ryosuke’s back, sighing softly as his fingers finally splayed outward as he held him, as he drew him closer still, pulling him into a hug, his eyes closing in satisfaction as he felt the shuddering breath and he heard the sound, the breaking, felt the hot tears fall on his neck as Ryosuke leaned into him, his body trembling as the emotions flooded through his being.

> If you just realize what I just realized  
>  Then we’d be perfect for each other and we’ll never find another  
>  Just realize what I just realized  

“I love you,” Yuri whispered, not understanding where the words came from, shocking himself at the bluntness of the statement, lacking buildup or eloquence in the delivery–rather, he didn’t even fully know how he’d even formed them to speak, but he didn’t have any regrets. He found his heart light at the sound of them in the air between the two of them–thankful that the words had clawed their way out of his throat, suddenly feeling more sure of this moment than anything else in the universe, he reiterated, the words coming so easily now, “ _I do_. I love you, Ryosuke.”

> We’d never have to wonder  
>  Just realize what I just realized  
>  If you just realize what I just realized  

“P-please, Y-Yuri…Do-don’t s-say it if–if it’s not t-true,” Ryosuke’s voice was soft, broken, sobbing, as he tried to breathe, tried to hold himself together, somehow convinced that the next word would be “but” or “except” or “although”, and he kept his face buried there against Yuri’s neck, refusing to look at him, hiding from him, from what he might find there, terrified he would never be able to take another breath if it was a lie or he was going to add to the statement something that would break everything beyond repair.

> Missed out on each other now

“I love you.”

Ryosuke’s hand shifted from where it was still touching the wall, moving slowly down until he touched Yuri’s shoulder, grabbing onto his shirt, fingers clenched, his knuckles white.

Yuri held him, his fingertips moving up to run through the edge of his hair, cradling his head against him, his voice tender with affection, “I love you with all my heart and soul.”

> Missed out on each other now

“ _I love you, Ryosuke._ ”

This time, Yuri didn’t move, didn’t flinch, didn’t even blink when Ryosuke jerked back from him, his eyes wide, his expression pained, his eyes searching for an answer, for a confirmation that the words were real, not just some illusion that his imagination had finally produced from his ongoing need for this exact reality.

> Realize, realize, realize, realize    

Yuri moved his hands, slowly, cautiously–as if he were afraid to startle Ryosuke out of this moment, not wanting him to shy away, but desperately _needing_  him to see the truth, to see him–he brought them up between the two of them, his fingers touching Ryosuke’s cheeks tenderly, marveling at how soft the skin was and then his eyes snapped to his, “I love you.”

The words were absolute.

There was no waver, there was no lie in them, and Ryosuke had no choice but to see the truth, as Yuri had done nothing but bare his very soul to him in that moment, every weakness, every shortcoming, every single moment of his life that had led to this single page in time, it was reflected there in his eyes, wanting Ryosuke to verify the truth, to believe him, to know, to truly and finally see.

“I have loved you for  _so long_ ,” Ryosuke’s voice was shaking, a tear sliding slowly down his cheek, one of his hands moving, gripping Yuri’s wrist, squeezing it, taking a shuddering breath.

Yuri raised his other hand, grazing slowly across his cheek, smoothing away the tear as his lips curved into an understanding smile, blinking away his own tears, his fingers running across his jaw and behind his ear, his fingertips sliding through Ryosuke’s hair as he cupped his head, drawing him forward, and he saw it–in fact, he understood it, the fear, the concern, the uncertainty that tainted Ryosuke’s face.

This would change everything.

There would be no undoing it once it was done.

They wouldn’t be able to pretend.

They wouldn’t be able to go back to how things were.

This…this would make everything different.

It would change everything.

For good or bad. 

_Forever._

Still, in that moment, Yuri couldn’t bring himself to remotely care, not at all.

_I want this._

He was going to have it, even if there was hell to pay for it.

_I’ll pay it._

All of the worries, all of the fears, all of the unknowns, all messy and ugly as they ran chaotic through his mind–he saw the same thoughts in Ryosuke’s eyes, yet, he  _knew_ , maybe even understood, he  _had_ to know, had to be sure enough, had to be certain enough for both of them– _this can work_ –this could be it, they could do this, and they could find happiness, they could have this, it could be theirs.

_Me and you._

“It’s okay,” Yuri whispered, surprised when he felt a tear falling down his cheek, his eyes bright as he tried to make Ryosuke understand, “It’s…it is, it really is okay…”

He saw the hesitation, the way Ryosuke’s head shook ever so slightly, and he saw it before it happened, knew that Ryosuke was going to run, he saw it when he decided it–but he wouldn’t let him go, instead, he pulled harder, insistently on Ryosuke, his heart clenched, feeling like it was breaking under the understanding of all of the obstacles that were standing in between the few inches dividing them.

“Stop,” Yuri whispered, begging, “ _Please, stop_.”

He felt Ryosuke frozen there under his gaze, “You don’t have to do everything…you don’t have to do it all by yourself.”

Yuri tried to think of the words, tried to figure out how to make him understand–and somehow, he wanted to just scream it out loud–

_I SEE YOU._

_I KNOW YOU._

_I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK._

_I SEE HOW YOU HOLD EVERYTHING TOGETHER._

_I SEE HOW YOU STAND SOLID FOR THE REST OF US._

_I SEE WHAT YOU DO._

_I SEE THE SACRIFICES._

_I SEE WHAT YOU FEEL._

_I SEE YOU._

“ _I see you_ ,” Yuri said the words with such conviction, such power that Ryosuke trembled under the weight of them, “I know…I know…please, hear me.”

He wanted to fall to his knees and beg him, all of his worries and concerns and reasons why this was the worst idea falling away to the only remaining truth–he wanted to make this boy happy.

_It’s all I want._

“You don’t have to be alone,” Yuri murmured, his fingers twirling the ends of Ryosuke’s hair, then gripped his neck to make sure he wouldn’t be able to move away from him, “You don’t have to suffer, deny yourself, always be alone to be our Ace.”

He wanted to take it back, wanted to say he was sorry when he saw the way the words stabbed Ryosuke, almost as if he could see the wound open and gaping before him, the way it visibly shook him, and he nodded, understanding, and Yuri felt confidence flow through him, because this was true,  _he knew it_ –bending his head, to force him to look into his eyes, the words more concrete now, “You don’t have to be alone. I don’t want you to be alone anymore. _I’m here_.”

_Please accept me._

_Please need me as much as I need you._

_Please._

Ryosuke tipped his head down, his body quivering as he struggled, and Yuri could feel it, he could feel the air between them charged with something new, something born out of all of the time that had led to this, directly into this moment, that they were both creating together, a new feeling, a new expression, and when Ryosuke lifted his head to look into his eyes again, he saw it–the crumbling, the slow fall into submission, into letting Yuri be sure enough for the both of them.

_I’ll show you._

_Every single day for all of my life._

“You _think_  too much,” Yuri whispered, grinning, watching Ryosuke’s shoulders loosen as he spoke the words he needed to hear, “You always think too much–take on all of the responsibility for everything all the time, but now,  _you can stop_ , let me help you– _I’ll handle this_ , we’ll sort it, but…don’t run anymore…I’m here.”

Ryosuke’s body shook with a strained laugh, and he  _wanted_ to run, he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there–and he knew he couldn’t hide it–he was fully aware that Yuri could see it, that he wanted to run away like every single time they’d danced around the feelings that had been growing between them, his voice barely audible, “I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be, I love you, and…besides…” Yuri spoke with such confidence, such assurance, Ryosuke tilted his head, “ _It’s me_.”

It was as if those simple words were enough to make Ryosuke quiet the whirlwind in his mind, everything going silent within the former chaos, and he blinked, frozen, the only words that mattered, the only ones that meant anything in this moment floating through his mind.

_It’s always been you._

Yuri saw his resistance falter, watched the blossoming hope, recognized the play of emotions as Ryosuke realized, this was real, it was happening, and when Yuri pulled against him, attempting to draw him forward he held still, pushing back against his hand, yet, Yuri wasn’t worried, he wasn’t afraid, because he could see it in Ryosuke’s eyes– _the truth_.

“I’ve got you,” Yuri whispered, “I’ll take care of you, we’ll take care of each other now,” and this time, when he pulled against him, after a single breath, Ryosuke moved forward willingly, and when their lips met, they were so soft, so tender on his own, his eyes fluttering closed even though he really wanted to keep them open, and Ryosuke groaned, his fingers moving to grab Yuri’s head, pulling him toward him as he opened his mouth, his lips gliding across his own smoothly, everything in the world feeling quiet and peaceful, as the words Ryosuke couldn’t seem to say were made transparent through this kiss.

Yuri couldn’t help but think how absurdly  _normal_  this was. 

That it was so stupidly  _normal_ , soinsanely _easy_ , so utterly  _natural_.  

He always thought that there was some skill involved, some knowing, some need to learn, but it felt so perfectly innate, so perfectly  _perfect_ , as if the only purpose of his existence was to be in this very moment with Ryosuke.

Yuri sighed, breathless as Ryosuke took the lead as he’d  _always_  known he would, guiding him, and making a complex situation so very simple–and Yuri knew, it was just as it was meant to be, perfection, and it was only that way because it was Ryosuke.

When the kiss deepened, the intimate slow dance drawing them together, everything about the movements lingering and purposeful, the give and take and the way the sensations seemed to captivate all of their senses, spreading like whispers fluttering, light touches brushing across awakened skin, their souls singing in perfect harmony.  As the depth of feeling and emotions layered together, the two of them created the most beautiful moment in time, at the very start of all things they would remember about this day, about the truth of their confession. 

As Yuri felt Ryosuke pressing against him, drawing him closer, into him, sheltering him, felt his heart beating wildly in time with his own, his thoughts became lost in the nearly overwhelming feeling of love that was enveloping him, of the way the air around him felt somehow softer, that all of the concerns he’d ever had were completely lost in that moment–and in the most beautiful of ways, the two of them came to experience their first kiss just as they’d experienced a million other firsts in their lives.

_Together._

* * *


	7. Real (Post Confession 24-hours)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Post Confession 24-hours)

##  ****

##  **January 13, 2014**

It was the kind of kiss you got lost in, the kind that was slow at the start, cautious, and then it gave way to layers of emotions, one building on the next, until somehow it was laced with a distinct intensity unmatched by other experiences in life. A flowing work in motion, tangled hands discovering the world anew–every motion trailing sparks along their skin, every caress seemingly imbued with an ancient magic that awakened every sense.

It seemed to them that everything within their reach was moving with a slow and purposeful grace, and yet, the world and all of the colors and sounds and forces that move nature to create scenes of beauty and destruction spun in the ether surrounding them–held back by the power of their confession–by the words that were spoken into life, into being, with tears and with laughter–imprinted upon their hearts in a permanent way, indelible and impossible to remove, yet, words that neither would be able to quote no matter how they tried as if the language they used was not one of their design, but instead, one of their very souls.

These words, delivered into the world with such emotion, such simple truthfulness–that instead of either of them capable of taking mental notes of what was said in detail–their souls seemed to greet one another, draping the words as a mantle around them, enveloping them in the soft, safe cocoon of feelings they were surrounded by.

_Acceptance._

_Hope._

_Joy._

_Desire._

_Protection._

_Need._

_Certainty._

_Absolution._

_Clarity._

_Passion._

…and more than any other, the one feeling that was like a new layer of skin across their bodies, across their souls, was the impossible to describe truth of such complete and breath-taking love.

_Unconditional._

_Unconditional in every way._

They knew each other, they knew the worst parts of one another–in fact, they knew it better than maybe anyone else on the planet, because they’d had just that kind of friendship. The kind where you could say the worst things, be the terrible person you took great care to hide from others, but revealed to that one you trusted, and the other accepted, waited it out, and didn’t ever try to change you, or make you feel badly for being so completely human.

They weren’t the idols with one another, no, not at all, they were the most ordinary humans to be found–yet, in this moment, as they gasped for breath, laughing lightly as they reluctantly broke their first kiss, drew each other into a powerful embrace–in this moment? They felt like gods–two ethereal beings who had somehow managed to form a completely new world with one broken moment of confession.

When Ryosuke drew back from Yuri’s arms, his face still wet with tears, his hands raising to hold his cheeks in his hand, Yuri’s hands snapped up to grab his wrists, his eyes twinkling in happiness as he smiled, “This really happened? This is real? You…you and…I…we’re…”

“This is  _real_ ,” Ryosuke smiled, leaning forward, testing a soft kiss on Yuri’s lips–a different one than before–slow, and careful, drawing back, unable to contain his smile that seemed to radiate between them, “I–I can’t believe it.”

“Me either,” Yuri agreed, his eyes bouncing across Ryosuke’s face, trying to memorize it, trying to remember this for his whole life, this moment where they both stood with the days ahead of them stretched out like lovely pages of a book waiting for them to fill each blank space with all of their adventures, with the story of their life together.

Yuri’s eyes moved over Ryosuke’s shoulder to the counter where his phone had made a chiming sound, but Ryosuke didn’t move, instead, his fingers ran through Yuri’s hair, his eyes moving across his face, taking him in, trying to convince himself that it was all real.

When the phone chimed again, Yuri looked at Ryosuke, smiling, “Should you…”

“It’s Yuto,” Ryosuke grinned, shrugging.

“Yuto?” Yuri tilted his head.

“He…I guess it’s right to say he’d figured it all out,” Ryosuke answered, laughing as Yuri’s eyes widened.

“He figured it out?”

Ryosuke hummed softly, “Yes, and today before he left he told me that it was a now or never moment…he…he gave me a lot of courage, told me some stuff…” Ryosuke took a deep breath, the memory of the conversation playing through his mind, and he knew he would need to do something to make sure Yuto know how much his support meant tot him, he looked back up at Yuri, “Well, I mean he told me some stuff I really needed to hear–he’s the reason…well, I mean, without him–it might have been ten more years.”

“I see,” Yuri couldn’t help but laugh, gesturing to the phone again when it made a sound, “You should probably let him know…”

Ryosuke nodded, his hand on Yuri’s hip not moving as he twisted to grab his phone, sliding his thumb across it to unlock it as he turned back to face Yuri, his eyes bright with humor as he read the messages, turning the screen around to show Yuri.

 

> **Yutti-Patootie:** And then…..
> 
> **Yutti-Patootie:**  Seriously…Yama-chan…did you do what I said?
> 
> **Yutti-Patootie:**  Please tell me you did…please?

Yuri burst out laughing, grabbing the phone from Ryosuke, “Does he know you have him labeled as ‘ _Yutti-Patootie_ ’ in your phone?”

Ryosuke blinked, and then laughed because he wasn’t sure, “I don’t know, actually…” he shuffled to lean against the wall next to Yuri, “What…what do I say?”

Yuri turned to lean his shoulder on the wall, studying Ryosuke’s face, “The  _truth_.”

Ryosuke nodded, humming, and then grinned, “We can at least mess with him first, can’t we?”

Yuri caught on instantly agreeing as they set up a picture to send to Yuto.

 

> **Yutti-Patootie:**

They laughed when the image loaded, and Ryosuke thought maybe he shouldn’t tease Yuto after all of the support he’d given him but he just couldn’t resist.

 

> **Yutti-Patootie:**  

**Yutti-Patootie:**  WAIT, WAIT!!!! Does this mean…I mean…like  _did you_? Like did you tell him and he…did this happen? DID IT!?!?!

 

> **Yutti-Patootie:**  OH MY GOD I AM SCREAMING HERE I AM DYING I AM LITERALLY DYING  _DID YOU TWO ACTUALLY KISS_!? Like a real true kiss!? Is that what you are telling me?! IS IT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME?
> 
> **Yutti-Patootie:**  IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME!?
> 
> **Yutti-Patootie:**  OH MY GOD PLEASE TELL ME! IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME!? 

Yuri burst out laughing, “Oh my gosh! He wants to know if we  _kissed_ or not!”

Ryosuke laughed too, reaching over to touch Yuri’s cheek as he turned his head to look at him, “Yuto is okay, he’s known my feelings since your birthday…probably before that…but that’s when I knew he knew…” 

Yuri’s eyes widened at this news, glancing back at the phone, Ryosuke touched his shoulder, “You don’t have to worry, he’s not going to tell anyone.”

Yuri shoved him lightly, “That’s not what I’m worried about!”

“Then what?”

“It’s just…” Yuri shook his head, “It’s so _embarrassing!_ ”

 

> **Yutti-Patootie:**  IF HE IS EMBARRASSED THEN IT IS TRUE IT IS TRUE ISN’T IT!?! IT IS TRUE OMG OMG OMG OMG

> **Yutti-Patootie:**  I AM CRYING LIKE BAWLING MY EYES OUT OVER HERE AND I CAN NOT BELIEVE AND I AM JUST OMG OMG OMG 
> 
> **Yutti-Patootie:** Give me a minute, I need to process.
> 
> **Ryosuke:**  lol okay, calm down–everything’s gonna be okay lol

Ryosuke laughed grabbing Yuri’s hand and dragged him out of the kitchen into the living room, pulling him down to sit next to him.

Yuri twisted to look at Ryosuke, tilting his head, “Does it still feel impossible to you?”

Ryosuke glanced from his phone up to Yuri, humming softly and then nodding, “It does.”

Yuri drew his legs up onto the couch, tucking them under him as he turned to face Ryosuke, his eyes were wide as he stared at Ryosuke who had no idea what he was doing. 

Yuri didn’t speak, just moved his hands up to touch Ryosuke’s hair, running his fingers through the soft strands, his fingernails sliding on his scalp softly, causing Ryosuke to close his eyes for a moment, humming quietly. When Yuri moved his hands to run his thumbs across his eye brows he opened his eyes again, studying him, but he wasn’t paying a bit of attention to Ryosuke, the entirety of his attention was focused on his fingers as they moved down his face to touch his ears, his fingers tracing the edges of them, and then moving forward to touch his cheeks.

His finger smoothed across the surface, and then he drew his thumbs down to touch his lips, softly and gently with great reverence, and then down his neck to his shoulders.

Ryosuke shuddered, hoping that Yuri wouldn’t notice, because the attention was more than he’d ever known in his life from anyone apart from his family, and this was  _nothing_  like that. He could feel his heart thrumming wildly in his chest and he knew there was no way Yuri couldn’t feel it. Though, kindly, if he did, he didn’t comment, just ran his fingers across his shoulders, then grazed slowly down his arms, his fingertips squeezing softly as he memorized the way the muscles felt under his hands.

When he reached Ryosuke’s hands he picked one of them up, pulling it toward him, turning it over and back again, tracing the veins and then he looked down, placing the hand on his own hip.

He did the same with the other, and once he finished, his head bent forward, and somehow he seemed to curl up into a tiny ball as Ryosuke’s hands drew him closer still until he was sitting on his lap, as Yuri shifted to lay his head on Ryosuke’s chest, his ear pressed to his heart.

Ryosuke’s hand moved slowly up Yuri’s back, sliding through his hair as he held him there, and when Yuri hummed contentedly he felt his eyes flutter closed in satisfaction, leaning his head down to rest his cheek on Yuri’s hair.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, somehow it felt like forever, and yet, it still wasn’t long enough, when Yuri shifted, rolling over onto his back, his legs stretching out behind him as he looked up at Ryosuke from his place on his lap.

Ryosuke reached down and stroked his cheek, smiling, “What did you decide?”

“It’s real,” Yuri grinned, turning his head to kiss Ryosuke’s palm quickly before he drew it to his chest, holding it tightly against his heart, “See?”

Ryosuke hummed, leaning forward, curling his body inward, pressing his lips against Yuri’s so softly, so gently, almost a whisper against his sensitive skin, and their eyes remained open, staring at one another, truly seeing one another, and then Yuri’s hands grabbed him, pulling him closer and Ryosuke let him, his arms wrapping around him to pull him up to hug him, squeezing him tightly, “I  _do_  see.”

He drew back, holding Yuri up in his arms, and he was moments from kissing him again, maybe multiple times when his phone chimed. He rolled his eyes, “This is how it will be now, isn’t it?”

“Probably,” Yuri admitted, the message tone sounding again before he reached his hand to grab Ryosuke’s phone out of his back pocket and holding it up to him.

Ryosuke opened the phone and then turned it around so Yuri could see the messages.

 

> **Yutti-Patootie:**

> **Yutti-Patootie:**  I really mean it, guys, I can’t even tell you, I am just really happy for you, and I know you know, but remind Chii-chan, he doesn’t need to worry about me telling anyone or anything, I swear
> 
> **Ryosuke:**  He knows, thanks Yutti–I don’t think we’d be here if it were not for you
> 
> **Yutti-Patootie:**  Shut up! Go do coupley type things together and have a good first day of officially being adults

Yuri shifted, grabbing the controller off the table beside them, quickly turning on the TV, “Can I pick the movie?”

“Absolutely not,” Ryosuke shook his head, trying to grab the remote from him, but he was entirely too fast.

“Why not?!” Yuri huffed, crossing his arms, his hand around the remote with a death grip.

“Because I know what you’re going to pick, you pick the same three movies, and they are all animated…”

“They’re classics…what do you have against that?”

Yuri stuffed the remote under his leg and then held his fist up on top of is flat hand, “We’ll play for it.”

Ryosuke sighed, part of him knowing he would lose, because he always loses janken, but at the same time, maybe since things seemed to be going his way, perhaps this would be the one time that he won.

It wasn’t.

Ryosuke found himself wide awake, his eyes fixated on Yuri who was currently sprawled out on the couch, his head resting on a pillow in his lap, his breath coming out in adorable little puffs as he slept. He’d made it about halfway through the movie before he’d grabbed a throw pillow and tossed it into Ryosuke’s lap, who watched wide-eyed as Yuri shifted quickly, twisting to lay down with his head on the pillow, his hands folded under his head between the pillow and Ryosuke’s leg, and without any words fell immediately to sleep.

Under ordinary circumstances, Ryosuke would be irritated since Yuri had won their janken battle, elated to pick a movie he knew that Ryosuke would never watch under ordinary circumstances—some animated film that Yuri adored. He had at least been somewhat distracted by watching Yuri’s reaction to the movie, but then when he’d made a huge display of yawning, Ryosuke didn’t take long to piece together what was going to happen next, and he’d been exactly right.

Still, even with Yuri asleep on the couch and the theme song to the movie playing over and over again, he just couldn’t be bothered. _Not tonight._  Maybe not ever again—because he had Yuri, he was right here, sleeping on his couch.

It wasn’t like he’d never seen Yuri do that before, and it also wasn’t like he did anything any different. He’d certainly slept in his lap a million times before tonight, but…somehow…this was like the first time he’d ever had the ability to fully see, to embrace every color in the spectrum. 

It felt like a night filled with all new experiences–all new moments–that despite having been seen and done a million times in the past, suddenly every moment held new meaning, new value, new memories, and Ryosuke was bent on relishing them one by one.

Ryosuke smiled when Yuri hummed in his sleep, his knees curling up toward his chest, and he wondered if he might be cold. He drew the throw blanket down off the back of the couch, trying to move as softly as he could to keep from waking Yuri, spreading the blanket out over his curled-up form, drawing it up to cover his shoulder and then biting his lip when his eyes landed on Yuri’s sleep filled ones looking up at him.

“I should go home,” Yuri mumbled, yet somehow his body seemed to curl into an even smaller ball as he drew the blanket up underneath his chin, as if burrowing closer to Ryosuke for warmth.

Ryosuke wanted to kiss him, again, but he settled for running his fingers through his hair, leaning over him to whisper, “We don’t have work tomorrow, you can just say  _here_ …tonight.”

The word ‘forever’ had flashed in front of his eyes but he knew that it might be too much at this point to say such things–though, clearly his psyche wasn’t interested in what was too much or not—the floodgates had been opened and restraint was not in his subliminal mind’s vocabulary.

_Take your time._

_Calm down._

_We have a lifetime._

“Okay,” Yuri murmured, nestling into Ryosuke’s leg.

“Well,” Ryosuke smiled down at him, “We should go to bed though.”

“I’m already here,” Yuri spoke softly, lifting his head as if he were allowing Ryosuke to stand up.

“I thought…” Ryosuke watched as Yuri rolled his head, laying it back on his leg, blinking sleepily up at him.

“What?”

Ryosuke reached down to touch Yuri’s cheek, “You don’t have to sleep on the couch, that’s all. There’s room…if you…I mean, in my b-bed…there’s plenty of space…”

Yuri’s eyes widened a little bit for a moment, and then he sat up, swaying from his sleepiness, his voice cute and child-like, “I can sleep there?”

“Sure?” Ryosuke nodded, reaching over to hold his arm, afraid he was going to fall off the couch any second, then concerned he might have the wrong idea, “I mean, just to…sleep, I wouldn’t want to… _you know_ …just…”

“Shut up, I know that, dummy, and yes, I want to,” Yuri nodded, and then slowly, he laid back down on the couch again, his head back in Ryosuke’s lap, eyes fluttering closed.

“Yuri!” Ryosuke spoke softly, but firmly, and he blinked up at him, “Hmm?”

“Let’s go to bed then.”

“O-Okay…” the word drew out into a long, loud yawn.

Ryosuke smiled, nudging Yuri who furrowed his brows without opening his eyes, “You have to get up though.”

“I don’t  _want_  to,” Yuri shook his head, frowning.

Ryosuke laughed, because this was so…so… _Yuri_ …and he knew that this was how he was once he’d fallen asleep, so he wiggled, shifting until he was able to move out from under him, standing up to look at him, “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“I’m _always_  cute,” Yuri announced, his voice muffled from the blanket he’d drawn up to his face, curling up further.

“You are,” Ryosuke admitted, leaning over and pulling him up into his arms. Yuri rolled into him, one arm grabbing around his neck as he moved through the room to the hallway.

“Thank you, Ryosuke,” Yuri whispered, his breath soft on his cheek.

“For what?” Ryosuke couldn’t see his face to read what kind of tone he meant the words in.

“For loving me,” Yuri whispered, not releasing Ryosuke’s neck as he laid him down on the bed.

“You’re easy to love,” Ryosuke whispered, kissing him quickly and then forcing his arm down, moving his legs so he could draw the covers up to his chin, “Now, sleep.”

“You, too.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

Ryosuke watched as he fell back to sleep, only moments passing, and then he smiled, because not only was Yuri the cutest, he was now sleeping in his bed, not as another Jump member, not as just a friend, but as his boyfriend–as the boy he loves.

_My boyfriend._

The word ‘boyfriend’ seemed entirely too cliche, and altogether too simple of a word to encapsulate the entirety of their relationship, but he wasn’t sure what else to call him.

_Soulmate._

That would do, but he was positive the word would sound too much to anyone, particularly to Yuri, so he would only allow himself to think it moving forward, but not speak it…at least not yet.

_In good time._

It felt like a new world to him somehow, and he couldn’t help but smile the entire time while he took his shower and got dressed for bed.

_This is real._

_This has really happened._

He stopped at the door way to the bedroom, leaning against the edge, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the dim lighting in his bedroom. As the form on his bed came into focus, he raised his hand, pressing it against his chest where his heart was suddenly thrumming wildly.

_This is real._

_He’s really there._

He kept his hand there, on his chest, rubbing lightly as he crossed the room, looking down at where Yuri was asleep, curled up into a small ball, taking up barely any room at all–yet, to Ryosuke it was impossible to imagine him not being there now that he was. It was as if nothing in the room had been complete until now.

He knew he was being too over the top with his emotions, too far gone, but he didn’t really care, couldn’t even make himself care–because he’d told the truth, and he’d discovered the truth, and in a world full of so much chaos, confusion, hatred, and evils–they’d somehow ended up with the same truth at the same time.

They really did love each other.

_He loves me._

_I love him_.

_It’s okay to be who we really are now._

_To be who we really are together._

He knew it would be a process to let go of all of the barriers they’d built up between them…and no doubt, they’d be having to talk through a lot of problems they’d face…but tonight?

Nothing mattered.

If he lost his job, all of the things he’d worked so hard for–now, in this moment when he knew that he could have this, could have Yuri–could have a life with him? Well, he’d give up everything to see to it. He didn’t think that would ever happen, they’d be careful, and surely there was a lot they needed to figure out and discuss on how to handle things with Jump and the public and things–but they had time to figure it out–they spent so much time together already, and were already so close, he sincerely doubted anyone would notice unless they were completely overt about it.

He couldn’t be bothered by any of it right now, not when he was looking down at Yuri, so sweet, so peaceful, so  _right_. So perfectly right, laying there under his comforter, on his pillows, in his house, in what he suddenly wanted to be _their_ house.

_You have to calm down, you’re going to scare him to death._

He knew his intensity was too much, he knew it and was already trying to figure out how to not be so…much.

_I need to go at his pace…we can take our time…of course we can._

He really considered for a moment to go slowly, to go crawl into his side of the bed, to let him rest and let him be, but he just couldn’t…he had to shake off the edges that kept saying it wasn’t true, even with it clear before his very eyes, the nagging voice kept trying to convince him it was the by product of an overactive imagination and nothing more.

_It’s real._

_It has to be._

He toed off his slippers, and then quickly slid in behind Yuri, carefully moving toward him, and when Yuri stirred in his sleep, Ryosuke’s eyes were wide, his breath caught in his chest watching as he flipped over, his arm wrapping around Ryosuke as he burrowed into him, curling up into his embrace.

“Yuri?” he whispered his name softly, wondering if he actually knew what he was doing.

“Hmm?” Yuri responded sleepily, his eyes remaining closed, but his fingers tightened around his chest, proving he was awake.

“Is…Is this…is it okay?”

“Don’t be stupid, Yamada,” Yuri wiggled, adjusting and scooting closer, “I’m  _too tired_ to kick your ass tonight.”

Ryosuke laughed softly, wrapping his arms around Yuri, holding him against his side, relishing the feeling of his breath on his neck, of the way he seemed to fit perfectly.

He’d hugged him countless times, he’d held him when he’d had nightmares, or times when he had his feelings hurt, or times when he missed his Mom–he’d always been there, and this wasn’t very different at first glance from those times–but he knew, and somehow he felt sure that Yuri knew too– _everything_  was different.

His hand wasn’t on his chest as a mere place to lay his hand–rather, to him it seemed as if it were placed there with the purpose of touching his heart. His arms weren’t just wrapped around Yuri with the expression of comfort–but now, through his touch he hoped to convey the plethora of emotions that rolled through him.

The strongest emotion at the moment being sheer contentment. This is where he belonged, held close by Yuri, and this is where Yuri perfectly fit–within his own arms.

Everything was just as it should be.

He didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep, but he bolted awake, looking to the side, the nightlight casting shadows onto Yuri’s form beside him, sitting up, his arms wrapped around his knees, shaking as he cried. Ryosuke reached over to touch his back, but he flinched, so Ryosuke drew his hand back, whispering, “Yuri?”

When Yuri turned, Ryosuke thought his heart would break, because he didn’t know how long he’d been crying but his eyes were swollen and his face was puffy from the tears, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Yuri shook his head, another wave of tears falling as he scooted closer, letting Ryosuke wrap his arms around him, which at least comforted Ryosuke, even if he didn’t understand what was happening, “I’ve got you.”

For whatever reason, this made Yuri cry harder, his body trembling, and Ryosuke didn’t know how to help him, “Just…breathe, okay? I’m here…”

Minutes passed, the only sound from Yuri’s sniffles and sighs, and Ryosuke just continued to console him, to hold him and make sure he knew he was there, “I’ve got you–you’re okay, I’m here.”

After what felt like years to Ryosuke, finally, Yuri spoke, his voice hoarse and rough from crying, “I had a d-dream,” he took a shuddering breath, and Ryosuke tightened his hold on him as he trembled, “I-I th-thought that…that…that it wasn’t real.”

Ryosuke was confused, speaking softly, “What wasn’t real?”

“ _This_ ,” Yuri whispered, patting Ryosuke’s chest softly.

Ryosuke understood instantly, “ _Oh, Yuri_ …I’m sorry,” he pulled his head to his chest, holding him there against him, tilting his head down to kiss the top of his head, “I’m here, this…it’s real…trust me, now that I know how you feel, it will be hell to get rid of me.”

He smiled when Yuri laughed softly, tilting his head up, and Ryosuke’s heart clenched as he took in his tear stained face, never wanting to see this kind of sadness from him, but when he smiled, a small sweet grin, he knew everything would be okay, his voice shaking, “You promise?”

“I promise,” Ryosuke leaned his head forward, tapping his nose against Yuri’s, “I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

“O-okay,” Yuri’s body shuddered as he tried to get a good breath, leaning his head against Ryosuke’s chest, his fingers trailing up and down the arm in front of him, “I…I don’t want to be like that…scared…I don’t want to be.”

“Then  _don’t_  be,” Ryosuke said the words firmly, careful to not sound angry or upset, but he wanted, no, he needed Yuri to understand, “There’s plenty of things to worry about, but…me not being here? This not being real…that’s…well, I mean that just isn’t one of them.”

Yuri looked at him then, his eyes wide and unblinking, “Is it okay to… _just be sure_?”

Ryosuke tilted his head, not clear on what he meant at all, but the question vanished when Yuri tilted forward, closing the distance between them, his lips pressing against Ryosuke’s tenderly.

Ryosuke’s hand moved through Yuri’s hair, pulling him closer, humming softly against his lips as he let him take the lead, let him discover what he needed to–because Ryosuke had his own way of confirming this was reality and not a dream, and he knew that Yuri would need to figure out his own methods.

This was, after all, not a bad method, not at all.

The kiss made his toes curl in delight, and he wanted to push Yuri back and take over, but he knew he shouldn’t–he already knew this would be a challenge–to be patient, to not rush through all of the stages of a relationship just because they’d known each other so long–waited so long–but he wanted to savor this, the early moments, the build up, the slow growing into something more–and in his heart he knew that Yuri would too.

So when Yuri drew back, he let him, he didn’t stop him, even though the kiss ending was the last thing he wanted to happen–he let it, because he wanted to remember this, not have a blur of one season into another…but to experience every moment in exclusion.

Yuri’s smile was one of the most precious sights he’d ever seen in all of his life, as he ducked his head, seemingly bashful after the kiss that he’d initiated, and Ryosuke wanted to tease him but stopped himself, instead, he gestured to Yuri’s clothes, “You might sleep better if you put on some pajamas–I didn’t…I mean I wasn’t going to make you do it before, but now that you’re awake?”

Yuri nodded, and Ryosuke moved quickly to his dresser, pulling out a pajama set and handing it to Yuri. Very few things made the fact that they were really in this together real than when Yuri shuffled quickly to the bathroom to change. The stark contrast with the way things would have been done before the confession earlier–it was interesting to Ryosuke to consider that suddenly they were somehow shy with each other–despite having been together and experienced so many life changing events with one another–they were still so innocent and naive about being in a relationship, and he was glad for it.

Glad that they were not seasoned, so thankful they’d be figuring it all out together.

When Yuri stepped out of the bathroom, the pajamas a little too big for him, Ryosuke smiled, because he looked absolutely adorable, and all he wanted to do was hug, and kiss, and cuddle him, “Seeing you look so cute in your pajamas reminds me of why I fell in love with you.”

“Is that right?” Yuri glanced down to look at himself, “Wait til you see me in my Disney pajamas then–you’re going to lose your mind.”

Ryosuke laughed, and a vision flashed in front of his eyes, one where he saw himself standing up and closing the distance between them, sweeping Yuri into his arms and pulling him into a fierce kiss, but he shook his head, dismissing the vision.

_There’s time for that, tonight…sleep._

He reached his arm over, patting the pillow beside him for Yuri to lay down.

Yuri scoffed, his eyes twinkling in the low light, and then darted across the room, bouncing on the bed, shuffling on his knees across the space between them, and then promptly laid down directly beside Ryosuke, grabbing and lifting his arm to wrap around him, then laid his head on his chest.

Ryosuke laughed, the bed shaking under them from his humor, and Yuri sat up, his expression clearly daring Ryosuke to deny him what he wanted,“Don’t say anything.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Ryosuke feigned innocence, lifting both hands in the air in a gesture of defeat.

“Good,” Yuri nodded, laying his head back down, “That’s what I thought.”

Ryosuke ran his hand across his back, then hugged him against him, smiling when Yuri snuggled into him, “I love you, Yuri.”

Yuri lifted his head to look at Ryosuke, smiling, “I love you,” he leaned forward in expectation, and Ryosuke tilted his head up from the pillow, kissing him gently, then laid his head back down, his finger tapping Yuri’s nose, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Yuri wiggled to get impossibly closer to him, and then nestled his head back down, and as Ryosuke had always envied, he seemed to fall directly to sleep.

##  **January 14, 2014**

Ryosuke didn’t know how much time had passed since he’d awakened, as he’d tried to be as still as he could be, lost in the soft sleeping noises that Yuri was making, lost in his thoughts, about how the sun seemed a little brighter coming in through the window this morning–how the birds outside seemed to sing with a little bit more joy, and all he could conclude was this was what true happiness felt like.

He thought, in truth, he’d always been happy–and he knew, he could acknowledge that he  _was_  happy before yesterday–but at the same time he couldn’t help but admit–it was pale…like there was a gray filter over everything–then suddenly, thanks to yesterday–everything was in bright, vibrant technicolor, and he couldn’t believe he was so blessed.

He smiled when he felt Yuri shift, watching as he rolled sideways, his body stretching out like a small kitten as he yawned loudly, then he sat up quickly, blinking, and turning instantly to look at Ryosuke, his eyes wide, “Oh, thank God…”

“I’m still here,” Ryosuke mused, glad he’d stayed, because he thought maybe Yuri would wake up freaking out after the dream he’d had, relieved that he followed his instincts, smiling, “I love you.”

Yuri smiled, shifting to lay back down next to him, his hand moving to pull Ryosuke’s face toward him, “I love you, I wonder if we’ll ever get tired of saying it out loud?” 

He didn’t give him a chance to answer, pressing forward and kissing him quickly and then beaming a wide smile, “Good morning!”

“Good morning,” Ryosuke grinned, “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm and I didn’t want to wake you.”

Yuri scoffed, “Well, what are you waiting for now?”

Ryosuke laughed, playfully shoving him away as he threw his legs over the side of bed, shuffling his feet to find his slippers, looking down when Yuri’s arms wrapped around his waist, tugging on him, “It’s too cold! Come back!”

He twisted looking back at Yuri who was blinking innocently behind him, “Please?”

“I thought you wanted  _breakfast_ ,” Ryosuke tilted his head, blinking slowly, falling more in love with the little monster every second, trying hard to not laugh.

“I do, but  _first_  I want you to hug me,” Yuri widened his eyes, his bottom lip pursing forward into the perfect pout.

“You’re seriously going to have your way with me constantly, aren’t you?” Ryosuke tried to hide his smile as he shifted to lay back down.

“Most definitely,” Yuri teased, knowing full well that Ryosuke was just messing with him,  _mostly_ , “You better get used to doing what I want.”

Ryosuke wrapped his arms around him, holding him tenderly as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, “I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing that since the first day we met.”

Yuri blinked, his smile full of mischief, “ _Maybe_ , but I have an  _entirely new_  set of demands now.”

  


 


	8. It’s Always Been You  (drabbles based on dialogue prompts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day Drabbles based on dialogue prompts that I added to the story! Just some fluffy filler goodies! <3
> 
> “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”  
> “Yes, I watch you sleep. No, not in a weird way!”

 

* * *

##  _2. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”_

“I swear! I’m going to kill you if you don’t knock it off,” Yuri thundered, his eyes moving from the game he was playing to glare at Ryosuke, his entire demeanor dark.

“At least you’d notice me if you were going to kill me,” Ryosuke frowned, crossing his arms as he flopped back onto the couch.

“You’re stupid,” Yuri shook his head, looking back to his game as he resumed playing.

His eyes darted to the side where Ryosuke’s toe was nudging his knee at random intervals. It could be he might be able to handle it if he were doing it at some kind of steady pace, some rhythm, but it was like he was purposefully being haphazard.

Yuri sighed, his hand snapping out to grab Ryosuke’s ankle, stilling his foot, “Would you  _please_  find something to do?”

“Nope,” Ryosuke said flatly, “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

Yuri pressed the pause button with a huff, reaching out to sit his game controller on the table, turning to look at Ryosuke who was pouting dramatically, “Are you okay?”

“I have no idea what you mean?” Ryosuke shrugged, “I just…” he faded, his eyes moving to the floor, his head tilting down, his voice a whisper, “I just want you to pay attention to me.”

“Since when?” Yuri wondered, twisting further to look at him.

“What does that mean?” Ryosuke narrowed his eyes.

“I’m the needy one, not you,” Yuri admitted, his eyebrows raising in a challenge, “We can’t  _both_ be the needy one.”

“First of all,” Ryosuke moved so quickly that Yuri was pulled back onto the couch enclosed in Ryosuke’s arms before he understood what was happening, Ryosuke’s nose touching his own as he held him, “We’ve been a couple for like…I don’t even know…fifteen minutes.”

“Two weeks,” Yuri corrected, shaking his head, “It’s been fifteen days since our coming of age ceremony. We’ve had nine days off in a row thanks to the post-holiday reward schedule. We’ve eaten 38 meals together, and you’ve kissed me eighteen times.”

Ryosuke blinked, his mouth open in shock, “Do you…keep a record of our kisses?”

Yuri shrugged, “No, not a record really…it’s just…so far they’ve all been very memorable–so…I mean…is that weird?”

“No, I mean it’s no–”

“It’s weird, it’s okay for it to be weird,” Yuri cut him off quickly, shaking his head, “I mean…I just thought about it for so long, and now it’s hard to imagine that I’m allowed to kiss you anytime I want to.”

“Well,” Ryosuke began to correct him, but Yuri stopped him, “I mean when we’re alone, of course.”

Ryosuke hummed in agreement, and then smiled when Yuri wiggled closer, his hand reaching up to cup his cheek as he leaned forward, kissing him softly.

Ryosuke let him end the kiss, and then laughed, “Did that one make the count?”

Yuri blinked and then laughed, “I kissed you, I don’t count those.”

“Why not?” Ryosuke asked, genuinely confused.

“They’re different,” Yuri tilted his head, trying to find the words to explain, but before he could speak, Ryosuke had leaned forward, his fingers grabbing the collar of his button up shirt as he closed the distance between them.

Yuri’s eyes fluttered closed, his stomach clenching in anticipation, and when Ryosuke’s lips touched his, it was like magic–the same as every single time and he wondered if he would ever get used to it. If it would ever be so normal that he would no longer feel breathless each moment.

His thoughts stopped, when Ryosuke’s lips pulled gently at his own, his mouth opening, as smooth, soft skin teased gently, and then his teeth nibbled softly on his bottom lip. His hand moved up, fingers grazing across Ryosuke’s cheek as he shifted to entwine his fingers through the curls at the base of his neck, pulling him forward further. 

He relished the noise, the low, deep sound when the kiss deepened, fluttering touches, still shy, not completely seasoned just yet, and still figuring out how to do this kissing–but the practice was the best kind of sweet lessons, and one that he’d gladly submit himself to every day without complaint.

When Ryosuke pulled back, his lips still touching Yuri’s, their quick breath mixing together, his eyes twinkled, “Did that one count?”

Yuri laughed softly, “I might have to count it twice.”

Ryosuke laughed then too, kissing him quickly and then pulling him into his arms, holding his head on his chest, “You know…” Ryosuke drew his fingers through his hair, loving the soft texture, “Maybe we both are needy–which isn’t an issue, so long as we aren’t  _both_  needy at the same time.”

Yuri tilted his head up to look at Ryosuke, his expression softened, his fingertips moving up to touch Ryosuke’s cheek, “Wouldn’t that be okay, too?”

“What?” Ryosuke tilted his head, not getting his meaning.

“If we were  _both needy at the same time_?”

Yuri had to laugh at the way the red flowed up Ryosuke’s cheeks and then tinged his ears red, shaking his head, “Shut up, that’s not what I meant.”

Ryosuke looked away in his embarrassment, attempting to stand up, “Play your game, you dummy, I’ll go make some lunch.”

“I don’t want to,” Yuri murmured, reaching his arm around Ryosuke’s waist to hold him against him, “Just…maybe I was wrong.”

“Wrong about what?” Ryosuke asked, eyes wide as he melted back into Yuri’s arms.

“I don’t mind it,” Yuri looked bashful, “I don’t mind if you need my attention, too.”

Ryosuke studied him for a moment, then smiled, “I’ve always needed your attention…you’ve just…never been around me so much.”

Yuri hummed softly, he eyes darting away, feeling too small under Ryosuke’s observation, “I can go home tonight.”

He gasped when Ryosuke’s hand shot forward, grabbing his chin none too gently, forcing him to look up at him, his tone fierce, “That’s not what I meant.”

Yuri didn’t want to get this wrong, so he waited, thinking it through, and then he pushed Ryosuke’s hand away, looking down, “I don’t know how to know if that’s true or not.”

“What do you mean?” Ryosuke whispered.

“I know you but this…it’s all different right?” Yuri looked up at him, “I think…now suddenly I am worried that you are going to…I don’t know…I guess…get tired of me?” 

Ryosuke shook his head, drawing in a breath to speak, but Yuri rushed forward, “I mean, you didn’t  _ask_ me to stay, I just…I just didn’t want to leave, and then one night was another night was another night…and I just…I didn’t mean to  assume you wanted me here…it’s just I was thinking tha–”

“Yuri,” Ryosuke’s voice was firm, cutting him off, “Just shut up for a second…” he watched as Yuri bit his lip, shaking his head, and then he leaned down to make sure Yuri could see his face, “Will you stay here with me?”

Yuri blinked, “Wh–”

“I want you to stay here with me,” Ryosuke confirmed, “I want you to be here, I don’t want you to go home.”

“I mean,” Yuri grinned, “I can stay for a little longer.”

“No,” Ryosuke shook his head, “That won’t do.”

“Won’t…do…” Yuri’s breath was caught in his throat and he didn’t want to fill in the blanks, he didn’t want to think this meant more than it really did.

“I want this to be  _home_.”

“Home,” Yuri repeated, his eyes wide.

Ryosuke hummed, his smile curling on the edges as his mind filtered through all the days ahead, “Yes, I want this to be your home, too.  _Our_ home.”

“Really?” Yuri blinked rapidly, “Are you serious?”

“I’m selfish,” Ryosuke’s eyes held his fast, “I want you with me…I spent all of these years just wishing and dreaming, now I can’t imagine you not being here to say stupid stuff when I am reading with my glasses on or when I die in my game, or whatever…I just… I want…”

“I want that,” Yuri spoke quickly, his fingers grabbing onto Ryosuke’s shirt, as if he were terrified he was going to leave and the spell would be somehow broken, his insecurities flaring up suddenly, “If you’re sure…I mean, I need you to be sure, Ryo.”

He didn’t think he could handle being asked to leave after he’d been allowed to stay.

“I’m sure, more sure than anything,” Ryosuke affirmed without hesitation.

“This means I can kiss you everyday,” Yuri smiled, “You won’t be able to get away from it.”

“I’ll somehow survive the torture,” Ryosuke grinned, thinking he was so fortunate, so blessed to have this boy in his arms, as he ran his fingers across his cheek, “Yuri, listen,” his voice was laced with emotion, “It’s just…the reason I didn’t say anything, I just… _I wanted you to stay_ …I didn’t know how to ask…but…if you’ll stay, we can keep your apartment, of course–so that if anyone asks–you still have it…I don’t…I mean we have a lot to figure out…”

He faded off, his expression becoming clouded, and Yuri shifted up quickly, to draw him into his embrace, “It’s okay, we’ll figure it out–me and you–we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Ryosuke’s arms held him tightly, burrowing his face into his neck, nodding, his voice a whisper, “Okay.”

##  _1\. “Yes, I watch you sleep. No, not in a weird way!”_

The sun was bright, causing Ryosuke to blink rapidly, throwing his arm across his face to block the light, groaning, and then turning his head, eyes popping open when he heard the soft laughter next to him, his voice hoarse from sleep, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Yuri shrugged, trying to look innocent, “Just sitting here.”

Ryosuke yawned loudly, his hand batting to the side of the bed to try to grab his cellphone, grunting his displeasure as he squinted to see the time, his eyes moving to look back at Yuri, surprised, “You let me sleep until eleven?”

“You were tired,” Yuri murmured, “You needed sleep,” he whispered, reaching over to take the phone out of his hand to toss it on the other side of the bed as he shifted, scooching into Ryosuke’s arms as he forced them open, “Hug me.”

Ryosuke scoffed at the demand, but his arms wrapped around him, none the less, his smile growing as Yuri burrowed his face into his neck, unable to even pretend to be aggravated, humming in contentment, “How long have you been up?”

“Since eight,” Yuri whispered, snaking his arm under Ryosuke’s to rub his back, “I was waiting for you to wake up.”

“Wai…what were you doing?”

“Waiting?” Yuri’s voice sounded confused by the question, and Ryosuke laughed lightly over his head.

“Right,” Ryosuke nodded, “I understand, but what did you do for all these hours? Did you just come back to the bed when I woke up?”

“No…” Yuri hedged, “I stayed here, since I didn’t want to miss you waking up.”

“Ah,” Ryosuke tilted his head down, wishing he could see Yuri’s face but all he could make out were that his eyes were closed, his breath hot on his skin, “were you playing a gam–”

“I was just watching you, okay? Yes,” Yuri’s voice was defensive, huffing before he spoke again, “I watch you when you sleep.”

“That’s…I mean…”

“Shut up!” Yuri barked, pulling back so he could look up at Ryosuke, “It’s not in a weird way–it’s just…It sounds stupid,” Yuri sighed softly, “but it’s just…it’s calming and soothing to me, and it makes everything seem very simple. You’re so peaceful, and I like to watch you and imagine what you’re dreaming about, that’s all…”

“You could just  _ask me_ ,” Ryosuke murmured leaning his head down to kiss Yuri’s forehead softly.

“What?”

“It’s you,” Ryosuke pressed his forehead against Yuri’s forcing his head back so he could look into his eyes.

He saw the confusion on Yuri’s face, smiling broadly before he leaned forward, pressing his lips against his, drawing back despite the whine he issued, his voice soft as he admitted, “The dreams…it’s always been you.”

Yuri grinned, leaning up as he pursed his lips, Ryosuke closing the distance between them all too gladly, his hands moving down his back, and then suddenly Yuri tried to jerk backward, his hand flying out in an attempt to push Ryosuke away but it was far too late, as Ryosuke had his cellphone in his hand, his eyes bright with mischief, “How many pictures did you take?”

“I swear, Yamada–give it back to me right now!” Yuri pushed against Ryosuke’s back as he rolled away from him, his hands scrambling around him trying to get the phone from him. 

He was no match for a well rested Ryosuke, who just pushed his hand into the middle of his chest, holding him back easily as he unlocked the phone and hit the gallery button, his smile widening as he counted how many new pictures Yuri had taken.

“Almost thirty,” Ryosuke grinned over his shoulder at Yuri who had given up, crossing is legs and arms and pouting, “It might be a new record.”

“I hate you,” Yuri frowned, his eyes narrowed at Ryosuke.

“You  _don’t_ ,” Ryosuke whispered, smiling, his voice teasing, “after all, the pictures on your phone prove otherwise.”

“Shut up,” Yuri hissed, holding his hand out for the phone, his eyes widening when Ryosuke reached over to set it on his nightstand and then moved quickly to tackle him, a squeal filling the room as Ryosuke pushed him backward, causing him to sprawl out on the bed while Ryosuke straddled him, leaning over him with one of his most devious smiles.

“Take it back,” Ryosuke warned.

“Or what?” Yuri put his hands under his head, looking entirely too relaxed given the fact that Ryosuke had the upper hand since the moment he opened his eyes.

Ryosuke drew back, tilting his head, not actually having imagined Yuri calling his bluff, “I’ll…I’ll…ah…”

“That’s what I thought,” Yuri smiled, his arm moving slowly to reach up to grab Ryosuke’s t-shirt, tugging on it to draw him forward.

Ryosuke slapped at his hand, “You’re gonna mess my shirt up!”

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Yuri smiled, and whatever Ryosuke saw in his eyes, he forgot about the shirt, forgot about everything else apart from the promises they held–ensuring far more than a new shirt.


	9. You're The Monster (November 2014)

## 

 

##  **“From the Beginning” _Yamachii Fiction_ Collection**

****Title** : **You’re The Monster  
**Pairing/Relationship** **:** Yamada Ryosuke x Chinen Yuri  
**Chapter Rating** **:** NC-17  
**Collection Rating:** NC-17  
**Warnings** **:** **Chapter:** NSFW, Explicit Language, Erotica   **Collection:**   NSFW, Explicit Language, Erotica, Public Sex    
**Genre** **:** Romantic fluffy, angst, hurt/comfort, M/M  
**Type** **:** Collection

*this part is gif heavy because I am extra and made gifs to match the story haha Sorry if they cause issues for anyone! <3

* * *

 

Music Inspiration:  Beautiful Soul ~ Jesse McCartney

I know that you are something special  
To you, I’d be always faithful  
I want to be what you always needed  
Then I hope you’ll see the heart in me

I don’t want another pretty face  
I don’t want just anyone to hold  
I don’t want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
You’re the one I want to chase  
You’re the one I want to hold  
I won’t let another minute go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul  
Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over  
But I’m just fine moving forward  
I’ll ease your mind if you give me the chance  
I will never make you cry, c'mon let’s try

Am I crazy for wanting you?  
Baby do you think you could want me too?  
I don’t want to waste your time  
Do you see things the way I do?  
I just want to know that you feel it too  
There is nothing left to hide

* * *

Ryosuke was a little nervous, which was strange because it wasn’t the kind of situation that called for him being nervous. He was an experienced actor, had starred in many shows himself, yet, somehow being on set with Yuri’s show was different.

He’d harassed the living hell out of Yuri to beg the producers to let him make a guest appearance on the show. He was not sure why he was so obsessed with it, though he admittedly loved the series so, sure that was probably part of it. 

Yet, somehow, he knew it was a little more than that.

A little more depth to it.

If he were really honest with himself he’d just admit that it was because it was something Yuri had that was his own. Completely set apart from everything Jump related and even Ryosuke related.

Though it was a fact that Ryosuke wasn’t jealous or intimidated by such things, within his own mind, he’d far prefer that Yuri be the most famous between the two of them–that the world would acknowledge how amazing he really, truly was. Rather, it was more that Ryosuke just wanted to be a little part of something that Yuri had touched.

To see this hidden part of him, the part that he could only imagine existed where he wasn’t ‘Yuri the Idol’ or 'Yuri the Boyfriend’ or even 'Yuri the Spoiled’–but instead, a Yuri that maybe Ryosuke hadn’t ever had the opportunity to see before.

He really wanted to see it.

Their time together as a couple was quickly approaching a  year now, and while he found himself amazed every day at the discoveries he was still making about the boy he loved—this felt like something he could only learn through this specific kind of experience.

He wanted to feel that connection, and in this atmosphere, on this set, it felt completely different than anything they would do as Jump members. This was Yuri’s empire, this is where he ruled, and Ryosuke could tell from the moment he’d stepped on set that Yuri was the more famous Jump member here among this cast and crew.

He was clearly beloved among his fellow cast members, and it didn’t take long for Ryosuke to realize how truly admired and looked up to he was. The other members of the cast treated Yuri with respect and spoke to him in a manner that was different than any he’d seen around Johnny’s where he was pretty much the baby among all of the Johnny’s despite there being at least 400 juniors younger than him at any given time.

For his own part, Yuri was poised and somehow seemed clearly confident, a different persona than he would normally see in him on sets of their own shows. Of course, Ryosuke could see the underlying nervousness, the way he felt discomfort when he was put on the spot and such, but still, that was only because he knew him so well–anyone else would just see someone who was more than capable and prepared to give his very best for the show.

_It’s amazing._

_He’s amazing._

_I love him._

Ryosuke had enjoyed watching him, despite knowing that Yuri was somehow keeping him at arm’s length, and though he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly it was, there was a weird atmosphere between the two of them. Truth be told, he’d been a little put out with how he’d been ignoring him.

That said, he thought he understood the unique dynamics that were happening between them until the moment he’d walked into the green room.

  


Yuri had been filming for a while, so Ryosuke had been sitting in the green room with their senpai Maruyama-san talking about upcoming projects and such when Yuri stepped into the room. Ryosuke’s eyes were drawn to him, curious about the expression he had on his face, watching as he crossed the space between them, pausing for a moment, and then moving to immediately settle himself down in Maruyama-san’s lap.

Ryosuke had a moment where he knew his shock and irritation showed clearly but he worked to quickly school his expression to something seemingly normal, unable to tear his eyes away, and when Maruyama-san glanced over at him, he couldn’t help but wonder about what he saw in his eyes.

_Could he know?_

_Surely not…no one knows._

_Don’t be paranoid._

Ryosuke forced his eyes away, gritting his teeth, not liking the way there was a strange gnawing at the pit of his stomach, glancing up when one of the wardrobe ladies called for Yuri who stood up quickly and with a flourish left the room to follow her without even making eye contact with Ryosuke.

In fact, he’d purposefully been sure to turn his entire head away from Ryosuke the entire time he’d been there. All in all he’d managed to completely drive Ryosuke insane for the entire eight hours on set through multiple different ways. He clenched his fists, frustrated at the myriad of feelings flooding through his being.

_I’m going to kill him._

They’d made a habit of arriving to their building at different times no matter what, though that was complicated today since Ryosuke had actually went to work with Yuri. After he’d dropped him off a block away so he could walk to the building, Ryosuke headed home, waiting quite impatiently by the door for Yuri to arrive.

When Yuri finally stepped through the door, he yelped as Ryosuke grabbed him, tossing his bag to the side, slamming the door shut and then pressing him back against it as his mouth descending on his in a flurry of passionate, fiery kisses.

Yuri had a fairly good idea what this was, after all he’d spent most of the day teasing Ryosuke on set by paying undue attention to other cast members, by sitting on his senpai’s lap, and by generally all but ignoring him. The truth was, he wasn’t sure how he’d feel about Ryosuke being there–but once he was, he found himself feeling mostly jealous. 

Not of Ryosuke, not at all in the sense of him being a big star on his set or whatever someone might think, rather it was jealousy in regards to their relationship, because of the whispers in the hallways…the giggles from his fellow female cast-mates who were blushing, squealing, and despite trying to pretend otherwise, freaking out at having Ryosuke on set with them. 

_I mean, I get it, he’s fine af._

_But still…_

Factually speaking, Yuri wanted to drag Ryosuke out into the middle of stage one while everyone was on set and mark his territory–show them all that he was far  _more_  than taken, that he was  _his_. 

_I don’t share._

Of course, it was impossible, so instead, he tried to act unaffected by Ryosuke’s presence. This fell into the category of ‘ignore him until I can walk through the complex without wanting to pee on his leg in a alpha show of ownership’. At least, he could have a little fun with it, already knowing that it would make Ryosuke positively insane. 

He knew even as he was being mischievous that it really would drive Ryosuke crazy because he wouldn’t understand what he was feeling. It certainly wasn’t that Ryosuke required an undue amount of attention, not at all, but at the same time, Ryosuke would be confused as to what Yuri was doing, and in fact, he’d been counting on it as part of his own personal entertainment value.

Given this, he had predicted that he’d have some strongly phrased words about it when they’d arrived home, but he couldn’t have expected _this_  kind of response, counting on a verbal beat-down from him, he wasn’t prepared for him to exert dominance over him with his entire body alight with a strange mixture of fury, passion, and desire.

_Noted for future reference._

_Yama-chan gets super worked up when he’s jealous._

_I like it._

_Hell, I LOVE IT._

Yuri felt powerful internally at this knowledge, intuitively knowing that Ryosuke had just handed him a very dangerous weapon indeed, marveling when he realized he held a certain kind of control and influence over the situation, besides the fact, he certainly wasn’t going to complain about this response from Ryosuke, ardent as it were–as this was  _different_.

Not like a different person, no, because Ryosuke was just Ryosuke all the time. But, in this moment, he felt a raw power that he somehow seemed to always keep under tabs. A part of him he kept in reserve. It wasn’t even that Yuri didn’t know full well that it was there, he  _absolutely_  knew, but he’d not found the key to unlocking it.

He wasn’t entirely sure driving him insane with jealousy was necessarily the  _right_ method, but he certainly wasn’t sorry that this was happening, a soft sound of approval escaped his mouth as he moved his arms so he could run his hands up Ryosuke’s back and into his hair as he allowed Ryosuke to work whatever this was out of his system.

Part of him wanted to push him, just push him forward.

_Just a little bit._

_That’s all it would take._

He knew he could.

He knew he could break Ryosuke.

Have his way with him.

_I want it so much._

_I could do it._

Still, that was never the picture in his mind, and since he’d waited as patiently as he could for all of his dreams thus far, he figured he shouldn’t just give in this time either. That didn’t change the fact that he could feel the moment quickly approaching.

The moment he  _hated_ the most.

The instance when Ryosuke would realize he was getting too lost in the moment–yielding to the fervent passion of their kisses, their touches, and surely, despite Ryosuke wanting to pretend otherwise, Yuri was fully aware of his needs–in fact, most of the time it was impossible to miss it.

Such was the case at the moment, as he felt Ryosuke roll his hips unconsciously, his body all hard and firm as he moved against his own and all Yuri wanted to do was to push him, just a little bit is all it would take, because more than the air around him, all he wanted was to feel Ryosuke’s skin under his fingertips, to explore the soft expanse of his body and the hard planes that teased beneath his clothes, to taste and savor him, every inch of him, to worship him properly, to fully experience all of him–but Ryosuke always,  _always_ , infuriatingly  _always_  drew back.

_Damn his self-control._

Sure enough, before Yuri could further contemplate the situation, Ryosuke’s mouth disengaged from his, leaning his head down onto his shoulder as he gasped for breath, laughing softly.

Yuri couldn’t move anything except his hands under the weight of his body against his, so he ran his fingertips through Ryosuke’s hair, a slow, beautiful sound coming from him as he felt a shudder flow through his body.

_God, if he only knew what he does to me._

He pushed forward, pressing his body even more securely against Ryosuke’s, knowing full well that he could feel the effects of his 'punishment’, wishing more than anything he would acknowledge that he was equally filled with desire, that they could do something about it. Likewise, he wished he weren’t such a damn coward so that he could just speak up and basically ask him why they should both suffer when they could take care of each other just like they did in every other area of their life.

Of course, that was lost on him, as he surely knew those words would never come out of his mouth, because when it really came down to it, he was relying on Ryosuke to help him navigate these more complicated aspects of their relationship.

There was no way that Yuri could possibly know how utterly ill prepared Ryosuke felt about being in charge of such things, generally feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, and terrified of how deeply he was impacted by both the emotions, and the physical need in equal measure.

Ryosuke lifted his head and Yuri smiled when he saw the flames in his eyes, smirking as he spoke with trembling voice, “What’s  _this_  about?”

“Don’t even try pretend to not know,” Ryosuke snapped, his fingertips raising to touch Yuri’s cheek, his voice softened, “You’re a monster.”

“Technically,” Yuri laughed with a sigh, liking the way the movement put pressure on the right parts of his body, “ _You’re the monster_.”

“Monster or not, don’t you dare play those games with me tomorrow,” Ryosuke spoke the words but they lacked any venom at all, his eyes wavering, and Yuri saw the string of fragile emotion that thread its way between them, Ryouske somehow needing affirmation, desperate to know that while Yuri had a large group of people at his show he was friendly with–that he still held first place in his heart.

“I won’t,” Yuri whispered, his fingertips running across Ryosuke’s cheek, “Don’t worry.”

The next day Ryosuke reported to set a little later than Yuri—as they had several scenes to film before he would be appearing. He’d already taken care of hair and makeup while Yuri was with a group of other members of the cast filming a scene on the top of the “school building”.

Ryosuke was waiting to be called to set in the green room when Maruyama-san walked in, taking a seat next to him, glancing over at him before handing him a brochure.

Ryosuke glanced down at it, “What’s this?”

“Just an upcoming event that I thought you might be interested in,” Maruyama-san shrugged, his eyes focused on Ryosuke’s for a moment before he glanced away, “At least, I thought of you when I saw it…”

Ryosuke read the top of the flyer, discovering it was a video game expo coming to Tokyo the next month, lifting his eyes to his senpai in confusion.

  
  


Before he could say anything in response, Yuri walked into the room, Ryosuke’s eyes snapping to his as he could feel the mischief filled energy from him all the way across the room, not missing his sly grin which caused Ryosuke to laugh, his eyes sparkling when they met, then he moved quickly forward, bending over as he dramatically bowed low to him, which made Ryosuke’s cheeks flame with a furious blush that swept up his body.

_You idiot._

He shook his head, dismissing his action completely and then he saw the intent within Yuri’s eyes as one of his eyebrows raised slowly, realizing  _exactly_  what he intended as he watched him cross the room. Ryosuke tossed the brochure to the side so he could grab Yuri’s waist when he had instantly settled himself down in his lap, his hand gliding across his back to clutch his neck, pulling him into a crushing hug for a moment before moving it back to hold his shoulder.

  
  


Laughter filled the room as Yuri made a big show of it, and Ryosuke couldn’t imagine what the others thought was happening. In truth, Ryosuke couldn’t guess immediately what the purpose of this was, but he knew Yuri well enough to know that he didn’t do much of anything without express reasoning, so he was positive this exact moment had a very clear meaning to him. 

He felt his breath catch, the sentiment wasn’t lost on him–realizing suddenly–understanding that Yuri was doing this as a way to make up for his behavior the day before. Showing Ryouske who he was, making a very public statement–and then…Ryosuke realized the whole of it.

_He sat in Maruyama-san’s lap yesterday–just so he could sit on mine today._

_He’s showing the truth to everyone, even if they have no earthly idea because he made a point to sit on someone else’s lap first._

_He’s a mastermind._

_And a possessive little brat._

_I love him._

Ryosuke couldn’t help but smile as his fingers clenched on his waist as he held him, words he wanted to say to him flooding through his mind, purposefully avoiding Maruyama-san’s gaze he felt hot on his face.

“Chinen-san,” one of the stunt coordinators called out for him, “We need to go over the choreography one more time please.”

“Of course,” Yuri nodded, his fingers squeezing Ryosuke’s shoulder before he stood up, glancing back with a smile before he made his way across the room to the staff.

Ryosuke cleared his throat, his eyes shifting over when Maruyama-san spoke softly, “Chinen-kun speaks of you  _often_ , he clearly holds you in high regard,” glancing around before he continued, “He seems to know you  _very well_.”

“I—I…” Ryosuke felt the palm of his hands break out into a sweat, his heart thundering in his chest as he tried to decide if this was him being called out or not.

Before he could say anything, Maruyama-san patted his shoulder, laughing lightly, “I’m glad Chinen-kun has as good a  _friend_ as you.”

“O-Oh, of course,” Ryosuke felt like he was shaking but he knew he wasn’t, being a skilled actor, he was more than capable of holding his expression and not betraying his internal freak-out. Still, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from his senpai’s own, laughing nervously when he patted his shoulder again and then stood up.

“ _Take care of him_ ,” Maruyama-san spoke firmly as he glanced down at Ryosuke.

Ryosuke couldn’t speak, certain that somehow, he wasn’t talking about them being mere friends at all, just nodding firmly as he pressed his lips together, a plethora of words passing between the two in their silence.

“Good,” Maruyama-san nodded, smiled broadly, walking across the room to the assistant director who had called him.

  
  
  


Ryosuke had made sure to say exactly his thoughts about Yuri in as plain of words as he could without rousing suspicion when he was leaving the main set, and Yuri gave as good as he got when he was leaving the set. He was so thankful for the opportunity to experience working with him, and to learn more about him through the process.

He’d still filmed the next day in full makeup for Zekki, but it was a closed set and only the handful of actors who had to be there to film with him would be attending. Yuri would be working with the stunt coordinator at another stage for the next episode they were filming, so they’d left in the morning going separate directions.

Ryosuke arrived home late, exhausted, hearing that Yuri was in the shower, he changed into his pajama pants and then went to get a quick snack before bed. After eating a bit of fruit, a horrible dinner he knew, he’d shuffled down the hallway to the bedroom, tired and ready to sleep. They had filmed for nearly ten hours, not something unique to him, as he was fairly used to long days, but he surely wasn’t conditioned to do those kind of long hours in the heavy layers of makeup and prosthetics they’d put on him. 

That said, being a total nerd for the manga he couldn’t wait to see the end result.

He yawned as he approached the bed, tilting his head to listen for the shower and realizing Yuri must have finished up, his eyes closing as stretched lightly. When the door to the bathroom brushed open, however, his eyes widened, suddenly fully awake when Yuri walked out of the bathroom looking like a model.

_A really hot model._

Having finished his shower, towel wrapped around his waist, another one draping across the top of his face as he scrubbed his hair to dry it. There was a part of Ryosuke that wanted to rush out of the room, get away from him, as he’d been purposefully avoiding for  _months_ any kinds of situations that might allude to desire or other feelings that he wasn’t sure either of them were ready to approach.

It was a strange situation, of course, given the fact that they were living together, but then…when did they ever do anything simply or normally?

Despite being together every day, while they’d spent an extraordinary amount of time holding hands, cuddling, and he could certainly get lost in Yuri’s kisses for  _hours_ –they hadn’t moved beyond that, and Ryosuke wasn’t at all sure how to even bring up a conversation about it.

It wasn’t the kind of question you could ask other people either–while he’d went to his Mom and sisters about advice in the past on how to handle his feelings for Yuri–this kind of question seemed like something that would not only be uncomfortable, but completely mortifying. He didn’t have any friends to ask, as they were, naturally, taking great care to ensure that nothing at all could ever be seen as anything other than friendship at this point in public because neither of them were prepared for the undoubted fallout.

Though he had meant to ask Yuri about Maruyama-san and what he seemed to imply when they’d spoken on set, he knew that no one  _really_ suspected anything, not even the Jump members who didn’t already know.

Even with Yuto, who he did have the freedom to talk to about their relationship, he couldn’t imagine asking him a question about this particular subject. Honestly, it wasn’t because he didn’t think Yuto would give him good advice, because he was positive he would, but Yuto was already too involved and the simple truth was Ryosuke didn’t think he could put up with his jokes about  _this_  particular subject. He’d skated around asking about what their relationship was like and Ryosuke had been quick to redirect him to safer topics.

He was confused, and he didn’t know what to do at this point, but before he could make up his mind about whether to leave to give him privacy to get dressed for bed or not he startled when Yuri touched his arm, jumping, blinking rapidly, tilting his head when Yuri laughed, “I called your name twice…”

“Oh,” Ryosuke shook his head, “I’m sorry, I was just thinking…”

“Must have been a pretty important subject for you to be so far gone,”  Yuri responded, leaning up to kiss him softly, his fingertips touching Ryosuke’s cheek, “Wanna talk about it?”

“Ah,” Ryosuke certainly wanted to talk about it– _he really did_ , but he just didn’t know  _how_  to talk about it…how to discuss it, what words to use, this was all new territory and he was at a complete loss, wishing there was an instruction book, or some kind of flowchart that would guide him through these experiences.

“It’s okay,” Yuri shrugged, running the towel through his hair again, “You can talk when you’re ready.”

Ryosuke raised an eyebrow at that, knowing full well it wasn’t in Yuri’s nature to just let something go like that, but then he saw it, the way his brows drew down when he shifted his arm again to move the towel, “What happened to you?”

“Eh?” Yuri froze, “What do you mean?”

“You’re in pain,” Ryosuke snapped, “When did you get hurt?”

“I’m not in pa–”

Ryosuke made the sharp growling noise Yuri knew all too well that indicated he knew better and that clearly Yuri was downplaying whatever was wrong as he moved forward, grabbing the towel out of his hand, tossing it across the room to the clothes hamper, and then moved behind him, drawing Yuri’s arm out, carefully pacing him through the motions he’d just watched, a knowing hum issued as observed his body flinching, his breath caught, “There, what’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“I just over worked it today during the rehearsals for next week’s stunt scenes,” Yuri twisted to look at Ryosuke, smiling, “I do it all the time, you just don’t usually see the after effects.”

Ryosuke frowned, not liking it, not one bit, “You need to be more careful–do you need to go to see a doctor?”

“No!” Yuri laughed, turning around to face Ryosuke, his arm crossing his chest to rub his shoulder, “I’ll be fine, just need to rest it, nothing special about it. I won’t push it for a few days and it will be fine.”

Ryosuke stared at him, squashing down the feeling that was rising that he needed to take him immediately to the emergency room–knowing it was stupid, because he was  _fine_ , “…still.”

Yuri sighed, stepping forward to touch his nose to Ryosuke’s, “It’s cute how you worry, I’d tell you the truth if there was something to be concerned about–unlike you, I’m _hardly_  the type to suffer in silence, after all–but right now, there’s not. I’m perfectly fine, I’ll schedule a massage with the therapist’s tomorrow and that will get me through the worst of it.”

“I can do it.”

Yuri blinked, “Do what?”

“Massage your shoulder,” Ryosuke shrugged, “I mean, I don’t mind?”

Before Yuri could say anything, Ryosuke had grabbed his hips, shuffling him over to the bench at the foot of their bed, shoving it away from the bed a bit and then pointing to it, “Sit.”

Yuri smiled, not minding the attention, twisting to watch as Ryosuke went into the bathroom, curious as he heard drawers opening and closing, “What are you doing?”

“Looking for that ointment they gave me for my back,” Ryosuke called out from the other room, then appeared in the doorway, frowning, “I can’t find it though…”

“It’s fine,” Yuri shrugged, “I really meant that you don’t have to worry about th—”

“Whatever,” Ryosuke cut him off, huffing as he moved across the space, pushing at Yuri to turn around. Yuri twisted on the bench, lifting his leg to straddle it, he sighed softly when Ryosuke’s fingertips pressed into his shoulder, because it felt so good to feel his touch.

He always relished any attention that Ryosuke gave him, but since they’d begun their official relationship, there was hardly  _anything_  that matched when Ryosuke touched him. Despite having been touched by him a million times, everything was different when it was enveloped inside the aura of love.

_Not just touch…everything is different._

_The whole world._

When his fingers rolled carefully across the tense muscle that had been causing him pain, adding his other hand, his fingers firm as he worked the taut muscle, something between a sigh and a groan escaped, his eyes fluttering closed at how good it felt.

The moment Ryosuke’s fingers touched Yuri’s skin he realized he’d made a  _terrible decision_ –because the sigh from Yuri instantly awakened him, startled him, as he realized that he was touching Yuri when he had nothing but a towel around his waist, in their bedroom.

Then…when he’d pressed onward, the sound that Yuri made sent trills of sensations across every square inch of his body.

_Clearly, we really, really need to talk._

_Just get through this, and then maybe we can talk before we fall asleep._

_Come up with a game plan and make sure we’re both on the same page._

He took a shuddering breath, a shaking gasp and he forced his fingers to move, trying to seem normal, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth, as he slowly worked, pinching the area along where Yuri’s neck joined his shoulders, his eyes focused on the way his muscles stretched when he slowly tilted his head down, sighing softly, apparently not having noticed the war he’d ignited within Ryosuke.

_Fuck._

Ryosuke moved his hands gently, working through the muscles along his shoulders to his upper arms, his eyes fixated on Yuri in front of him, on how his shoulders seemed to move down, ever so slightly as he relaxed into his touch. How the tension he always seemed to carry in his neck, in his upper back seemed to be shed as his fingers moved to rub slow circles against the muscles there on his shoulders, gliding downward to his shoulder blades.

He felt a shudder roll through his body, feeling weak, closing his eyes to try to block out the sight, the sensations running from his fingers, spreading through his whole being like a spark of electricity–all of the methods he’d used to keep himself from being too forward, too direct, from scaring or overwhelming Yuri with his desire–seeming to fail him, the connection between them feeling like something tangible in the room to Ryosuke.

For his own part, Yuri had found himself mesmerized under the attention of Ryosuke’s hands, seemingly melting to his very touch. All of his cares felt to him to be falling away as Ryosuke’s fingers worked through the stiff, tired muscles and knots, most of which had plagued him for months, if not years. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so much calm, such peace, and as a matter of absolute fact–love.

It was easy to get lost inside his mind, to think,  _this is who I am now, someone who can be taken care of…someone who can allow himself to be taken care of by Ryosuke._

He’d spent so many years putting up such vast arrangements of barricades and walls to protect himself from the pain which was sure to follow allowing himself to imagine, to dream of Ryosuke feeling the same for him. Too many,  _so many_ moments that he’d rewritten his own emotions, responses, and feelings so that now, it still didn’t come naturally to him, was still so hard for him to accept–to take Ryosuke’s touch as affection and not fan service, or worse just the mere touch of a friend–even when they were alone.

They were moving slowly into this relationship in terms of affection, and sometimes Yuri wondered if it was him or Ryosuke who was the most scared of moving forward with the more physical aspects of their relationship. It seemed to him at least that Ryosuke was completely hands off–not something he was exactly expecting all things considered–as before they declared their feelings for one another it as nearly impossible to keep his hands off of him. Now, all of Ryosuke’s touches seemed tempered, as if they were carefully weighed and measured for impact, that he didn’t initiate contact without a great deal of thought.

He would still brush by him, touch him lightly, anytime he was near, Ryosuke would be touching him somehow–in ways that Yuri was positive were subconscious–a necessary part of being near Yuri.

That hadn’t changed, not for either of them.

In retrospect, Yuri saw it for what it was, of course,  _now_ he understood it for the same ever present, all-consuming need that demanded that there be some contact with the other. He’d certainly made up excuse after excuse for his inability to be within twenty feet of Ryosuke and the fact that he would invariably end up beside him, small touches, a brush or a stroke on the arm, a shove with a hip, or even leaning over him, boldly hugging him and holding him, daring the world to tell him no.

_They’d never dare._

In fact, at this point, he wasn’t sure how he’d managed to maintain the distance he did. Now that he had the freedom to touch him, to hold his hand, to run his fingers through his hair, to hug him when he wanted to…now that he was given these freedoms, he couldn’t imagine how he’d ever been able to survive not having them, for even a moment. Despite the level of restraint he’d held up to this point, the idea that he had the freedom to be affectionate wasn’t lost on him.

Ryosuke felt Yuri take a deep breath, his posture relaxing further, and he wished he could feel such peace. Instead, it felt to him like the room’s temperature had raised by twenty degrees, and a sheen of sweat was dotting his forehead, his bottom lip still firmly caught between his teeth, as his eyes feasted on Yuri’s body set before him. Part of him felt badly, because it was clear to him that Yuri certainly wasn’t thinking in terms of seduction or being seduced, let alone of how Ryosuke might be trying to memorize every single ripple and tense of each muscle of his body as he breathed, as he shifted in minute, tiny ways.

He’d seen Yuri hundreds of times in this state of dress, he’d even caught flashes and glimpses of  him completely naked after showers, visiting saunas, and hot springs–but he never really paid much attention. Still, as he looked at him now, he saw him, really saw him, and to him it felt like it might be the very first time.

He didn’t realize that his motions had changed, his mind moving in a new pattern, his eyes wide and unfocused as his hands explored his skin, back massage forgotten, rather, his fingers glided gently across his skin, watching as the surface pebbled in response, drinking in the soft, smooth feeling under his fingertips, the way the muscles moved and responded to his touch, and when Yuri’s breath released in an airy gasp, Ryosuke froze, his breath caught in his chest, his heart beating wildly.

His breath hitched as he inhaled sharply, his fingertips gliding across his shoulders, pressing into the skin of Yuri’s arms as he leaned forward, grazing his nose across his shoulder, turning his head, his eyes fluttering closed as he inhaled the rich, soothing scent that was uniquely Yuri. He moved his fingertips softly on his arms as he placed a tender kiss on the smooth skin of his neck where it met his shoulder, smiling when he felt Yuri’s body shiver under his delicate touch.

Feeling bold, daring even, somehow allowing himself the freedom to get carried away, just a little bit by the moment, Ryosuke slowly kissed along his shoulder, and then back again, his mouth opening to taste the skin below his ear, his tongue darting out causing Yuri to tilt his head in response, a clear invitation, a low, soft groan coming from Yuri as the sensation rushed across his skin, his body, when Ryosuke gently sucked on his ear lobe.

Ryosuke froze, his hands resting on Yuri’s shoulders, his mouth closed around the curve of his ear, his mind racing as a shiver ran up his spine from the way the noise he’d made played on every single nerve ending. He tried to breathe, tried to force his hands to move, slowly drawing back, kissing his shoulder lightly, trying to think…but all he could manage to acknowledge at that moment was how utterly, completely and without any other competition in the universe that could compare, how unequivocally exquisite that sound was coming from Yuri.

_Coming from Yuri because of my touch._

“Don’t stop,” Yuri’s voice was a whisper as he breathed out softly, “ _Please_.”

Ryosuke’s hands shook as he began to move them again, his breath accelerated in his mixed feelings of both excitement and fear, the alarms in his mind screaming that this was  _too soon_ ,  _too much_ , that he’d promised he wasn’t going to rush these things because he didn’t want to speed them through the early stages of being a couple after so many years of waiting. He’d do anything to ensure that Yuri would never think all he cared about was demand from an entirely too eager passion…he wanted him to know he  _loved_ him, truly, and that what they had wasn’t hinged merely on some physical attraction, some physical need–rather, that what they had was based on what eons of lovers had discovered through the ages, what the saints and poets had spoken of, what bards and minstrels had written songs about– _love_.

He jumped when Yuri twisted, having been lost in his thoughts, shocked when Yuri grabbed one of his hands and pulled it forward under his arm, making Ryosuke lean toward him, his teeth feeling like they were going to bite through his lip, blinking rapidly when Yuri spoke his voice trembling, “Just…ple-please don’t stop…t-touch me, I-I need to know.”

Yuri wasn’t sure when he’d started to consider Ryosuke’s lack of physical affection to be a sign that maybe he didn’t feel as strongly about him as he felt in return–but in this moment, he realized that it was the absolute truth–he was afraid that their feelings weren’t the same somehow.

It was terrifying, and he knew he should discuss it with Ryosuke, but he didn’t  _want to_ , he didn’t want to be like that, the insecure one.

Rather, what he really wanted, nay, needed to know was that Ryosuke felt the same constant demand, the same pull toward him that he felt…the desperate need that seemed impossible to be calmed, yet, something he’d managed to subdue, to keep under his control, but there in the way that Ryosuke’s hands were touching him, the way his fingers felt on his skin, he realized that he just really, truly  _needed_ it.

_I need to know._

He needed his touch, his affection, he needed him to show him how he felt, what he meant to him, and more than anything he wanted to know that  _Ryosuke needed it too_.

He pulled Ryosuke’s hand up, kissing it softly and then he pressed it down onto his chest directly over his heart, looking at the balled up fist resting there and laughing lightly, terrified, in equal parts that maybe this wasn’t something that Ryosuke would want, and alternately, that he  _did_  want it and now he’d pushed him forward, downplaying both fears, he spoke softly, laughing nervously, “Relax Ryosuke, I’m not asking you to do anything you don’t w-want to.”

“I–I want to,” Ryosuke’s response burst out instantly, sharp in absolution, and he moved forward, scootching along the bench, keeping a bit of distance between the two of them, not willing to let Yuri know the condition he was really in, glad that he was facing away, glad he had a bit of privacy as it were to process this, process what was happening, he slowly opened his fist, his head tilting forward to rest his forehead on Yuri’s shoulder as he held his hand flat on his chest, feeling his heart beat racing under his touch, the thrumming movement causing his hand to move with each thump.

He held his hand there, taking a deep breath, his eyes popping open to look down at his knee where Yuri’s hand was now resting, his head tipping back until it rest on Ryosuke’s shoulder. Ryosuke shifted his head up, his lips pressing a tender kiss to his shoulder, his hand moving slowly, timidly exploring Yuri’s chest, softly, gently, listening to his breathing next to his ear to tell him what he liked and what he didn’t like, and when Yuri pressed back, his shoulders shifting and his other hand moved up and behind Ryosuke’s head, holding him there, his fingers twisting into his hair, Ryosuke opened his eyes, his mouth opening as he attempted to find the words to express his emotions, yet, the words were failing him, his eyes fixated on the movement of his hand, the way Yuri’s chest rose and fell as he explored, touching, feeling– _learning_.

Yuri’s eyes were closed, his lips relaxed as he tried to breathe, tried to stay calm, because Ryosuke had no doubt touched him a million times over their life together, but nothing had ever felt like this.

_Nothing._

He felt each touch like it was intensified by a million bolts of lightning, rushing across his skin, through his body like wildfire, a slow groan forming low in his throat, not able to stay silent with the way his hand was touching him. When he heard Ryosuke gasp in response, he ran his fingers softly on his knee, and then drew his hand up to touch Ryosuke’s arm.

Ryosuke’s eyes popped open wide when Yuri’s fingers began moving softly against his own, whispering against his skin, like he was trying to express his appreciation, and then he gripped his wrist, slowly pressing his arm downward. 

The moment Ryosuke realized what he was trying to do, what he was intending, he tried to stop him, utterly terrified, attempting to pull his arm away, but Yuri’s hand held him firm, his head jerking to the side, his eyes wide as he stared at him.

His breath shuddered in soft bursts as it hit Ryosuke’s face, their souls feeling intimately connected, and Ryosuke felt his own body shudder in response to the sheer desperation he saw revealed within Yuri’s eyes, the word intense and heavy in the small space between them, “ _Please._ ”

Yuri hated that he was begging, but to him it felt as if he was going to  _die_ if Ryosuke didn’t touch him, if he didn’t help him, if he didn’t _want this_  as much as  _he_  wanted it–because he’d been plagued with it, and maybe this wasn’t exactly what he’d dreamed of for all of those years…the idea of passion abandoned and wild hands and bodies–instead, finding on a quiet night when they were both tired, a simple soft, quiet whisper, where it felt like nothing in the world mattered beyond the distance of the breath between them.

Ryosuke froze, his eyes piercing as they studied Yuri, and when he realized, when he saw the truth held within Yuri’s, he felt frustration flood through his system.

_All this time I was going slow, thinking I was protecting him…but all I’ve done is given him ample room to think I don’t feel the same way he does._

Yuri felt nervousness course through his system when he saw the moment Ryosuke understood the reality, something he knew he would immediately know if he was brave enough to be honest about it—after all,  _no one knew Yuri better than Ryosuke_ …and while he’d done his best to hide these feelings, he knew now, that he shouldn’t have, didn’t need to, never needed to, because he knew beyond all doubt that the only person who could assuage them was Ryosuke.

Ryosuke’s eyes softened, his expression gentled with tenderness as the words whispered, “ _Oh, Ree_ … _I’m sorry…so sorry_ ,” he shook his head lightly, then slowly closed the distance between them, his lips fluttering against Yuri’s, “ _I love you._ ”

Yuri’s response was lost to a moan when Ryosuke’s lips pressed into his, earnest and purposeful, drawing back moment by moment between fluttering kisses to whisper words aloud which had become suddenly so abundantly clear to Ryosuke that he was frustrated with himself that he hadn’t even noticed, how surely it was that Yuri needed to hear them with every fiber of his being–

_I adore you._

_I cherish you._

_I love you._

_I want you._

_You’re all I need._

_All I’ve ever wanted._

_All I’ll ever want._

_All I’ll ever need._

Ryosuke spoke into existence the very words that Yuri had longed to hear, issued into the ether around them, yet speaking directly to his very heart and soul, the confirmation of what he most desperately wanted to believe was true seemed to hit his skin and flow through his body as they were spoken, causing Yuri to draw Ryosuke toward him into another kiss.

Yuri felt his body tremble when Ryosuke’s hand flattened on his abdomen, laying his shaking hand over top of Ryosuke’s as he pressed against him, drawing his body back on the bench, pulling him toward him, and when his hips shifted, Yuri felt the evidence of Ryosuke’s desire against him, relief flooding through him as he realized how  _completely stupid_ he was, how  _absolutely crazy_ he had been to  _ever_ imagine a world where Ryosuke didn’t need or want him as much as he did.

He groaned, his fingers tangling in his hair, pulling Ryosuke into him, the kiss taking on a new element of passion and need as the understanding filled him with such desire that he had never imagined could exist.

Ryosuke’s fingers traced the edge of the towel, feeling Yuri’s stomach draw in as he inhaled sharply at the sensation, undone by the noise Yuri made, he quickly yanked on the towel to open it, his fingertips touching the satin smooth skin softly, his eyes opening when Yuri’s mouth stopped moving, finding Yuri’s eyes meeting his own, his breath labored, his bottom lip drawing between his teeth, and Ryosuke could not pretend to be unaffected, couldn’t act like he was immune to this–rather, Ryosuke understood, his hips pressing forward without his permission as his own body was aching with need, without another thought, he knew all he wanted to do was to make Yuri feel good, to make him feel his love, understand how much he loved him.

His mouth moved gently, drawing Yuri’s lip out from between his teeth, his touch delicate as he tasted, teased–and then, as his hand explored him, stroking him lightly, unable to suppress his own groan into the kiss along with Yuri as he felt him harden impossibly further underneath his touch. Yuri broke the kiss, a low groan as he leaned his head against Ryosuke’s shoulder, his eyes closing as he relished in the sensations, tingling shivers, the intensity of the pleasure spiraling across all of his senses, and in all of his life he couldn’t have imagined, couldn’t have dreamed of what it would feel like to have him touch his body in such an intimate, sacred way.

To expose himself, become completely vulnerable, reveal himself so fully to Ryosuke, and how bound up by so many emotions the moment was–how the emotional content of the moment was so deeply profound, everything about the experience heightened by the absolution of his love.

Ryosuke kissed Yuri’s cheek tenderly as he took in his closed eyes, his mouth slightly opened as he groaned softly, tilting his head down to watch his hand as he experimented–while at first tentative and uncertain, as Yuri responded to his touch, his caresses became slow, with purpose, exploring him, testing, lingering, drawing out the sensations, becoming a student of Yuri’s body.

Ryosuke’s breath was ragged against Yuri’s shoulder as he took in the exquisite beauty before him, of the way his chest rose and fell, the muscles of his abdomen clenching and flexing, the way his legs were trembling, and the intimate parts of him hidden to him before now…more enticing than he could have imagined, not that he’d specifically given much thought to it, rather, perhaps it was only because it was Yuri that he found beauty there.

Yuri’s head rolled on his shoulder, his breath labored, Ryosuke drew his free hand up to his neck, holding him against him, relishing the way the warm air rushed against his cheek as he gasped, the heady emotion of providing this kind of pleasure to Yuri, of being the one to cause him to respond like this, to make these sounds, to writhe against him like this–it was like a blanket over all of his senses, and he shifted forward slightly, pressing against Yuri’s form, desperate for some relief to the ache he was now nearly overwhelmed by–the intensity growing every moment from the evocative display before him, around him.

“Ry-Ryosuke,” the name was a whisper, a plea, and he understood, his eyes connecting to Yuri’s half open ones, as he sped up his motions, torn between wanting to watch his actions, and wanting to watch Yuri’s reaction to them.

He didn’t have time to make a choice, as he felt Yuri’s body suddenly shuddering against him, his entire being seeming to expand and then contract, and then Ryosuke felt it, the way his body seemed to still completely, his breath coming out in a series of gasps, his expression a work of art, a beautiful display of pleasure, as the warmth of the first wave of his release spilled onto his hand followed by his entire body trembling against him–he continued to stroke him, easing him through, drawing out every possible pleasure, his eyes fluttering closed when Yuri’s mouth was suddenly on his, his lips insistent, his fingers pulling hard at his hair.

Yuri’s breath was ragged, yet, his body seemed to melt into Ryosuke as he drew his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends, and his words were so soft if Ryosuke hadn’t been so close to him, he might not have heard them, “I love you.”

“I love you so much, Ree,” Ryosuke whispered, kissing his neck and then his cheek, pulling back, blinking rapidly in confusion when Yuri was suddenly in motion, brushing Ryosuke’s hand away, shifting quickly on the bench to face him, his entire being overwhelmed by the intensity of the love he felt, of the wholeness he felt in this moment, his lips frantic as he tried to impress upon Ryosuke how important he was, how much love he felt for him, how desperately he needs him, wants him, this day, but yet, every day the same, maybe more as it grows.

He didn’t wait for permission, didn’t feel the need to check to see if what he wanted was okay, he just moved as he was drawn to do, his mouth moving on his as his hand slipped quickly into Ryosuke’s pajama pants, wrapping his fingers around his hard length, groaning at the way it felt in his hand, the idea that he was actually touching his body _, finally_ , in this deeply intimate way, in a way no one else ever had–that Ryosuke was  _his_  and he was allowed to offer such a truly reverent act flooding through his entire soul.

Ryosuke gasped, breaking the kiss with a curse, his entire frame trembling as he tilted his head back, giving Yuri room to move, and Yuri smiled as he bent his head, his mouth dancing delicately in a path across his cheek and down his neck, sucking lightly on the skin on his shoulder.

“Yu-Yuri,” Ryosuke panted, not knowing what he wanted to say, not knowing what he was supposed to say in light of how his entire body felt stretched and taut like a wire drawn too tightly across an instrument, pleasure somehow filtered through every note, but a tension underneath that made him afraid, made him worried.

Yuri pressed kisses on his skin as he made his way back up his neck, drawing to his ear, whispering softly, “You’re fine, Ryosuke, It’s okay, relax…I’ve got you… _let go_.”

Ryosuke groaned, somehow, those words spoke to the parts of him that were held in reserve–the fearful parts that he’d kept long hidden, and as the words rushed through his being, his fingers twined through Yuri’s hair. He clutched him to his chest, his breath caught as he inhaled sharply when he realized how quickly he was approaching his release, for a moment it flashed through his mind–maybe he should be embarrassed, or maybe he should stop him–but as quickly as those words formed in his mind, he bit his lip, trying to stop the flood of words warring to be given flight–instead, he resigned himself to a string of unintelligible sounds filling the air when Yuri’s hand reached the top and twisted, moving quickly back down and he was undone instantly.

He jerked his hands away from Yuri, afraid he’d be too rough, hurt him, leaning back, his hands grasping the bench behind him as his body bowed back, eyes clenched shut, the world turning white as the first spasm of his release washed across his body.

Yuri watched, enraptured by the indescribable beauty of the scene before him, his only regret that he didn’t take the time to get Ryosuke undressed before they did this, his view blocked partly by his pajama pants. Even so, his eyes were only focused there for a moment before they were drawn to Ryosuke’s face, unbelievably gorgeous in the delicate tension of pleasure, as he made noises that Yuri wished he could record because while he’d heard Ryosuke sing in a way that made the audience weep, nothing was more moving and breathtaking than the sounds he was making under his touch.

He realized Ryosuke was nearly there, so he did what he liked, not surprised when he gasped, his body stretching further, no longer able to control himself, his mouth opening as he groaned before a string of words flew out, captivating and perfect, his name laced with words he seldom heard come from Ryosuke’s mouth, but he discovered he rather enjoyed.

Yuri tried to commit the moment to memory, his name falling from Ryosuke’s lips in the throes of passion, not the idol, not the worrisome personality that thought he had to control everything, not any of the myriad of characters he played, rather, just Ryosuke,  _my Ryosuke_ , falling apart right in front of him–and as far as Yuri was concerned the most important part of that was the simple fact that others might not have noticed, or even cared about.

_He knows I’m the one doing this to him._

That’s all that mattered in that moment, and as he continued to stroke him through his release, he bent forward, his mouth landing on Ryosuke’s chest, his lips tender as he placed a kiss above his heart, wanting to brand him, leave him marked, but knowing that it would be unwise–settling for moving up his neck, and when Ryosuke lifted his head, his eyes glassy, his cheeks flushed, his mouth twisted into a cheeky grin Yuri was  _certain he’d never seen before_ , yet he’d  _never_  forget, he struggled to find words, to say something that would fit this moment in time.

Ryosuke took the need away, when his lips met his own, all of the words of the ages spoken between them in a single kiss.

Ryosuke had cleaned up and changed, walking back into the bedroom suffused with the warm glow of happiness and peace from their connection, feeling like he was able to take a deep breath for the first time after holding it for so long. As he approached the bed, he discovered Yuri already curled up in a ball under the blankets, his hands folded under his cheek, looking perfectly contented, and positively angelic in his sleep.

He shuffled over, trying to be quiet as he drew the covers back, attempting to carefully get into the bed without waking him, thinking he was the cutest damn thing he’d seen in his whole life.

"Can we do that again?” Yuri’s voice was small beside him, and Ryosuke jumped then froze, his head slowly turning to look at him, “I thought you were  _asleep_!”

“I’m not,” Yuri stated flatly, raising his eyebrows in impatience, “Can we do that again?”

“What… _now_?” Ryosuke voice went up an octave as he shifted, laying down in the bed to face him.

Yuri’s hand moved to brush Ryosuke’s hair from his face, “No, idiot, not  _now_ …just…that wasn’t like…a one-time thing, right?”

Ryosuke felt heat rise to his cheeks at how forward Yuri was in the conversation but then he chastised himself because after all, they were going to have to have these conversations,  _weren’t they?_

“If you want to,” Ryosuke answered hesitantly, worried, because he still really didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

Yuri sat up instantly, his brows drawn down as he frowned, looking back at Ryosuke, “ _You_  don’t want to?”

Ryosuke sighed, exasperated, suddenly sitting up, his arm grabbing Yuri’s shoulder to drag him backward to lay on him, “I didn’t  _say_  that!”

“You might as well have,” Yuri spoke plainly, rejection and disappointment clear in his tone.

“It’s not that, Ree…I just…”

Yuri shifted, throwing his leg across Ryosuke’s legs, lifting up to look at Ryosuke who immediately closed his eyes, trying to hide himself away, which Yuri wasn’t about to accept, “Stop that! Tell me what you mean!”

“I don’t want you think it’s _all_  I care about…” Ryosuke whispered softly, the words fading quickly as his confidence fell.

Yuri laughed, shaking his head, “What in the  _world_ are you talking about?”

Ryosuke’s eyes opened, looking at Yuri, his expression filled with sincerity, and Yuri realized that he was very serious about this, whatever it was, so he nodded slowly for Ryosuke to continue.

Ryosuke took a deep breath, “I-I’ve…I’ve been worried about it for a while…a little while…I don’t….I mean, it wouldn’t be good if you thought…all I cared about was  _that_ …you know?”

“Why would I think that?” Yuri really didn’t understand, drawing his hand up to stroke Ryosuke’s cheek, trying to encourage him to explain this to him.

“I…It’s just that….I am…” Ryosuke groaned, his hand drawing up to pinch the bridge of his nose while the other held Yuri close, “This is  _hard_ …”

“ _It’s not_ , you’re just making it hard, like  _most_ things,” Yuri dismissed him fully, not meaning to belittle his concerns, but sincerely finding Ryosuke’s thought process in this matter absolutely ridiculous, “Ryo, listen, I’m not stupid, I know that you love me for more than a hand-job after  _eleven freaking months_  of being together as a couple, I mean, _really? C'mon_ …it’s nearly been a year! I think you broke some kind of record for celibacy while living with your boyfriend of something–it’s like you could look into a Guiness world record for bei–”

Ryosuke’s eyes opened, shoving him gently, then he laughed softly, his cheeks pink with embarrassment, “Okay! Okay! Sheesh, I get it, I get it, I guess so…I’m stupid…sorry.”

“You’re not  _stupid_ ,” Yuri leaned up to kiss him quickly, grinning as he lifted up more to be sure he could see his eyes, “I don’t think you’re stupid–it’s just that you’re conscientious, that’s all, you want to be clear with me and I love that about you–but Ryosuke…”

Yuri took a deep breath, “I need to know some things, including  _these kinds_  of things, and I can’t handle you trying to figure everything out by yourself…we’re in this together, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Ryosuke confirmed, his arms wrapping around Yuri to hold him tightly against him.

“Then…” Yuri shuffled even closer, his nose touching Ryosuke’s as he leaned over him, his lips twisting into a lopsided grin before he spoke, “… _answer the damn question._ ”

Ryosuke laughed, his love for this boy fluttering within his heart, his fingers drawing through Yuri’s hair, his voice soft on his skin, “Yes,” Ryosuke lifted his head, kissing Yuri, his lips gentled, gliding softly against him, then drawing back to look at him, smiling cheekily, his words a clear promise, “We’ll  _definitely_  do it again.”


	10. DEAR. Party Monster x29 (aka 29 times Chinen did not die from performing ‘Party Monster’)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (DEAR. concert series, 2016)

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**I have a thread on my Tumblr with the list of Outtakes I will be writing that will be added to this story--**

**you can take a look at that list[HERE](https://jumping-girl-juliet.tumblr.com/post/161770393083/so-i-posted-my-little-hahahahahaha), and feel free to message me here or there with any other outtakes I didn't include that you'd like to see!!**

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##  **[Hey! Say! JUMP LIVE TOUR 2016 DEAR.]**

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## Thursday, July 28 - Osaka-jo Hall (Osaka)

**START 18:00**

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Ryosuke could feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he threw off the outfit he’d been wearing for “Weekender” so he could put on his ‘costume’ for “Party Monster”. His body thrummed with the thrill that he got from this, the feel of the show, the energy from the audience, and was especially looking forward to the response they’d garner from _this_ song in particular. Feeling like most fans were not exactly expecting 7 to show up and show out their more _mature_ side—in particular since 7’s corner often featured them in sparkling bunny outfits—but Ryosuke had pushed for this—and won.

Best’s voices rang out through the arena, somewhere above him, as they sang their song and he was careful to keep strict time in his mind so he would not be late. It would take a few performances before they’d all have their patterns, routines, and methods down well enough to move through the sets swiftly and efficiently.

Of course, he was happy with the way things worked out with the set list, because the timing meant that he and Yuri would have a few minutes in the middle of every performance to be ‘themselves’, if only for a single breath. The rest of their tour days meant being ‘Beautiful Prince Ryosuke’ and ‘Kawaii Baby—albeit spoiled—Chinen’—roles they themselves had carefully cultivated for years—but _sometimes_ resented.

The area Ryosuke went into after “Weekender” ended was secluded, his outfit laid out neatly for him to change into, with a box to put his other costume pieces in so the staff could clean them and prepare them for the next show. Unlike other segments of the show where changing quickly was a necessity—there was a bit of time, so no need for anyone to help. None of the staff, only Ryosuke was in his small holding area, and he knew directly across from him far down the tunnel, Yuri was doing the same as he was. Somewhere along a different branch were Yuto and Keito, also preparing for their next song, and would all meet as 7 in the area of the set they would enter the stage from.

He’d thrown his jeans on, setting them low on his hips careful to not get the lines to his mic and earpiece twisted as he then pulled on the jacket, the material feeling a little uncomfortable against his sweaty skin, but he was used to discomfort when it came to costumes and concerts.

_Nothing new here._

Swiping a towel across his face, he began jogging down the tunnel, the lights from the stages above shining in the corners and cracks gave him the ability to see just enough to traverse it without falling. Turning the corner, he tossed the towel in one of the laundry baskets strategically placed throughout the intricate under stage system. He paused, barely able to make out the end of the tunnel where the rest of 7 would be waiting to enter the stage, reaching down to zip up his jacket.

He jumped when two hands reached around him, then released his breath in a sigh when he felt the familiar silhouette press against his back, Yuri leaning up on his tiptoes to rest his chin on his shoulder, his hands moving around him to hug him tightly from behind, whispering in his ear, voice shaking, “I’m _terrified_ , Ryo-chan.”

Ryosuke grabbed his hands, pulling them apart, turning quickly around to gently cup Yuri’s face his thumbs moving softly across his cheeks, pressing a tiny whisper of a kiss on his trembling lips before he drew back, a smile that spoke of his deep affection, his love, and concern, his voice full of conviction, “You’re _Chinen fucking Yuri_ and _this_ is the thing that scares you?”

Yuri’s eyes were wide and he didn’t move, didn’t blink, just stared like a deer caught in headlights, while Ryosuke reached down to zip up his jacket for him, as his hands were shaking too much to do it on his own.

Ryosuke grabbed his shaking hands after, laughing lightly, pressing forward to tenderly touch his lips again, more insistent as he nibbled softly on them. He felt when the tension began to edge out of Yuri, a soft hum vibrating on his lips, and smiled into the kiss, pulling back but still touching his nose to Yuri’s own, “You can do _anything, Chii-sama_. You are a god among men.”

Yuri laughed at this, in particular at the lofty honorific Ryosuke had bestowed on him, his hands reaching up to rest on Ryosuke’s forearms as he squeezed them, “And you’re _an idiot_ among men,” he grumbled, shaking his head.

Ryosuke’s eyes widened as he realized they were very close to their cue to enter the stage, “Come on!”

He grabbed Yuri’s hand, pulling him down the last stretch of the corridor, bursting into the area causing Keito and Yuto to turn to look at them, neither particularly worried about them not making it on time as they knew there was no way Ryosuke would miss a cue, EVER—unless he was dead. That’s the only way.

Within seconds the cue hit and Keito and Yuto stepped out the doorway, but before Yuri could follow, Ryosuke spun him around, planting a firm, but passionate kiss on his lips, then releasing him just as quickly, “You have _no idea_ how hot you are, so who’s _really_ the idiot here?”

Yuri’s eyes sparkled, and he managed to make it through his first performance of “Party Monster” without dying.

* * *

##  **Friday, July 29 - Osaka-jo Hall (Osaka)**

**START 18:00**

 

* * *

The two boys nearly slammed into each other as they met in the middle of their opposite tunnels, laughing and grabbing one another, as the energy in the arena was amazing—and the two of them had spent the better part of the last hour subtly flirting and more often forthright playing up fanservice, which, in reality, _wasn’t fanservice at all_.

Ryosuke spun them in a circle and then stopped, a soft smile playing at the edge of his lips, his eyes twinkling as they bounced from Yuri’s eyes to his mouth, leaning his head down onto Yuri’s forehead, “I love you, Ree, you’ve got this!”

“Shut up,” Yuri rolled his eyes, huffing dramatically, “I’m fine, I got this now—but I will remind you again that _you’re definitely_ to blame for this.”

“Am I?” Ryosuke smiled, teasing him.

“You know you are!” Yuri laughed, “you and your ‘we need to do ‘Party Monster’—we need to show the fans how much we’ve grown up now!’”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Ryosuke grinned, shuffling closer to Yuri, backing him up against the wall, mock whispering, “I only wanted to do this song because I _knew_ it would drive you crazy.”

“Yes, yes,” Yuri nodded, eyes rolling, sarcasm dripping in his voice, “you get off on watching me squirm, tell me something I don’t know, Yamada.”

“I _get off_ on watching you do pretty much _anything_ , Chiisana,” Ryosuke murmured, his eyes clouding momentarily, “but in this case, it’s about _you_ watching me.”

“Shut up.”

“I know the truth, but I’ll let you live in your denial,” Ryosuke grinned, shamelessly, “Are you _sure_ you don’t need a _little_ encouragement today?”

Yuri looked up through his eyelashes, fluttering them softly, “Maybe a _little_ bit.”

Ryosuke didn’t wait for permission, leaning in and tenderly pressing his lips against Yuri’s, one of his hands twisting into the hair on the nape of his neck, the other pulling him closer around his shoulders, the kiss soft, and sweet, and imbued with love.

Yuri pulled away, cognizant of the time, “Don’t pretend you don’t like the show I put on for _you_ out there, Ryosuke.”

Ryosuke’s eyes were playful, but sincere, “I’ve _never_ even _considered_ denying it,” he leaned his head down to make sure he was looking directly into Yuri’s eyes before he finished speaking, “Watching you during this song _drives me crazy_.”

Yuri sighed, smiling, tilting his head to the side to press forward, placing a soft kiss on Ryosuke’s cheek before leaning up to whisper in his ear, finally answering the statement that began the conversation, “I love you, too.”

* * *

##  **Saturday, July 30 - Osaka-jo Hall (Osaka)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

“What the fuck was that, Chinen!?” Ryosuke had come out of the side of the hallway like a man possessed, slamming into Yuri and pushing him against the tunnel wall where he’d been walking.

Yuri just grinned mischievously, his eyes filled with equal amounts of amusement and what could only be described as pure ‘Chinen’, “I have _no idea_ what you’re talking about, _Yamada_.”

“The hell you say!” Ryosuke responded, pressing his body closer to Yuri, his breath blowing the other boy’s hair back as he tried to calm down, his words harsh and violent, “You damn well know exactly what I’m talking about and if you _ever_ do it again, I swear to all things good and holy, _I will not stop_!”

“Sure, sure, whatev—“ the words were cut off abruptly when Ryosuke’s mouth landed on Yuri’s, his lips and tongue and entire body and soul frantically trying to convey his emotions, matched by Yuri’s own, hands entwining into Ryosuke’s hair, pulling him closer. Then just as quickly as the punishing kiss had begun Ryosuke jerked backward, pulling himself loose, his breath heavy and labored as he shook his head, glaring at Yuri when he casually began walking down the hallway to go to the waiting area, laughing loudly.

“I mean it, Chinen!” Ryosuke called after him, stomping toward him knowing they had only about forty seconds before the cue, “Don’t _ever_ tease me like that on stage again!”

Yuri just laughed beside him, nodding his head, despite his words conveying absolutely no agreement, “Someone likes to dish it out, but sure can’t take it when the tables are turned!”

“Bite me!”

“Later, _maybe_!”

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

Ryosuke had a wardrobe malfunction and couldn’t get his jacket to zip up—rushing to find one of the wardrobe people who managed to get the zipper to work, though they weren’t sure if he was going to be able to unzip it when he was supposed to—it couldn’t be helped.

He barely made it to the holding area moments before the cue happened, the others rushing out through the opening, and Yuri yelped, a furious blush covering his entire body, when Ryosuke’s hand unexpectedly slapped him firmly on the ass, shouting above the roar of the crowd as he pushed him out to the stage, “Go get ‘em, Sexy!”

* * *

##  **Sunday, July 31 - Osaka-jo Hall (Osaka)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

“I hate you,” Yuri mumbled, his eyebrows drawn down, glaring at Ryosuke, his lips forming the perfect pout.

“You _don’t_ ,” Ryosuke responded, not even remotely bothered by the stern words, his eyes drifting down to the jeans Yuri was wearing, the jeans that actually _fit him_ , “but that’s fine, you’ll get used to the new pants, the others were way too…ugly.”

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

“I still hate you,” Yuri was fuming, his arms crossed as he stared at the floor between them, then throwing his arms out to the side, gesturing down to his body, “They’re way too tight! You can like….see things!”

“First of all, I _like_ to ‘see things’ of yours, second, _THIS is exactly_ why you should let me shop for you all the time, you don’t even know when clothes fit you properly!” Ryosuke’s eyes drifted over Yuri’s body with such an intimate, discerning gaze that Yuri almost wanted to cover himself, “You look _gorgeous_ , so no, you’re not getting the other pants back—I’ve already tossed them. And instructed the wardrobe people to deny your request for any pants other than the ones that I give to them.”

Yuri stomped his foot, and Rysosuke had to bite his lip to keep from grabbing him and kissing him senseless as nothing was cuter than when Yuri didn’t get his way.

“You suck so bad!” Yuri pouted, storming across the area to stand behind Yuto when the cue began.

“That’s _not_ what you said a few hours ago,” Ryosuke whispered smoothly into his ear causing Yuri’s body to shiver as his lips barely touched his skin.

_Touche._

* * *

##  **Friday, August 12 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**START 18:00**

* * *

Ryosuke walked into the waiting area where Yuto and Keito were already waiting, tired and not really feeling it today. For starters, he had to leave the house super early this morning while Yuri got to sleep in. Plus, he’d just arrived home yesterday from ten days of filming overseas and he was so jetlagged he wanted to sleep for a week. He loved sleep on a normal basis but he _really_ loved sleep when he was deprived of it.

He’d made a mistake when he’d agreed to the filming of a special promotional video for FMA for this morning, he had no idea why he’d agreed to it, but of course, the rest of the cast and crew had come home last week. He and a small crew had stayed back to work on a few detail scenes that only required him. The Japan based crew set up the promo filming and while they would have certainly worked it around his schedule, he’d agreed without thinking about it.

He wasn’t usually a negative person, and there’s really not much that would make him irritated at Yuri, except when he messed with his sleep. Dragging himself out of bed this morning while glancing over and seeing Yuri sleeping soundly like a damn princess, sprawled out across the bed, set the tone for his entire day.

_Grumpy._

If Yuri was freaking Snow White then he was _most definitely_ Grumpy.

Ryosuke leaned back against the wall, tilting his head down and closing his eyes. Yuri stepped into the room, glancing at him curiously, moving to stand next to him, his hand moving out to twist his pinkie with Ryosuke’s own, tightening it until he was holding it firmly.

“You okay?” Yuri whispered, head turned so that the other boys wouldn’t hear them talking.

“Fine.”

“I’m _really_ sorry, Ryo-chan.” Yuri shook his hand a little bit, trying to lighten the mood.

“You should be,” Ryosuke huffed, cracking one eye open to look at him, trying not to laugh, “Who wakes someone up at three in the morning when they know they have to get up at _five_?”

“I forgot that your thing was today, that’s all,” Yuri whispered, sincerity painting his words, daring a small smile, “Please, forgive me?”

“I mean,” Ryosuke continued, the edge of his mouth curling in amusement, “generally speaking, I don’t discourage your…” he leaned up off the wall to put his mouth next to Yuri’s ear so the others wouldn’t hear, his voice slow and seductive, exaggerating his ‘Yuri’ voice, “…middle of the night ‘ _please_ , Ryosuke, I _need_ you to make love to me, I _can’t wait_ another minute for you, I _missed_ you so much I need you, please, _take me_ , take me _now’_ wake up calls—but not when I’ve just went to bed, with the worst kind of jetlag ever, at midnight and would be _lucky_ to get five hours of sleep.”

Yuri scoffed, shoving Ryosuke with his free hand, “That’s not what I said!”

Ryosuke narrowed his eyes and raised his eyebrows in a way that told Yuri to not try to bullshit his way out of this.

“Well, I mean, that’s not _exactly_ what I said,” Yuri hedged, blinking innocently, “Not exactly?”

Ryosuke couldn’t keep a straight face, moving forward to kiss Yuri’s cheek before leaning his head around to whisper in his ear again, “I could be getting a _few_ words wrong—that’ll happen when you wake up from a dead sleep with your boyfriend’s hand down your pajama pants, your body already getting things started _without_ you, and with said boyfriend whispering in your ear, ah, what were the words again? ‘I’m gonna make you come so hard’, in the blurry moments between sleep and awareness.”

Yuri couldn’t help but laugh, he was completely shameless, and had he known Ryosuke had to get up this morning, he _probably_ wouldn’t have taken matters into his own hands, so to speak, but there’s a pretty big chance he still would have cause…. _well, boy’s got needs, right?_

“Tell me how to make it up to you,” Yuri sighed, lifting Ryosuke’s hand up to kiss it lightly, then holding it against his chest.

The cue was moments away, and Ryosuke glanced over to look at Yuri, a smirk causing his face to look more adorable than usual, “You can apologize by letting me buy you some new clothes, ones _I_ pick out for you.”

“You’re _a monster_ ,” Yuri scowled when Ryosuke burst out laughing, kissing his nose quickly before he dragged him to the door to enter the stage.

* * *

##  **Saturday, August 13 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

They held hands softly as they walked through the last hallway to the waiting area, a feeling of peace and joy filling them both. It was a simple gesture, a simple moment in the whirlwind of chaos that was the concert, but it leveled them both, grounded them, and it’s just what each of them needed.

Ryosuke’s arms reached around his waist to pull Yuri back into him moments before they would be going onto the stage, his voice soft and gentle despite the clear tension that was running through his body from the high the concert was giving him, “I love you.”

Before Yuri could respond, Ryosuke had grabbed his arm and pulled him out onto the stage, but while the crowd was screaming in anticipation, the area of the stage they were standing covered in darkness, Yuri managed to whisper into Ryosuke’s ear, “I love you, too!”

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

There were fifteen to twenty minutes of extra time due to some kind of skit and performance that Best was adding to their corner just because Daiki and Hikaru insisted, so Ryosuke had made it to the holding area as quickly as he could, sat down on the floor, bending his legs up to prop his arms on them, and promptly fell asleep.

He was in this position when Yuri walked into the room, his eyes moving over his form as he smiled in appreciation, moving quickly to sit down next to him—it was enough to just be near him, his energy was so soothing, so addictive, and it seemed to him that just being close to Ryosuke was enough for him to be able to bask in the glow of his aura—to be stronger, more capable, more content.  He sat down, careful to not bump into him.

_I should let him sleep._

He looked over at his face, serene as it was laid atop his arms, his mouth slightly open as he breathed softly.

_He’s so beautiful. I love him so much. I should really let him sleep. Just a little bit though…_

He scooched just a little bit closer, pressing as much of his side up against him as he dared to prevent waking him.

He froze when he heard Ryosuke’s sleepy voice, “C’mere, Chiisana,” his hand lazily reached around his shoulders, pulling him over, as he shifted to move between Ryosuke’s legs, “You’re a better pillow…” Ryosuke mumbled as he pulled him back against him, resting his head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around his waist, legs still bent up like walls to protect them, as he appeared to fall immediately back to sleep.

Yuri nestled into him, pulling out his phone to scroll through his messages, nothing unusual there, then clicking through some of his other games, trying to find a distraction. Somehow, he ended up on a gossip site, and somehow, he was reading a thread titled ‘Yamachii, real or not?”.

He was confused by the question but as he read he found that fans were trying to decide if he and Ryosuke were actually in a relationship or not. There were fans who insisted they were, backing up their belief with anecdotes and pictures, and then others who insisted that they were definitely not dating because they either were 1) not gay 2) not gay or 3) definitely not gay—that was setting aside the fans who insisted that they were dating _other_ members of Jump—and completely ignoring those who were convinced they were partaking in multi-member orgies nightly.

He found all of it rather amusing and a little alarming as well, because while he’d always though they were rather clever and smart about handling their relationship in public—it was clear to him that those who had figured it out, certainly had ample evidence to back it up…subtle things that neither of them thought anyone would pick up on. Looks, touches, words, jewelry…

He clicked on another thread out of morbid curiosity, the title intriguing ‘who’s bigger, Yamada or Chinen?’—intriguing that is until he realized what it was actually about. His eyes widening as he realized that these fans were _not_ talking about their height! These fans were bringing up science and genetics and pictures and _what the_ …

Yuri’s thumb slowly scrolled the screen down, his eyebrows furrowing, and then he jumped when Ryosuke’s hand lifted, plucking the phone out of his hand, turning it off and sitting it on the floor next to them. His hand reached up to turn Yuri’s face to the side so he could kiss him on the cheek, then whispered, “Why are you reading that garbage, Chiisana?”

Yuri shrugged, wanting to say he was misled, but if he’d admit it to himself he’d have to be honest that he had a pretty good idea of what the conversation was going to be before he clicked it, “I just was curious.”

“I don’t know why you worry about that,” Ryosuke murmured, his voice still softened with sleep, “I love you the way you are.”

Yuri leaned his head back, tilting it to look up at the ceiling, “I don’t have _many_ insecurities, but…”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever felt like I was dissatisfied with you? On any level? I mean, be honest, think back, neither of us were anything other than babies when we were sixteen, when I started to have _those kind_ s of feelings for you, so I mean, I was paying attention, way more than I should have been when we’d be changing and things like that—and _you_ were bigger than _me_ then. It didn’t occur to me to even care about that—so I didn’t, because seriously? We’re all different!”

“And then…consider, I mean…then when…we were figuring out our…way around things and neither of us had any idea what we were doing other than we wanted to make the other feel good—it just didn’t matter? I mean, did you think I was somehow unsatisfied, or did I made you think I didn’t have stars in my eyes every time I got the chance to see your body?”

Yuri didn’t have to wonder that, if there was anything that Ryosuke was, it was honest, and there was no other place in the world that he was _more honest_ than when they were together intimately, sometimes to the point that it was shocking to Yuri, “I know that’s never happened.”

“So, have you ever seen me not respond when I’ve just _looked_ at your body, _just looked_ at you, not even being touched?”

“No, you always do.” It was true, a five-minute strip tease would have Ryosuke _ready to go_.

“And has there been a time _you_ haven’t been satisfied?”

“Of course not,” he scoffed, because Ryosuke had never left him wanting.

“Then _why does it matter_?”

“Why, I mean…because it’s…” Yuri twisted, his legs moving under Ryosuke’s bent one, looking at him openly, “I don’t know, it just does—it’s a guy thing, isn’t it?”

Ryosuke shrugged, “Is it though? I mean, does it have to be? I couldn’t care less.”

“Yes, guys always talk about it, Johnny’s are the worst,” Yuri muttered, “and _you’re_ not normal, because you’ve just always known how freakishly sexy you are, I mean before you even understood anything about your body you were already too much, Ryosuke, you have no idea how everyone talked about it. Older Johnny’s used to say that you were going to kill your first lover from exhaustion,” Yuri laughed, followed quickly by Ryosuke shaking his head, embarrassed, casting his eyes down to look at Yuri’s chest, as a deep blush rushed over his skin, “and you know as well as I do—you’ve never questioned that your body was designed to give and receive pleasure— _everyone_ knows that!”

Ryosuke glanced back up at Yuri, his expression pensive, “First of all, I was designed to give _you_ pleasure and receive _pleasure from you, Chinen Yuri_. Nothing else. No one else. I don’t care what others see when they look at me. I _only care_ what I see in your eyes. Second, you’re barely five-foot-tall when you stand up straight, and weigh less than a hundred pounds, you are _perfectly_ proportioned for your height and weight, _nothing_ unusual there,” Ryosuke reached up to stroke his face, when he started to shake his head, “Hey, listen to me,” he pulled up Yuri’s chin so he could look into his eyes, “ _You’re perfect_ , I love you just the way you are, I wouldn’t change anything about you, _nothing_ , I swear.”

“But you say all of this like it’s normal to be like me, but _we’re_ different?”

“I don’t know why you keep saying that kind of stupid stuff,” Ryosuke huffed, “I’m normal, you’re normal.”

“But, you’re short and small too, but you’re….well, you know…bigger than me.”

“I just don’t think you have a wide enough basis of comparison,” Ryosuke laughed, “ _Everyone’s different_.”

“I don’t want a fucking basis of comparison, and you damn well better not have a wide range to base _your_ thoughts off either!” Yuri hissed, his hand running up Ryosuke’s neck to pull his hair teasingly, but possessively.

“I know what _you_ know, Ree, we were _both_ virgins,” he pulled Yuri’s hand from his hair, lining their palms up together, illustrating the point he was trying to make perfectly when their hands were different sizes.

Yuri blinked, then looked back at Ryosuke, who was grinning, his eyes alight with humor, “Though I do have to admit—I rather _love_ when you get jealous because it always makes you say the word _fuck_ ,” Ryosuke smiled softly, reaching forward, pulling his head toward him until their foreheads touched, “I don’t need, or _want_ to know anything else, and if I say I think you have the most perfect, beautiful body in the entire world, from the silky smoothness of your hair that always smells like strawberries and cream, to the spot on the bottom of your foot that makes you squeal like a girl…”

Yuri laughed, shaking his head, as Ryosuke reached down to lift his hand, his fingers slowly drawing across the webbing of skin between Yuri’s fingers, “From the way I can caress between your fingers and you’ll get turned on,” Yuri jerked his hand away laughing, because his hands were exceptionally sensitive and it was one of the many ways Ryosuke discovered he could subtly toy with him without others noticing, shoving Ryosuke, “…to the way you have those two little dips right above your ass that feel like they were made for my thumbs to fit in.”

He took a deep breath, his tone becoming lower and more serious, “Chiisana, I can go from head to toe and you need to believe me when I say, you—body, mind, spirit—are delightful to me in every way—all of it is what I want, _need_ , and that includes your perfectly sized beautiful cock that I can’t get enough of, because I love what you do with it and all the things I can do with it—‘cause let’s be honest here, whatever doesn’t fit in is pretty much a waste—and when you are so deep I feel your ba—“

Insecurities long forgotten as Ryosuke’s words washed over him with a furious blush, Yuri pressed forward, silencing him with a kiss to shut him up both because once Ryosuke started to talk dirty, he didn’t just talk dirty, he talked _dirty_ , and there was hardly any stopping him and secondly because he sincerely didn’t want to go out on stage to perform with a hard on which would be the inevitable result if he allowed Ryosuke to continue.

_Later._

* * *

##  **Sunday, August 14 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

“Why do you have to make everything so difficult! Just open your stupid mouth!” Yuri pushed against Ryosuke’s chest causing him to stumble backwards a bit.

“Not until you tell me what you have!”

“Nevermind, I am not giving it to you!” Yuri stormed off down the hallway, and the cue happened before Ryosuke could catch him.

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

“God, fuck, FINE!” Ryosuke stomped his foot like a petulant child as he closed his eyes and held his mouth open.

Yuri tried to not gloat at winning, even though he _always_ won, despite Ryosuke’s absolute stubbornness, instead, he quickly pulled the treat he’d been carrying around with him all day out of his pocket, unwrapping it and popping it into the boy’s mouth.

Yuri’s finger lifted, pressing upward on Ryosuke’s chin so he’d close his mouth. Ryosuke’s eyes popped open, a soft satisfied hum issuing as the candy seemed to melt in his mouth, leaving behind the flavor of sweet vanilla buttercream.

Yuri smiled at him with satisfaction, “You should trust me, I’d _never_ hurt you.”

* * *

##  **Saturday, August 20 - Marine Messe Fukuoka (Fukuoka)**

**START 17:00**

* * *

“The hell?” Ryosuke was staring at Yuto who was literally bouncing off the walls of the waiting area, “What is _wrong_ with you?”

Yuri came into the area, catching Ryosuke’s eyes and frowning, before he walked over to Yuto, grabbing his arm, and making him look at him, “Yutti, did you eat ALL of these?!”

Yuri held up a bag in the hand that wasn’t restraining Yuto, who suddenly burst out into laughter, doubling over as he reached out and grabbed the bag.

“What the…” Ryosuke stomped over, snatching the bag out of Yuto’s hand which was easy since he was suddenly passing him as he dashed down the hallway behind them distracted by something or another. Ryosuke looked down at the bag in his hand, holding it up on the light so he could read it.

“Damn,” Ryosuke mumbled, looking down the hallway where Yuto had ran so far so fast that he could no longer see him, “How many pieces of buttercream candies were left in this bag?”

“All but the one I gave you yesterday,” Yuri mumbled, looking nervously down the hallway hoping to see Yuto return as the cue was only a minute or so away.

“Fuck,” Ryosuke glanced at him, eyes wide and worried, “That’s a lot of sugar, Ree!”

“Like I don’t know!” Yuri threw his hands up in the air, then reached up to pull his own hair in desperation.

_Thirty seconds._

“What are we going to do?” Keito asked softly, making both of the other boys jump out of their skin.

Before they could answer, they heard the sound of Yuto screaming faintly in the distance down the tunnel, slowly the sound grew louder and louder echoing through the tunnel, the pounding of his footsteps as he ran like drumbeats on the floor below their feet, when suddenly he burst out past them, nearly knocking them all down, screaming something about seeing sounds, before he barreled out the opening on stage, right on time with the cue.

“We’re in trouble,” Ryosuke mumbled, shoving the other two members toward the door.

“At least it will be memorable,” Yuri laughed as they stepped out onto the stage to find Yuto jumping up and down, in the darkness, already screaming like in the beginning of the song despite the mic not being on yet.

_Memorable was an understatement._

* * *

##  **Sunday, August 21 - Marine Messe Fukuoka (Fukuoka)**

**START 17:00**

* * *

“Damn it!” Ryosuke startled at the curse word from Yuri’s mouth, looking next to him where Yuri was fumbling with his jacket, trying to zip it, hardly ever hearing him swear, maybe when they were being intimate, or he was exceptionally upset about something, but certainly _never_ when they were working.

“What’s wrong?” He turned his body to shelter Yuri from the other boys in the area, subtle and sensitively, he stepped forward a bit, reaching out to grasp Yuri’s hands in his own, looking down at them when he realized how much they were shaking.

“Yuri,” he whispered, his eyes looking into Yuri’s alarmed and confused, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Fucking Hikka,” Yuri hissed, his head wobbling strangely on his shoulders, “He talked me into drinking one of those flavored drinks he brought!”

“Damn it,” Ryosuke scolded him, squeezing his hands, “I told you to stay away from those things, Ree! They’ve killed people! They have enough caffeine and other so called ‘natural’ drugs in them to kill an ox and you’re literally a hundred pounds soaking wet!”

Ryosuke growled, pulling Yuri’s shaking hands forward so he would rest them on his shoulders while he reached forward, tugging at his jacket so he could zip it up for him. Once he’d zipped it up, he glanced back up to see Yuri still staring at him, “What?”

“I love you,” Yuri whispered, squeezing his shoulders softly.

“If you love me don’t take _stupid risks_!” Ryosuke barked back at him, then sighed when Yuri’s face crumpled, his eyes shifting away at the way he’d scolded him.

“I’m sorry,” he leaned around to try to get contact with Yuri’s eyes, “Hey, hey….I’m sorry!”

Yuri blinked up at him, his eyes misty with unshed tears, the high he’d been experiencing fading as quickly as it’d hit him, “I’m sorry, Ryo, I didn’t mean to…”

Suddenly Yuri was bawling his eyes out and Ryosuke growled, planning all the ways he was going to make Hikaru pay for this, shuffling Yuri over to the dark corner on the other side of the area where the others wouldn’t hear them, “Hey, stop, Chiisana, you’re okay…”

Ryosuke pulled him into a hug, one hand pulling him up around the waist, the other cradling his head against his heart, “I didn’t mean to yell at you…I was scared, I don’t…I just need you, okay? Just don’t do things that scare me like this.”

His voice was soft and like silk on Yuri’s skin and he nodded his head onto Ryosuke’s chest, the material of the jacket a weird sticky feeling now that it was wet with his tears, “Okay, I didn’t mean to I jus—“

Ryosuke stopped his words with a gentle kiss, his hands moving to cup his face, slowly tasting him, touching him, drinking him in, and losing himself in his soft, supple mouth.

“Guys!” Keito called from across the space and they both froze, lips still touching, tongues still entangled, their eyes wide open and shocked at how they had lost track of everything except each other.

“Forty-five seconds, get your shit together,” Yuto called out, laughing loudly as he lined up behind Keito to go out onto the stage.

* * *

##  **Saturday, August 27 - Sekisui Heim Super Arena (Miyagi)**

**START 17:00**

* * *

They boys had stopped at the corner they normally met, both panting and out of breath as the crowd was especially energetic tonight. Ryosuke was leaning onto the wall, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, his jacket on the floor beside him because he couldn’t fathom putting it on yet.

Yuri walked to him, holding out the water bottle he’d been drinking that was about half full to Ryosuke.

“Thanks!” Ryosuke took the water bottle, opening it quickly and then tilting his head back, closing his eyes as the cold water splashed into his mouth and his parched throat, humming in satisfaction as he gulped it down.

He drained the bottle quickly, the plastic making a popping noise as he released the pressure from it and rolled his head, glancing at Yuri who was still standing in the same place as before, his eyes round, and his mouth slightly open.

Ryosuke stood up, shifting his weight, and still looking curiously at Yuri, who suddenly blinked rapidly, shaking his head, laughing before he reached over and punched Ryosuke in the chest lightly, “No one should be that sexy doing something as mundane as drinking water.”

Ryosuke raised an eyebrow, his stance becoming predatory, murmuring, “Sexy, huh?” as he moved forward toward Yuri who caught on quick and turned to run down the tunnel to the waiting area.

The other two members of 7 just rolled their eyes when they burst into the area laughing.

* * *

##  **Sunday, August 28 - Sekisui Heim Super Arena (Miyagi)**

**START 17:00**

* * *

Ryosuke was leaning against the wall in the holding area, his legs apart enough to keep his balance, his arms crossed, eyes closed, _so tired_ , so very tired when Yuri came out of the hallway, glancing at him and frowning.

He knew Ryosuke was exhausted, and he was glad there was a break in shows coming up. Now if he could just get someone, anyone at Johnny’s to understand that he needed a break. At least the next few weeks would be _calmer_ , just the normal shows they did, nothing else, no promotions, no films, no videos…so he’d been planning some surprises.

Without a word, Yuri moved to him, shuffling so that he could press backwards into him, Ryosuke’s arms moved immediately to wrap around Yuri’s waist—his own arms crossing so his hands lay on top of Ryosuke’s. He nestled into him, his back curling against Ryosuke’s chest, leaning his head to rest on his shoulder as he closed his own eyes.

He was going to take Ryosuke to the ocean. They had an unusual five-day free period next week that he knew Ryosuke didn’t even realize, so he’d made reservations for them at a seaside resort, especially appealing since it was very exclusive with its own private beach so they wouldn’t have to worry about fans or papa finding them, one that offered a spa package, and a penthouse suite that was built like a lighthouse, with windows that spanned the circular shaped room, allowing a 360 degree view of the landscape and the ocean. He stopped himself from scheduling too many activities, just making a reservation for a few dinners but nothing more, hoping they’d just waste away the days on the beach, and the nights in each other’s arms.

He smiled, humming softly, when the hands around his waist tightened, as he felt Ryosuke turn, softly kissing the side of his head before he leaned down to rest his forehead on his shoulder.

It was only seven minutes until cue, but for those seven minutes all was at peace in their world.

* * *

##  **Saturday, September 17 - Hokkaido Prefectural Sports Center (Hokkaido)**

**START 16:00**

* * *

“I’m not even remotely kidding, Yamada!” Yuri hissed, stomping down the hallway toward the waiting area, “I swear I will cut you off completely, and I mean _not just from this_ ,” he gestured his hands up and down his body, “I will ignore you in every way if you don’t stop! Hell, I’ll go stay with my sister!”

“Yuri…” Ryosuke whined, chasing after him, “Don’t be like that! I’m _fine_ , you’re making a big deal about noth—“

Yuri spun quickly, a tiny storm cloud as he stepped straight up to Ryosuke, face tilted, eyes squinted as he poked his finger into his chest, voice absolute, “Don’t. You. Dare. Say. Nothing!” Each word was punctuated by a sharp jab to the chest causing Ryosuke to lift his hand to rub the spot when Yuri dropped his hand, frowning.

“If you won’t tell them, I damn well intend to!” Yuri didn’t back down, nothing about his posture or demeanor indicated he would let this go, and Ryosuke sighed running his hands through his hair, shaking his head.

Yuri’s face softened, eyebrows drawing down as he frowned, concern clear in his eyes, “You could barely move after last night’s show…I know you tried to hide it from me, but even while you were sleeping, your face was pained…” he whispered, blinking back tears, “I-I can’t watch you suffer like that just because of your stupid stubbornness.”

“Yuri—“

“Don’t—don’t do that, don’t try to tell me what I’m feeling is wrong. Last year when I miscalculated my flip and sprained my ankle you nearly came unhinged, and didn’t let me do anything for three months! I am _allowed_ to be overprotective too!”

“You’re right.”

“I mean, you’re not the only one here,” he scrubbed away a tear, “who has worries and fears—I love you, I don’t want to have to watch you hurting, _it hurts me_.”

“I know.”

“You need to tell them so they’ll fix the dances, I can’t be okay if you aren’t okay…”

“I’ll tell them.”

“I mean it, I’m going to make yo—wait…what?”

“You’re right,” he kissed the tip of Yuri’s nose, “I know it hurts you,” another kiss to his forehead, “and I will tell them the truth,” his lips gently touched Yuri’s, his hands moving to cup his face, his thumb stroking his cheek as he swiped away a tear, “Don’t cry, Chiisana, I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“ _You promise_?”

“I promise.”

“Don’t make me resort to threats just to get you take care of yourself, Ryo!”

“Okay.”

“Kiss me, you idiot.”

“ _Gladly._ ”

* * *

##  **Sunday, September 18 - Hokkaido Prefectural Sports Center (Hokkaido)**

**START 15:00**

* * *

Ryosuke’s hand entwined into Yuri’s hair as he held him, the first moment they’d had all day to just be still and take a breath, “I’m sorry about not saying the truth to them before, thank you.”

“You act like you should be superman, Ryo,” Yuri turned his head, inhaling the scent that was all Ryosuke, humming in satisfaction.

Ryosuke squeezed his arms around Yuri’s waist, rocking him back and forth as he spoke, “I wish I could be superman sometimes, is that wrong?”

“Not wrong, but even Superman has weaknesses—“ Ryosuke started to say something but Yuri, pulled his head back, looking him in the eye as he leaned forward, kissing him softly, his lips brushing gently, soothingly, tickling Ryosuke’s mouth as he finished his thought, “you are MY hero, make that enough—and when you do end up with whiplash because you steadfastly refuse to let a stuntman do the STUNTS he’s actually paid to do—then please, don’t take _additional_ risks by doing dances that require you to get on your knees—“

“I like getting on my knees under _certain conditions_ , even with whiplash—“

“Stop being a perv,” Yuri pushed his chest with both hands, “I’m serious here. Ryo, I need you to be okay, you have to take care of yourself—you’d literally kick my ass if I took risks like you do!”

“I know…I know, I’m sorry, I’ll be better!”

“You _won’t_ , don’t lie to me, I know you better than that.”

“Well, at least I’ll _try_ to not get hurt again, and I’ll tell them truth if I’m hurt—so, you know, thank you for encouraging me to be honest with the others about the pain I’m in.”

“All you needed was a little _encouragement_ ,” Yuri laughed, pulling back to look at Ryosuke with a dazzling smile.

“If by ‘ _encouragement_ ’ you mean blackmail, then fine, yes, I needed the special brand of ‘Yuri encouragement’, I guess,” Ryosuke laughed, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead before pulling back to look into his eyes.

“I can’t watch you suffering, you can’t ask me to not react to the way it hurts me. It’s just a few moves that they had to change, no one will even notice in the audience, and frankly, even if they do, _I don’t care_ —I’m worried about you, that’s all that matters to me.”

“ _You’re_ all that matters to me,” Ryosuke whispered, pulling Yuri into his arms to bury his face in his hair.

“As it should be,” Yuri stated firmly, smiling as he pressed a soft kiss onto Ryosuke’s neck before they turned to go to cue.

* * *

##  **Saturday, October 1 - Hiroshima Green Arena (Hiroshima)**

**START 17:00**

* * *

Best had some silly thing they were adding to the show, so 7 would have at least five, potentially ten, extra minutes before cue. Ryosuke moved a little slower than usual, making it to the holding area last, smiling when he saw Yuri had already sat in the far corner, looking up when he came in, patting the surface of the floor next to him.

Ryosuke moved over and sat down next to him, laying his jacket to the side because he was still trying to cool down from the last song. He leaned his head back against the wall for a few moments, closing his eyes before he heard Yuri snicker next to him. Peeking an eye open, he glanced over to see a picture of them together on his phone, one from maybe when they were seventeen, possibly eighteen—traveling to some city or another, for some show or another.

They looked like total dorks and it was abundantly clear to the most casual observer that they were crazy, head over heels in love with each other even then—but neither of them were prepared to admit it, let alone act on it.

He’d long mused about the fact that Yuri had some kind of uber amazing phone because he had the most exhaustive collection of pictures of the group as anyone could ever find. It was crazy how many pictures he had. Not just snapshots he’d taken himself, but he would download images from photoshoots and things that he enjoyed as well. He had folders for all of the members on his phone, and Ryosuke always laughed when he considered the title of his folder—‘My Soul’.

When he’d discovered the folder years ago, he’d asked Yuri why it was labeled that, and amid a great deal of stalling and stuttering he’d given him some lame reason like ‘we’re good friends, that’s what I do’—and Ryosuke hadn’t really challenged it at the time despite the fact that everyone else’s folders were labeled with their given names.

Another year had passed, both of them nineteen, and Yuri had handed Ryosuke his phone as he was drifting off to sleep when they were traveling to another tour stop, “If my Mom texts, just answer like you’re me, okay?”

“Sure, sure.”

He’d planned to change all of his icons to something stupid like unicorns and fairies, which in truth he figured Yuri would actually like, but got distracted while shuffling through his folders to find the downloaded images by a new folder name in the list.

_Fantasy._

Part of Ryosuke knew that this was perhaps an invasion of privacy, but Yuri had never hidden anything from him before, ever. He also thought, innocently, that this folder would probably have pictures from one of the online games he played or something like that.

He covered his mouth to keep from making noise that would wake Yuri up, his eyes wide and unfocused as he looked down at him sleeping peacefully in his lap, completely unaware of what Ryosuke had just discovered.

The ‘fantasy’ folder most certainly did NOT contain pictures of fictional character or other mythological images—rather it was a folder full of pictures of Ryosuke. Pictures from photoshoots, but not the cute, fun, silly ones—no, these were different, ones of him from magazines like An-an where they pushed the boundaries of what was and wasn’t okay for an Idol his age. There were also pictures that Ryosuke was truly shocked by—ones of him, candid, that he didn’t even know Yuri had taken. Some of them were during times they would go swimming, others were from the dressing room, some were from different photo shoots where Yuri would have a break while they took Ryosuke’s individual shots--some even of him sleeping, sometimes in Yuri’s bed when they spent the night together. Either way, all of the images had one thing in common—they were all very sensual, erotic pictures.

He quickly closed the folder, unsure about what he was feeling, conflicted, and set the phone down on the tray in front of him, closing his eyes, trying to make sense of his thoughts.

_Why would he have a folder like that with pictures like that of me?_

_What would he be doing with them?_

_A folder labeled…fantasy._

_I know what I would do with those kinds of pics of Yur…_

_Holy fuck!_

He opened his eyes, looking down at Yuri, looking so innocent, so preciously sweet there in his lap, a tiny puffing sound each time he breathed out, and Ryosuke couldn’t believe that he had a folder of pictures of him that he used to get himself off with.

Without meaning to, his mind flitted to the image, his imagination instantly creating a full color movie of Yuri, on his bed, the same bed they’d spent hours playing video games on, slept together on, stroking himself while looking at those images of _HIM_ , his face intense with pleasure as he called out Ryosuke’s name.

_The fuck._

He groaned, trying to shift, suddenly uncomfortable with Yuri laying exactly where he was in his lap, trying to avert his eyes, to look anywhere other than down at him, because the more he looked, the more he actually _saw_.

He was beautiful, one of the most beautiful boys he’d ever known. Not just the outside either, Yuri’s mind was a delight and he loved to see his take on the world around them, so genuine, so full of innocence. He’d spent the last three years or so in complete and utter denial of the fact that he was crushing his ass off on this boy—for multiple reasons, one being he was a Johnny and relationships were expressly forbidden, second, he had no idea if Yuri was even straight, bi, or gay or somewhere else on the spectrum of sexuality—it’s just not a conversation they’d had, and obviously because of their job—they talked about girls A LOT. Finally, Ryosuke was absolutely positive the shit storm it would create within Jump would not justify taking the risk.

Still, he couldn’t deny—now that he knew, that on some level or another, Yuri definitely looked at him as something _other_ than just friend—he had long been attracted to Yuri. His mind, his body, his smile, the way he smirked when he got an answer right, the way he raised the bar constantly to make everyone work harder, the way he personally saw to Ryosuke, always taking care of him when no one even noticed. He was a consistent factor in Ryosuke’s life—and he was startled to think the world ‘love’ in the same moment that he would see Yuri’s face in his mind.

_I love Yuri?_

He was strong, not just strong to be able to do the things he did like acrobatics and stunts—but strong with his spirit. He was even _more_ shy and reserved than Ryosuke was, but people wouldn’t ever guess it—because when he had to be, he flipped the switch and became instantly what the world expected him to be. In fact, Ryosuke could give him a lot of credit for his own ability to shift seamlessly from one persona to another. Yuri was the best teacher of skills that Ryosuke had not learned, growing up too fast, in a different world than he’d planned—as Yuri had intended to become what he was—it was never on Ryosuke’s radar, and then he just was an Idol.

He knew Yuri was the kindest person, despite the way he portrayed himself as a brat among the group—especially when it came to his relationship with Ryosuke—but he knew, from all the time they spent together before, during school and now even on their time off, when more often than not they chose to spend time with each other—Yuri was generous. He would give whatever he had to make someone happy. Ryosuke couldn’t count the times he’d given him the last bite of food, the extra pillow in the hotel rooms, the first turn to take a shower—so many different things, big and small.

_I love Yuri._

And, he was undeniably, unconsciously sexy. Yuri himself really had _no idea_ , even now he didn’t really comprehend it, Ryosuke was fully aware of this. Yuri catered to the world’s and maybe even Jump’s view of him, this child-like personality, the little brother character…but in their time together apart from that, Ryosuke had long seen the way Yuri carried himself, the confidence, the way his hips twisted just slightly when he stood comfortably. The way his lips set in a thin line, curled on the edges when he was watching a tv show he loved, the way he would use his hands to sweep his hair back when he got out of the shower.

The battle came to the forefront, as Ryosuke felt the war inside of himself because as he focused on Yuri sound asleep in his lap, suddenly, even that seemed sensual and erotic somehow. He couldn’t stop seeing him, his lips, so soft, so pouty, his cheeks that were smooth, and his hands, so strong, so beautiful…and then Ryosuke was done. And then, inside his mind, he pictured grabbing him, kissing him, his first kiss and the way he would feel under his hands, the way his chest would be firm, his arms full of strength—and would he sigh softly? Would he pull Ryosuke into him? What would that be like, what would it be like to feel him, under him, on him, touching him—what would it be like…Instantly, Ryosuke reached down to push off Yuri, needing him to move desperately, immediately before he became self-aware enough to realize what was happening.

Yuri sat up, rubbing his eyes, blurry and blinking and so fucking cute Ryosuke wanted to grab him and kiss the hell out of him…

“I have to go,” and with that Ryosuke bolted up out of his seat, scrambling down the aisle to the bathroom.

“Ryo?”

He felt the tap on his arm, “Ryo, did you hear me?”

Ryosuke’s eyes focused on Yuri, realizing he’d spoken, pulling him out of the memory, “What did you do that day? Were you sick?”

_Was I sick?_

He laughed, ducking his head down, his hands resting on the back of his head in embarrassment. He never lied to Yuri, in particular when he asked direct questions—a trait that Yuri had picked up on right away and rarely, if ever, beat around the bush because of it.

“I was _not sick_ ,” Ryosuke mumbled, his shoulders raising up as chills flushed his skin when Yuri’s hand scratched gently on his neck.

He turned his head, still leaning down, to look at Yuri, “I _had_ to go to the _bathroom_.”

Yuri tilted his head sideways, trying to understand, his eyes widening, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’ shape, as he remembered Ryosuke talking about that day being when things changed for them, between them, not in a big huge way, but was definitely the push forward, “ _That_ was the day….you saw _my folder_?”

“Yes.”

“And by saying ‘ _went to the bathroom’_ you mean…” Yuri gestured his hand in a fist, moving it up and down.

“Yes, Yuri, _that’s_ what I mean,” rolling his eyes and laughing at how Yuri could say some of the boldest, most borderline pornographic statements when they were intimate, but outside of that, he was still a thirteen-year-old boy.

Yuri smiled, pleased that he had that effect on Ryosuke even before he was ready to admit his feelings, tapping something on his phone before holding it out so that Ryosuke could read it, “I changed the name of that folder on the day of our Coming of Age Ceremony.”

Ryosuke, curious, reached forward to pull the phone closer, smiling broadly when he read the name of the folder now.

_Mine._

* * *

##  **Sunday, October 2 - Hiroshima Green Arena (Hiroshima)**

**START 16:00**

* * *

“What are we doing for dinner tonight?” Yuri asked as they turned and made their way to the waiting area, fingers entwined, their arms swinging as they walked.

“I’ll make you whatever you want,” Ryosuke answered quickly, looking to see what Yuri thought.

“Hmm, _anything_ I want,” Yuri mused, smiling softly as he turned his head to look at Ryosuke, “I have everything I need,” he squeezed Ryosuke’s hand, making sure he understood, “I am a man who wants _nothing_.”

Ryosuke stopped him from walking, taking his other hand in his own, smiling broadly, “The sentiment is not lost on me,” he punctuated this thought with a quick kiss to Yuri’s nose, “however, you are entirely too small to not eat, no matter how much you wax poetic.”

“Well,” Yuri twisted his mouth up, his eyes moving to look up at the ceiling, his expression rather comical, “if you’re going to put it like that, then how about you make me that shrimp stuff you made a few weeks ago?”

“You got it,” Ryosuke smiled, pulling him into a hug, squeezing him until he made a tiny squeaking sound, then releasing him, grabbing his shoulders and turning around to march him toward their spot.

“I’ll make dessert,” Yuri mused.

Ryosuke moved from behind him to step in front of him, causing Yuri to stop abruptly so as to not run him over, “What?!”

“I said, I’ll make dessert.”

“ _You’re_ going to make the dessert?”

“I am, I’ll make you your _favorite_!”

Ryosuke stared at him for a moment, wondering if he should call and up their coverage on their renter’s insurance, and trying to think about where the fire extinguisher was in relation to the stove, and especially considering how to ensure that Yuri didn’t actually set _himself_ on fire in the process of attempting to cook.

Yuri could tell exactly what he was thinking.

“Ryo-chan,” Yuri pouted, twisting his finger into the edge of Ryosuke’s hair, tugging on it gently, “You wound me, deeply.”

“I’m just saying…” he reached up, swatting Yuri’s hand away.

“And I just said I would make your _favorite dessert_!”

“Oh.”

“Ohhhhh!” Yuri mocked him.

Ryosuke grabbed his hand to pull him down the hallway, both boys laughing as he lifted Yuri’s hand to place a quick kiss on it, “You’re the _best_ at washing strawberries and filling bowls up with whipped cream, Ree, like, you are a world class strawberries with cream chef, and the fac—“

“Shut it, Yamada,” Yuri shoved him playfully, “You should count your blessings that I’m even doing _that much_.”

Ryosuke laughed, nodding his head, winking as he spoke, “Oh, believe me, I count every blessing when it comes to you, Chiisana.”

* * *

##  **Friday, October 7 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**START 18:00**

* * *

“Ryyyooooooooo,” Yuri whined, trailing along behind him like a puppy as they made their way to the waiting area, “Please tell me!”

“Not gonna happen!” Ryosuke tossed over his shoulder, irritated that his surprise had almost been ruined by Yuri seeing a text on his phone during the earlier breaks that a package had been delivered to the house after they’d left this morning.

“PPPPPllllleaaaaasssseee?” Yuri absolutely could not handle being kept out of the loop and surprises were the bane of his very existence.

It was the reason why Ryosuke never, ever gave away any hint at all that there was a surprise incoming or imminent—because there was nothing that boy wouldn’t do to find out what it was, nothing.

Ryosuke stopped, turning around to face Yuri before they went into the other space, “Chiisana, _please_ , can you just, this one time, just this time, _let me have this_?”

Yuri frowned, crossing his arms, not liking the sound of that, not at all, “I promise I will still be happy tonight? I don’t understand why it matters if I know or not, I just want to know.”

He knew he was being ridiculous, he knew that he shouldn’t press the issue, and yes, most certainly, Ryosuke should have the delight of surprising him every once in a while without having to go through hell and back to keep the secret.

_I really want to know though._

“But, Ryo-chan,” Yuri’s voice became soft, lulling, and what Ryosuke considered dangerous, holding up his hands in front of him as Yuri advanced toward him.

“I could give you something in return,” Yuri cooed, “Whatever you wanted, I would give you, all you have to do is tell me what the surprise is…so simple, then we’re both happy.”

Ryosuke’s hands landed on Yuri’s chest, holding him back as he attempted to step forward, glad that despite how strong Yuri was he was still stronger just for situations like this, “Not this time Ree, you keep your mouth far from me.”

Yuri laughed, doubling his efforts to get past Ryosuke’s hands, “I’ll make it worth it, Ryo, you know I would.”

“I have no doubt,” Ryosuke admitted, “But this time, I’m keeping my secret, you might as well accept it.”

Yuri stood up straight, staring at Ryosuke, trying to measure his resolve, frowning when he realized he was dead set on this decision, throwing his hands up, “Really?”

Ryosuke nodded, “Really.”

“Fine,” Yuri stormed past him, stomping into the room where the other two 7 members were waiting, standing behind Keito to wait for the cue.

Ryosuke wasn’t fazed, he just walked to stand behind Yuri, knowing that he would be just fine, despite his theatrics. It was like he could count down the time in his head. _Five, four, three, two, one—and turn!_ Exactly forty-five seconds passed before Yuri spun on his heels, his hands folded as if in prayer, his eyes sad, and his mouth in full pout mode, whining, “Don’t you _want me to be happy_?”

“Oh, GOD!” Yuto exclaimed, exasperated, yet humorous because he actually really enjoyed the stupidly cute antics that Ryosuke and Yuri were always up to, “What is it NOW?”

He turned around, staring at the two of them, shaking his head, then when he made eye contact with Ryosuke, who gave him a knowing look, his eyes widened, “Oh, that!?”

Ryosuke nodded, Yuri turning his head to look at Yuto, and then back to Ryosuke, “Wait! Wait! Yuto knows and I don’t?”

“I know, too,” Keito called out, not even turning around to look at the three of them. Yuri’s mouth dropping open as he stared daggers into the back of his head before he turned to glare at Ryosuke, “And KEITO knows!?”

“Yep,” Ryosuke smiled, because he only had to get through about thirty more seconds and then it would be too late for Yuri to do anything.

“Fine,” Yuri pouted, “but I won’t be happy no matter what when I open it, and you’ll for sure pay for this, I don’t know when or how, but you’re going to pay, Yamada.”

“I’m _sure_ I will,” Ryosuke laughed lightly, shaking his head as Yuri turned back around so Ryosuke couldn’t see his face.

Ryosuke couldn’t wait to get home, as much as Yuri was making a show of his plan to not be excited, Ryosuke knew him better, and was fully aware he wasn’t going to be able to contain his excitement when he opened the gift.

Yep, he could carry on about how he won’t be happy, but when he opened the prototype cell phone that Ryosuke had secured, the one that has not actually been released, the one that can take pictures like a professional camera, the one that can do some of the most insane things that no phone should be able to, the one that is nearly indestructible because it was designed to go into space, the one that Yuri had nearly orgasmed over just by seeing a picture of it in Scientific Magazine, that phone?

Yeah, Ryosuke wasn’t _nearly_ worried about Yuri wanting to punish him, rather he looked forward to seeing Yuri’s face, because he was going to LOVE this surprise and he loved to make Yuri happy.

_I can’t wait!_

* * *

##  **Saturday, October 8 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

“Did you see that sign?” Yuri asked as they neared the holding area, trying to make the question sound casual, unimportant, “The one about me?”

“What sign? Ryosuke asked, glancing to the side to study Yuri’s expression.

“That’s a no then,” Yuri mumbled, picking up his pace so that they entered the room before Ryosuke could question him any further.

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

Yuri saw the sign again, clearly the girl holding it was at both shows today. He’d just swiped the towel across his forehead, dropping it and gasping when Ryosuke came flying out of the tunnel with a look of anger, throwing his coat sideways as he grabbed him by the hips, finding himself pressed up against the wall, Ryosuke’s body grinding into his own, as his lips landed on his neck, fervently pressing kisses and nibbles there, as his mouth moved sensually, slowly up to his ear.

“Ryo-chan…wha..what are yo—“

“That sign is a fucking lie,” Ryosuke whispered in his ear, sucking lightly on the tender skin just below before he lifted his head again to speak, “You’re _perfect_ , Chiisana.”

Yuri realized what he was talking about, his hands moving to pull Ryosuke’s head up so he could see his face when he spoke, his expression soft with adoration, “I don’t care what the sign says, all I need is how you see me.”

“You’re fucking perfect,” Ryosuke demanded, his eyes full of fire, as if he wanted to brand the words onto Yuri’s skin, “Do you hear me, _absolutely perfect_.”

* * *

##  **Sunday, October 9 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

“I don’t know if I can do this!” Yuri shook his head as they entered the waiting area, wringing his hands nervously.

Ryosuke immediately turned around to face him, using his hands and feet to shuffle and corral him back into the hallway, away from prying eyes, his hands resting on Yuri’s hips, gently squeezing them, “You can do _anything_ , don’t lose your nerve!”

“…but my _MOM_ is out there!” the word Mom seemed more like a curse word the way it was said, and Yuri’s eyes were wide, feeling like there was an earthquake inside of him because of how much his limbs were trembling.

“Yuri,” Ryosuke smiled, trying to temper the words he was going to say with some kind of emotion that would convey that they were meant in a more _loving_ than provocative way, despite the actual words he was using, “Your mother knows we _live_ together, I’m pretty sure she knows you’re a grown man who has grown up needs and desires,” he smirked then, his voice taking on a teasing tone, mock whispering loudly, “and I am also pretty damn sure she’s fully aware that we actually have sex, _a lot of it_. Which is honestly why she _never_ drops by unannounced.”

“Ryosuke?” Yuri was staring blankly at Ryosuke, who hummed softly, lifting his eyebrows in question, “Don’t ever use the word sex in the same sentence with _my Mom_.”

Ryosuke thought about it for a second, then nodded, smiling, shuffling Yuri around the corner and toward the exit, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, “Noted, now get your pretty ass out there and show your Mom why I love to _fuck_ you so much.”

“Damn it, Ryo!”

Ryosuke entered the stage for “Party Monster” _before_ Yuri that day, laughing hysterically as he waved to Yuri’s Mom and sister who were seated on the front row.

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

Ryosuke already knew before he rounded the corner that Yuri was going to basically kick his ass for the way he’d behaved earlier in the day during most of the show after ‘Party Monster’, specifically because he was teasing him in front of his Mom and sister, who truthfully, absolutely loved Ryosuke.

So, when Yuri was scowling, arms crossed as he leaned on the wall waiting for Ryosuke to appear, all he could do is laugh.

“Oh, don’t you laugh, Yamada,” Yuri fumed, “Let me read to the texts that were waiting for me from my sister…” he pulled up his phone hitting buttons, “she said, ‘you two need to get a room, do these people not realize you two are a couple? 2 hot!’ and then twenty minutes later she wrote, ‘I’m embarrassed that I’m sitting next to my Mom shipping you and Yamada, and then I realize she’s your mother too, and you’re my damn brother—gross!’…”

Ryosuke just laughed, because it was funny as hell and he wasn’t the least bit ashamed.

“Oh, don’t be too happy,” Yuri mumbled hitting more buttons, then lifting his phone to show Ryosuke a picture—one of him and Yuri playing up fanservice, a little more than usual thanks to Ryosuke torturing him, “MY MOTHER SENT ME THAT, along with a damn video of you that was captioned, ‘Yama-chan knows how to move those hips!’”

“Smart woman,” Ryosuke laughed, turning to walk down the hallway, leaving Yuri standing there with his mouth open.

He stepped after Ryosuke, his voice a hiss, “ _You like that_!”

Ryosuke spun on around to face him, grabbing him, catching Yuri off guard as he tipped him back onto his arm, holding him like a groom holds the bride in wedding pictures, kissing the spot under his chin quickly, one of Yuri’s feet up in the air as he cried out, Ryosuke waiting for him to calm down before he spoke, “Yuri, it’s high time you realize I like anything, _everything_ that has to do with you—in particular, I _like_ your family _enjoying_ our relationship. I _spent years_ lamenting the idea that I could create a wedge between all of you if they didn’t approve of me—so while you’re embarrassed by those texts— _I am euphoric_. They accept _me_ , they accept _us_ , and they celebrate us. It makes me _ecstatic_.”

Yuri blinked, the frustration from before melting away as he realized why Ryosuke was the way he was about this, that it was because of all the years he’d been so afraid, so worried about what could potentially happen, dropping his thankfully indestructible phone as his hands lifted to grasp around Ryosuke’s neck, pulling his head down so he could kiss him lightly, “I love you.”

Yuri’s smile made Ryosuke’s knees weak, and in return smiled the kittenish one Yuri adored, “I love you, too, Chiisana.”

* * *

##  **Monday, October 10 - Yokohama Arena (Kanagawa)**

**[First] START 12:30**

* * *

“Hey?” Ryosuke reached over, taking Yuri’s hand as they met at the end of their respective hallways, turning to walk toward the waiting area.

“Hmm?” Yuri looked at him curiously.

“Thank you,” Ryosuke smiled, his dimples showing in the flashing lights from overhead, squeezing Yuri’s hand gently as he turned to look back down the hallway.

“For…what?” Yuri asked, not sure what was happening or why.

“For loving me,” Ryosuke looked down at his feet, stopping, his hand stilling and Yuri jerking backwards as he hadn’t realized he’d stopped. He turned to face Ryosuke, bending a bit to try to look up into his face.

“You’re the _easiest_ part of my life,” Yuri shuffled forward, Ryosuke’s down-turned head landing on his shoulder as he hugged him, “Honestly, there’s no effort at all, Ryosuke.”

“I’m a big baby, needy, clingy, and then in the next minute I’m moody, stubborn, antisocial, and mostly a complete pain the ass, it’s fine, I admit it,” Ryosuke murmured, turning his head to the side as he pressed his face into Yuri’s neck, inhaling the scent of him, his body shuddering from held back tears, the overwhelming feeling like he could cry from how strongly he felt everything in the moment.

“You’re not, but I’m not going to argue with you, we don’t have time,” Yuri’s hands ran down Ryosuke’s back, holding him tightly, as he realized the cue was maybe a minute away, “But tonight I’m running you a hot bath, and you’re wearing those soft fluffy pajama pants, and I’m going to _take care of you_. You’re overly emotional because _you’re exhausted_.”

Ryosuke hummed, hesitantly agreeing that it was probably the truth, and his mind already filtering the images of melting soap petals that Yuri would put in the bath, the taste of the strawberry champagne, and the feel of his hands as they carefully, lovingly washed him—the contentment he would feel as he fell asleep in his lover’s arms, no need to set an alarm, no need to do anything at all the next day as their schedules were completely clear.

“Thank you,” Ryosuke whispered, squeezing him tightly as he prepared to release him so they could make it to the stage for the cue, “for _everything._ ”

* * *

**[Second] START 17:00**

* * *

Ryosuke was in no better shape emotionally by the time he’d come around the corner, glad to see Yuri waiting for him.

“C’mere,” Yuri whispered, opening his arms, and smiling when Ryosuke immediately dove into them, just letting him hug him while his own arms hung limply at his sides. Yuri traced his hands up and down his back, his voice soft in Ryosuke’s ear, “Focus on all the happy things, okay, just for the next hour and a half, and then we’re going home, and I’ll take good care of you.”

He felt Ryosuke take a shuddering breath, realizing that he was crying when he turned his head to wipe his eyes and sniff. Yuri just kept talking to him, softly, gently, “I left during break while you were doing your interview, and went to the market two streets over—I bought some of those cakes that you love and I also got a basket full of the strawberries from the farmer you adore. I know how much you love the ones that are heart shaped, so I took my time finding _just the right ones_.”

“I also found some lavender flakes for the bath—they are shaped like flowers, and when they melt little tiny purple flowers from the lavender plant float on top of the water. I thought you would smile when you saw them.”

“I also found a pair of fuzzy slippers for you, they are shaped like puppies and when you walk in them, they bark like a dog, I couldn’t pass them up,” Yuri’s hand pressed into Ryosuke’s back, the other cupping the back of his head, holding him as his body shook softly, “I got some rose oil, and I am going to rub your feet the way you like, and they had this shampoo that is from the Netherlands, it’s got strawberries in it, like chunks of berries, and it smelled like dessert—I’ll wash your hair, and we’ll go to bed, and I’ll turn on Gilmore Girls and we’ll watch it while I play with your hair until you fall asleep.”

“Mmmm,” Ryosuke murmured softly his approval, his arms moving up to rest on Yuri’s hips, “Sounds nice.”

“It will be,” Yuri smiled, kissing Ryosuke’s head lightly, pulling back to kiss his forehead and then his temple and when he lifted his face, a tiny smile appearing, he kissed his cheeks wet with tears, his nose, and then a whisper soft kiss on his mouth before he pulled back.  His hands moving to wipe away the remaining tears, cupping his face in his hands, as he stared into his eyes, “I’ll always take care of you, I promise.”

Ryosuke nodded, looking very small and childlike to Yuri in that moment, none of the Idol appearing anywhere in him, just ‘ _his_ ’ Ryosuke, “Always, Chiisana, you promise?”

“I promise _always and forever_ ,” Yuri answered, pressing their foreheads together, smiling contentedly.

Ryosuke drew in a shuddering breath, nodding, “I promise, too.”

* * *

##  **Wednesday, November 2 - Nippon Gaishi Hall (Aichi)**

**START 18:00**

* * *

The entire show had been rearranged, and the two boys found themselves with a rare expanse of nearly twenty extra minutes than normal that they would not be on stage during this particular show. There were some special Johnny’s guests and they were doing something or another onstage and two songs had been shuffled creating an unusual break for 7.

They didn’t particularly care where the other two 7 members were, since they had a plan, Ryosuke had snuck through the hallways, careful to not be seen as he ducked into the small closet he knew no one else would ever even notice, let alone seek out.

It was pitch black dark and he didn’t release the doorknob with the thought that he might need to open the door to let some light in so he could see if he was even in the right place. His questions were answered when he felt soft lips press onto his bare chest, he dropped the gold jacket to the floor with one hand, releasing the doorknob from the other hand.

“Yuri,” Ryosuke breathed out, his heart suddenly beating wildly in his chest at the attention he was paying to his skin, his hands moving across the smooth planes, his mouth nipping and sucking lightly. He lifted his hands, still blinded as his eyes hadn’t adjusted although Yuri’s clearly had, reaching up to feel for him, his hands finding his bare back, and caressing slowly up and down for a moment.

He’d thought they might take a sort of pseudo nap or something, but clearly Yuri had other things in mind.

_That’s fine, too._

Ryosuke groaned softly, Yuri’s mouth sucking gently on the skin at his collar bone, slowly moving up his neck, then grasped at Yuri’s arms, as he could finally begin to make out the space inside the room he shuffled his feet against Yuri’s to force him backward until he hit the wall. Ryosuke pressed forward still, his body pushing against Yuri’s as his mouth descended on his, his lips and tongue burning a fiery trail from his mouth to his neck to his ear as he reciprocated the attention Yuri’d given to him.

There was something undeniably erotic about the entire situation, a closet built in one of the tunnels small, hidden, yet, in full sight at the same time to anyone who walked down that hallway, small cracks allowing the faintest hint of light to filter through, they were literally surrounded by thousands of people, yet they were completely alone.

Ryosuke moaned when Yuri’s hands moved down his back, palming his backside as he pulled him forward, his hips rolling of their own accord as he dropped his head onto Yuri’s shoulder.

“Ree,” Ryosuke mumbled, and within seconds they were flipped around, Yuri somehow manhandling Ryosuke to turn him and now his back was pressed up against the wall, Yuri’s mouth wild with need as he sucked on his neck, his hands fluttering across Ryosuke’s stomach, fingers near the edge of his boxers that sat above his belt line.

Just as quickly as before, Ryosuke turned the tables and had Yuri pressed back up against the wall, one leg between his legs, his hips pressed into him feeling the hard length of his arousal as he pushed forward, rolling his hips against him to let him know he felt the same, as he whispered in his ear, “I want you so bad.” His hands moving down the smooth planes of Yuri’s stomach to grasp his hips, then one hand shifting forward.

Yuri’s hand snapped to grab Ryosuke’s wrist, “This is a bad idea.”

“Just think about it, Ree,” Ryosuke’s voice was a purr, soft and silky, his warm breath whisping across Yuri’s skin as he spoke, slow kisses trailing down his neck to his collar bone, each word slow, sensual, meant to tease and torture him, “There are fans on the other side of this wall,” his free hand reached beside Yuri’s head and knocked on the wall, “Right _there_. I could make you _scream_ and they wouldn’t even know they were hearing their beloved Ido—“

“Shut the fuck up and do it then,” Yuri hissed, his normally quiet and reserved demeanor lost to the need he was feeling and the unconscious timer that was constantly running, causing Ryosuke to smile wickedly before his hands were frantic on Yuri’s belt, nimble, practiced fingers quickly releasing the belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans in the same fluid motion that he fell to his knees, his hands drawing down the pants and boxers in a single motion, not even pausing before he drew his tongue slowly up the length of Yuri’s arousal.

“Fuck,” Yuri hissed, everything feeling like it was on fire around him as the crowd roared just beyond the thin wall, the groups on stage still singing and dancing and doing their job.

Yuri’s hips bucked against his will when one of Ryosuke’s hands wrapped around him, moving, sliding, tortuously slow as Ryosuke waited for Yuri to look down at him. Aware that Ryosuke wouldn’t really start his performance until he had a rapt audience, Yuri tried to focus, leaning his chin down on his chest so he could make out Ryosuke in the dark. When their eyes met, Ryosuke smiled, whispering softly, “I love you,” before his mouth opened and his tongue rolled around the tip before he drew it into his mouth, his lips sliding around the smooth head as his tongue swirled, heightening the sensation, worshiping him.

Yuri’s head banged against the wall despite his best efforts to keep his eyes on what was happening, the wall shaking from the sounds beyond it, and his hands slapped against the wall, nails digging, scratching, but there was nothing to grab onto.  He didn’t care how loud the moan was, since he couldn’t have tempered it if he’d tried, when Ryosuke pressed forward, slowly taking his length further and further in, until the entirety was covered with either his hand or his mouth.

Yuri strained to bend his head down, his focus landing on Ryosuke’s hair, then his eyes which were closed in pleasure, his mouth tasting, sucking but not moving yet, teasingly lapping, before he hummed in contentment—and then Yuri couldn’t possibly look away, as nothing he’d ever seen looked as good as Ryosuke on his knees inside this closet surrounded by fifty-thousand people, his beautiful mouth wrapped around his cock, “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, Ryosuke hummed in contentment at the words, his eyes fluttering open, looking up at Yuri, groaning when he make eye contact, as his own desires were directly tied to Yuri’s.

His hand moved into Ryosuke’s hair, tangling his fingers into it, gently pulling on it because if he didn’t move just the sight alone was going to make him come. Ryosuke’s eyes narrowed tenderly, understanding, as he began to bob his head, slowly at first, his mouth creating so many sensations that were drawing a tightness from deep inside Yuri forward. He spread his legs further apart, leaning more of his weight onto his shoulders, tilting his pelvis and hissing when the movement allowed Ryosuke to take him in even further.

He didn’t miss the whine, his eyes shifting to see him again, the struggle he could sense in Ryosuke, his legs shifting subtly, a tiny sound escaping, one that he would have missed if he didn’t know him so well, and Yuri understood. Ryosuke would never put his own needs before Yuri’s—he never had—and he wished often he could tell people that—because it seemed to him that the world pictured Ryosuke to be a very demanding and selfish lover—but rather, the simple truth was he was the opposite, in fact, he was the most generous, self-sacrificing lover he could even imagine.

No, Ryosuke would deny himself any pleasure beyond that he received through the way he would enjoy Yuri’s.

“Ryosuke, touch yourself,” he spoke in a pant, voice shaking, loosening his grip on Ryosuke’s hair to gently stroke his face in approval when the hand that had been resting on Yuri’s hip, moved frantically to unbuckle his belt, undo his jeans and to pull his boxers down enough to release his aching cock, his eyes panicked in the moment between when his mouth had come off of Yuri, whimpering at the nearly overwhelming need as he wrapped his hand around himself, his entire body alight with sensations, nearly able to come just by a single touch.

His eyes looked up to Yuri, full of longing and desperation, as his mouth slid back down onto him, his own hand moving to the rhythm he was setting, his pace picking up as he hummed in relief, the vibrating sensation of the deep noise causing even more pleasure for Yuri.

“R-ryo—fuck!” Yuri cried out, jerking his hand out of Ryosuke’s hair in fear that he was going to rip it out as Ryosuke suddenly took in his entire length, his hand reaching up to grab around Yuri, pulling him further off the wall, his mouth coming to rest on his pelvis, and he swallowed, once, then twice, and Yuri’s hands hit the wall, his fists moving to his hair as he cried out, his body curling in, convulsing, as he felt the first pulse of release.

Ryosuke hungrily drank deeply, allowing Yuri the freedom to move his hips, and for his own part Yuri couldn’t stop himself, lost as the world shattered around him. He rocked his hips, pushing his body forward, not knowing when exactly his hands had found their way into Ryosuke’s hair. Only aware that he was holding Ryosuke’s head there against him, his cock deep down his throat, as he fucked his mouth without slowing, he knew he was loud, the noises echoing in his own head as each wave of pleasure was more intense than the last, but he couldn’t be bothered to care.

Ryosuke’s eyes hadn’t left Yuri’s face, his hand still wrapped around his own flesh, and Yuri let go of his head once the pleasure had abated and as he came back to his senses, pulling his hips back so that Ryosuke would release him, panting as he smiled, dropping to his knees so that his mouth could find Ryosuke’s seeking one, his lips moving with purpose, his tongue tasting himself as he tried to express some fraction of his love for Ryosuke.

His hand reached down, pulling at Ryosuke’s wrist to the hand that was pleasuring himself, causing him to whine, protesting, but Yuri pulled back from him, away from his lips which were still trying to find him in his dazed state, his voice firm so as to reach him through the haze of need, commanding, “Let go, Ryosuke!”

Ryosuke’s hand opened, his fingers wide as if he were controlling himself from taking it right back in his hand instantly, his voice pained, gasping, sobbing, “Y-yurri…p-please.”

“I’ve got you,” Yuri whispered, glad when Ryosuke seemed to understand, his body shifting to lean back, extending his torso to give him room, as Yuri’s hand grasped him firmly, not bothering to go slowly, as they neither had the time, or in all probability, Ryosuke certainly wouldn’t have the patience for a slow build. Instead, Yuri stroked him with the kind of pressure he knew Ryosuke enjoyed, working him hard, twisting at the head, then back down again, his other hand moving to fondle and squeeze him, encouraging him with his words, “It’s okay, you can let go, I’m here, I’ve got you now.”

“Ree, fuck!” Ryosuke cried out, and Yuri found himself amused, because he knew it was both a question and a complaint, and truthfully a compliment, but he didn’t slow down, instead he just renewed his efforts, keeping the same pace as Ryosuke’s hips began to thrust forward in response, “Ree, I-I’m gonna c—“ and within seconds Ryosuke’s hands entwined in Yuri’s hair, his gasps and cries punctuating the flow of hot liquid that Yuri swallowed down, having realized almost too late that they didn’t have anything there to clean themselves up with—so he’d bent over Ryosuke as he realized was nearing completion, taking him into his mouth as he came. He continued to suck and stroke him until his body stopped pulsing, Ryosuke curled over top of him as he tried to catch his breath.

Ryosuke finally pulled himself up, listening to the sounds outside, and smiling when Yuri leaned up to kiss him softly before asking, “How much time?”

“Seven minutes to spare,” Ryosuke mused, trying to catch his breath, pressing forward to kiss Yuri’s forehead before he reached down to help him fix his pants and the series of belts that held all of his electronics for mics and earplugs.

They’d managed to compose themselves in record time, quickly moving through the hallways to enter the waiting area, actually arriving before Keito and Yuto.

Ryosuke took the moment to center himself, pulling Yuri into a hug, resting his head against his, humming softly.

“Love you, Ryo,” Yuri whispered, squeezing him harder.

“Love you more, Chiisana.”

 “ _Impossible_.”

They would have to finish the argument about who loved the other the most later or they’d be late to cue.

* * *

##  **Thursday, November 3 - Nippon Gaishi Hall (Aichi)**

**[First] START 13:30**

* * *

Yuri had finished changing and rushed down the tunnel toward where he normally met Ryosuke, reaching up to fix his mic, filled with mixed feelings as he considered the fact that today was their last show, when he nearly ran into Ryosuke, both of them turning to walk down the hallway to the waiting area.

"Ryo, can you fix my cord to my earpiece?" Yuri stopped just as they were about to enter the room with the other 7 members--the faint lights from above them casting strange shadows around the area.

"Yep!" Ryosuke moved up behind Yuri, seeing where the cord had caught on the edge of his jacket, carefully pulling it lose and making sure it tucked down beside his neck.

He smiled when he felt Yuri shiver from his touch, the grin spreading as he reached down to his hips, grabbing the loops on his jeans and pulling them gently back and forth as he pulled down on them.

Yuri huffed, his hands going to cover Ryosuke's, attempting to still them, "Stop that!" his voice was a hiss, but only caused Ryosuke to pull even harder on the loops.

Yuri's hips wiggled back and forth against his will from the force of the push and pull of Ryosuke's hands, sighing in annoyance as he tried to step backwards, finding Ryosuke nothing short of a brick wall as he had foreseen this attempt to stop him and stepped forward in advance.

"You pull your jeans up too high, Yuri," Ryosuke breathed softly into his ear, humming when he felt Yuri press back into him, "It’s the _last day_ , just give the fans what they want."

Yuri sighed, no longer resisting as Ryosuke finally had the jeans pulled down onto his hips, feeling foreign and strange not resting where he preferred them.

He sucked in a breath when Ryosuke's hand slid around his waist, his fingers running softly across the exposed skin, tracing one of the lines of his hip bone. His skin was sensitive, his abdomen tightening reflexively as his fingers moved along the edge of where the jeans now rest—dipping slowly, sensually down under the band of his boxers that were riding above the top of the jeans now--causing Yuri to inhale sharply, one of his hands jerking forward to rest on Ryosuke's wrist.

As the muscles hardened, Rysouke flattened his hand, pressing it into Yuri's abdomen, pulling him backward until his body rest perfectly against his own, his mouth tickling his ear as he whispered, "Better yet, give _me_ what _I_ want."

Suddenly, both of Ryosuke's hands were resting firmly on Yuri's hips, holding them tightly as he rolled his own hips against him, laughing lightly when Yuri groaned, slapping away his hands and moving forward the few steps to enter into the area where the others were waiting.

Ryosuke was still laughing as he listened to see how much time they had...probably only about thirty more seconds, he lifted his eyebrows as if to say "What!?" when Yuto narrowed his eyes at him, then shook his head before he leveled a knowing look at him, laughing lightly.

He shrugged, not really caring how close they had cut it, it was worth it to unnerve Yuri which was one of his favorite things these days.

Fifteen seconds.

He could feel the thrill as the adrenaline began to flow through his veins, he started to bounce on the balls of his feet, shifting his weight from one leg to the other as the anticipation grew.

Ten seconds.

Keito stepped to the edge of the door, with Yuto directly behind him, Yuri was in front of Ryosuke, undoubtedly going through his quiet "I can do this" moments before this song as it STILL wasn't one of his favorites. It didn't seem to matter to him how many different ways that Ryosuke had told him how unbelievably and undeniably sexy he was (which rounded up to about 124 at this point)--that was Ryosuke's job. Period.

Five seconds.

Keito began walking through the doorway, followed quickly by Yuto. The moment he'd stepped through the dark opening Yuri had turned around, stepping straight up and into Ryosuke, who threw his arms up, startled by the quick movement, blinking rapidly.

Before he could understand what was happening, Yuri's mouth was on his, biting softly at his bottom lip. Yuri's tongue warm and spicy from the tea he tended to drink between sets, a quick but passionate kiss that promised much more than it should, and then the softness of his lips moving quickly to the side of Ryosuke's face as his tongue traced a path from his jaw to his ear, where he sucked lightly on his earlobe. Rysouke's body broke out in chills, his hands coming down, one of them threading quickly into Yuri's hair pulling him closer.

Yuri's hands moved smoothly across Ryosuke's abdomen, his fingers tickling the delicate skin there, as they swept across his waist, reaching around him to pull him harshly forward into him. His mouth released Ryosuke's ear as his voice held a sing-song quality full of mischief, whispering so that his lips barely touched the shell of his ear, "I'll give you _exactly_ what you want, _you just wait_ , Ryosuke."

And as quickly as it had happened, as if it were something that he had imagined or dreamed, Yuri was gone out the dark exit. Ryosuke's mouth opened and closed, unable to move or react, as Yuri had just one-upped his game in a deeply profound way--a new and exciting way--decidedly unexpected way--shocking Ryosuke so much that for the first time, he was fifteen seconds late for a cue.

There'd be hell to pay for that from the members...no doubt about it.

* * *

**[Second] START 18:00**

* * *

The concert had gone smoothly, the group was both extremely excited and also sad to think it was their last official concert for this tour. They’d put together a few special segments through this particular show, as a fan appreciation kind of event.

Throughout the evening they would appear inside specially designed ‘hot air balloons’ with a large basket on the bottom for each of them to sit or stand in—allowing them to relax for a few minutes to gain their strength while staff went through the audience to take questions for the idols to answer. They’d randomly drawn numbers, with Ryosuke ending up being grouped with Yuto and Daiki. He was assigned the center balloon which would hang above the stage, moving outward from the center curtain and suspending higher than the other two. They were built with a paneling around the base of it which hid the drinks and the costumes they would change into when the lights went off.

The panels were lit up with LED lights that the staff would control and put different symbols and words on them throughout the Q&A. Inside there was a stool in case they wanted to sit, a box with their costumes, and a crate that had towels, ice cold water bottles, and tissues. The sides were made high to ensure their safety, which meant it came up quite a bit higher on Ryosuke because of his height—they’d actually had the audacity to ask him if he wanted a platform put in his so he ‘could see over the top’.

_Idiots._

Ryosuke had looked for Yuri during the few minutes he had before it was time for his turn, but didn’t see him anywhere. He climbed the steps to the platform that led to the balloon carefully, to prevent tripping, as he was still in the ‘Dear’ costume—which had been sung out of order and in a different configuration than the normal concerts—the pink coat covering him from head to toe. He waited in the wing, listening to what was being said before his name was announced, stepping out from the curtain, waving as he opened the door to and stepped inside the cart, locking the door then shuffling his feet as it felt like someone had put the costume box right in the middle of the basket.

The spotlight was so hot, bearing down on him at a bad angle because of the way the balloon was situated, and he was thankful that Yuri had talked him into just wearing underwear with the coat—which honestly, was entirely too heavy despite him having asked the staff multiple times if they couldn’t come up with a thinner material. As it was, they normally had on a full set of clothing under it, but the change up in set and locations meant that Ryosuke would be in one of the mock balconies up top and not moving, which meant he didn’t need to put anything on, and when he finished the Q&A he’d be putting on the clothes for his next song ‘Party Monster’ waiting for him in the box.

He was glad that Yuri had suggested it, at first, he was leery because wardrobe malfunctions happen, but Yuri had pointed out that if the worst thing that could happen was the audience seeing a peek of his boxers that wasn’t anything too scandalous. For the sake of comfort, he’d agreed, and was relieved he did because there was nothing that could make this coat, which mostly felt like he was wearing drapes, any more comfortable.

He grasped the edge of the cart as it began moving forward, the spotlight already much better than it had been at the small change in position, having the faint light from the backdrops to make the glare from the spotlights less severe. Once the other two members were announced, the balloon began to lift higher into the arena rather quickly. His fingers were white on the edge, but otherwise he’d learned to control his innate fear of heights.

That said, when he felt something touch his leg, he jumped backward, a yelp coming out of his mouth as he looked down into the floor of the cart to see Yuri covering his mouth, laughing, and trying to signal for him to act normal and not say anything.

“You okay, Yama-chan?” Daiki asked from below him, his eyes landing on one of the screens across the venue that showed the cameras were focused on him wide eyed, causing everyone to laugh.

Ryosuke couldn’t school his expression, he looked around realizing that there was no way anyone else would know that Yuri was in the cart with him. It didn’t explain what he was _actually doing_ in the balloon with him, but it did give him the ability to take a deep breath before he spoke.

“Oh, you know me…” he made a show of holding on tightly to the edges of the cart, “just a little nervous about heights! Which naturally means I would be assigned the one that goes up highest!”

_It’s totally true, damn staff thinking they’re so funny._

They all laughed and he was thankful that Hikaru was on stage as the MC as he began the Q&A with some guidelines and rules.

While he was doing this, Ryosuke glanced down to see Yuri sitting crosslegged, his back up against the front of the cart, smiling up at him. Ryosuke reached up behind his head so he could switch off his mic, clicking the button and then without looking down, speaking, “What the hell are you doing in here?”

“Keeping my promise,” Yuri’s voice was firm, an edge to it that caused Ryosuke to glance down at him, wide eyed, and confused, then very concerned when he saw the glint of mischief shining from Yuri’s eyes.

“What do you think, Yama-chan?”

He jerked when he heard his name over the speakers, quickly switching his mic back on and laughing, “I’m sorry guys, I’m really out of sorts! Can you repeat the question please?”

Hikaru mockingly put his hands on his hips and made a big show of frowning to indicate that he was mad at Ryosuke which caused the audience to laugh, then said, “Pay attention this time, the question is whether we will be doing a special song for our tenth anniversary?”

Ryosuke hummed, nodding his head, “Well, I think it’s entirely possible we wi—“ his word was cut off with a squeal, when he felt Yuri’s hand on his leg, reaching under the robe, and slowly tickling his calf, he cleared his throat, “—so sorry, sorry, this thing isn’t stable this afternoon!”

He shook the cart like it was scary, giving them his best Idol smile, “…but I’ll endure it for you, lovely fans!”

The crowd all said “ahhh” and “oohhh” and then he continued, “It’s certainly possible,” he tried to slap away Yuri’s hands as they moved higher up on his thigh, but the coat hindered him, “we would do a special release,” as soon as he said the word Yuri’s hand moved across the front of his underwear, slowly, teasingly, causing Ryosuke’s voice to go higher, the friction causing a rush of excited desire to flood his body, his skin tingling with goosebumps, despite his brain completely freaking out, “a—a release—but we haven’t been given an-y-y information on it.”

The last words were rushed out, his hand already on the switch on his mic turning it off instantly, as he bent down like he was getting a water bottle, his face inches from Yuri’s as he hissed, “Damn it, Chinen, stop fucking around, I’m working here!”

If the words had any effect what so ever on Yuri it was impossible to tell, because he still had some kind of devious, self-satisfied smile on his face as he held up the water bottle for Ryosuke, whispering, “Go do your damn job, Yamada, I’m _working_ here!”

Ryosuke stared at him, trying to read him and then everything clicked, the way he’d brought up the change in the sets and how he could just wear boxers under the coat, even the fact that despite thinking he’d packed his normal boxers, when he’d gotten dressed at the venue the ones in his bag were a pair of the underwear that Yuri had bought them that he’d been harassing him to try.

Ryosuke had been reluctant, as he was a man of comfort and frankly if he found something he liked, he didn’t want to change it.

That said, he was in no position to argue since he couldn’t go on stage commando, so he’d used the underwear, some kind of special style, which was fine, the advertisement on the package was right when it said that it made access far easier than the normal style of underwear—which was good, especially in their line of work and lack of time for breaks, and in all truth, the fabric was so thin and soft, sleek and comfortable, he might be willing to give up his boxers for something like this,

Of course, the fact that he was wearing the ‘easy access’ underwear while he had on a coat while wearing nothing else but those underwear with his boyfriend at his feet in a cart an ungodly number of feet up in the air was NOT lost on Ryosuke.

“You…y-you…damn….fuck…” Ryosuke was beyond words, sputtering in anger, and nearly fell backward when he stood up too quickly as someone said his name again. He switched the mic on, thankful he’d heard the end of the question so he wouldn’t look quite so stupid again.

“I agree with Dai-chan,” he set his mind to say as few words as possible, “one of our favorite parts of new releases is the chance to film a—“ his hand that wasn’t holding the water slammed down on the edge of the cart, clenching to it as hard as he could to mostly stop himself from reaching down and smacking Yuri upside the damn head when both of his hands traveled up his legs, lightly tracing his fingernails on the surface of his already sensitive skin, causing a chill to move up through his body, a shudder shaking him as he finished the thought, “PV for the songs we’ve made for you!”

He kicked his foot forward, not necessarily wanting to hurt Yuri, but needing him to stop what he was doing. He was thankful when the next question was some technical question about drums that Yuto would answer and likely take a while to answer, so he clicked off his mic, still looking out to the crowd as he tried to speak without moving his mouth too much, “Stop it!”

He tried to shift backward but was stopped when one of Yuri’s hands grabbed his ankle, the other one slowly moving further upward, “I mean it, Yuri, knock it off!”

“I told you that I’d _give you what you wanted_ , didn’t I?”

Ryosuke’s eyes snapped down to Yuri’s, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Earlier I told you,” Yuri smiled, a vision of adoration and love, “I’ve been planning this for a while, I know this is a fantasy of yours,” Yuri whispered, his eyes wide and pleading, “ _Let me give this to you_.”

“I-I—what the…n-no Chiisana, please, _this isn’t like that_ ,” Ryosuke spoke earnestly, glad that Yuto was exceptionally long winded today, “I don’t—“

“It’s _exactly_ like that, and _I_ can give it to you,” Yuri whispered, his heart so open, so honest, his hands moving up and down Ryosuke’s legs slowly, “Let me, _please_?”

Ryosuke looked around the arena, fifty-thousand people all paying attention to the four idols in the spotlight, and Yuri was there to what? Fulfill some fantasy of his?

“No.”

He glanced back down, and if he was worried before he was suddenly terrified as he watched the expression on Yuri’s face change from one that was soft and gentle to one that was filled with resolve, “Do your job, stop being my Ryosuke, and be the Idol,” Yuri demanded, recognizing that this was going to require a different tactic to do what he wanted to do, lifting up on his knees, grinning at Ryosuke who was scowling, shaking his head, and then quickly opening his water, taking a deep pull into his mouth hoping it would cool him off.

He spewed the water out, glancing around, relieved he wasn’t on the jumbotron, nearly choking as Yuri’s hands had moved all the way up his legs to the edge of his underwear, his fingers slowly tracing the lines that ran around his thighs causing him to tremble, and then as he looked down with wide eyes, Yuri spoke in no uncertain terms, his voice smooth and firm, but laced with the need he had to do this one thing, the thing only he could do for his beloved, “You can either embrace it, or not, but either way, you’re going to come for me, right here, right now— _please,_ let me give you this without making me feel like I’m molesting you or forcing you to do something you don’t want.”

His fingers began to trace lines around Ryosuke’s abdomen, causing him to break out into a cold sweat, his heart a chaotic rhythm in his head, Yuri’s voice taking on an air of seduction as he continued to speak softly, his tone intimate, knowing, “In front of _all of these people_ , all of these fans, all of them, witnessing you coming undone at _my command_ , but not even knowing, not even _seeing_ what is right before their eyes…”

Ryosuke’s eyes widened, his mouth going dry as he tried to come up with an argument, any words that might put a stop to this madness…but he knew that Yuri was already aware of the truth, somehow.

“I _know_ it’s what you want…”

Ryosuke sucked in a sharp breath when Yuri’s hand moved down, gripping him through his underwear, the hard length of his arousal speaking volumes as to the effect Yuri’s words had on him no matter how much he wanted to pretend he was above that.

“How…did you kn—“

“You talk in your sleep, remember?” Yuri winked at him, seeing the approval as it crossed his face, the understanding, and the quick nod of his head that meant he was all in, whether a mistake or not—that was all Yuri needed. Ryosuke watched as his face reflected the hunger, the desire he had to do this for him and all he could think was how fortunate he was.

Yuri smiled, his eyes conveying how pleased he was, then moved quickly so there was no chance that Ryosuke would change his mind. Ducking his head down quickly until Ryosuke could no longer see him, instead, his body was covered by the pink fabric of his coat, his mouth landing on his thigh, sucking slowly on the skin with clear intent to leave a bruise as his hands moved around his thighs to pull him forward.

Ryosuke shifted his feet apart, shuffling until he could rest his elbows on the side of the cart bent slightly forward but far enough away for Yuri to fit between him and the wall. He was unclear on what the hell Yuri had done with his own legs, but not particularly caring at the moment, as he held his breath, trying to figure out a way to handle this.

_This is insane. We are insane._

His eyes drifted over the crowd, his mind filtering through his options while doing his best to pay attention to the questions, since Daiki was now answering something or another about something he couldn’t even begin to comprehend, because Yuri had moved his mouth up to his belly button and was slowly swirling his tongue there as his hands shifted the “easy access” opening of his underwear to release him.

He hissed, inhaling sharply, his hands gripping the rail as Yuri pushed his legs, forcing him to spread them wider, when Yuri’s hand began to lightly stroke him, his mouth moving back to his leg, sucking hard there again. All his senses were hypersensitive, the venue, the lights, the sounds, the feelings all intoxicating, threatening to overwhelm him. It was as if he could feel the light tickling his skin, the air skimming the edges of his ears, and he heard his name spoken over the crowd, trying to focus, repeating the mantra “be the Idol” over and over again as he stared blankly at Hikaru who was conveying the question the member of the audience had for him. He reached a trembling hand up to turn his mic back on.

“The young lady would like to know who from our group you’re closest to in your personal time and why?”

“Ahh,” he hummed softly, clearing his throat, “We are all very close, of course,” he said just what he would say any other time, because it’s true they are all very close, he bit his lip for a moment, trying to not make a sound, as Yuri twisted his hand, causing a spike of pleasure to travel up his spine, “b-but on our own time we d-do tend to break up into s-smaller groups.”

“I can—can’t speak for others,” he paused unnaturally for a moment, his hands gripping the edge of the cart, knuckles white as he felt Yuri’s tongue move slowly from the base all the way to the tip, _once_ , “but for myself, I…I…um, ahhhh…I spend time with,” _twice_ , “aahhhhh, Keito, and Daiki, and…”

Just as he was about to say the last name, Chinen plunged his mouth down his length, pushing further and further forward as his lips met his hand, sucking hard, humming to increase the sensation.

“CH-HINEN!” the name came out somewhere between a scream and a curse.

_Fucking Chinen, I will fucking kill him._

Everyone laughed, and he had no idea what they _actually_ thought was happening, no idea at all, but Hikaru laughed with everyone, “Yeah, you and Chii-chan are very close, we can tell you feel really strongly about that. So…why?”

“Ahhhhh—haaa--hhh,” he drew the sound out longer than he needed to, something between a sigh and a groan, because he _HAD_ to make some kind of noise as Yuri began bobbing his head, slowly working him with his mouth and hand, consuming him, tormenting him, his legs shaking beneath him, “We get along, l-liiiike the saaame things.”

He lifted a shaky hand to wipe across his brow, the sweat threatening to drip down his face, when Hikaru spoke again, nodding, just like they were having a perfectly normal conversation, except Ryosuke felt like he was going to scream if he had to keep talking, “You and Chii-chan are exceptionally close, what makes your friendship with him different than with the other Jump members?”

_Fuck!_

“Ah…hmmmm…” he hummed, any vocalization was satisfying right now, and then wanted to cry when Yuri stopped. Stopped moving, stopped stroking, stopped everything as if his continuation of this activity was solely dependent on Ryosuke’s answer to the question.

_Fucking fuck!_

“Yuri is…” _a fucking asinine son of a bitch who is going to die a slow and painful death after this show_ , “my b-best friend…”

The crowd twittered with happiness at the confession then quieted to hear the rest.

Yuri’s hand slid down his shaft, barely touching him, just a tease, one slow soft stroke that make his knees feel like they were going to buckle out from under him, “He k-knows me better than anyone really, and I-I can be m-myself with him.”

Another soft, teasing stroke, a gentle caress of his mouth against the skin on his leg.

“He has a-a beautiful s-soul, and I-I….” He felt Yuri’s breath whisper across the sensitive head, a soft kiss placed on the tip,

 “Oohh, mmmy Goooooddddd,” Ryosuke couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, a strangled sound echoing across the arena, his fingers digging into the metal, locking his arms to keep them from shaking, glad he was good at thinking fast, “He would kill me for saying this, s-sooooooo, you guys make s-sure he doesn’t f-find out, okay?”

The crowd buzzed with excitement at being given special insight into the ‘Yamachii’ relationship.

“I really, r-really love him the best,” he announced, slapping the mic away from his face, wanting the attention to leave him as quickly as possible, clicking off the mic, groaning loudly, his eyes open and fixed, praying that they would move on because he could tell that if Yuri moved he was going to come, within seconds, and he did _NOT_ want that to happen with the cameras on him.

The crowd went crazy, and suddenly the lights dimmed a bit and all the screens filled with a montage of pictures of him and Yuri and he couldn’t be bothered to question _why_ they even had something like that prepared, his eyes just focused on it to keep from losing his mind, the pictures flashing one after another and the crowd’s volume growing with each one.

Yuri was still and Ryosuke wanted to scream at him because he was pretty sure he was going to die if he didn’t finish this, his entire body was wound up so tight and he didn’t think he’d ever been as hard as he was right now—and all he wanted, all he needed was Yuri’s mouth.

Everything happened in less than a ten second span of time…

“Fuck, Ree!” his voice was so loud he wanted to cringe, but thankfully it was lost in the sound of the crowd below him, as Yuri was done tormenting Ryosuke, causing him to inhale sharply when his mouth finally moved down, meeting his hand as he bobbed his head, twisting and slurping as he came back up, _he was so close_.

_Once._

The screens in the corner lit up with his face again and he was cursing the entire world—hell, the entire galaxy, because he couldn’t stop this, not now, his face was flushed, his skin slick with sweat, his lips were slightly parted as he was panting, attempting to keep his eyes open, to convey something _other_ than the fact his boyfriend was giving him the most erotic, sensual, and hardcore blowjob ever right in front of all of them and that the first wave of his orgasm was _moments_ away from pulsing through his body. A low groan beginning deep inside.

_Twice._

Yuri had known how close Ryosuke was, knowing his body like his own, and he knew just what he needed, one hand on the shaft firm as it pressed back toward his pelvis, moving his mouth around the head like he was enjoying his favorite ice cream cone. He moaned as he felt the tightening, the hand that had been cupping his balls, squeezing lightly, sliding backward to press the heel of his hand upward right where he knew it would bring Ryosuke the most pleasure.

Ryosuke’s entire body froze for a moment, his breath caught in his throat making a gasping sound, and the room felt like it was spinning, and then suddenly, he was coming, instantly, hard, his hands reached down to touch Yuri, frustrated by the stupid fabric separating them, not used to feeling alone in this moment. His body shuddered, his hips rolling, thrusting forward into the hand that was holding him firmly at the base of his cock, Yuri’s mouth continuing to move as his body came apart in the ecstasy of his climax. He felt the unique sensation of Yuri swallowing, another wave sweeping through him as he continued to worship him, heightening each sensation as it moved through his body.

He bit his lip, reducing the noises he wanted to make to choked back groans, moans, and gasps that he knew Yuri would hear but no one else would. He wanted him to _know_ what he was doing to him, since he couldn’t see it. When the last wave rushed through him, he whimpered, buckling forward, his hands catching himself on the rail as Yuri slowed his movements, softened his touch, easing him down from the euphoria.

He felt Yuri’s mouth carefully cleaning him, lovingly, gently, making sure he would be comfortable enough to finish the concert, tucking him back in his “easy access” underwear, then slowly Ryosuke opened his eyes, discovering that sometime during that mind-blowing orgasm, the lights had gone out and two of the boys were on the far front stage doing some planned gag with the audience singing along. Glancing behind him he realized the balloon had moved into place for him to exit it and go down the higher flights of steps. They had twelve minutes before they had to be out there for ‘Party Monster’.

He had never been more grateful for complete darkness than that moment, as the area of the stage they were in was bathed in it.

Yuri slid backwards, moving out from under the robe and Ryosuke’s eyes met his, one of his hands releasing the edge, reaching down to grab the hand that fluttered up to him, intertwining his fingers within Yuri’s, pulling him up.

He should be smarter, they both should be smarter, maybe, but there were times in life you just said, ‘screw it all’ and did what felt right, and this was one of those moments. As soon as Yuri was standing, Ryosuke pressed forward to capture his lips with his own, softly, gently and then pulling back to look into his eyes, barely discernible in the dim light of the stage, “Thank you—it was _better_ than…just absolutely... _perfect_!”

Yuri smiled, and to Ryosuke it seemed like it was so beautiful it could light up the whole arena, “I would do _anything_ to make you smile, Ryosuke, I love you.”

Ryosuke leaned his head forward, pressing a soft kiss to Yuri’s temple, then one on his forehead before he tilted his head down to look into his eyes, “Everything you do makes me smile, Chiisana, _everything_. I love you.”

* * *

##  **Epilogue**

* * *

A few weeks later the boys were gathered around a table at headquarters discussing some of their end of year plans when Kota pulled out a stack of magazines and threw them on the table, “I think it’s past time to discuss this.”

Everyone was confused, pulling them around to look at them until all eyes shifted and landed on Ryosuke and Yuri who were both looking down at a magazine Keito had pushed between them.

Ryosuke looked up, his expression unreadable, and then he laughed, “What?”

“That’s you and someone in that damn balloon!” Hikaru hissed, standing up.

“No shit, Sherlock, don’t be stupid, Hikka, it’s fucking me and Yuri!” Ryosuke felt challenged, and jumped to his feet, causing the entire room to erupt, bursting into multiple conversations all at once, all of them chaotic and loud, and Ryosuke just looked down, shaking his head, when Yuri raised his voice, trembling as the words filled the room, “Shut the fuck up already!”

Everyone stopped talking, shocked at the outburst, Ryosuke sitting down in the chair next to him, pulling on his hand trying to get him to sit too, but Yuri shook it off, glancing down at him with fire in his eyes.

“We’re allowed to be happy, you don’t have to be happy for us, that might be too much to ask, but I’m _not_ apologizing for loving him.”

Ryosuke wanted to grab Yuri and run him out of the room because he could hear it, he could hear the breaking in his voice and he knew damn well if he started crying in this room with the other members he was going to hate himself.

“Nobody said you needed to apologize, Chii-chan,” Daiki spoke softly, “but you’re also not supposed to draw attention to this….” The sentence ended in a question, one that Daiki was trying to understand.

He waved his hands at the books on the table, “This is bad, you know?”

“Is it really though?” Ryosuke stood up, slamming his hands on the table, frowning when he saw Yuri flinch, instinctively reaching his arm out to the side to press Yuri behind him, comforted when he felt him latch onto his shirt, “Is it REALLY a bad thing? Please, enlighten me, I want to know how it’s a bad thing?”

Some of them shuffled their feet, others looked down, but Ryosuke just raised his voice, “All I see are fucking shadows—if someone can actually identify anything from those pictures, please, show me, I want to see it now! We’re not STUPID! We’re not idiotic enough to get caught!”

He leaned over, grabbing the magazines and pointing at each one, “Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing! Nothing!”

“But for sure, you dumbasses, please make sure you harass Yuri, please, make sure you make him feel good and guilty for something that is absolutely going to have _zero effect_ on any one of you! If we did get in trouble it would be US getting in trouble, not you!”

“What you do affects us all!” Hikaru spoke plainly.

“The only bad thing that could come from this is what, please, Hikka, tell me? Cause I’ll kick anyone’s ass who thinks they’re going to screw with us! I’ll walk away from Johnny’s before I leave him.”

Ryosuke took Yuri’s hand that was clenching to his arm, holding it firmly so he’d know he didn’t have to worry.

“I don’t know!” Hikaru admitted, frustrated, “But this can’t be okay!? Can it?”

He looked around at the others, and everyone just shrugged, no one really knowing what to think.

“It’s fine, you guys need to calm the fuck down,” Yuto stated, his eyes shifting around the room, “Keito and I have known for….”

He glanced at Ryosuke, asking for permission—he nodded his head curtly in agreement.

“I’ve known for a long time that they were falling in love, but out of respect for the group, they both lived in denial—if any of you had actually taken the time to pay attention you would have seen how tortured they were. That said, they’ve been _living together_ for almost three years.”

‘Three…wha…” Daiki looked up at Ryosuke and then glanced to Yuri who had his head down, hiding behind him, “You two have been living together, as in _living together_ for almost three damn years?!”

“We have,” Ryosuke stated, unapologetically.

“What the fuck? Who all knew about this?” Daiki couldn’t stop his expression from exposing his hurt feelings, even though he sounded so angry.

“7 knew,” Ryosuke stated, “I’m sorry Dai-chan, but _only_ 7 knew. We were waiting to tell you guys when the time was right, and then there was never a ‘right’ time.”

Ryosuke ran his hands through his hair, frustration marking his words, “Listen, it’s not an easy thing, okay? Making yourself vulnerable—sure, you guys love me and you love Yuri—but how could we predict what you’d feel about us being together? It was a huge risk, one that we were scared to take—not because we didn’t _want_ to share our lives with you, but because we valued our relationship with you enough to want to protect it! Beyond that, we valued our group too much to risk issues that our relationship would create if any of you _didn’t_ support us.”

“…but, it’s been getting harder and harder to pretend in front of you, I mean, you guys are our best friends, and keeping it secret _wasn’t_ because we didn’t trust you, we just…we only told 7 because we were together so much and Yutti is a  _nosy ass bitch_ ,” he glanced at Yuto who stuck his tongue out at him, mumbling something about being exceptionally perceptive and that he was sending back the anniversary present he’d already purchased for them now.

“And, I mean…Keito practically lives with us,” gesturing to Keito with his hand.

“Heyyyyy,” Keito whined, crossing his arms.

“We’re _raising_ you, Keito, you big baby! Now, be quiet,” Ryosuke snapped, glancing over to see Keito pouting, “Other than those two, and our families, we have been extremely cautious, and we haven’t told anyone else. Partly to protect ourselves, and mostly to protect Jump.”

“I knew,” Kota admitted, shrugging, and honestly, no one was surprised because Kota somehow always seem to know everything, “ _from the start_.”

Ryosuke raised his eyebrow at Kota, a question asked, and then Kota stated firmly, “I knew _from the start_ , Yama-chan—I saw what Yuto saw—I knew you were fighting your feelings for one another when you both were sixteen—however, I knew when I delivered your gifts from your Coming of Age ceremony that you two had finally agreed to be together.”

Ryosuke’s mouth opened and closed, shocked that Kota knew and had allowed them to continue to move forward, while the other members in the room looked at one another with matching expressions of some strange level of shock, not just because of hearing this out loud, but more so, how could they all not know that these two had been dancing around the edges of being a couple for what? _Six, seven years?!_

“Damn,” Yuya murmured, “That’s a long time to keep something in like that.”

“I admit, I knew, also, more recently,” Kei spoke, almost apologizing, “When I came to your apartment to discuss the stage architecture for the tour last year, I realized it—because you forgot to remove the pictures from your refrigerator.”

Ryosuke nodded, thankful Kei hadn’t made a big deal of it, “It’s hard to have two lives, it’s hard to pretend—we’re just…tired of doing it I guess?”

“I mean…you know,” Daiki spoke earnestly, staring at Ryosuke, “I mean, I don’t think any of us are actually… _shocked_ about this—it’s…just that we…I dunno what I’m trying to say—we would have supported you guys. If we had known we would have.”

“So much makes sense now…” Yuya admitted, “I  mean, Dai-chan is right, Best had discussed this, you know but then…I guess we all thought there was no way because you both are such sticklers for the rules and all. We were stupid, we saw it but denied it because it would make things hard on us.”

Yuya glanced around challenging any of the Best members to say it wasn’t true—this was a time to come clean, not continue to stick their heads in the sand.

“I’m sorry,” Hikaru spoke, shaking his head lightly, “I didn’t mean to act like I was unhappy with you guys, this just scares me—it’s been drilled into our heads, no relationships, no relationships, and it’s hard to think differently—dating each other still seems against the rules. But Dai-chan and Yuyan are right, we’d totally go to the mat with you guys! We’d fight Johnny’s right beside you—we’re Jump, not some group that wouldn’t take care of their own.”

“You shouldn’t have to hide it—at least not from us, we’re _your group_ , _we’re brothers_ —but, I do see now that we made you do that—because we ignored what was right in front of us just so we wouldn’t have to deal with it,” Daiki admitted softly, his eyes focused on the magazines in front of him, “We clearly didn’t make it easy on you and I’m sorry for whatever role I played in this.”

“I agree, I should have told you I knew,” Kei whispered softly, his eyes full of apologies, “I’m really sorry you two.”

Some of the others spoke saying different things when Daiki abruptly shouted, “OY!”

Everyone looked at him and he picked up one of the magazines, holding it up and pointing to the blurry picture of the balloon that appeared to have not one but two people in it.

“This was the _last concert_ , this was during the…holy shit!!!” Daiki’s eyes went wide as he opened and closed his mouth, “Fucking, you two were in that damn balloon together and you—“ His finger pointed to Yuri who was looking up at him now, peering cautiously over Ryosuke’s shoulder, eyes wide, “And, oh my God, fucking YOU!” His finger pointed at Ryosuke, “You were—and that, _that noise_ \--and your fucking _face_ , was that— _fucking hell!_ ”

 

Everyone was looking at Daiki like he’d lost his mind, and Ryosuke couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up in him as he watched the realization hit the other members one by one, Daiki pulling at his hair, making a noise of exasperation, and then exclaiming, “I don’t know whether to congratulate you two on having the biggest balls in Johnny’s, or go bleach my damn eyes because I saw _Yamada’s fucking orgasm face_ on a two-hundred-foot screen!”

 

* * *

 

 

|   
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	11. Canada (Yuri goes to Canada for work, leaving Yama-chan alone, 2017)

Yuri reached over to grab his phone off the nightstand, fumbling to turn off the alarm, then smiling when he felt Ryosuke’s arm slide around his waist, pulling him over into him. He put his phone back down, twisting so he was facing Ryosuke.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Ryosuke murmured sleepily.

“About what?” Yuri asked him, reaching over to move his hair away from his face so he could see him better.

“I don’t think I want you to become famous, Chiisana,” he pushed forward, burying his head into the crook of Yuri’s neck, inhaling deeply as his arms held him tightly.

“It’s a little late for that I’m afraid, "Yuri laughed lightly, his hands moving through Ryosuke’s hair and then running along the muscles of his back, causing him to hum softly, tickling Yuri’s neck.

"I don’t like it,” Ryosuke muttered, sprinkling kisses along Yuri’s neck and jaw.

Yuri laughed softly, pulling back, but Ryosuke held him tighter when he tried to move, causing Yuri to huff loudly, “You go off on location for movies for months at a time, Ryo–I’ll only be gone a week. One single week, seven days, I promise you’ll survive.”

Ryosuke pulled back, looking at Yuri, his eyes full of unspoken words, “I know that, I know, I do, but it feels different with you going for some reason.” His eyes fluttered, and for a moment Yuri thought he might cry but then he blinked, looking at him, his expression open and honest, “I have no idea what it’s like to be here by myself without you.”

Yuri smiled, leaning forward to kiss his forehead and then drew his arms up between them, cupping Ryosuke’s face, “I’ll be home before you can even start to miss me.”

“No,” Ryosuke pouted, his bottom lip jutting forward, “That’s impossible, I already miss you and you haven’t even left yet.”

Yuri leaned forward, his lips touching Ryosuke’s gently, softly nipping at his bottom lip, squealing when Ryosuke pushed forward, rolling him over onto his back, pressing him down into the mattress, his mouth insistent and tender at the same time, the kiss spiraling in a way that conveyed how Ryosuke was feeling on so many levels.

Terrified of change, worried about distances, concerned about success on both their behalves and what that might mean for each of them independently and more importantly for their relationship, hope for the future, tenderness for the time they’d spend apart and above all else a deep abiding love that surpassed all of the obstacles, whether real or supposed.

Ryosuke broke the kiss, panting softly, covering Yuri’s face and neck with fluttering touches with his lips, and Yuri held him there against his chest, sighing, “I have to go, Ryo, I have to get ready–I can’t miss my flight.”

“Stay with me, Ree,” Ryosuke murmured, knowing he was being selfish and a spoiled brat, but if Yuri could do it, then he could too, because he didn’t want him to go, not at all, his mouth pressed forward to pull his lip between his own, his hand smoothing across Yuri’s abdomen.

Yuri’s hand snapped down to grab Ryosuke’s wrist before he started something they certainly didn’t have time for, shifting his head to disengage from the kiss before it overwhelmed his senses, “When I get back, we’ll pick up right here–but I need to go.”

Ryosuke huffed, throwing himself down onto the bed, his arm covering his eyes as he frowned, “Fine.”

“I left a present for you on the dining room table,” Yuri whispered, kissing Ryosuke quickly and then scrambling off the bed before he got a hold of him to drag him back.

Ryosuke laughed, flopping onto his tummy, having lunged for him but missed, “What is it?”

“You’ll have to open it to find out, but  _not_ until after I leave,” Yuri slipped on his sweatpants, and then threw his t-shirt over his head, planning to wear comfortable clothes for this flight since he’d be on the plane for so long, looking pointedly at Ryosuke who had stood up from the bed, turning to go to the dining room.

“Why do I have to wait?” Ryosuke pouted, and then he turned, shifting his body to face Yuri, and rest his hands on his hips, knowing full well the lovely display he was giving him, his pajama pants hanging low on his hips, shirtless so his sculpted abdomen thanks to touring season showed a sharp contrast in the dim lighting, his messy bed-head and the cute little ‘come hither’ smile he was wearing all combining together to make him nearly irresistable.

He raised an eyebrow, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, pulling out all the stops in an effort to lure him in as Yuri walked across the room, and then scoffed loudly when Yuri brushed by him to walk down the hallway, laughing lightly when Yuri spoke over his shoulder, “I’m not falling for you this morning– _unlike you_ , I have to be a professional today.”

“But, Ree,” Ryosuke whined, following him down the hallway, grabbing him around his waist and pulling him back against him, his chin resting on his shoulder, “I can get your flight changed, I could call and get you a different flight–I’ll pay for all of the expenses.”

“No, you can’t, I am taking the last flight out today, and I have to be there for pre-show rehearsals, and to learn about the athletes in the morning,” Yuri sighed, “I will already be dealing with enough jet-lag without cutting twelve hours off of my adjustment.”

“But…”

“Ryo-chan,” Yuri reached up, holding his head against his own, “Now, two hours, six hours, a day, three days, weeks, nothing…” he turned his head to kiss him gently, Ryosuke’s hand moving up into his hair, “It wouldn’t matter–nothing will make it any easier…I’ve experienced this a lot. I know.”

Ryosuke groaned, not ready to admit defeat, his lips moving down his neck as he held him, “I can charter you your own plane,” he whispered, “I’ll call right now, and you can just stay here for a few hours, just a few more hours with me,“ Ryosuke begged, turning his head to kiss behind Yuri’s ear softly.

Yuri sighed, "Ryosuke, I have  _never_  made it this hard for you to go to work since the day we started living together four years ago.”

“I haven’t even _started_  to make it hard,” Ryosuke mused, sucking lightly on Yuri’s neck.

“Oh my God,” Yuri slammed his elbow into Ryosuke’s abdomen, making him laugh as he released him.

Yuri moved through the house to the front door, checking his luggage, making sure his ticket was where he’d left it, doing a double check on all of his arrangements, and then glanced up to find Ryosuke leaning against the doorway watching him.

“What?” Yuri asked tersely, ready for another round of making him feel guilty for having to work.

“I’m really proud of you, Yuri,” Ryosuke smiled, his eyes lit up with admiration and pride, “I’m not meaning to be a big baby…I just… _I really am a big baby_ , you know…that’s all, but I am so proud of you–and I can’t wait to see you on international television looking gorgeous in the clothes you let me pick out for you, talking intelligently about these things you know so much about, and sounding like the brilliantly amazing guy you are.”

Yuri moved over to stand in front of him as he spoke, looking down as Ryosuke reached forward to grab both of his hands, blinking and then looking back up at him, Ryosuke’s voice laced with conviction as he spoke, “I’m stupidly in love with you, and I am insanely proud of you, and I am extremely thankful that you have this opportunity to show the whole world who you are.”

He released his hands, stepping forward to cup his cheeks, “…but don’t forget you have me waiting back here for you while you’re out discovering the world, okay?”

“You stupid boy,” Yuri muttered, pressing into him, kissing him hard on the lips, and then drawing back, “Stop being so dumb, I’ll never forget you, you know that.”

“Well, who knows,” Ryosuke’s face lit up with amusement, “There may be Canadian guys who are even hotter than me, who’s to say?”

Yuri laughed, brushing past him to go to the kitchen, “ _I’m to say_ , and there’s not. I’ve managed to land the hottest guy in the whole world.”

“I like that,” Ryosuke laughed, plopping down on the couch, watching Yuri grab an apple out of the fruit bowl, tossing it up in the air, meaning to carry in the car with him, “You should remind me of that more often!”

“If I remind you of that more often,” Yuri mused, setting the apple and his phone on the coffee table, then moving to Ryosuke on the couch, standing in front of him, yelping when Ryosuke lifted forward, grabbing him and pulling him down to him, his legs landing on each side of his, while Ryosuke held him tightly, his head pressed against his chest as he hugged him, Yuri laughing lightly, his fingers digging through Ryosuke’s hair as he leaned over to kiss the crown of his head softly, his voice laced with amusement, “If I remind you more often, you’ll be even more impossible to live with.”

Ryosuke scoffed, tilting his head up, and before he could say anything, Yuri’s hands grazed his shoulders, moving up to touch his face, leaning down to kiss him, his mouth soft and tender on his, met with the same love and adoration from Rysoke, as they began the slow dance to say goodbye, this time both of them feeling very differently than they had ever felt before.

Yuri pulled back, his voice trembling, “I’ve never done anything on my own before,” he whispered, leaning his forehead on Ryosuke’s, “I’m a little bit…”

Ryosuke reached up to kiss him before he could finish the sentence, pulling back with a smile, “Don’t even say it, you’re perfectly capable of doing  _anything_ , you’ll be fine, you’re going to blow them all away with your charisma and knowledge and poise, so don’t even listen to the voice that would tell you otherwise.”

“I wish I believed it as much as you do,” Yuri smiled, but it was weak.

“I’ve never lied to you, Ree,” Ryosuke spoke firmly, his hand reaching up to grab his chin to hold Yuri’s face still, forcing him to look at him, “I’m not lying now.”

Yuri stared at him, his eyes trying to memorize this, the way Ryosuke was looking at him, the way his hands shifted downward to hold his hips, the way his fingers felt on the skin of his waist where he’d forced his shirt up just so he could touch him directly, the way he was staring at him as if he could somehow convince him that he was more than capable with his sheer force of will–and the love that radiated out of him, that was the part he wanted to be sure to remember, to carry with him through the challenges that lie ahead.

“Thank you,” Yuri murmured, capturing his lips again, his hand tangling through his hair, as Ryosuke drew him down, holding him close as the kiss intensified, feelings overwhelming both of them, and then the chime on Yuri’s phone made them both freeze.

Yuri groaned, leaning his head down onto Ryosuke’s shoulder, “Okay…okay…”

Ryosuke didn’t give him the chance to work himself up into a frenzy, instead, he reached between them to push him back so he could see him, “Go do your job.”

Yuri stared at him for a moment and then he nodded, his resolve building through Ryosuke’s assurance, and then Ryosuke pushed him again, “Go, show the world the Yuri I love,” and Yuri smiled, shifting to stand up, grabbing his phone and apple, walking to the foyer to pick up his carry-on bag and turning to look at Ryosuke, “I’ll be right back.”

“I’m counting on it,” Ryosuke winked, “Please be careful, and call me when you get there.”

“'kay,” Yuri turned to grab the handle of his suitcase, jumping when Ryosuke twisted him around, kissing him forcefully, passionately, and then pulling back, his face so close his lips were still brushing his, “I love you, Chiisana.”

“I love you, too,” Yuri smiled, kissing him quickly, softly, his eyes open, a refrain of words passing between their eyes, their very souls, lingering for one last moment of togetherness, and then Ryosuke reached past him to pull the door open for him, his voice soft, “Go, do your job, and then come back to me.”

Yuri kissed his cheek, quickly and then shuffled out the door, Ryosuke moved into the doorway to watch as he made his way down the hallway to the elevator, smiling when Yuri didn’t look back, which didn’t surprise him, because he never could look back either–always too scared he’d run back into their home, their safe haven, into Yuri’s arms.

He sighed, walking back into the emptiness, already it felt colder without Yuri there, and he closed the door, locking it and then leaning back on it, sighing softly, wondering if it would be worth trying to go back to bed or not. He moved slowly down the hall, his eyes landing on the gift on the dining room table.

He shuffled over to it, picking the small box up to shake it, and then sat it back down as he pulled on the pink ribbon, brushing it off the box so he could lift the lid, pulling back the tissue paper to find a book inside.

He lifted the book out of the tissue, and looked at it, blank on the front and back, about the size of a small journal, and maybe a half an inch thick. Curious, he opened the front cover where he found a hand written letter. He flipped through the book, finding it full of images from over the years, plus some new ones that he’d most definitely need to look at more fully, along with hand written notes with each and every one of them from Yuri. He moved back to the front page, drawing out the letter and reading it.

 

> My precious Ryo-chan,
> 
> I am on my way to my very first solo adventure. I mean sure I’ve done things before by myself, but there was always you waiting at the end of the day for me–this time I’ll really be on my own, all the way across the world in another country. Still, know I carry you with me in my heart.
> 
> I am guessing that you were a total brat this morning, in fact, I am willing to bet you were, but don’t worry, I do understand. I made this book for you to keep with you in case you need a reminder that I’m only gone for a short time, a reminder of how important, how absolutely vital you are to me, and how very much I love you. You own my heart, you own me; body, mind, spirit, and soul.
> 
> I am yours. I’ve been yours from the beginning. I’ll always be yours.
> 
> I’ll be back soon, until then, remember all of these words and memories and feel my love from afar.
> 
> Be home soon!
> 
> I love you with all my heart,
> 
> Your Chiisana


	12. Love Letters (November 2017)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love letters from Yamachii to each other =)

Chiisana—

I'm sorry I got home after you were asleep and I have to leave before you wake up. I hate days when I don't at least get to hear your voice. UGH. I'm sorry...I wish I could fix my schedule but this is how it has to be right now, and of course, I know...I know...you understand, you always do.

Thank you for always understanding, seriously.

I really did think about waking you up but...well, you were doing that soft little snoring thing you do and it's so freaking adorable I couldn't even consider waking you up. Plus, those Disney pajamas were hella cute so...yeah...I left you sleeping.

Sorta regretting it now that I'm writing this, but...well, I can't be late...so I just wanted to leave a note, just to remind you how much I love you—because you're so good to me, so patient and loving...seriously, I don't know anyone else who would put up with all of this nonsense when I'm filming and all—but...you do...because you're just that amazing.

Thank you so much for the pasta you left on the counter for me! It was super amazing. You know my weakness haha

I like that you tried to put it on one of our plates and pass it off as your own lol   
You should hide the containers from the café a little better next time haha still, it was so thoughtful, and wonderful, and it really touched me...thank you for thinking of me.

You always do.

It's sometimes shocking to come home and find something like that, you know? Like...to see the little note there with fuzzy stickers on it saying you love me and dinner on a plate for me? I'm sure others expect those things...but I can't imagine it, to not be amazed by the gesture–by the love behind it...

I wonder if you're the same?

It sort of feels like a dream sometimes?

Like, before your love was mine, before you were my boyfriend, my husband, I came home to a dark, empty house—and I didn't see it as lonely, not really, it just was...it was what I knew after I moved out on my own. I'd turn on all the lights, and then I'd turn on the tv and turn up the volume so there was a kind of noise.

Something, anything to break up the starkness.

I know now I was lonely.

I was sort of lost to it...

But then there was you.

Loving you...it made everything different...it changed everything.

It wasn't just the things you'd think, it's not just...you being in my bed at night, or your toothbrush next to mine, you know?

It isn't just the fact that you steal my robe when you forget to fluff yours...or the way you put the juice back in the fridge when there's just a tiny bit left cause you hate to be the one to throw it out lol I don't mind those things and if anyone had ever told me that your quirky habits would be endearments that I would treasure I don't know if I would have been able to imagine such a thing—yet, it's the truth.

I feel whole and complete.....like there was a dark void that didn't have a name before, and then your love appeared and shined a light into the blank space, creating an entire world I didn't know could exist with the first breath you spoke my name, the way you said you loved me...the way you pushed through all of your own fears to tackle mine to the ground...

I love the way you love me...soft, gentle, hard, demanding, unconditional, petulant, passionate, thorough, deeply, simply, genuinely, devotedly, so completely perfectly...

Just...Ree...THANK YOU

I don't always deserve you, I know that—I'm temperamental, cranky, and bratty.

Everyone thinks it's you but I know the truth as well as you do...maybe we're both that way, but I'd say if you didn't take such good care of me, I'd be a mess most of the time.

Thank you for loving me...for letting me love you.

I do.

With my whole heart.

Stay with me forever, be mine always, let me show you every day for the rest of our lives how much I love and adore you, how much I cherish you, need you, want you, have to have you.

Be mine always.

Today, tomorrow, forever.

Your Ryo-chan

(Will be posting the response letter in the next day or so)


	13. Your Fault (October 2017)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt Request: "I worked all day, and I want to go out to dinner, go get dressed, you slacker."

October 22, 2017

Ryosuke pushed the door closed with his foot as he sat his bag down, leaning back onto the wall to remove his shoes, calling out, "Ree! I'm home!"

He put his shoes into the closet and then tilted his head, listening for Yuri but not hearing him, "Ree?"

He moved through the entry and down the hallway, turning to go to the living room, not finding Yuri there, he returned the way he'd walked so he could pass through the kitchen. He stopped to look at the stack of mail on the counter, picking up the menu to the little place on the corner that sold one of his favorite meals.

"Coupon, nice," he laid the paper back down, his tummy growling loudly as he thought about how good their food was. He considered maybe they could go there to eat tonight, but needing something to see him through until then, he reached across the counter, grabbing an apple for a quick snack before he moved through the kitchen to the other door.

He slid it open, glancing one way down the hall and then the other, not trusting that Yuri wasn't laying in wait to scare the hell out of him–something he'd taken a liking to after he realized how freaked out Ryosuke would get when he didn't answer him when he called for him.

The result of too many scary movies...and probably he could blame Hikaru and Daiki for their part of it as they'd practically terrorized him as a child.

He waited for movement or a scream or any other indication that Yuri was stalking him and when it didn't come, he darted across the hallway, opening the bedroom door and rushing inside.

He smiled, relieved when he heard the television making noise.

He shuffled into the room, glancing over at the TV to see one of Yuri's animated movies playing. He couldn't help but love that about him, the fact that all of his favorite movies were still cartoons–well, it was something he found truly endearing.

He stepped over toward the huge, plush love seat, leaning over it to find Yuri curled up into a ball, wrapped up in a blanket, seemingly fast asleep.

"There you are," he whispered, a smile slowly spreading as Ryosuke stared at him for a moment, never missing a chance to just bask in the awe of being married to the guy he'd only ever dreamed of.

He bent over, propping up on his elbows as he leaned down, intent on waking him up, when Yuri shifted, blinking up at him sleepily, "Wh...you're home."

"I am," Ryosuke confirmed, his fingers stroking his cheek as he reached down to move the blanket away from his face so he could see him better.

Yuri made a contented humming noise, his eyes fluttering closed, and then without opening his eyes, his arm reached up to grab around Ryosuke's neck, pulling him down.

Ryosuke laughed, leaning as far over the edge of the couch as he dared to without actually flipping over it in order to kiss him quickly before he drew back, causing Yuri to make a loud sound of protest.

"Calm down," Ryosuke chided him softly as he rounded the love seat, crawling up the large footrest to pull Yuri over into his embrace.

Yuri snuggled into him, his voice soft, "Glad you're home."

Ryosuke hummed in agreement, his fingers brushing through Yuri's hair as he tilted his head up, "How was work?"

Ryosuke shrugged, not particularly wanting to discuss it, it was nothing special, but still a bother as he'd had far more appearances than he was comfortable with in a single day, he shook his head, "Work."

Yuri nodded, understanding, then twisted in his arms, his legs popping out from under the blanket as he bowed his back, squeaking as he stretched.

Ryosuke just grinned at how cute he was, waiting until he finished his stretch, smiling when he instantly curled back up into a ball against him like a tiny kitten.

"What did  _you_  do today?" Ryosuke asked, pretty certain he already knew the answer, squeezing Yuri's shoulders as he held him impossibly closer.

"This..."

Yuri lifted his head up, his lips curling into his most mischief filled grin, making him look infinitely more kittenish to Ryosuke.

"By ' _this_ ' you actually mean napped and watched Disney movies?"

"Yep," Yuri had zero shame at all, not even bothering to make an excuse, "I got up and ate breakfast around eleven and then took a long hot bath–then, put on a fresh pair of pajamas, then came right here and have been here ever since."

Yuri's eyes widened when Ryosuke shifted drawing the apple he'd carried in up to his mouth, pausing as his eyes widened, "What?"

"I'm  _starving_ ," Yuri announced, his eyes moving from Ryosuke's to the apple.

"Ree," Ryosuke tilted his head, his voice dripping with something between amusement and irritation at the audacity of this kid, "You're literally  _twenty steps_ from the kitchen, like I mean...the door to the kitchen is  _directly across_  from the bedroom door? Like... _you_  designed it that way just so you wouldn't have to go far when you wanted a snack!"

"So," Yuri huffed, not seeing his point, "I would have been forced to get up!"

Ryosuke rolled his eyes, shaking his head, but Yuri lifted up on his elbow, "Hold on now! I mean let's really discuss this–because I gave you a proper solution–have you even remotely considered my request?"

Ryosuke couldn't stop the scoffing sound, shoving his shoulder with his free hand, "Yuri–we are  _not_ getting a babysitter."

"I don't want a  _babysitter_!" Yuri snapped, rolling his eyes, "I want someone to take care of me!"

"That is, by its very definition, called a  _babysitter_!," Ryosuke corrected him.

"I don't really see what the issue is, honestly! I just want someone to get me food when I'm hungry," Yuri's bottom lip poked out a bit, his brows drawing down, "I don't need a babysitter."

Ryosuke's hand ruffled his hair as he offered him the apple with his other hand. Yuri's eyes lit up, grabbing the apple eagerly, biting into it instantly.

"You're such a mess," Ryosuke admitted, his fingers moving through his hair affectionately.

" _Your fault_ ," the words were muffled from Yuri's mouth full of apple but Ryosuke had no trouble understanding them.

"I suppose," Ryosuke laughed softly, not really caring at all about how spoiled Yuri was, and knowing full well it most definitely was all his fault.

"We should probably eat some real food though," Ryosuke mused, glancing at his watch, his mind going back to the flyer he'd read from the mail.

Yuri had taken another bite of the apple, sitting up as he swallowed, "I'm hungry!"

He took another bite of the apple, speaking around it as he chewed, "I don't want to go out, can we just do take out?"

"Really? Take out again?" Ryosuke shook his head, "I really thought we could go out for dinner tonight, to that little place on the corner."

Yuri tilted his head, and Ryosuke could see the question forming in his mind, speaking quickly, "Yes, that does mean you'll actually have to get dressed today, Chiisana–I  _promise_  you'll be okay."

Yuri huffed as he watched Ryosuke shifting down, pushing the stool away with his feet so he could throw his legs off the couch, glancing back to look at Yuri who was scowling.

"You're fine," Ryosuke shoved his knee lightly, "I worked all day, and I want to go out to dinner, go get dressed,  _you slacker_."

Yuri laughed loudly, kicking his behind with his foot as he stood up, causing Ryosuke to shuffle forward, turning back around to grab the half eaten apple out of Yuri's hand and taking a big bite.

"Hey! I was eating that!" Yuri drew up on his knees trying to snatch the apple back, but Ryosuke just laughed as he chewed, holding the apple up above his head.

Ryosuke swallowed the bite quickly, watching Yuri getting more and more frustrated with the fact he couldn't reach the apple, grinning as he spoke, "Just ask nicely."

"I will  _not_ ," Yuri snapped, his fingers crawling across Ryosuke's ribs as he tried to tickle him, causing Ryosuke to shudder trying to not buckle under the sensation.

The air between them changed and Yuri blinked up at Ryosuke, the playful feeling falling away, as all he could see was Ryosuke was actually quite tired.

Yuri stopped moving his fingers, instead, stretching his arms around his waist to hug him tightly, resting his head on his chest.

Ryosuke hummed in satisfaction, leaning down to kiss Yuri's forehead when he'd lifted his head to look up at him.

"Thanks for doing all the stuff you do," Yuri whispered, his eyes sincere.

"Shut up," Ryosuke shook his head, "Don't do that."

"Whatever," Yuri shrugged, knowing Ryosuke knew exactly what he was thinking, "You'll have to ask nicely."

Ryosuke couldn't help but laugh at how smoothly Yuri could turn things around on him, "Is that so?"

"Yep!" Yuri nodded.

"Chiisana," Ryosuke's free hand moved to brush the back of his fingertips across Yuri's cheek, "Will you go out to dinner with me tonight?"

Yuri blinked up at him, then smiled, nodding before he leaned up to kiss him quickly, drawing back, his voice dramatic, "I thought you'd never ask."

"Sure, sure," Ryosuke laughed, stepping to the side when Yuri shifted to stand up so he could go get dressed, slapping his behind with a pop, causing Yuri to squeal as he scurried away.

Ryosuke sat down once Yuri had moved around the couch, turning his head to glance at him with a wry grin playing on his lips, voice playful, "I mean, since you don't have  _anything else_  to do."

"I resemble that remark," Yuri admitted playfully, stopping as he stared at Ryosuke, pretending to be very put out, "It's a good thing you're cute, otherwise I'd only love you for your money and ability to provide me food."

"Pfft, you'd love me even if I were hideous and a pauper and you know it," Ryosuke grinned, smiling at Yuri knowingly, "And of course, I love you," he gestured, rolling his hand in the air, "Now, go get dressed, I'm starving! You even ate almost all of my apple!"

"First, yes, second, I love you, too, and third–you  _wanted_  me to have that apple, and you know it!" Yuri corrected him as he opened the closet door, "...you knew I'd eat it when you brought it into the room."

Ryosuke shrugged as he disappeared into the closet, because, after all, he did know that, so he wasn't surprised that Yuri knew it too.

As a matter of common knowledge, most of the time it seemed to him that Yuri knew him far better than he even knew himself.

In fact, now that he'd begun thinking about it...the flyer to the restaurant was sitting rather conspicuously on top of the mail...he glanced up at Yuri who walked out of the closet, dressed _far too quickly_  by his estimation.

Ryosuke stood up, dropping the apple into the garbage as he moved around the couch, "This was your devious plan all along..."

Yuri grinned, his cheeks pinked and his eyes glittering with amusement, then shook his head, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure, sure," Ryosuke laughed, grabbing his hand as he drug him out of the room to take him to dinner. 

He knew better and so did Yuri.

 


	14. Resident Expert (Christmas Celebration, 12-1-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please note: content is NSFW, Rated NC-17 for language and explicit sexual content
> 
> A fill for a dialogue request on my Tumblr: 
> 
> “I know you haven’t done anything, but can you please stop looking so fucking kissable, my parents are here.” (Fluff/nsfw if possible♡) 
> 
> Part 11 Resident Expert (Christmas Celebration with family at their home, December 1, 2017)

 

 

 

 

## 

 

* * *

They were throwing their very first house party.

The idea begun during a rare lazy morning of cuddling when they both managed to have a day off together–mulling over the fact that they never had anyone over, surprised at the months that had passed without them even considering such a thing. Yuri wrapped up in Ryosuke’s arms, head on his chest–his fingers twisted into the hair at the side of his face as he tilted his head up to determine if Ryosuke was serious about this plan–they’d both agreed, that they _needed_ to do this.

Apart from Keito, who pretty much had his own room–no one else had been by to visit.

_Mostly_ because they didn’t know where they lived.

Honestly, it wasn’t on purpose. Or at least if it was neither of them realized they were staying closely guarded and cocooned in their perfected nest–away from prying eyes, and somehow the few months in their new home seemed to pass quickly thanks to their busy schedules and the relaxed, peaceful atmosphere they’d created within the walls.

In all fairness, they had earned the right to solitude and to be singularly focused on one another after so many years of chaos, secrecy, and challenges that others would never truly understand. So, even though they didn’t intend to be standoffish about sharing their time and space with others–they had no guilt about taking a beat to just be still in the contentment they both felt.

Of course, their schedules remained one of the primary issues to any plan they could make–but at the same time, both of them had a level of uncertainty about doing something like this–after all, it somehow felt to them that the expectations were suddenly different. In this thinking, it surely felt to them that they were somewhat unseasoned in this aspect of life together. Neither of them were especially socially adept people, and when you went to other’s homes there was an easy solution to feeling uncomfortable or out of place–you could leave when you were ready.

Not so if you were the hosts.

Still, ever since moving into their penthouse, the one they’d managed to work together to create plans for and have built without actually killing one another–well, they just hadn’t gathered up enough courage to invite people into their home.

Not until that warm, cuddly moment, filled with lingering kisses and a sincere promise from Yuri–that he would most certainly see to every detail and Ryosuke wouldn’t have to worry about a single thing, they’d both agreed that they’d kept their home a secret for far too long. After all, they’d survived building it–and now they had this amazingly gorgeous home, yet, had never shared it with others, not even those closest to them. In fact, they’d reasoned, what was the point to having something you loved as much as they loved their home if you kept it hidden away from everyone who mattered at all to you.

They wanted their first event to be fun, festive, and to be light-hearted–so it wasn’t hard for them to settle on a Christmas party. Everyone loved the holiday and there would be lots of fun, built in entertainment that was part of the season, so they figured it would be a wonderful event to christen their home with their first party.

Yuto had designed the invitations with pictures that he’d taken of them from a fall session, names had been drawn for secret Santa gifts, they’d put up their first tree–which in and of itself became something of a big deal, as they had to decide the theme of the tree.

In a lot of ways, this was far worse than all of the decisions they had to make with the house. It was a point of contention between the two of them, until eventually, they settled on a tree decorated with pink and gold, the colors Yuri wanted–though this came with a stipulation that Ryosuke could do what he wanted apart from the tree.

Yuri hadn’t actually realized what he was bargaining for until he’d arrived home after work one day to discover Ryosuke had hung mistletoe in _every single doorway_ of their home. Yuri had feigned offense but in reality he thought it was really quite sweet–and had incidentally found himself walking slowly through the doorways in anticipation of Ryosuke catching him and delivering one of a thousand different kisses–sometimes the slow toe-curling type, sometimes playful and teasing, sometimes sensual and seductive, _always delightfully captivating_.

Once the tree had _finally_ been decided they settled on other decorations for the event, purchasing beautifully ornate dishes with red and green trim, gold place mats, and delicate glassware with red trim…they’d followed all of the checklists and had both been more than a little excited as the day grew closer and closer.

They were swept up in the holiday cheer, and found themselves more enthusiastic than they could have imagined that they were actually opening their home to guests. It wasn’t until it became real that they both realized how much they really wanted to be a little bit like normal couples were, whatever that might mean, they both felt really strongly that it meant not acting like they were forbidden or secret, something to be kept hidden out of sight.

They were, naturally, looking forward to having all of Jump over eventually, but, since they’d never done anything quite like this before, they’d both agreed it would be best to test their social skills on a safer bet, instead settling on both of their families before they did any bigger groups–so they’d invited their parents and siblings for their first ever dinner party.

Yuri had the day off work, though he did end up spending the early hours of the day trying to calm Ryosuke down when he’d been called at 6:00am with a request to do a round of talk shows to promote Fullmetal Alchemist which was opening in theaters that day. Ryosuke was livid–utterly inconsolable as he raged, pitching a holy fit over his manager allowing them to force him to come in when he’d specifically requested this day off, something he rarely ever did.

Given that he and Yuri had the same manager they had told him the truth about their relationship, something that he not only approved of, but promised to keep between the three of them.

The manager had certainly tried to sooth Ryosuke into the promotions, explaining that he had told them he was unavailable and that he could do promos before or after the first, but when it came down to it, they were all pretty much bound to do what they were told. He’d apologized profusely, but  ultimately he said the worst possible thing while trying to make Ryosuke feel better.

“At least this way you will just sit and talk about something you love, and you can leave all the hard work to Chinen.”

Yuri had to smile when Ryosuke had hissed sharply into the phone, his eyes flaming, “You know damn well that I would never push all of the responsibility of today off onto Yuri! It’s horrible! I can’t believe you let this happen!”

It made Yuri feel good that Ryosuke would fight for him, but he’d stepped in front of him, shaking his head, whispering softly, “Stop, it’s fine! _I can do it_ , trust me.”

Ryosuke had begrudgingly left the house in a flurry of curses, kisses, and promises to work as quickly as possible and to more than make up for the chaos–making absolutely certain that Yuri knew how much his willingness to take care of the details meant to him.

Of course, while Ryosuke was certainly upset over the idea that Yuri was going to have to handle all of the last minute details by himself, he was mostly upset because they’d planned it together–they were going to work together, and he’d really been looking forward to it. They didn’t get to spend all that much time together on projects, and this was something super special they were both committed to. He fully trusted Yuri with it, and knew well that he’d see to the details, he was just overly frustrated that he couldn’t be there with him.

Yuri spent the rest of the day going through their checklist, working on the items he was able to do early, sending pictures of his progress to Ryosuke who would generally send back a frowning selfie, a series of swear words, or yet another baseless threat for their manager.

As cute as Ryosuke was in his indignant attitude, Yuri couldn’t help but sincerely hope that he would be in a far better mood by the time they were ready for dinner that night. He trusted that he would be the consummate professional through out the day in front of the public and all of the staffs–but he was on the tail end of the “coming off the high” with him a multitude of times when he was emotionally raw from pretending to be okay when he wasn’t enough to know that there was a good chance he’d come home and fall apart.

Though, there was an equal chance that he’d arrive happy and excited as their family would be there and he had been so looking forward to it, all of the stress from the day might melt away instantly. Either way, Yuri had come up with an idea, a way to hedge his bets so to speak, so that in the off case Ryosuke carried some of the ill feelings home with him he could count on settling him down.

His day had begun with him calling in a number of favors. Through a network of contacts and helpful agencies, he’d managed to procure a bottle of Ryosuke’s favorite champagne, a stupidly rare type made in a winery in the United States.

_He’s going to be happy–no doubt about it!_

_Even if he wanted to be sour–this will sweeten him right up!_

Yuri didn’t really have a palate for the so called ‘finer’ tastes such as wines and champagnes, not minding them–but unable to tell a ten dollar bottle from a twenty thousand dollar one. Ryosuke, on the other hand, was rather a connoisseur of sorts and thoroughly enjoyed them, though it was normally a single glass offered by a dignitary or such, not an entire bottle delivered to his home by a courier–something he had to pay for special insurance to have happen even after paying the price he had for the bottle.

He knew it might be insane to spend such an exorbitant amount of money on a single bottle of champagne, enough to buy a car probably, though he had little understanding of such matters–still, he knew that it might be the difference between a happy memory or a bad one.

_The first memory of family in our home on the holidays?_

_There’s no way I’m taking a chance on it not being perfect for him._

He was determined that this would be nothing but a beautifully delightful memory–and since he couldn’t do the job for Ryosuke today–he could do this.

So, he intended to put a glass filled with the champagne in his hand the moment he arrived home and keep it full for the first hour at least–loosen him up and make him mellow so he wouldn’t make the whole party serious–just in case he carried the stress of the day home with him.

Once he’d finished all of the preparations he could–dealing with deliveries, caterers, florists, and such–he took a deep breath, inspecting the house, checking the list and then glad to be able to take a hot shower. Afterward he felt excited as he pulled on his soft, worn beige corduroy pants, tucking his white button-up into it, raising the suspenders up to his shoulders, glancing in the floor length mirror and smiling, because he knew that this was something Ryosuke loved for him to wear. He hardly did wear it though, bothered by the whole feel of the outfit, but he had set out with intentions today, and he was determined to see to them.

He grabbed his favorite sweater, the one Ryosuke had bought him several years before while they were on holiday, sliding it on, moving through the house to look over the last minute details. He’d set the fireplace up with a warm fire, dimmed the lights, lighting the candles…he had done everything he could to make it all perfect for everyone– _most especially, Ryosuke_.

As everyone arrived he’d shown them around the main part of the house, intent on Ryosuke being with him when he’d take them on the full tour–as he knew that he’d sincerely want to be there with him for that. Since none of them apart from their sisters had been inside since they’d moved in, he was thrilled as he walked them around, revealing to them all the features of the amazing home, eagerly sharing all the details he dared about the exquisite gift Ryosuke had given him. They ended in the living room, where lively talk and laughter filled the space, making the vast expanse of the room feel warm and comfortable.

_This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen._

He wasn’t looking at the view, no, as awe inspiring as it was, he was enthralled with the sight of their families together. His mom laughing about pictures on the wall with Ryosuke’s mom. Their father’s having a drink while talking about the view from the floor to ceiling rounded windows. Their sisters laughing and telling stories about work and life and everyone just seemed so happy.

He was so thankful that his family and Ryosuke’s got along so wonderfully, blessed really, and was pleased that their families felt so at home within _their home_ , joy and love flowing between the walls, and Yuri couldn’t have been happier, only if Ryosuke was there, only _then_ could he be happier.

Yuri had purposefully positioned himself by the hallway, somewhat outside of the family circled around the room, intent on at least a moment alone with Ryosuke to gauge his level of irritation before everyone else was accosting him, so when he heard the door swish open, he grabbed the glass of champagne he’d prepared off the sideboard, ducking quickly out of the room into the foyer before anyone else could notice.

Ryosuke was looking down as he shuffled out of his shoes while Yuri moved over to stand in front of him, grinning when he drew up to greet him, holding the biggest bouquet of flowers he’d ever seen in his entire life up between them.

“Chiisana,” Ryosuke’s voice was soft as he leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on his cheek, and Yuri heard the relief in the undertones, knowing he was glad to be home after all.

Yuri stared at the bouquet of flowers, his eyes confused, shaking his head, “The florist came at two and set all of the flowers out already so I do–”

“These aren’t for the party,” Ryosuke shushed him as he shifted forward, kissing him softly before he pressed the flowers into his hands, smoothly slipping the champagne glass from his fingers as he made the exchange, “They’re for _you_.”

“Oh,” Yuri blinked rapidly, his features painted with shock, and then looked down at the gorgeous flowers, “They…you…you bought me the flowers I saw…”

“I did,” Ryosuke smiled, he knew that it would be a surprise for Yuri, as he’d paid attention when they were at the florist making the arrangements for the flowers they wanted for tonight. Always attuned to Yuri no matter where they were or what they were doing, he didn’t miss the way Yuri was drawn to certain flowers, certain colors.

He’d called on break at work today, having to pay far more than he would have dreamed of to get the assortment of flowers in such a short time–the florist taking notes on the details he’d written down carefully from that day–and now he knew, it was completely worth it as he took in the beautiful expression on Yuri’s face, breathtaking in his wonder.

“I can’t…” his fingers drifted softly across the delicate flowers, his lips tense and Ryosuke knew if they didn’t have company, Yuri might even be brought to tears by the gesture, “Ryo-chan…these are all the ones…” Yuri lifted his eyes from the flowers, wide, filled with emotion, shaking his head lightly, “I can’t believe you did this.”

“There’s a card in there,” Ryosuke grinned, tilting his head at the bouquet before lifting the champagne flute to inhale the fragrance, his eyes popping open as Yuri smiled knowingly, their eyes connecting as Ryosuke whispered in awe, “Is this the…”

“It is,” Yuri confirmed, happiness flowing through him as he watched Ryosuke take a sip, his eyes widening impossibly further as he hummed in satisfaction when the flavorful bouquet swept through his mouth, the soft warmth spreading into his belly as he swallowed the first taste.

Ryosuke immediately leaned over top of the flowers, his free hand cupping Yuri’s head, drawing him forward as he took his lips with his own in a fiery kiss, feverish and consuming, the connection fast and frantic since he knew their families were waiting just beyond the hall, yet, despite the length of the kiss, it had been infused with the promise of so much more, the sweet taste of the champagne causing Yuri to lick his lips when he drew back.

_The only flavor of champagne I enjoy is the one I taste from his lips._

The thought rushed through Yuri’s mind, lost when Ryosuke’s hand stroked his cheek tenderly, “ _Thank you,_ ” the words were spoken so softly, like a caress on Yuri’s skin, infused with reverence, before Ryosuke drew back and Yuri looked into his eyes gentled with affection.

“I’d do anything for you,” Yuri admitted, and he saw the way the sentiment played across Ryosuke’s emotions, realizing that he was glad he’d acquired the champagne, because he could see it clearly, whatever today was it was certainly hard on him, and he could tell that Ryosuke was doing his best to leave all of it at the door.

_The champagne will help, no doubt about it._

Yuri pulled the flowers to the side, intent on just _one more kiss_ , a little promise of his own, and understood the moment that Ryosuke realized what he intended, his free hand grabbing his arm to pull him closer, when Ryosuke’s eyes shifted over his shoulder, his hand on his arm squeezing softly in apology.

“Hi mom!” Ryosuke’s voice was happy as he greeted her.

Yuri was always envious of Ryosuke’s ability to act, even in perfectly normal situations like this, as he instantly was ‘the doting son’, completely unaffected by the feelings that were thick in the air and still swirling around Yuri.

_At least externally–but I know the truth._

“I thought I heard you!” his mom smiled as she closed the distance, laughing softly as he pulled her into a  hug, kissing her cheek, her eyes widening when she saw the flowers Yuri was holding, “Oh! Those are lovely!”

“They’re a gift from Ryosuke,” Yuri smiled, his cheeks feeling warm from the attention, from the admission.

His mom pulled back to look at him, “You’re such a good boy.”

Ryosuke blushed, taking another drink of the champagne to distract himself, because it was kind of embarrassing to have her commenting on his love life in such a casual manner, ducking his head, “Did Yuri give you guys a tour?”

“Yes, he did, at least a partial one–he said there were some parts you’d want to show us,” she responded, her arms wrapping around him, hugging him tightly, “Your home is beautiful, you did really good and I am so proud of you.”

Ryosuke hugged her back tightly with his free arm, releasing her when she pulled back, her arm flinging out toward Yuri, her eyes soft and gentle when she looked at him, gesturing for him to come over to them, “I’m proud of _both_ of you!”

Yuri held the flowers to the side as he accepted the hug from Ryosuke’s mother, relishing in the affection, the acceptance, his eyes meeting Ryosuke’s, seeing his own feelings reflected back to him as his mother whispered softly, her voice wavering with emotion, “Thank you for taking care of my son.”

Yuri tipped his head down to kiss her forehead, smiling at her as she grinned up at him, “I am the one always being taken care of by your son, actually.”

“I know that’s what you like to make everyone believe,” she laughed, releasing the two boys, “…but a mom knows things, and I know this–you two are perfect for one another, because you both take care of each other, and I am grateful that Ryosuke has you.”

Yuri blushed at how blunt she was in her assessment, and he moved a fraction to the side when Ryosuke twisted his pinkie finger into his own for a moment before she laughed, gesturing for them, “Let’s go! Everyone’s been waiting!”

The boys nodded, and then she disappeared into the living room. Yuri reached over, tapping the glass to draw Ryosuke’s attention to it, “Drink.”

Ryosuke wasn’t sure why it was important that he do so, but he surely wasn’t going to complain about it, the taste was magnificent, so drinking the rest of the champagne would not be an issue for him, humming in satisfaction as he tipped the glass up, smiling as they stepped into the living room where everyone greeted Ryosuke.

Ryosuke looked at Yuri, tilting his head when he pressed another glass of champagne into his hand, taking the empty glass to sit on the sideboard, gesturing with a rolling hand to tell him to continue to enjoy the gift.

Ryosuke shrugged, lifting the glass to take another sip, pausing when Yuri’s dad said his name, “What were you working on today?”

Everyone turned their attention fully to Ryosuke to find out what his current project was.

“Full Metal Alchemist,” Ryosuke’s voice held an edge to it, something that maybe no one else heard, but that sent off alarms for Yuri, who took a step closer to him as he continued to talk, “…just had some promos to take care of today.”

“I thought you had today off,” Misaki asked, tilting her head in confusion.

Yuri’s head jerked to the side, watching as Ryosuke’s brows drew down, the glass of champagne paused just before his lips as he inhaled sharply with the clear intent of saying just exactly what he felt about having to go to work today.

Yuri reached over, his fingertips pressing against the bottom of the glass, pushing it forward until Ryosuke’s eyes snapped over to him, the rim of the glass hitting his lips.

Yuri subtly shook his head, pushing up on the glass bottom, forcing Ryosuke to take a drink of the champagne to stop his words from spilling out.

_Words he might regret saying in front of this particular audience._

Yuri held for a moment to ensure he was going to keep drinking the champagne, then turned to look at their family, answering in Ryosuke’s stead, “Something came up, but Ryosuke took care of it, as always, and everything worked out perfectly for tonight.”

Everyone nodded, understanding, and Ryosuke’s dad moved over to him, pulling him into a hug as he patted his back, “You done good, son.”

He knew he meant work, the house, his life…he understood because his dad had always told him how he felt and if he said he’d done good, he certainly knew he could trust that to be true.

“Thanks, Dad,” Ryosuke gestured around the room, “I’m so glad all of you came.”

“Of course,” his dad answered, releasing him to go back to talking to the others, his sisters drifting over to greet him, as the room picked up the ongoing conversations again.

“Where did those come from?” Misaki asked, pointing to the bouquet Yuri was  holding.

“Ryosuke brought them for me,” Yuri felt the heat on his cheeks again, not sure why he found this more embarrassing than showing them around his home, which included showing them their bedroom.

“Damn,” Chihiro hissed, her eyes landing on Ryosuke, “What did you do to him to have to buy him flowers like that?!”

“Shut up!” Ryosuke shoved her with his shoulder, “I didn’t do anything, it’s not like that.”

“When _isn’t_ it like that?” Misaki asked, glancing between the two boys and then sideways at her fiance, frowning, “That’s the only way I get flowers!”

Her fiance shrugged, not knowing what to say before he quickly moved to sit down with Chihiro’s husband, realizing he really didn’t need to be involved in that situation, at all.

Ryosuke watched the man leave, and then turned to Misaki, “For your information, they were to say _thank you_ ,” shaking his head at her, “ _Not_ an apology.”

The other members of the family had thankfully gravitated further away to the windows where they were engaged in a lively discussion about the view, because Ryosuke couldn’t control his response, his mouth popping open when Chihiro leaned over to whisper in his ear, “I can’t imagine what exactly it was that he did that deserves such extravagant thank you, but maybe I need some lessons.”

“The hell, Chi?” Ryosuke sputtered, his eyes wide as he stared at her, “I can’t beli–”

“Oh, calm down,” Chihiro laughed softly, patting his arm affectionately, “I’m just  messing with you…but really though…”

When Ryosuke’s mouth fell open she burst out laughing, “Seriously, I’m kidding.”

“Mostly,” Misaki muttered, laughing when Ryosuke shook his head at her, swearing again under his breath at both of his sister’s behavior, his eyes catching Yuri’s who had clearly understood the interaction, smiling with the little curved grin that Ryosuke loved the most, causing his heart to beat heavy in his chest.

_I love him._

_I hate when he smiles like that and I can’t kiss him._

_Such a tease._

Ryosuke blinked slowly, knowing full well that Yuri could read his mind, then tipped his head at the flowers again. Yuri turned to ask Misaki to hold the flowers for him, which she was happy to do, taking them from his hands smelling deeply into the bouquet as Yuri drew the card out, opening it, his smile wide when he saw the gift card to his favorite electronic store tucked into the envelope, winking at Ryosuke as he spoke, “You win _all the things_.”

Ryosuke nodded triumphantly, “ _Of course_ I do.”

Saya had finally disengaged from their moms, moving over to where the four were standing, finding out about the flowers from Misaki, and then leaning across Yuri’s shoulder her eyes reading the words in the card.

Ryosuke felt his cheeks flame, hot and bright as she read the words out loud.

“Chiisana–Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice–thank you for choosing me. I love you with all that I am. Forever yours, Ryo,” her eyes shifted to stare at Ryosuke who wanted the room to swallow him at how everyone was staring at him.

“Damn, bro has _game_ ,” Misaki whispered in awe, reaching over to grab the card from Yuri’s fingertips to confirm those words were really the ones written there before she handed it back to him.

Ryosuke bit back his desire to tell her to be quiet, never really able to treat her the way he did Chihiro, but still, did she have to say such embarrassing things?

_While our parents are in the room with us?_

“Seriously,” Chihiro nodded, her eyes studying Ryosuke in a new light, “That’s…A+ game…”

The girls all burst into laughter when Saya shook her head, shoving Yuri with her hip as she complained, “Why did _you_ have to find him first?”

Yuri’s eyes flashed to Ryosuke’s apologetically, snapping at Saya, “You’re not his _type_.”

“Have you asked _him_ that?” Saya tilted her head, her eyebrows raised, looking uncomfortably like Yuri in that moment to Ryosuke who didn’t like the question, didn’t like the comparison, and didn’t like that he’d never even thought about reassuring Yuri about this.

He knew that Saya didn’t actually mean it, and that it was just a joke, but when he looked at Yuri he felt his heart clench.

Ryosuke, immediately forgot about embarrassment, about worry, because all that mattered was that there was suddenly a concern he’d never seen before on Yuri’s face, his eyes uncertain as he turned to look back at him, as if he’d never wondered about such a thing in his life.

_Why would he?_

Of course, he’d never had any need to because Ryosuke never made him feel anything other than loved. Despite knowing that the idea would be dismissed by Yuri nearly immediately, because he wasn’t some insecure school boy now, rather, he was in a fully committed relationship after all, and Ryosuke had done more than an average person to confirm his love, affection, and adoration for him day after day–Ryosuke was not content to just let the idea rest without clearing the matter up without prejudice.

He spoke firmly, his voice earnest, “Saya, honestly, I only have _one_ type–the _only type_ I have is your brother. There is _no other type_ in the world for me, except the _Chinen Yuri type_.”

“You guys are the cutest, knock it off,” Misaki ordered, smiling as she observed them.

Yuri’s cheeks tinged pink and he ducked his head in embarrassment, but Ryosuke saw the way his eyes were twinkling, glad he’d spoken up.

He laughed softly, shaking his head at Misaki, then his eyes landed on Saya who was smiling brilliantly, “It was a test, you passed,” she shrugged, her lips twisted up as if she were in deep thought, “You know, too bad you guys can’t make babies–they’d be gorgeous.”

“What the heck, Saya!” Yuri hissed, taking the flowers back from Misaki carefully, eyes narrowed at his sister, “This is _exactly_ why we don’t have the three of you here all the time, seriously!”

Saya just shrugged, not particularly worried about her brother’s response, looking to Ryosuke’s sisters in expectation.

“I agree, their children would be masterpieces–it’s a shame science hasn’t been able to make this happen yet,” Misaki commented, her eyes looking between the two boys.

Chihiro hummed softly, speaking up, “They’d definitely be gorgeous, you know, they’d have to have two children, so each of them could be biologically a father–I read in this magazine about surrogacy and they’d be able to use the same donor for the eggs so they’d be siblings in reality with different fathers, so it’s like half-siblings or whatever.”

“Right, right,” Saya nodded, and the girls launched into a legitimate conversation on the topic.

Ryosuke’s eyes shifted over their heads to catch Yuri’s and for a moment it was like nothing else existed except the two of them–both of them amazed that their families had clearly thought about this and didn’t think it was insane–they actually sounded excited about the possibility.

That there existed such a level of acceptance of them, of their love for each other, that no one in that room had anything except love for the two of them was the most precious gift either of them could ever hope for.

_Nothing matters except that he knows how much I love him._

Ryosuke couldn’t care less about who was in the room, or who he needed to shove out of the way, he pressed around his sister to lean into Yuri, whispering in his ear, “I love you, you are all I want, all I need. No one else can compare, not even your sister, even if she looks freakishly like you.”

“I love you,” Yuri whispered in response, kissing Ryosuke’s cheek softly before he drew back, murmuring to the sisters, “I’m going to put these flowers in a vase.”

The girls ignored him, too engrossed in their baby conversation, and then Ryosuke shrugged at him, raising his voice a bit so everyone would hear him, “I’m sure everyone’s hungry! I’m going to take a quick shower and then finish getting the food prepared and we’ll eat–probably about thirty minutes or so.”

After reassuring their mothers that they did not need help in the kitchen, they all finally went back to their conversations around the room. Yuri laughed, brushing past Ryosuke as he went into the kitchen to prepare the flowers and Ryosuke followed him to the doorway, glancing back into the living room, his heart swelling as he took in their families enjoying their time together, then turning down the hallway to shower and change his clothes.

Ryosuke rushed through his shower as quickly as he could, really wanting to be sure that he did the rest of the work now that he was home. So only a very few minutes had passed before he shuffled through the doorway, quite thankful to find Yuri still standing at the counter trimming the ends of the flowers and placing them in a vase.

Yuri glanced up, his hands freezing as his eyes flowed across Ryosuke’s form. He took in the smooth, black jeans, a heavy contrast to his favorite, over-sized beige sweater he’d put on, the very same sweater that always made Yuri long to press his face into his tummy for hours and be engulfed by the soft fabric and warm arms held within.

_God, he’s gorgeous._

He watched Ryosuke as he shuffled across the kitchen in his bare feet, moving past him, his fingertips grazing across his back and hip causing him to shudder, careful not to cut his finger off with the scissors in his distracted state. He stared at him as he began pulling the food the caterers had prepared for them to serve out of the ovens, and then from the fridge, covering the counter tops as he took inventory of everything, trying to make sure he hadn’t forgotten something.

“Did they leave a sauce for the pasta?” Ryosuke asked, turning toward Yuri, his gaze drifting up from where he was standing with his hands on his hips, his mouth twisted as he tried to remember if they were supplying that, his eyes latching onto Yuri’s where he stood frozen, eyes wide.

“What?” Ryosuke looked down, afraid he’d gotten something on his sweater, holding his arms out as he twisted, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Yuri drank him in, the way his skin was translucent and soft looking from the hot water, the soft shine of his hair, still a little damp, back to blonde for the premiere, something he loved.

_I am so hot for his blonde hair._

The way his tone of skin contrasted so beautifully with the cream colored sweater, the way his eyes were bright and slightly glazed from the two glasses of champagne he’d managed to get into him before he could freak out about work, his cheeks rosy from the warmth of the kitchen, and his lips were perfectly pink, delightfully plump and all he wanted to do was kiss them until they were both breathless.

Yuri growled, causing Ryosuke’s eyes to dart back to his, “What’s wrong?”

“Listen,” Yuri dropped the scissors onto the counter with a clatter, abandoning the flowers for a moment, glancing to make sure the doorway to the hall was closed, shifting quickly around the island that was separating them.

Ryosuke watched him, uncertain as he approached him, his behavior confusing, “Wh–Ree? Wha–”

“Just _listen_ ,” Yuri continued his voice soft but commanding, standing directly in front of Ryosuke, his head tilted up to look at him, “I _know_ you haven’t done anything, okay,” Yuri’s eyes shifted down to look at the sweater, “Well, _except_ put that _sweater_ on, which you damn well know drives me crazy.”

Ryosuke realized what was happening, mostly because Yuri had cursed, something he didn’t generally do unless he was feeling especially hot and bothered, his lips twisting into a smirk as he shifted forward to close the distance between them, his fingers sliding to grasp his hips.

“I mean, really…” Yuri huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically, “Just…can you please stop looking so fucking kissable, _my parents are here_.”

Laughter bubbled up from Ryosuke as he shook his head, “So are mine, _so what_?”

Yuri didn’t have time for a response, so quickly did Ryosuke move, grabbing him around the waist to drag him roughly into him, his head tilting down until his breath was warm on Yuri’s face, his eyes bright with affection, “ _Kiss me then_.”

“I _want_ to…but… _I shouldn’t_ ,” Yuri whispered, his eyes dancing with the thrill of being held so closely, euphoric at the way the control seemed to hang by a delicate balance between the two of them.

“No, what you _shouldn’t_ have done was to say _that word_ ,” Ryosuke stated, his voice laced with his best matter of fact attitude, his tone lowering to a whisper as he drew his arm up Yuri’s back, his fingers running through the hair at the edge of his sweater, twisting into the silky strands, the words heavy between them, “Now, stop wasting time and fucking kiss me.”

Ryosuke was a patient man, and Yuri well knew he’d keep him there in the middle of their kitchen as long as it took for him to cave in and do what he wanted him to do, not to mention the fact that of all of the things he did and did not want to do in the world, with Ryosuke’s sweet breath rushing across his skin, his fingertips biting into his hip where he held him around the waist, the gentle pull of his hair from the other hand, and his eyes filled with a heady combination of love and desire–well, all he _really_ wanted to do was to to kiss him.

When he closed the sliver of distance between them, it was as if a force of nature had been unleashed, instantly, Ryosuke had him backed up against the counter, his mouth insistent, his tongue dancing to the melody of his thrumming heart, and he felt himself breathless, Ryosuke’s hands gliding under his sweater. He inhaled sharply as his fingers touched the straps of the suspenders, breaking the kiss with a gasp, jerking back to look at them as he slid the sweater off Yuri’s shoulders.

“You fucking _tease_ ,” Ryosuke hissed, his mouth back on Yuri’s with an even greater hunger, his fingers sliding up Yuri’s chest to cradle his cheeks, causing him to groan, breaking the kiss, which only encouraged Ryosuke to wander with his mouth across his jaw to his neck.

“Ryosuke,” Yuri whimpered when Ryosuke nibbled on his earlobe, “We…they’re all…”

“Shh,” Ryosuke tired to shush him but Yuri gave him a gentle push, which just led to Ryosuke pressing even further forward, his body heavy and firm against his own, his mouth moving slowly across his neck to the other side.

“But…we have…” Yuri tried to think, realizing that the champagne might have been a good idea on one hand, to keep him soothed and silent about his work frustrations, but on the other, decidedly _lustful_ hand, it was most assuredly, in retrospect, a bad idea–as it had clearly amped up whatever desires Ryosuke was already feeling.

“Chiisana,” Ryosuke’s voice was soft, fluttering across his skin as he lifted his head to look at him, “ _They think I’m showering._ ”

Yuri considered this, then studied Ryosuke, realizing that he wasn’t _nearly_ as inebriated as he had thought, his eyes clear with certainty about what he’d said, and when he rolled his hips, making his intentions clear, Yuri pushed his shoulders back, “Not here.”

Ryosuke groaned, dropping his head onto his shoulder, “Why not?”

“There’s no lock on the door,” Yuri laughed softly, “I understand what you’re imagining, but there’s no way in hell I’m having my Mom walk into the kitchen with us doing whatever you have in mind.”

“Fuck…” Ryosuke hissed, inhaling sharply, as he took a step back, realizing that Yuri was correct, his hands running through his hair in agitation, “You’re right…”

“But…” Yuri grinned, grabbing Ryosuke’s hand and dragging him across the kitchen, toward the other door, “…if they think you’re in the shower…then…it should be okay if I were to let you know that food is ready and it’s time to _come_.”

The way he said the word left no room for misinterpretation, and Ryosuke had less than zero interest in anything other than getting to the bedroom and wasn’t surprised when Yuri closed and locked the door the moment they’d made it across the hall and inside.

He _was_ surprised, however, when Yuri had instantly turned, pushing him backward, pinning him up against the door, his lips and tongue and body seemingly everywhere, as Yuri’s hands moved his bulky sweater to reach underneath, his fingers grasping the fullness of his arousal through his jeans causing him to moan through the kiss.

His head hit the door as Yuri’s mouth traveled across his jaw and down his neck, and then without any preamble, he sank to his knees in front of him.

Yuri made quick work of Ryosuke’s belt, glancing up at Ryosuke who was staring down at him, wide eyed, shaking his head, his voice confused, “I was…but, I thought…”

Yuri ignored his addled state, figuring he had earned the right to be a little slow on the uptake since he had two glasses of champagne in less than ten minutes, he relished unbuttoning his jeans, slowly drawing the zipper downward as Ryosuke bit his lip, watching Yuri tug on his pants to loosen them enough to give him the prize he was seeking.  

“I said I wanted to _kiss you_ ,” Yuri’s voice was laced with seduction, his expression provocative as he released Ryosuke’s aching need, his hand wrapping around him, stroking him slowly, his eyes locked with Ryosuke’s, the sentiment matching the smirk on his face as he spoke, “I didn’t say _where_.”

Ryosuke groaned, cursing under his breath as the sensual words settled across his skin, his hands sliding through Yuri’s hair, grabbing onto him roughly as he stared up at him, his tongue peeking out slowly to taste him, sending tendrils of pleasure through Ryosuke’s body, humming softly before he leaned his head forward, drawing him more deeply into his mouth, his hand meeting his lips as he pressed forward.

Ryosuke tried to keep his body against the door, tried to not move but it was nearly impossible.

Whatever else the champagne had done, it had most certainly withdrawn his ability to think about his actions before he did them, unlike his normal behavior where he would carefully balance his mind so that he could draw out the pleasure, for himself, of course, but more importantly, and in particular, to ensure he could take care of Yuri…well, in this moment, his mind swirling under the influence of the alcohol he couldn’t seem to keep his thoughts sorted, couldn’t seem to bring his body into submission, and he whimpered, feeling overwhelmed by his lack of self control.

Yuri slowly drew his lips back, blinking up at him, continuing to use his hand to glide across the silky skin, as he shushed him softly, knowing full well what he was feeling, “You’re _fine_ ,” he soothed him, “Don’t be stupid and overthink right now.”

Ryosuke felt uncertain, his eyes glazed as he watched Yuri’s expression go from the gentle lover to one tinged with forthright desire and hunger, his eyes fixated on his lips as he slowly eased him back into his mouth, his tongue rolling around making him press his shoulders back into the door.

When he continued to move, intensity spreading quickly, Yuri lifted his eyes slowly up, slightly closed in gentled affection, humming softly to convey his request, Ryosuke couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t make himself argue, groaning as he nodded, breathless, “…kay…I’ll try…”

Yuri’s hand shifted up his hip to grab his other hand, their fingers entwining as his mouth and hand worked in perfect sync, his purpose one of speed, as he set a steady, yet fast pace that had Ryosuke’s legs trembling in less a minute, his fingers white as they held Yuri’s hand, the sensations rushing like a wildfire through his body.

Yuri knew that Ryosuke was close, his quickened breaths, the sounds that drove him crazy filling the room despite his teeth biting into his lip in an effort to stay quiet, and when he sped up, the push and pull, the consistency of the motion causing Ryosuke to succumb to the pleasure. Yuri could tell when it happened, so relieved, when he felt him surrender control, his hips pivoting off the door as his fingers tensed in his hair, urging him to not stop, pleading as he was so close, desperation causing him to beg, “Please, Yuri…p-please.”

Yuri understood, taking him in deeper, increasing his urgency, twisting his hand in the way he knew he loved, moaning as he felt his body go rigid for a moment, his arm moving around to pull him forward when Ryosuke jerked his hand loose from his. Yuri’s eyes lifting in approval, watching as he covered his mouth, doing his  best to remain quiet, his name spilling from his lips, muffled but clear, followed by a string of unintelligible words that were probably nothing more than a series of gasped expletives, as that was Ryosuke’s normal ‘go to’ response to his orgasm.

Ryosuke tugged on his hair, letting him know how close he was, always giving him the chance to withdraw–to which Yuri shoved him with his shoulder to make him stop worrying about moving him.

_Even after all this time, he’s still thinking of me. He always considers me, even when he should just be focused on himself._

_God, I love him so much._

Moments later, Yuri felt the distinct pleasure of satisfaction as the first warmth of Ryosuke’s release filled his mouth, his entire focus on the very idea that he was the only person in the universe that saw this–saw Ryosuke in the raw, unfiltered moments where he trusted him implicitly to take care of him, his breath hitched as he felt the spasms rocking his body.

Ryosuke’s fingers were clenching open and closed frantically in Yuri’s hair, lost in the swirling pleasure that was racing through his body, all of the world faded away, there was no house, no family, no party–just him, and just Yuri–there on his knees, his mouth doing wicked and wonderful things to him, his magically skilled hand drawing forth the expanse of his nearly overwhelming need–and then there was just the heat spiraling as the tension coiled deep inside–frenzied and intense in his abandoned inhibitions.

And then…he was hyper focused on Yuri below him–always so belligerent that he still offered to have him move away–and in that single moment, between the two of them was such intimacy as their eyes connected, something he wasn’t sure anyone could ever truly understand–his giving so freely, with such abandon, allowing himself to become so vulnerable, to offer him such an exquisite gift–eyes locked with his own–the way he knew what to do, how to do it–the way he didn’t shy away when he knew he was going to come, but instead pushed forward, enhancing every aspect of both the physical _and_ emotional release–faithfully guiding him through the ecstasy as only he could, as only he ever had, like it was as normal to him as breathing, then easing him down gently, slowly, tenderly.

_Such affection as I have never known–what could I have ever done to deserve someone so perfectly amazing?_

_I am so blessed.  
_

_I love him so much._

Yuri took care to get his clothes sorted as Ryosuke slumped against the door, his body loose and relaxed, reaching down to offer his hand to help him stand up, not letting go of him so he could draw him forward. Yuri groaned, his face pressing into Ryosuke’s sweater when Ryosuke’s hand shifted instantly to press against him, feeling how hard he’d made him, his other hand reaching down to lift his chin so he could see his face, his eyes begging.

Yuri pushed his hand away, drawing back, “We don’t have time for that.”

Ryosuke leaned forward, kissing him gently, his lips soft and supple, grinning when his tongue darted out, the taste of himself on Yuri’s lips probably as good as Yuri found the champagne, groaning in disappointment, “But…”

“Seriously,” Yuri laughed softly, shaking his head, “Tonight.”

“What about this then?” Ryosuke asked, kissing him in the maddening way that made his whole body tingle, his hand gliding up and down his length, teasing him.

“That will be gone the second I hear my Mom’s voice,” Yuri laughed, biting his lip for a moment as his eyes fluttered closed from the sensation of Ryosuke stroking him, then shaking his head, reaching beside Ryosuke to unlock the door, tilting his head toward the bathroom behind him, “Go get yourself sorted, splash some water on your face or something so it’s not obvious I just got you off, and then get your ass into the kitchen to help me feed our families.”

Ryosuke grinned, his hand sliding against him slowly, leaning his face next to his so he could whisper in his ear, “Okay, but tonight, I’m taking care of you.”

“ _Of course_ you are,” Yuri smiled when Ryosuke shifted back, taking in the playful light in his eyes, brushing his hand away as he reached to shove him so he could open the door, “Now go, and hurry, because I don’t want _your sisters_ asking me for advice if they realize what exactly we’ve been doing in here!”

“Ew! What the hell, Ree!” Ryosuke shook his head, his expression twisted in disgust, “Don’t say stuff like that!”

Yuri laughed lightly, opening the door and then turning before he left the room, “Well, I’ve already decided if either of them ask _me_ anything, I’m going to refer them to the _resident expert_.”

Ryosuke tilted his head, confused for a moment, his eyes widening when Yuri’s eyebrow slowly rose, looking pointedly at him, grinning, and Ryosuke sputtered, shaking his head as Yuri drew the door closed, rushing to jerk it open, hissing across the hallway, “I will fucking kick your ass if you tell them something like that!”

“Pfft,” Yuri didn’t even bother looking back at Ryosuke as he issued the threat, “You’re already so overwhelmingly flattered by the fact I’m conceding to your expertise on the matter to even _truly_ care if I tell them or not.”

Ryosuke’s mouth opened and closed and then he huffed, “You jerk.”

“You love me and you know it,” Yuri glanced back, winking at Ryosuke who nodded despite himself.

“I love you,” Ryosuke smiled when Yuri turned back, blowing a kiss, and then calling out “I love you, too–now GO!”

Ryosuke shook his head as he closed the door to go make absolutely sure, beyond any question of any sort, by anyone, at anytime, for the rest of the evening, maybe the rest of his life, to ensure that no one could tell what had just happened–because although he thought Yuri was _probably_ joking…

He was absolutely _not_ about to take any chances.


	15. You Have To Sleep Sometime & Coordinated (June 2018) (ft. Okajima)

June 1, 2018

Ryosuke had been the last one to arrive at the cabin after rehearsals, having stayed a little later to perfect a few of the moves he was struggling with. The other boys were all lounging around the living room–having already showered and looked to be utterly relaxed.

He was a little jealous. When they'd told them they were being taken on a trip–they'd all been excited–especially when they saw the place they'd be staying. Neighboring cabins for 7 and BEST–all the amenities and a view to die for.

That was great, but they'd spent a grand total of five point three seconds in the cabin as they'd done the ole bait and switch on them–made them think they were going on a nice little retreat–when in fact, they were going to their main choreographer's hometown because she was unable to travel thanks to her personal schedule.

"Whatever," Ryosuke huffed, not acknowledging the others as he walked through the room and down the hallway to the bathroom to take a shower.

He'd just stepped under the steaming stream of water, adjusting the curtain to hold in the heat, when someone knocked on the door.

"What?"

"Can we come in, I was going to trim Keito's hair," Yuri called out.

"Fine," Ryosuke shook his head, not particularly caring one way or the other as long as he got to stay in the shower until all of the hot water either melted away his stress or went cold–either way, "Just hurry up!"

He heard them open the door and come into the room, a flurry of noises as they prepared whatever it would take to do whatever they intended to do, Ryosuke just closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of the water, on the heat running down his shoulders, on the imagery of the stress flowing out of him into the water and down the drain.

"Don't cut my ear," Keito spoke softly, his voice laced with concern.

"I won't," Yuri responded tersely, "I'm not stupid."

"He didn't say you were stupid," Yuto shook his head, "He just remembers what you did to me–flashbacks from all the blood, I think."

"We're never  _not_  going to bring that up are we?"

"I needed thirty stitches," Yuto deadpanned.

"You needed  _twelve_ stitches," Yuri corrected him immediately, "AND I said I was sorry!"

"I stopped counting after ten, to be honest," Yuto shrugged, "Go on then."

"I'm not doing it while you watch me," Yuri raised an eyebrow.

"For fuck's sake!" Ryosuke cried out from within the shower, "Just cut his hair and get out!"

"Someone's a little snippy," Yuri bobbled his head back and forth, making a 'whatever' kind of face at the others who all muffled their laughter.

"You're ruining my shower with your stupid bickering, _just cut his hair and get out!_ "

"Fine, geez," Yuri turned, wetting the bottom of Keito's hair and then carefully trimming it...slowly, to be sure he didn't have any mishaps like before.

He sat the bits of hair he cut off on the counter, the entire time they spent talking about it taking far longer than the process itself.

"What a jerk!" Yuto mouthed to the mirror where Keito and Yuri were looking at him.

"Right?" Yuri agreed silently.

"C'mon guys?" Keito shrugged, his eyes imploring them to give Yama-chan a break–he'd worked really hard after all.

Yuto saw the plan forming, as it took root within Yuri because his entire countenance changed, slowly morphing from the seemingly innocent baby Chiibi they all knew into the devious mastermind who would rule the world if he ever channeled the energy into something useful.

Yuri gestured for Keito and Yuto to move toward the door, urging them to be quiet, as he leaned over and opened the lid to the toilet, rolling his hand as he pointed to the doorknob, imitating opening and closing it.

Keito was hoping to get out of the room before whatever was going to happen was going to happen but Yuto shoved him backward, shaking his head, and then he opened the door and closed it quickly.

Then they waited.

"Thank God," Ryosuke sighed, letting himself relax again...closing his eyes as he tilted his head down, letting the water flow against his tense muscles.

Yuri's smile grew wider, and Keito's frown deepened, Yuto began to tremble with nervous energy, nodding quickly for Yuri to do it.

Yuri dropped the hair into the toilet that he'd cut from Keito's hair, and then, slowly as if the whole world were meaning to stand still for this one single moment–he pushed the button and then darted across the room into Yuto's arms to catch him from slamming into the door.

There was exactly five seconds of silence before mass chaos ensued.

Ryosuke's eyes popped open when he heard the noise, his head jerking to the side, the word 'no' beginning to form on his lips but morphing into an ear piercing screech before he could finish it as the water instantly turned to ice.

"Jes–what th–fu–" a slurry of unfinished words flew into the air as he jerked forward trying to move away from the freezing water, his elbow slamming into the soap holder mounted on the wall of the shower, hitting his not-so-funny bone, causing him to scream louder, his foot skidding across the floor of the tub as he lost his balance, spinning around, his hands flailing every direction as he tried to regain his balance.

"I'm going to kill yo—" he careened off the side of the tub and spun outward toward the shower curtain, his hands grabbing onto it as he started to fall.

The curtain held...for three seconds, before the sound of the metal pole being stressed filled the air and the hooks that were holding it up began to snap one by one with a pop, Ryosuke's eyes clenched shut as he realized what was happening, his focus one of self-preservation so he couldn't hear the raucous laughter from the other side of the room as he was far too intent on not dying from either falling or the freezing water, or possibly both.

The last hook gave way and he tumbled over the edge of the tub, the curtain tangled around him as he narrowly missed the toilet, his feet still hanging on the edge of the tub, somehow having spun the shower head in the chaos which resulted in the water spattering onto him outside the tub at this point.

"I COULD HAVE DIED!" he screamed, his eyes blinking as he tried to access his body to ensure he hadn't broken anything.

He turned his head to see the three boys in a heaped mass on the floor, tears streaming down their faces as they tried to catch their breath from laughing so hard.

"WHAT THE HELL!? DON'T FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER!" 

This just made the three laugh harder, to which Ryosuke began to attempt to unwrap himself from the shower curtain, intent on inflicting bodily harm on all three of them when he managed to get to his feet.

The boys scrambled to stand up, rushing to get out of the bathroom before Ryosuke could get up, slamming the door shut and nearly knocking each other down as they attempted to get out of the house to go next door so that BEST could protect them from Ryosuke's wrath.

They had just reached the front door when Ryosuke flung the bathroom door open, bellowing down the hall, "YOU HAVE TO SLEEP SOMETIME! I'LL BE WAITING!"

And thus began the reason the other three members of 7 continue to this day to sleep in shifts when Ryosuke is with them.

 

 

June 4, 2018

Yuto and Keito forced Yuri to enter the cabin first, convinced that he would be afforded a level of protection from Ryosuke's wrath based on the their relationship alone.

Yuri tried to get away from them, his voice low, "He will torture me," he pushed between the two of them, but his size left him at a distinct disadvantage against their brute strength combined.

"Fine, fine!" Yuri hissed, slapping at their hands as they turned him toward the door, shoving him forward as he jerked away from them, "I'm going!"

"I don't know what you're afraid of," Keito whispered, "He loves you, he's going to do something horrible to me..."

"I'll protect you," Yuto murmured, grabbing Keito and dragging him into his side, kissing his cheek softly.

"Would you two shut the hell up?" Yuri snapped, twisting to glare at them, "I am trying to listen to see if he's waiting on the other side of the door!"

He turned back, pressing his ear against the door again, which made Yuto and Keito snicker because neither of them were convinced he would be able to hear much of anything over the sound of nature around them.

After a few minutes Yuto lost his patience, releasing Keito who blinked rapidly as he watched him shove Yuri out of the way, grabbing the doorknob and jerking the door open quickly as he ducked behind it.

Yuri screeched, scrambling to the side as Keito stood still, eyes wide as he froze in place.

When nothing happened after thirty seconds, Yuto leaned around the edge of the door, "Huh...he's not waiting..."

"Yo–you...you two..." Keito couldn't piece together his thoughts as they raced, "I would have died."

"Better you than me," Yuri shrugged as he crept slowly into the house.

Keito's eyes snapped over to Yuto, "You were going to let him do horrib–"

"I wasn't," Yuto's voice was soft and sweet, "I would have taken care of you, I was going to attack from behind!"

"You..." Keito seemed unconvinced, "You were going to..."

"Uh-huh," Yuto nodded, "I would have had the element of surprise while you distracted him."

"I see..." Keito wasn't entirely sure he did see but he trusted Yuto, "How about...you tell me the plan next time, 'kay?"

"I promise," Yuto grinned, grabbing his hand as he drug him toward the door, "Let's go."

They entered the dark cabin, the faint light from the moon casting shadows around the space, as they tiptoed quietly, closing the door carefully.

"Chii-chan?" Yuto whispered, his free hand waving in the darkness in front of him.

"You have your cellphone?" Yuto tugged on Keito's hand.

"Uh-uh," Keito whispered, "Sorry."

"Chii-chan?" Yuto tried again, "Where are you?"

Yuto squealed loudly when Yuri tapped his arm, "He's not in here."

"Oh my God!" Yuto screeched, causing Keito to jump and Yuri to slap his hand over his mouth, standing on his tippy-toes as Yuto continued to complain about him scaring him to death.

"Shhhh!!!" Yuri hissed, "He's in the house, just not in this room, you dummy!"

Yuto nodded his head, trying to talk but unable to thanks to the hands over his mouth.

Yuri released his hands, Yuto speaking quickly, "How do you know he's inside the house?"

They all blinked as Yuri lit up the light on his cellphone, casting it over by the door, "His shoes are by the door," Yuri shrugged, "There's too many insects and creepy things out there for him to leave without his shoes–in particular,  _frogs_."

Yuto hummed in understanding, "Should we..."

"Yeah," Yuri nodded, as they made their way slowly through the house, eliminating one by one the rooms until the last room was their bedroom, a relatively spacious room with bunk beds in it for the four of them.

"We could sleep in the living room," Keito suggested, gesturing down the hallway, "Since...Best said we couldn't stay over there..."

"You know I can't sleep on couches, it kills my back," Yuto pulled Keito's hand by his pinkie, "Don't worry, I won't make you handle this."

"Alright," Keito nodded, trusting him implicitly.

"Are you two done?" Yuri had been staring at them during the interaction, his patience nearing its limit, "...or should we go ahead and plan the wedding while we're waiting to die?"

"Wedding?" Keito's head drew back, and Yuto narrowed his eyes at Yuri.

"You're skating on thin ice, Chii-chan," Yuto snapped at him.

"What are you going to do ab–"

Before the words could come out of his mouth, Yuto had jumped forward, grabbing Yuri around his waist as he jerked the door open, throwing him into the room and then slamming the door shut, holding the knob as he leaned backward away from the door with all his weight while Yuri was freaking out inside the room trying to get back out of the room with all of his strength.

"You're a horrible human being," Keito crossed his arms, watching as Yuto wedged his feet against the edge of the wall to make sure he didn't lose his leverage.

"You'll thank me, trust me," Yuto smiled innocently, "Plus, you love me and you know it."

"I do..." Keito admitted, "But you're still a horrible human being."

"Well, that says more about you than it does me," Yuto shrugged, turning his attention back to the door and the silence from the other side.

Yuri had tried everything short of climbing the wall to get out of the room, but he knew it was impossible, Yuto was clearly not letting him out, and he was surely banking on his ability to sweet talk Ryosuke to save his life.

_That jerk._

Yuri froze when he heard Ryosuke's sleepy voice in the dark, "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Umm...where are you?" Yuri whispered, trying to gain his bearings in the dark room.

"In my bed," Ryosuke responded, sitting up on his elbows so he could look across the room at where Yuri was pressed up against the door like he was waiting for the firing squad, "What are you doing?"

"Are you mad?" Yuri's fingers clenched the doorknob, knowing it was futile but at least he'd try to get away.

"No," Ryosuke laughed softly, "I'm tired, get in here and go to bed already."

"Is this a trick?" Yuri tipped his chin up, his eyes adjusting to the dark finally.

"Wh–Chiisana–for the love of all things good and holy, get your ass in bed and tell those two dummies to do the same!"

"Huh," Yuri narrowed his eyes, confused because he knew that Ryosuke wasn't one to just give up so easily...and still, his voice was sincere, there was no hint of falseness within it.

He turned, tapping on the door, "He's fine, open the door."

"Should we believe him?" Keito whispered, stopping Yuto when he started to release the door.

"What?" Yuto asked, confused.

"What if...What if Yama-chan got to him, and it's a trick?"

"When did you start thinking so deviously?" Yuto's eyes were wide, then he grinned mischievously, "I like it!"

"Shut up!" Keito laughed shoving him with his hip, "I'm serious."

Yuto stood up, turning to face Keito as he smiled, "Oh, believe me, so am I."

He'd just taken a step forward when the door flew open, both of their heads turning to stare at Yuri who had a look on his face like he'd just taken a drink of something sour.

"GOD!" he threw his hands up, "Could you two just...not!"

Yuto laughed, walking into the room with Keito following him, "Listen, we put up with the two of you doing your weird mating dance for like eighteen years or something...so you can just simmer down about us."

"We've been married for three years," Ryosuke called out, "But we'll round up to eighteen."

"That's nice," Yuto shook his head as he made his way over to his bed, watching as Yuri stood up on the edge of his bed to reach the top bunk where Ryosuke was.

"Are you really not mad?" Yuri whispered softly.

"I'm not mad," Ryosuke confirmed, "Now...go to sleep."

"It feels like you're mad..."

"Ree," Ryosuke shifted backward until his back hit the wall, "I'm not mad, see?"

Yuri bounced once on the bed and then he'd swung himself up onto the top bunk, taking the proffered space that Ryosuke had made for him as he put his feet down under the covers, nestling in against his chest as he whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm glad you didn't die."

Yuto had his eyes narrowed, something feeling off...decidedly off about the entire situation, glancing to the side when Keito kissed his cheek before he began climbing up into his bunk, then waving him off as he tried to see into the top bunk across from them.

"Huh," he shook his head, confused as he sat down on the bottom bunk, reaching across the bed to grab the edge of the blanket, then patting the surface of the mattress in confusion.

"Wha...wait...what is..." 

"Where are my sheets?" Keito asked to no one in particular, "And...my blankets and pillows?"

Yuto twisted around, his hands flying across his bed and finding nothing, his eyes widening as he stood up, "What did you do, Ryosuke!?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ryosuke answered with a smile in his voice.

"Oh, I think you do!" Yuto snapped, storming across the room to flip on the light, everyone groaning and protesting as they covered their eyes.

Yuto blinked at his bed which had been stripped completely of everything, his eyes moving around the room looking for his bedding, "What did you do with it?"

He turned, moving toward the other side of the room to insist on Ryosuke telling him where his bedding was when he heard Ryosuke say 'NOW!' and he was suddenly bouncing backward as a pillow struck him with great force straight to the face.

Within seconds, another pillow had smacked him in the head, and he heard Keito screech from behind him, the bed making squeaking sounds as he tried to get down from the bunk.

There was a flurry of activity as pillows continued to fly, twisting his body, trying to avoid them, one of the couch cushions slamming into his head as he jerked sideways, "CHINEN! What the hell!"

He glanced back as a pillow flew across the space from behind him, finding Keito grabbing another pillow off the floor to launch toward the top bunk where Ryosuke and Yuri were sitting on an army's worth of ammunition in the form of every single pillow or pillow-like material within the cabin. Yuto was pretty sure Ryosuke had raided their luggage and spent the entire time they were next door tying all of their clothes into missiles.

"You guys are su–" another pillow slammed into his face, his his hands grabbing it as he instantly pulled back to throw it back at them, "–ch CHEATERS!"

He flung the pillow, dodging to the side to avoid the one that Ryosuke had just sent flailing through the air, his voice laced with humor, "No, we're coordinated!"

Yuto grabbed the desk chair, hiding behind it as a volley of pillows came crashing down around him, his fingers grabbing the edge of one desperately as he launched it back toward them.

"And I have to live with him," Yuri admitted as he threw another pillow at Yuto, "So...you know..."

" _And you love me_ ," Ryosuke finished, throwing a large cushion directly at Keito's head.

"Well, yes...there's that...I certainly do..." Yuri conceded leaning over to kiss Ryosuke quickly before they both were hit with pillows, bursting into laughter as they defended their fortress.


	16. Buzz Rhythm (July 27, 2018)

 A little drabble I did after seeing this program =)

Ryosuke thought everyone else had already left the dressing room to report to the stage for mic placement while he finished up tucking in his shirt, when Yuri's arms suddenly wrapped around him, squeezing him tightly as he lay his head on his back, "We have a serious problem."

"Eh?" Ryosuke turned his head trying to see Yuri but there was no hope for it.

He gingerly twisted in his arms until he was facing him, his arms sliding under Yuri's to pull him closer, tilting his head down to smile at Yuri who was now looking up at him, the corner of his mouth upturned in his sly, mischievous grin that Ryosuke knew all too well.

"Ah, _I see_ ," Ryosuke spoke softly before tilting his head as if he were honestly trying to consider the situation with great care, "Sounds serious, indeed–so, exactly what is this problem?"

He could tell Yuri was doing his best to school his expression, his eyebrows raising for a moment before he brought them back under control, "Well, I'm afraid it is going to be  _very difficult_  for me to perform properly today."

"Uh-huh," Ryosuke nodded, concentrating to keep his face straight and his voice concerned, "Why is that exactly?"

"The costumer's hate me," Yuri lamented, his bottom lip poking out.

"Oh, that's not good, what did they do to you? I'll speak with someone about it to make absolutely sure they never do whatever it is again!" Ryosuke bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing at how earnest Yuri was trying to be, especially when he shifted, snaking his arms under Ryosuke's.

Ryosuke's breath hitched, as Yuri's fingers ran across his waist under the jacket, tickling him, making his skin tingle, as his hands moved slowly down and around until he rest both of his palms on his backside, pulling Ryosuke forward against him, his eyes wide, "They dressed the guy I like in  _white pants_."

"You don't say?" Ryosuke tilted his head, leaning his face closer to Yuri until his nose gently grazed his.

"Yes, and it's such a distraction, because he looks really good in white pants, and I'm going to have a lot of trouble concentrating...it's a  _real problem_ ," Yuri somehow managed to keep a straight face and not smile through the dialogue.

"Hmm," Ryosuke nodded thoughtfully, "Well, I definitely should have a talk with someone, I'm not sure I'm okay with you looking at some other guy..."

Yuri laughed softly, shaking his head before blinking slowly, his eyes twinkling with affection, "Shut up, you dummy, you know it's you..."

Ryosuke smiled, closing the distance between them to press a tender kiss against Yuri's lips.

They froze when the door to the dressing room flung open, Hikaru walking into the room to retrieve his jacket he'd left laying on the chair, his eyes widening, throwing his hands up in the air, screeching, "OH MY GOD!"

Ryosuke and Yuri both stifled their laughter, not looking away from each other as Hikaru stormed across the room, muttering, "I swear to God I was so much happier when you two were hiding this from us," he stomped past them, turning his head and then waving his arm up and down, "I don't need to see this–that!"

The longer he looked the more flustered he became, finally, sputtering, "I–I don't ever–I never–need to see his hands–on your ass or you guys kis...just...GOD!"

He grabbed the jacket and without another word exited the room in a huff, slamming the door as Yuri and Ryosuke burst out into laughter, unable to work up even the smallest amount of shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Hikka did not respond to them that way because it was them, he'd be that way with anyone!
> 
> The gifs are used with permission from musicfeedsthesoul on Tumblr (THANK YOU!)


	17. Inside The Tent (August 2018) +Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to scroll all the way down for the bonus!

 

"Are the cameras gone?" Ryosuke whispered to the other three members in the tent with him, squinting in an effort to see the space around them after they'd turned off the lanterns–the truth was, he had zero trust at this point for any of the staffs and as far as he was concerned, they were definitely out to ruin him.

Or see to it he died of embarrassment.

Or something nefarious and evil.

Whatever it was, he wasn't taking anything for granted, tilting his head back, trying to see out of the tent, and then shifting to look around, his eyes starting to adjust to the moonlight filtering around them, making everything appear in shades of gray tones.

"I think so," Yuto whispered back, shifting his head up off the pillow and looking around cautiously.

Ryosuke lifted up when he heard Yuto's voice, sitting on his mattress as he twisted, squinting around the perimeter of the tent, on the look out for any of the staff, and not finding any he sighed in relief, flumping forward over onto his tummy, his head inches from Yuri's pillow.

"Hey you," he whispered, his voice full of affection, smiling when Yuri twisted onto his side to face him, his eyes finally adjusted enough to see him clearly.

" _Hey_   _you_ ," Yuri responded, his fingers reaching up, grazing his cheek softly before he slid his hand back to push Ryosuke's hair behind his ear, scowling, "Ew, your hair's gross."

Despite his declaration, Yuri's hand moved through his hair, twining between the strands at the base of Ryosuke's neck, then tugging on the hair there gently, smiling up at him.

"Shut up," Ryosuke laughed softly, swatting his hand away, then grabbing it before he could pull it away, holding it in his own, grinning as he spoke, "You  _stink_."

"Liar," Yuri scoffed, shaking his head, unable to keep the cheeky grin off his face, "You _like_  my man-smell."

"I most certainly do no–"

"Guys?" Yuto cleared his throat, sitting up to glare over at them, not sure he was in a place where he was prepared to hear the conversation they might be leading to.

They twisted their heads, laughing lightly, having forgotten that they were not alone, and then did their best to look contrite, muttering sorry.

"Is this  _normal_?" Kota asked his eyes fixed on the two boys across the tent from him, kicking Yuto's bed to get his attention.

"No," Yuto rolled his eyes, laughing softly, his voice low, "It's usually  _worse_."

"I can't imagine," Kota murmured, considering what could be  _worse_  than them flirting about dirty hair and body odor.

"Don't think about it too hard," Yuto laughed at Kota's expression.

"Hey," Yuri lifted up, pointing at Yuto, "If you had Keito in here you know exactly how it would be after two days of this insanity."

"I  _guess so_ ," Yuto twisted in his bed to try to see across the campsite to where he knew Keito was with the other members who didn't win the game. Part of him wished he'd lost just so he could be over there with him.

_Stupidhead._

"I'm actually intending to sleep here, so you guys just...try to...I dunno, keep it down to a dull roar, alright?" Kota whispered, shifting to roll over away from the others, biting his tongue to keep from blurting out something about how absurdly cute it was the way Yuri was twisted around to lay his head inside the pillow Ryosuke had made with his arms.

Kota never knew how much he'd appreciate their affection for each other until they'd finally admitted to the group their feelings for one another–of course, the fact that they'd been secretly married shocked even him, as he'd never thought either of them would be capable of keeping something like that a secret from the members–though, the truth was, once they knew they'd all thought it was rather stupid how many signs they'd missed.

_I'm glad they have each other, even if they're way too much sometimes._

"We'll be good," Yuri responded, blinking softly up at his husband, reaching up to grab the back of Ryosuke's head, whispering "shhh" as he drew his lips down for a tender kiss.

"Gah," Yuto thrashed against his mattress, flailing his arms and legs, frustrated and angry that he hadn't thought to throw the contest, knowing full well there wouldn't have been a remote chance of Keito winning it.

In all fairness, he couldn't know it for sure,  _but still..._

He rolled over to peer out into the darkness, whispering softly, " _Keito?_ "

" _Keeeiiitttoooo_ ," he tried to be quiet, yet loud enough to reach across the distance.

"For God's sake,  _just go get him!_ " Kota snapped, dragging the pillow over his head to try to block out all of the distracting sounds happening in the tent, as he was positively exhausted.

Yuto didn't wait for any futher permission, scrambling off of the mattress and rushing out of the tent.

Ryosuke and Yuri watched him leave, smiling, and then Yuri shifted, shoving Ryosuke back.

He understood, moving quickly back up onto his mattress as Yuri crawled up beside him, tucking his feet into the sleeping bag with his. Ryosuke laid sideways, putting his arm across the pillow and then opening his other arm for Yuri.

Yuri shifted sideways, wiggling backward into Ryosuke's embrace, smiling as his arms wrapped around him tightly, feeling contented when he heard the soft sigh in his ear from Ryosuke _finally_  relaxing.

They both glanced up at the noise outside, watching as Yuto held the tent flap open, grinning when Keito ducked his head and made his way in. Yuto followed in behind him and then they did their solid best to navigate getting onto the single mattress together. Despite the best of intentions, they were both rather tall, and with gangly arms and legs that just wouldn't be contained they were fighting a losing battle.

_Everyone wants to make fun of us for being the short ones, but there's some serious benefits, starting with the fact we both can fit on the mattress together._

After watching them falling all over the place for a few minutes, the mattress making loud squeaking and groaning noises constantly, Ryosuke couldn't stop his laugh when Yuto rolled right off the edge of the mattress onto the floor.

His laughter was quickly drown out by Yuri's cackling loudly at the two of them.

"Shut up!" Yuto snapped, glaring at them both, "You're gonna wake everyone up!"

"We're already awake you dummies!" Hikaru screamed from the other side of the camp, "Go to sleep!"

All four of them froze for a moment and then burst out laughing hysterically, startling and then turning their heads in unison, their eyes widening as Kota jerked straight up, twisting to glare at them, and then without a single word, grabbed his sleeping bag and pillow and trudged out of the tent in a huff.

The boys watched him go, barely containing their laughter until he'd made out of the tent, watching as he stomped over to the other members and threw himself down on the ground with them, his voice echoing outside, "GO TO SLEEP!"

They all tried their best to not laugh too loudly, as Yuto finagled Kota's empty mattress next to his own and then opened his sleeping bag so the two of them could use it as a blanket.

Ryosuke hummed softly as he watched their hands link together between the mattresses, glad that they had one another, his arms tightening around Yuri, feeling warmth suffuse through his heart at feeling so contented, so complete, so at home with him in his arms.

Yuri knew instinctively what Ryosuke was thinking, his fingers grasping his forearms as he wiggled back until there was no space between them, twisting a bit and lifting his head to ask for a kiss.

Ryosuke leaned down, pressing a soft, tender kiss on his lips, pulling back the smallest distance, "I love you."

"I love you," Yuri affirmed, smiling, "I'm really glad you won."

"I'm glad you won, too," Ryosuke nodded, and then tilted his head when Yuri grinned full of mischief.

"I mean, I can't imagine what kind of mood you'd be in if you'd been made to sleep out there and I was sleeping in here."

"First of all..." Ryosuke twisted his head down to bury his nose in Yuri's neck making him laugh from the ticklish feeling as he whispered, "I really love the way you assume that you would have won any game no matter what...and..."

"I love the way you want to pretend it's not true," Yuri interrupted him, twisting so he could be sure he made out his rolling eyes, "But go on..."

Ryosuke huffed, shaking his head before he continued, "Second of all, don't try to say you wouldn't have come to get me," Ryosuke squeezed him tightly causing him to squeal.

"Alright, alright," Yuri laughed softly, "I  _would have_ but still...I'm glad you're here fair and square."

" _Fair_ has nothing to do with it," Ryosuke smiled, nuzzling against his cheek, "I just didn't want to sleep without you again, so I was going to win no matter what."

"I think it was rigged, I think everyone lost on purpose," Yuri admitted, his fingers moving through Ryosuke's hair to pull him closer, "They all knew how utterly impossible you'd be to deal with tonight, and even worse than that–what a completely foul beast you'd be in the morning."

"I have  _no idea_ what you mean..." Ryosuke feigned innocence, despite them both knowing the truth of the matter, doing his best to keep a straight face.

"Really?" Yuri twisted, his fingers kneading the base of Ryosuke's neck, causing him to hum softly as he smiled up at him, "Do I need to mention how many times you full scale lost it today? Camping really makes you hair-trigger constantly–I honestly had no idea..."

"I mean...I guess...we've never camped before...so..." Ryosuke blinked, "But wait... _I'm not_..."

"Daiki?"

"Fine...okay I mean  _one time_..."

"Inoo?"

"Well, _I mean_..."

"Ryo-chan..."

"Fine, whatever, I think I am dehydrated and suffering from heat exhaustion and too much sunlight and too many bugs and too much manual labor..."

"You poor thing," Yuri hummed softly, turning back around to snuggle into his arms, "I shudder to imagine what you would be if you weren't an idol."

"Pfft," Ryosuke scoffed, "What  _I_  would be...how about  _you_?"

"I  _know_  what I'd be," Yuri pulled Ryosuke's hand forward, tucking it under his arm.

"What's that?"

" _Yours._ "

"Listen," Yuto sat up quickly causing both boys to freeze, "I'm sure I can speak for myself and Keito," he glanced over at Keito who was sound asleep, a soft snore sounding in the tent now that there was silence, causing Yuto to laugh lightly, "Well, okay...I can speak for myself, and say while I appreciate the sentiment of this whole... _thing_..." he rolled his hand at the two boys, "But...I'm gonna kill the two of you if you don't go to sleep–you know full well there's going to be some horrible thing they have planned for us at the butt-crack of dawn–so I mean..."

"Sure, sure," Ryosuke waved him off with his free hand, "We're shutting up now...go to sleep!"

Yuto smiled, and then nodded at him, tossing himself back down on the pillow and curling up onto his side, his hand reaching out to touch Keito's cheek before he drew his hand out from where he had it on top of the blanket, holding it in his own as he closed his eyes.

Only a few minutes passed before Ryosuke had to smile from the smooth pattern of Yuri's breathing having settled down into sleep, clearly exhausted, nothing was more endearing to him than the tiny little puffs of air that caused Yuri's lips to barely move, his face smooth and completely innocent in his sleep.

"Goodnight, Chiisana," Ryosuke whispered softly, pressing a gentle kiss against his temple before resting his head on the top of the pillow, smiling to himself at how truly blessed he was as he drifted off to sleep.

Bonus: DO NOT DO IT!

Chinen internally: Don't do it...don't do it...don't do it...

Chinen internally: It's a trick...I repeat...IT...IS...A...TRICK.

Chinen internally: I need to...I have to...I must...touch..the...hand...

Chinen internally: DO NOT DO IT.

Chinen internally: I MUST TOUCH THE HAND

Chinen internally: I AM TOUCHING THE HAND!!!!

Ryosuke internally: Evvvverrrryyyyytttiiiiimmmmeeeee...heh heh heh-eh

Chinen internally: I told you–you never get to touch the hand.

Chinen internally: I will make him pay for this.

OTP shenanigans.


	18. Secret (October 2018-->Day Before Trip To Qatar)

Musical Inspiration:  _Calling You_  by Blue October

The boys arrived separately to the studio, just in case there were eyes watching, though Yamamoto-san had told them it would be a closed photo session–neither of them were willing to take any chances at this point. The best they could do for each other was to never let their guard down–in particular after the chaos that rumors had created in both of their lives these last few months.

In truth, this was the last thing either of them wanted to to do on the day before Yuri would be leaving to fly out for his work overseas in Qatar–but the agency had sent a message first thing this morning ‘requesting’ they attend the shoot since it was a special request from Yamamoto-san who had been one of their most beloved photographers, not to mention a truly dear and beloved friend of theirs.

Ryosuke would have very likely refused, blowing the entire thing off at the risk of making the Jimusho angry but when he heard it was Sachiko-chan he couldn’t do it…instead, out of sheer aggravation and his inability to control his impulses, he’d misdirected his anger and randomly picked a fight with Yuri about something so stupid he couldn’t remember what it was now, his frustrations overflowing in a very volatile way that should never have happened. Now that he’d had time to clear his head, he sighed despondently as he pulled into the parking lot, pressing his head down onto his fists against the steering wheel in agitation.

They’d ended up in separate rooms at the office while getting their hair and makeup done, which was both good and bad–giving him time to consider how stupid he was, but alternately a horrible idea because it had given him so much time to consider how stupid he was. He hadn’t seen Yuri since they’d left the house a few hours before, so he’d not even had a chance to say he was sorry, not willing to do it via text–after all, he had the will to eviscerate him person, he certainly should have the courage to apologize in person as well.  

Setting aside the fact that the blow up wasn’t _completely_  intentional, there was no excuse for being so rediculously stupid…he knew that, but he wasn’t used to this, wasn’t used to letting him go. 

_I’m probably never going to handle this properly._

_I’m such an idiot._

It wasn’t that he had set out to cause the fight, but at the same time, he needed to hit something or yell or throw something, because he didn’t  _like_  it…didn’t like it  _at all_ …and yelling at Yuri was preferable to crying in front of him again.

_You fucking idiot._

_You freak out and yell at him instead of crying._

_Pretty damn sure he’d rather you have cried._

_Damn it._

He knew it was stupid, now that he was sitting here alone in his car he understood, he might not have set out to do it, but he let it happen anyway because he could  _still_ , even after all of these years, be so  _painfully oblivious_ to his own insecurities and feelings about Yuri that it was shocking.

_I don’t know how he puts up with me._

_He’s a freaking saint._

He jumped when the knock sounded on the window, jerking to the side to see Yuri standing there, having just been dropped off by his manager. He nodded, when their eyes met a flood of words rushing to his mouth, but he just swallowed hard, knowing they’d have to wait, they had work to do. He grabbed his bag and shuffled out of the car feeling awkward. 

Yuri pretended to look around the parking lot while he waited for him to finish gathering his stuff and then fell into step beside him as they approached the studio.

“I’m sorry,” Ryosuke whispered, his eyes focused forward, but Yuri glanced over at him, taking in his dejected posture, smiling despite himself, and wishing he could draw him into his arms and console him.

“S'alright,” Yuri murmured softly, sincerity painting his words, “I understand.”

“ _Don’t_ do that,” Ryosuke snapped, his head turning to look at Yuri as he opened the door, hissing the words between his teeth as he let Yuri walk through past him, “If I’m a stupid ass let me apologize for being one.”

Yuri just laughed, shaking his head before he tilted it close to Ryosuke’s ear, whispering softly enough the assistant who was approaching them wouldn’t hear, “Fine, stop picking fights with me so you have a way to be mad at me before I leave so you don’t have to be honest about your feelings…it’s a total dumb ass move, jerk!”

Ryosuke stifled a laugh at how quickly Yuri had managed to speak such a bold statement, yet, once again he found himself dumbfounded and surprised at how intuitive Yuri was, maybe not about everything in life, but about him? 

About them? 

Yeah, Yuri didn’t miss anything, and this situation was no exception in that he clearly understood more about what was happening within Ryosuke than he did himself.

Ryosuke had to avert his eyes as he watched Yuri instantly turn on the charm to speak to the assistant as she led them down the hallway to the dressing rooms, taking over the situation in a way that Ryosuke usually handled himself because Yuri was normally the quiet one…but again, he seemed to have this figured out even while Ryosuke was still struggling with it.

He glanced to the studio as they passed by it, surprised that there was no one there at all–in fact, now that he looked around, they appeared to be the only ones there.

_Weird._

_I guess she told the truth after all._

“So, just change into those outfits and meet us out in the studio! We won’t keep you long, you’re our only shoot for the day, and apparently she has a very clear vision for what she’s doing–so it shouldn’t be but about half an hour, at least that’s what she told me,” the assistant nodded, then stepped out of the room, closing the door so they could change.

Yuri moved into the changing stall that had his name written on the small chalkboard outside of it, not bothering to close the curtain, after all, he had nothing to hide from Ryosuke, yanking his shirt over his head so he could put on the outfit that was hanging there. He pulled the shirt off the hanger, glancing up when Ryosuke cleared his throat, pausing to study him as he was still standing there in the same place he’d been since they’d entered the room, looking rather lost.

“What’s wrong with you?” Yuri asked, tilting his head as he tried to read him.

“I’m  _sorry_ ,” Ryosuke whispered, his voice rough with emotion, dropping his bag on the floor and rushing forward, sweeping Yuri up into his embrace, his arms trapped under Ryosuke’s firm ones, his face buried against his neck as he squeezed him so hard he could hardly breathe, “I’m _really_  sorry.”

Yuri grunted quietly, unable to form a word as he was sincerely struggling to take a breath, something Ryosuke must have realized as he loosened his grip, laughing softly, “Sorry…sorry…”

“Ryo-chan,” Yuri whispered, his fingers smoothing across his abdomen to grasp his hips, tilting his head to press a soft, tender kiss against his cheek, “I understand what is happening, so calm down.”

“You shouldn’t have to _understand_ ,” Ryosuke shuddered, his body shaking under Yuri’s touch, “I should be a grown ass man…I mean I actually _am_  a damn grown ass man…I just…I tend to…handle these kind of things…”

“Like a  _toddler_ ,” Yuri finished his thought, smiling against his skin, “ _I know_ , it’s okay.”

“You’re too good for me,” Ryosuke smiled against his neck, pressing his lips against his pulse point, wishing even still they were both at home, holding each other as they spent a lazy morning, waking up one another with soft whispers and tender touches instead of a rude message from the agency forcing them to leave home on such an emotionally volatile day.

“Pfft,” Yuri rolled his eyes, nudging Ryosuke’s stomach with his hands, “You know that’s not true.”

Ryosuke drew back, his voice soft, “I know, but… _sometimes_  it is.”

“ _Never_ ,” Yuri whispered, smiling, “We just take turns, right?

“I  _suppose_ ,” Ryosuke laughed softly, weak in the knees when Yuri’s fingers drew against his shoulder, twining through the hair at the nape of his neck harshly as he pulled him down to a reconciliatory kiss, then shoved him back as he admonished him, “Get your pretty ass over there and get dressed so we can go  _home_ , Mr. Yamada,” he raised his eyebrows up and down, teasing him, “I have plans for you this evening.”

Ryosuke growled, yanking him back forward by his belt buckles into a searing kiss before he released him, laughing lightly as he watched the dizzy way Yuri was swaying before he raised an eyebrow, his voice dripping with seduction, “Wrong,  _Mr. Yamada_ , I have plans for  _YOU_  this evening.”

“Sounds good,” Yuri’s eyes twinkled in delight as he pulled the white t-shirt on, “Let’s do  _that_  then.”

Ryosuke stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before he laughed loudly, never prepared for the way Yuri’s sly mind worked and how easily he manipulated situations to get what he wanted.

_Whatever…all I want is to give him whatever he wants anyway._

“You’re positively evil,” Ryosuke shook his head, moving to his stall to get dressed.

“You love me and you know it,” Yuri called out, pulling on the pants, then sitting down to put on the shoes.

“I absolutely do,” Ryosuke admitted simply from the other side of the wall.

After a few minutes, they’d finished getting dressed the walked out to the dressing room and then laughed when they saw one another, glancing down and then back at the other when they realized they were dressed in matching outfits, every detail the same, including their shoes.

“Huh,” Yuri laughed, shrugging, “The assistant did say she had a vision, right?”

Ryosuke nodded, “She did indeed,” he mused, opening the door and gesturing for Yuri to go in front of him, heading to the studio stage, careful to keep a proper distance between them because they didn’t know this assistant after all.

“Ryo-chan! Yuri-chan!” the photographer squealed, rushing over to drag them both into a hug, causing both of the boys to laugh as she rushed into a commentary of ‘mothering’ them, gushing about their accomplishments and carefully adjusting their hair from her mussing it up.

“You look like you’ve finally gained some weight, Yuri!” she smiled in approval.

“Ryosuke has been making me work out three times a week,” Yuri admitted, causing her to nod, “It’s good to see you Yamamoto-san.”

She tilted her head for a moment, her expression quizzical at being addressed so formally, mumbling absently, “Yamamoto-san…” and then she laughed loudly, startling both of the boys, “Oh!  _You’re worried about Kiko_?”

She turned, gesturing to the girl who was busy with setting filters on the lights, “Kiko! Please–meet my babies, Ryosuke and Yuri!”

“We met,” Kiko reminded her, “I showed them in.”

“Right, I know, but they think you’re  _worrisome_ …”

“Oh… _ohhhhh_ ,” the girl nodded, waving her hand in the air, “I know the truth, you two have nothing to fear–I’m her niece…she could destroy me with the material she has to blackmail me with.”

The girl shrugged, “Plus, I hardcore ship it, so you know…there’s that.”

The boys laughed at the blunt admission and Ryosuke finally released the breath he’d felt like he’d been holding, taking a moment to actually hug the photographer again, “Sachiko-chan, it’s so good to see you.”

“ _That’s better_ ,” she responded, hugging him tightly, “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you two since your anniversary picture session!”

“We’ve been busy,” Yuri responded, smiling at her excitement.

“ _He’s_  been busy,” Ryosuke corrected, gesturing at Yuri with his thumb, wanting to brag on his husband as it was rare to just be able to speak freely to anyone apart from the other members who clearly mostly ignored him or their families who already knew everything, relishing in the opportunity to shine a light on him, feeling so proud of his achievements, “He’s even going overseas for work now!”

“ _Actually_ , I knew about that,” Sachiko admitted, tilting her head down to avert her eyes, “I should apologize right now for calling you two in today, I know it’s the last day for you before he leaves. It’s really very selfish of me.”

Ryosuke struggled to understand what she was saying, blinking rapidly as he tried to make sense of it.

“I just… _I really wanted to capture this_ …ah…just…can we please just do this, and then I promise that you guys can go home and have a blissful rest of your day together.”

Ryosuke felt sorry for her, having to apologize for doing her job, though he was curious about the phrasing, because it almost sounded to him like she was doing this for her own purpose and not for the magazines she worked for.

Before he could consider it any further, she rushed off to the stage, calling for them to follow.

“Yama-chan,” she gestured to the left side of the glass wall that was erected on the middle of the stage, “You’re going to sit on that side of the glass, and Yuri,” she glanced over at him, then pointed to the other side, “You’re there.”

“Okay,” Ryosuke wondered about the set design, a very basic set up, which was something he was used to, but to be on the other side of a piece of glass? 

He had to wonder if they’d ever done anything like that? 

He thought about how they’d used mirrors before, but honestly, he didn’t see the point in a piece of glass, after all, they’d be able to see each other with no problem.  Still he trusted Sachiko with all he had, after all she was responsible for pretty much every portrait that he treasured of him and Yuri together, including those from their wedding, so there was no reason to imagine this would not be a masterpiece.

“Just sit down next to the glass,” she instructed, messing with her camera and alternately looking through it, then adjusting settings, and looking through it again, just normal stuff she usually did while Kiko carefully directed the boys into position with their backs against the glass, facing away from each other.

Sachiko was looking through her camera for a while and then she cleared her throat, stepping toward Ryosuke who looked up at her from his position on the floor.

“What’s this?” she leaned over, looping the edge of a chain he had tucked under his shirt as she pulled on it carefully, realizing he had it on specifically because Yuri didn’t have any jewelry on.

“Oh,” Ryosuke glanced down, pulling the necklace out to reveal the pendent on the end, “It was a gift from Yuri this morning…I…I’m sorry…”

He twisted to look back at Yuri where he’d turned to watch him, a small sweet smile playing at his lips as Ryosuke continued to talk, “I should have taken it off,” he reached his hands up to unclasp it when Sachiko patted at his hands quickly, slapping them away from the clasp.

“No! No! Leave it, I love it,” she mused, “If anyone asks I’ll tell them it was from costuming…” she gave Ryosuke a no-nonsense look when she could tell he was threatening to argue under the current circumstances of jewelry debacles in his world, she smiled reassuringly, “ _I promise_ , you have nothing to worry about.”

Ryosuke glanced over at Yuri who shrugged, “I think it’s fine, no one would guess anything unique about it.”

Ryosuke considered this and then nodded, “Alright.”

“Tell me the story,” Sachiko whispered, an instrumental song beginning to play softly behind her, and she shifted back, moving slowly as she took test shots of the boys just sitting against the glass without worrying yet about angles or composition.

“I had it custom made, I’ve been working on it for nearly two months,” Yuri smiled as he twisted his fingers, secretly quite proud of himself for thinking outside of the box, “I had Hikka help me design it.”

Sachiko hummed but remained silent, letting them tell the story.

“He had it hanging on the hook with my bathrobe so I’d see it when I got out of the shower this morning…with a note written on the mirror,” Ryosuke laughed softly, “It said ‘ _something to keep me close_ ’.”

“He didn’t know what it meant, not at first,” Yuri giggled knowingly, “Then I showed him the  _secret_.”

Sachiko continued to click images, settling down on the floor facing the middle of the glass as she whispered the question softly, “ _What was the secret?_ ”

“It is hollow on the inside, that’s the trick right, I had it made so it looks like a normal pendant–but it’s empty, and it opens up–so I tucked a lock of my hair in it, along with this tiny scrap of a prayer.”

He fell silent for a moment, and his voice was tinged with a heavy emotion when he resumed speaking, “It was this little bit of a paper from a prayer that I’d written…something I’d held onto…that I saved when I was desperately trying to get his attention on during our ‘Coming of Age’ ceremony…”

Ryosuke’s body shuddered with a deep sigh, the emotions rolling off of his body as his fingers touched the necklace carefully, “It’s…it’s just…perfect! Like…the most perfect gift ever. I didn’t…”

Ryosuke swallowed hard, his eyes shifting up to the lights as he blinked and Sachiko could tell he was trying to not cry at whatever he was thinking about, “I…I never knew he did that…that…he’d been thinking that way…had…done it on that day…not until now…just this morning…I knew then.”

“ _What’s that?_ ” Sachiko kept her voice low, the mood so gentle between the boys despite the glass between them it was something so beautiful and touching.

“He went to the temple the morning of our ceremony, way before anyone else even thought about waking up…he…he spent all of this time praying…for so many hours…about me…about…us.”

“I did do that…” Yuri whispered softly, his eyes focusing on the floor, wishing he could see Ryosuke, “I was so afraid of letting that day pass without confessing my feelings…like…everything would fall away if I let it slip by.”

Sachiko remained silent as their story unfolded, words spoken by each of them and the aura surrounding them seemed to take on a sacredness that she could never have hoped for, her fingers moving with skill and desperation to capture the very essence of what made them who they were.

_Together._

“I was  _terrified_ ,” Ryosuke admitted, “I’m not even kidding…I really thought he’d never love someone like me.”

“I was convinced I never stood a chance…he’d never want someone like me…” Yuri whispered softly.

Silence stretched out, both of the boys lost in their own minds, the years of doubts and fears, of struggles and unknowns, of things they  _could_  control and the million and one they  _could never_  have–a heavy weight falling upon them as they reflected on what once was, what they’d both faced–their own nightmares, their own demons all fighting to keep them apart.

Sachiko felt it,  _and then she saw it_ , the moment of sheer vulnerability held within each of them, the haunting memories of what  _was_ , and what  _could have been_ had they not finally taken the step forward. She had no idea they’d struggled this way…though it wasn’t something she’d wondered about before, there was a part of her that assumed they’d always known they loved each other–at least when she got to know them that’s how it had felt to her…but now?

To find out that they’d spent YEARS suffering in silence? That they didn’t confess until their Coming of Age ceremony? She couldn’t believe it, her heart beating wildly at the very idea of such a long time nursing unrequited love.

“ _What happened that day?_ ” she asked softly, and Ryosuke jumped, as if startled out of his internal dialogue.

He smiled, his heart tender within his eyes, and she could tell it was meaningful to him, that maybe no one else had ever even asked him about this. Yuri’s head ducked down, and his cheeks tinged pink before he laughed softly.

“He kissed me,” Yuri spoke quickly before Ryosuke could say anything.

Ryosuke laughed, shaking his head, “No, he kissed ME.”

Sachiko grinned, loving the two of them so much, staying silent to keep from interfering too much, her lens capturing every moment of their revelations.

“I did,” Yuri admitted finally, “…because you were never going to do it.”

Ryosuke smiled at that, “I think I was the one who actually came to you and started the conversation.”

“If by ‘started the conversation’ you meant punched the wall–then sure, sure…”

They both laughed softly, a sigh shared between the two of them at the memory, Yuri’s voice tender with the memory, “It was perfect. Everything was perfect.”

His fingers lifted to touch his lips for a moment, his eyes closing when Ryosuke spoke, his voice whimsical, “It was perfect… _my first kiss_.”

Yuri hummed, because it had been his first kiss too, and then Sachiko whispered softly, “Turn toward me, keeping your shoulders on the glass, please do not look at each other, just look at me.”

The boys both began to shift gingerly, their limbs feeling heavy from the atmosphere, and Kiko moved as quickly and as unobtrusively as possible behind them, carefully moving their hands into position where the mark had been placed, then shifted back to her position to handle the lighting. 

Sachiko’s breath was stolen as she snapped the images, something held within the gentle curves and slopes of the boy’s faces that she hadn’t seen before in all of the images she’d taken of them. Held within their eyes as if glimpsing into the very heart of them. 

They were so raw, so open to her, and she absently wondered if these images might be  _too much_  for publication, if they might reveal too much about their relationship after all.

She could tell they wanted to look at each other, she could feel it like a tangible, living thing in the room with them, and then Ryosuke’s head tilted to touch the glass between them, ever the obedient idol, not willing to break the rule set before him, his words so soft if she hadn’t been watching him she might not have realized he’d spoken at all.

“ _I love you, Yuri._ ” 

Yuri’s expression was filled with an emotion that Sachiko had rarely seen, used to him being a vibrant ray of joy and enthusiasm, the words seemed to cause him to suffer, not in a truly negative way perhaps, but the glass between them clearly felt far too cold for the emotional content of the conversation, his fingertips which had been delicately touching the glass up until this point turning white from the way he was pressing into it now.

“It’s a little like the distance between you when you’re forced to be apart…like when you will be gone,” Sachiko murmured, clearly referring to the glass, and she saw the flicker of understanding in their eyes, and then their expressions morphed yet again, the reality of the past being distant and beyond them now seemed to wash across both of them, and then the truth that Yuri was leaving the next day also was painted like a mask of pain across their features. 

And then, like a dream, more perfect than anything she could have ever imagined or planned or tried to orchestrate as much as she’d considered every single detail of this shoot, their heads turned slowly, apart from whatever rules and implications of breaking them–it no longer mattered, because it was as if they’d surrendered to fate, yet, there was no rush, there was no frenzy in their movements, rather, there was the patience of those who had known tribulation in their echoed movements, their eyes shifting slowly up the glass to discover their hands, placed perfectly together on the glass, the surface so cold under their fingertips and palms despite having the other just on the other side, the one inch of glass stretching like a world between them.

If Sachiko had imagined what expression they would have made in this moment, she would have bet on them being sad, but rather, there was a different one found between them. They weren’t sad at all, and while they were surely introspective, she saw clearly the truth there, in the gleam of their eyes, in the careful set of their mouths, in the way their chests rose and fell, in the delicate impression of truth she saw nothing but  _certainty_. 

They knew this was real, and that the wall between them was  _nothing_ , it meant nothing, and when their eyes moved of their own volition to meet one another, as if they had no control over it but a force greater than both of them demanded it, their expression softened impossibly further. 

Sachiko gestured to Kiko to follow her, and they slowly withdrew as quietly as they could to give them a moment. 

Ryosuke heard them leave, immediately shifting onto his knees, shuffling around the edge of the glass wall that had separated them, Yuri already lifted up to meet him, their hands soft on one another, touching frantically, as they seemed to be desperate to confirm this was real, that the place their minds had taken them, the dark ugly ‘what might have been’ needing to be overwritten with what  _was_ , and their foreheads pressed together, laughing softly as they tried to calm each other down.

Ryosuke’s hands moved up Yuri’s neck, splaying out to hold his cheeks in his hands and his smile was breathtaking as he whispered frantically, “Chiisana, I’m stupidly jealous of the people who will have you for a week, but I’m so hella proud of you for being so amazing.”

“I don’t care about any of those people!” Yuri spoke quickly, his hands running up Ryosuke’s back, “Stop thinking that! I’m going to go crazy missing you!”

“You have to call me!” Ryosuke pulled him close, his arms moving around his back, pressing his lips against his cheek, “Seriously, I don’t give a fuck what time it is you damn well better call me, you got me?”

“I’ll call you all of the time, I’ll wake you up constantly! I’ll send pictures!” Yuri confirmed, shuffling closer still.

“And texts, too!” Ryosuke drew back, holding his shoulders to jostling him softly.

“You’ll get so tired of my texts you’ll turn your phone off!” Yuri laughed gently, shaking his head.

“I really am glad you get to do this job, Ree! Seriously.” Ryosuke tucked his head into his hair, inhaling the scent deeply.

“Me too, but I still need you, even over there! I’ve never done anything like this! Canada was even different!” Yuri clenched his eyes shut, his hands clinging to Ryosuke.

“I’ll be here, I’ll be here for whatever you need! No matter what you need! I promise! You can do this!” Ryosuke pulled back, pressing kisses to his forehead, to his temple, to his crown, holding him close.

Their hands and lips and bodies were starved for touch, needing to confirm every part of this conversation in a visceral way–and once the words slowed down, they laughed together softly, Yuri’s voice gentle and soothing, “Ryo-chan, thank you for supporting me.” 

Yuri smiled, turning his head to press a kiss to Ryosuke’s palm, “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m gonna miss the hell out of you Ree!” Ryosuke sighed softly, his eyes fluttering closed, “…but…I’ll be cheering for you from here, and I’ll be waiting for you to come back home to me.”

“I won’t be long,” Yuri affirmed, promising, “Then I’ll come home to you.”

Ryosuke hummed in agreement, his fingers touching Yuri’s cheeks lightly before gliding around his neck as he drew him up, his lips delicate and gentle as he kissed him, knowing he was already working on the best way to say goodbye to him and that maybe this was the first note of that aria.

“Let’s go home,” Yuri smiled into the kiss causing Ryosuke to pull back, laughing when Ryosuke fluttered a smattering of kisses across every inch of his face, and then nodded, standing up quickly to reach his hand down to Yuri to help him up. 

They turned, glancing around for Sachiko and Kiko, not sure where they’d gone, so they moved slowly down the hallway, hearing a faint noise coming from in the office.

Ryosuke cleared his throat, discovering Sachiko alone in the room, feeling awkward and embarrassed for their lack of professionalism, “I’m sorry about that, we sh–”

“Oh, shut it!” Sachiko snapped, standing up and pulling the two of them into a side armed hug, “I set you two up for this and it was better than I could have imagined.”

“Huh?” Yuri scoffed.

“What?” Ryosuke drew back, “What do you mean? Wasn’t this for the magazine?”

“It is,  _it is_ ,” Sachiko rushed to explain, “but the deadline isn’t until a few weeks from now and we could have done it after Yuri returned, but somehow I had this in my head of the glass and you two and the emotions, and then…well…it was beautiful.  _Thank you both so much_.”

The boys blushed furiously and she drew her hands up to touch their cheeks, “If I didn’t already know so much of your story, even just this today would have convinced me of how  _truly_  you two are meant to be.”

Ryosuke nodded his head, glancing over at Yuri who was staring at him, and then she became overwhelmed with emotion, taking a deep breath and then twisting to hand them a box that had been sitting on her desk, “I can’t…just…there’s a note in there for you–I’ll…I’ll see you next month!”

She rushed past them, clearly to protect them from her emotional overload and they both turned to watch her moving down the hallway and turning into the bathroom. 

Ryosuke looked down at the box in his hands, confusion marring his features, “What in the world–”

Yuri picked the lid up off of the box, pulling out the folded stationary held within and lifting it so they could read it together.

 

 

 

> **Boys,**
> 
> **Here’s a video I made of today’s session. I know I should have told you but I wanted something organic and real, and you two did not fail to deliver. Thank you for putting up with me and my crazy mind.**
> 
> **There’s also a disk with the images on it, all of them, I took A LOT…**
> 
> **I checked and there’s a few I will be able to submit for the spread, but the rest…well, there’s too much in them that the world just shouldn’t see–and I think they belong to you two–I’ve already deleted them off my drive so you’ll have the only copy of them.**
> 
> **You two inspire me, you always did, but I didn’t know all your history, not this bit of it, and now I am even further moved by your love story. Thank you for sharing it with me. I hope these tokens of my affection express how much your trust in me truly means.**
> 
> **You two keep taking care of each other, even if the glass that separates you grows as wide as an ocean. Your love is not limited by distance. That’s abundantly clear to me.**
> 
> **Until next time!**
> 
> **All my best,**
> 
> **Sachiko**

 

  



End file.
